Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

[1 HOUR] TRY NOT TO LAUGH – Best Funny Vines of The YEAR! | RIP Vines 2018


hello this is Joe the editor and I have something to say I have a sprite cranberry up my ass for ten years it hurted LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Excuse me are you Kenny Jenna oh sorry, bye Like a but she gonna Get to Del Taco they got a new thing called for you from your free shabak adieu free Shiva Marlene your speech was so good I’m elated like didn’t even like try you look like improv, oh my god So I’m sitting there barbecue sauce on my titties Add a helium balloon To name I’ll reply to it More like hurricane darn Dilla Prank The cheese of truth immigrants cause cancer Crime you gotta get out of car why there’s a weight limit do my ice to look for time to you you dickhead We all die either kill yourself or get killed Oak right here all right Can you give me something? What are you doing there’s no music plan? Nah do you guys, he’s already done he’s on Hey Dad, I got a question for you Kirk you hungry yeah I could totally use some salad Why are you running how are you not running? Hey I shoved that ball down my pants Even the babies are one of the most dangerous Animals in the world so I built this cage to keep them secure so there’s no possible, oh my god I have an idea imagine I let it Did you teach you that you do that yes did I guess stitch cells Oh Hannah I Assure you it’s because they’re heart healthy and my heart has been severely damaged so John if you’re out there Yes mom the latest sighting happened just two days ago You Sean John What are you looking at? What you think okay I’ll meet you guys out there in a sec. Oh hey babe yeah Never mind sure what the I’ll excuse my language baby Just all right I because no time off a girl you should go out with me. I only date hot guys, oh My boy gonna scoop it up Candace Kenneth let’s get up get out cannon won’t you guys laugh about it Storytime she never even knew her shirt had a whole lot of style Red Robin yo What are you looking at there’s nothing there that’s a walker literally looking at a wall Why are y’all fucking in the middle of hallway because let me get to my class look at the snake charmer hey yo snake uqs hands That’s the dinner rush in the restaurants full but we want to be seated immediately done and done let me pull the table out of my ass Hi, yeah can I have three number nine supersize than three fudge sundaes you guys want anything Story time how does it feel for the narrator to become the narrator a very awkward Having chocolate cake and drinking beer It’s vibe you never heard of it from norway’s its water in glass we don’t plan on power on y’all put it back All right what I get for number 1218 Keep rank yo yo it’s a joke it’s a joke Babe what you want to eat no what do you want to eat. Babe I’m gonna move farther to double cheeseburger In the case of being my BFF I find the defendant gorgeous oh my god Stacy overruled you’re gorgeous you’re opposed to be getting like 2 to 3 inches tomorrow Oh, that’s not Much when I get you 2 to 3 inches last night you said it was a lot honey we talking about snuff They’re gonna hate you hold on one more don’t move don’t move I Don’t know how long it’s been. I haven’t seen light for days hello yeah, what’s up welcome to Hollister? Disney pranks with friends when I see an elephant I’m gonna go get a drink It’s a little tight they like it hmm. I don’t know maybe I should grab you a large looks great Hello 9-1-1 I think my friend is trying to poison you please help how many times do I gotta tell you it’s skin season it yo is Kyle gonna be okay man um I don’t think so he did a bunch of acid before oh My go ahead girl cool see this they got a ramen noodle exhibit you know that’s your favorite be careful cheering that’s a lot of sodium Mom I made you a Hey Robby, my pencil pho can you get that for me I can get that ass for you what I think here Later on yeah Meech never did do his homework ever Hey y’all want to go to Disney World Ask your parents to take you No there’s no queue you lose dude are you kidding me you can still add something I added a belt for earrings and an extra Arm you little what are you doing? I’m Jon Snow sworn brother of the Nights Watch Oh my God look at this night Hey cuz you all my baby for a second I gotta get my pocket So how many Muncie’s. Oh, damn it again not a bitch, oh my god Caitlin get in here what were her last words They’re not important how’d your date go totally blew it so you’re not gonna see him again No, I’m gonna see him this Saturday I thought you said it didn’t go, well no what really Well it’s why I blew it hey, you want a fortune cookie yeah Well nothing small dark roast hey gossip on Bigfoot head, ass I’m really buddy go on your cooter to pocket head ass bitch you look like Kevin Love hey you got that girl’s number last night right what was the name again Oh Distraction oh excuse me Oh One second MUX of the outside Dude what’s wrong yeah go use painting use payday Cover your right eye and read the first line Oh my god It’s fell so will you marry me now read the second line psych, ah done your mother and I are getting a divorce okay, that’s all you have to say a divorce Your word is annoying can you use that in a sentence you stupid annoying cheating stupid mother Hey bring a feel for my home boy is it cute Yeah money I’m on cue Disney brings with rent screw screw How does everything actually do any day now so long I don’t even know who the father is Okay, neither do I. Oh, you weren’t joking nope I like presents no with your white beard If there are any spirits here tonight tell me does this sound like Shakira Or make me so mad I’m gonna buy the Antarctica shoot a penguin Needs another minute hell yeah Pick up this damn room already Hey how you doing do you have a rewards card with That was a lot you are you mute, oh thank you Toss me my keys I said my keys. I thought you said printer why the fuck would I say printer Good evening When I say slavery you say sorry slavery Jesus Who’s coming to my party on Saturday there’s gonna be a taco guy there we’re going to Jennifer’s there’s gonna be a spaghetti guy there cuz spaghetti guy cute Can I help you? Who the hell? Was that got the fresh cut you know this dig first come first serve I don’t know about first serve but it do come first so I said that’s how it’s gonna be you spill when I’m stepping in Poop a a silly a famous HSE escapade hello It’s chief don’t the lighters not mind man okay do you know anything about this crack in your pocket You found that Disney breaks with friends Wow I put you on this song I know you don’t have to remind me every six seconds It’s a therapist what’s your story you know were you? Let’s go play some tennis yeah let me grab my tennis shoes wanna go get lunch I’ll just put on my lunch shoes. Mommy We gotta get out of here where are my fire shoes wait what did you say I don’t remember What do you mean you don’t remember? Oh my god Damn it they helped me out what did I say I don’t know I’m hi – hey poke we need your help I’m my wait what’s the issue gunshots fire truck Up studying for the test for like five hours well I haven’t been asleep yet that’s how much I was studying we got a test Yeah anyone I’ll take one nice bill yeah thanks but apples I’m never drinking again Who ordered the shot whoever ordered the shots you’re not my friend anymore I got a poop, hey Baby, what you want to eat enough you decide? Chinese Mexican subway station KITT we’re out of time Wow Dad where do babies come from Well son first you gotta penetrate that Pussy you gotta go, balls deep I finally graduated. I’m stress-free I’m living my shit so fast sub Oh my god Quincy you I’m going to take this bone right here I’m going to take this Bo hey Timmy come get dinner Young lady if you roll your eyes one more time Okay you’re grounded forever What are you doing my lord? What is this? I am rod stark the young wolf the one true king of the north I sleep naked every time no matter what oh really It gets kind of awkward sometimes because I have narcolepsy the disease where you fall asleep at random times Communication is most important in any relationship, did it work for your relationship yeah You can’t find happiness and money or power but you can find it in someone else plain continuous ukulele music Never okay, so so so this works fine but There’s perfectly looking, when don’t work Yeah I got some candy and water back there ah, suck your dick if you need anything else let me know Oh Got your head What’s the Pythagorean theorem a squared plus B squared equals C squared? If I get how I here’s your food sir Is their problem hey, gun in the band it is a Febreze commercial wait what smells like what oh You have gelato in here good luck wait let me get it for you hey this is my girlfriend Paris There’s nothing to watch okay. Here’s a new series take your text You see me you see of course I see what kind of questions up. Oh and he loved Boo ha hey baby look quick there’s a Diglett right here right here Babe look babe look. Oh all right who wants to be warned today You’ve warned me every day for the past month Okay this is the water bottle flip challenge one two stop praying super games Send me a sexy picture of you and a boss We got a hangout what are you doing tomorrow I don’t know you know what you’re doing tonight Nope in three hours no no no with your life What are you doing in my house give me a Pokemon no one has to get hurt. Okay take it easy take it easy Kids in Africa starvin are you choking on good food What do you been up to actually just wrote a couple songs on ice could I say yeah sure you’re a jackass What did you give me all right you could look you see that brand-new pingzhi wagon out there oh my you got me a paint I got you the same color hat babe it’s a strap bag do you know I think I just Need some time say no more I understand completely Oh No Then I was like I was wrong? Why is he not using baby changing station baby hanging station? Sighs do you guys have a fitting room in the back you got a bay or nah no God you are so stupid what’s that I can’t hear you speak up Your total is 128 37 to me All right have a good day Hey I shoved that ball down my pants oh Yeah record me again like I’ve got a monster inside of a cage All I do is eat the booty like groceries man don’t you eat Let’s get out of here he’s crazy a Guy should mess up your lipstick not your Mascara, mess up my lipstick and people will watch your body get scooped out of a river on the news hey so I like you Oh is that a note Hand it over right now just don’t read it out loud Jessica do you like him like me funny no she don’t wear nice when I saw that but it took my breath away I guess I have asthma, oh my girlfriends are here. Huh hey Dad Okay it’s order whatever you want I want a pony Billy this is MacDonald kid you the pan so with the amount of money your parents made this year we can get you uh let’s see a Backhand, what do you mean? Dude where were you at soccer practice yesterday me and Jordan smoke three cigarettes What I’m still buzzed? I miss everything saw your Instagram and I wanted to confirm that you actually don’t have the best father ever that was Jesus I hope you like fire mom can I go hang out with Casper the goat no, why are you talking to spirits and Santos was a Friendly Ghost yeah Hello buddy how are you? So Cassie told me that she has slept with three elves she’s a little gingerbread slide Christmas cookie I like noodles Also like noodles did I like no duh Where’s my money why won’t you check yeah I saw you think this is funny No The way you took that turn it was so smooth it was like out of a movie secret Yeah can I get a cheeseburger that’s all would you like cheese on that No, I don’t actually make sure there’s, no meat on my cheeseburger either yeah I don’t know either but I’m totally over him, okay? Bye I’ve been walking through the jungle for days Luckily I was able to find some wild bacon the other day you can see me in this video finding it I just heard some my shooting outside my house and I should be getting up right now but I’m eating so they just go ahead to kill me Get up what are you doing get the fuck up do something productive for once get off your ass all you do is you sit there all goddamn Yeah you Can push me sure Miss Smith could I borrow a pencil No I need one Derek it’s summer break how did you get my house it’s hot I’m tired I haven’t eaten in three days but I’m almost to that nearest pokey stop, we’ll keep you guys up Oh you’re awake well your teeth are finished and um gums already in the where’s my ticket well Dirty-ass into my bed Buzz buzz what I was what I heard you got that Paul in Braille I always got the good good Oh Oh butterfly cops How do I write this correctly you should have came or you should have come you should come you should have came We’re talking about ladies right I can’t find one anywhere What the is that? I’m big that you’ll do you realize you can die right now Come on friends of yours has a weird sup you freaking loser do you have a Pokemon fucker old friend and I’m the quarterback the football team I have a Charizard get a life you ned Busted wide open In all you got to get knock man did you find everything okay? Today sir hell no how did you kind of help me how How when you die in your life flashes before your eyes how much of it is gonna be of your net phone Digs out for her round a dick south born Harambee again dick out for Harambee dicks out Hi there Every time Marleen your speech was so good we ladies like didn’t even like try you look like improv and oh my god why do you just take All right there’s gonna be 50 cents 50 cents I thought this was the dollar store something fishy’s going on watch out they’re coming My English is not so good please read this for me You can’t go no Into my heat Jenny we have bananas in our Jakaya Electrolytes Yo man you wanna see a picture of my cock hell no picture of my cock Ralph did you eat my tater tots wrap? My life away I wish I could just stop and go on the cruise smack and roll oh And how old are you little girl I’m three ah Okay guys, tip number one when you walk up to a girl tuck your chin in do it. Gonna be like foot mama looks good Margit will you marry me and On behalf of the church I now pronounce you blocked deleted you may now kiss my ass as if a girl gave me a pair of jeans to wear out on the town and it turned out to be Boyfriend jeans does that mean the know she’s my boyfriend my name is Tracy I like to watch Nancy Grace she’s real smart you know one cigarette can burn a whole trailer dad Jew a Jew what no I just sneezed Oh Daddy pays up Do you want to get fat you want to get punched no I Mean I didn’t think he’d actually do it we were joking that was a joke Oh my god holy see just right over a little boy did you just assume as gender I’m sure had a penis yeah Oh my god. Yeah I didn’t get a Macbook for my birthday, I got Windows that ain’t bad at least you got a laptop damn Guys do you ever get the feeling that God hates you Because you suck at everything all right guys who knows why electrons are smaller than atoms James I don’t even know why I breathe Okay, one second a lot of people think celery is boring I think they’re boring. Oh Thanks, let’s go back to the party I don’t know you give up really mixed signals all the time are you sure yeah like are you in my what what am I Air what are you doing? The neighbor she was so nice Game of Thrones life I have not caught up yet. Oh where’d you leave off right before the the very first episode Oh My boy can’t go in a camp you know Kenneth you know Kenny look at the badges get up get up who sent you oh I Got you these Oreos you know they’re not healthy, well good what the guys name is Mitch Oh she, oh I’ve had it up to here with your nonsense I don’t know what the heck I’m gonna do with you why are you shouting? New cars nice what What you know what I Can do this Mm-hmm Carlo Kevin would tell him to stop laughing cuz the Souris. Hey is watering the grass hey Hey Brook you take me this location yeah But first let’s get this Pokemon come on man anybody got time they don’t get value let’s go get just Pokemon Yo, what are these losers doing outside? Cashy gonna pitch you one second, okay? Actually girls suck and they swallow too Oh Hi, who are you. What are you doing here see there’s a squirtle in here so I had to get out of my house. Oh Tastes like ass Hey I was just wondering if I can maybe come into your house that’s a note so if there’s a Charizard in there you don’t Understand, okay How Can I get you sparkling or still water y’all do Molly water here sir I’ll see what I can do what do you want from Amazon You got a cat stroller what do you think? Have you girls ever had five guys before oh my gosh Brittany you said to slay talking about the food Sara stop right there you’re going to jail what why for breaking the laws of physics Hey bro. What was your son born July 12 no wait mom’s born June 30 cancer babies cancer baby yeah What are you doing? there’s no music playing Your father and I want to talk have you been doing drugs or having sex no I told you, we were raising a pussy Wait wouldn’t I do come on man you kids know how the factory was so fun I got that touches long Laffy Taffy His brown boss, oh man it was so good to see those wrong Molester were you doing they’ll be a player right the Robin I’m swayed from them titties Baba Guys here comes the prom king I’m gonna the big game on Friday uh is there a pokey stop there to think so take a hike door Tonight I’m gonna throw a huge party and I’m gonna invite everyone no not tonight What are you doing here? I have a weigh-in for a little bit I’ve been part of a mission trip in Uganda for like two months Oh what do I think about Pokemon go how about Pikachu what do you think about that huh Yeah yeah I can’t believe what’s going on and I don’t know what side I’m on to Konya or to Taylor teen tailing ah Grandpa wasn’t just my grandpa he was my sister’s grandpa and my cousins You have any plans – nothing why I don’t know it’s thinking we beat you got weed if you got weed? I’m down dude that’s not what I said we do you have Take it out that is the most ridiculous hat I’ve ever seen ha ha ha Hey That is my best friend and that hat is awesome It’s hot outside I think as hot as the crawl space in the basement of my childhood home, okay? Oh I feeling take me to your leader this is him. Oh I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for uh Hey, babe all you think I can have my phone back where’s your phone all I see is our foe so the results have came back and um you’re gay Oh my god are you serious kind of ever took life best shot to win the chicken dancing competition it can’t be that good Maya a savage Hey shan’t do a tampon uh-oh Oh, yeah I think I do thank you so much I really needed one I’ve been having a problem I’d like to return this mug. Please what’s wrong with it I’ve never been to Texas I felt like I was living a lie Dude did you hear about the gorilla that was shot little baby fell into what cage would not go real up uh-huh Mama, free dog people didn’t want to kill it How does the closest liquor store? Hey Sam it did say what Damn You’re good I don’t get it why can’t you use one because a condom killed my brother Oh my god. Babe would you like to add any cookies today Oh, yeah sure how many cookies just one cookies for you cookies okay might as well make it four Wow are you eating pasture grass Yeah, I would never eat that hey mr Johnson what do you want this had to bring your door to some stuff I’m so sorry I love you like a son no it kind has a boyfriend what wow what a beautiful painting and a pungent smell what do you call it explosive diarrhea Happy new year Is gonna be an amazing year I’m seriously gonna get so much done it’s gonna be the best dress yeah and it’s June never mind Hey, buddy you okay? What can I say? I’m a superior breed boy if you get so uppity bunch of dummies looking if you say natty light three times fast a fraternity frisbee tournament will break out next to you 90 light 90 180 lightning no Way mom Chico Hey, I’m here hey. I’m here for the job interview Yeah I’m here to interview for a position in your company so just hop on in Jesus trying And you ride you through to write Three years I’m not God we see your husband left six years ago you some of those tears to water this packets you sat in well Ruby tried to push me yesterday what did you do I want to prank Someone let’s individually wrap each M&M in a packet and give it to someone the effort of that pisses me off listen everyone just stay calm just Remain calm all Muslims will be required to wear special IDs didn’t Hitler say that before the Holocaust. Oh My god what is it daddy know you’re my kid So you still let me try get it off though They still see Barbara we’ll start doing the dishes at 3:00 yeah what time is it 250 let’s start at 3:30 hey kocha I’m sure you’ll hit the showers your bench the whole game How could you have even broken a sweat fine I won’t eat the food showers Dude Tim snapchat just asked me bro open it Hey Sara, let’s go do something I can’t I need to nap come on the left side of my face just fell asleep guess, I can’t Son promise me you’ll never know steal no kill no V remember the key to happiness it starts here a magic lamp yeah you can wish for so many pizza rolls yeah they had this Protosevich jitta blazing correctly Kakarot such a knife let’s don’t you edgy planet kibosh a Hospice goddamn broccoli tip excuse me there was a large rat in the bathroom sorry umm do you mean a vent yes a venti rat in the back Hey what this air Steph? Oh I don’t know probably stay up for that but why did you bring that in my room autumn who’s your boyfriend again Is that trigger You know what fine fire me I don’t care all this bogus Do you feel this Sun wow this is bangin? What’s wrong with him the bees took my pollen choose me what’s the Wi-Fi code? Shh library sorry no no that’s the code oh That’s exactly, what they look like saluting how was it Lily? Dude she’s not just my girlfriend Alright she’s my best friend, oh my Oh alright son I’m just gonna head to the store for a minute promise you’ll come back I promise and I always keep my word why you lie wipe could you pass the casserole are you taking the photo AJ if you’ll just stay out of trouble and get your grades up you’ll be sad dude sod it Damn it my fave salad you need the vape at work I’m freaking out I think I’m in danger hey you could use this for The love of God Karen what is this the bouncing ball there get it Follow that goal Happy Father’s Day here’s your flowers beautiful. Happy Father’s Day beautiful Where you been all year? Here’s some chocolates mom keep please get this dog hair now but didn’t the Bible say the Lord is my German Shepherd well then I guess you can get one If you’re not crying are you seriously crying. I’m not a man Wow sunsets always make me tear up Hey, there you big baby shut up your lack of knowledge and football was making your commentating terrible what are you talking about God what the hell it passes it to the So blurry who the hell is that hello my child God rub me with coconut oil this is definitely not weed Oh The code the code no not Me guess what what no you got a guess okay? I’ll tell you I’ll tell you I’ll tell you yeah Yeah, okay, we’ll play rock-paper-scissors sounds good rock paper paper Babe, what I forgot how to play rock paper scissors but those three everybody’s Jakob so this happened today try to give her a kiss and she came back with a hug You definitely love your grandpa dude he’s not that great right back in my day cars had titties don’t believe well thank you what Funny And then I was like me I’m gonna come we gotta have a talk yes we do Sup man how was your weekend dude it was awesome I took shrooms I took Molly What about you take a pill in Ibiza no I’m just kidding I took a nap Like the worst video ever hey guys a lot of people ask me how I’m doing Mentally and physically so I thought I’d make this video to show you boy Hail Satan What did you say I said God bless you, okay? What you’re so cute? Jesus Christ can you move that way at least a little oh She keeps talking about religion. I’m like calm down that it’s too deep for my ass come on nothing’s too deep for your ass And that is my impression of a goose what I’m not enough of a man to open my own door I was So we still gonna destroy earth now they’re doing a pretty good job without us I feel lazy like we don’t even have to do anything yo Loki nobody likes you But high key makes me feel like I feel like I low key wish I cared We finally could catch pokemon like ash are you serious yes they made a new app I’m gonna download it Come with me we gotta walk around the block I’m not walking Pokemon go it’s awesome where do I need to go for this one that was my favorite Tel Aviv Israel has anybody seen an article oh It’s Pokemon go stuff man if anyone comes up in my house trying to catch a Pokemon all their kits are these hands Pikachu don’t mess with me bro You are not gonna believe what Jessica do you spill the tea you say a smoothie I’m gonna tell me It’s over between us bro but bro. I’m not your bro dog dog come on not your dog homie Give me all your money You’ve been watching stranger things the kids watch it that’s strange Little ice cream with sprinkles here you go you get there got my order wrong he’s gonna get heated Robin get him before he gets away so now you need a sidekick but Robin but Bruce is cute oh you baby started kicking me for you wait Whoo locking doors? stop stop, we want people to start the guys, suck dick it’s about goddamn time with us you do come the police coming Girls stop playing so much what the crap Yeah daddy said the c-word jesus loves me this this, one’s called don’t hit the garage door Matt don’t hit the garage don’t Supposed to pinch me Greg use your Yap Donald you will play Jose Okay, so grab your toys Donald. What do you do don’t build a wall between you and Jose don’t Get Jojo ass home now What are you doing uncle aleck? Are you smoking crack Well your breath stinks, well I’m from the future to tell you it stinks cuz your mom’s cooking Everybody out of my goddamn house immediately what grandpa would have been 18 Years old today we first got together he was four years old but his hands were so experienced Is that why our yard looks like crap Alright class so for today we’re Pros at a record with loose 42u the loo a sizzle people could day or via our bows Calaca spruce TD flock of Your vines are trash you belong in a trash can my mom’s a trash, can white ass how I didn’t know I Really hate it when People call when I could have texted me and said oh my god that awkward moment when you’re scrolling Through, someone’s old Instagram photos and you accidentally comment the entire Declaration of Independence Hey guys, um I’m gonna be going away for a while but be sure to out like this video and subscribe and follow You you’re Good watch you soon I Asked angle tell you know mo screw my slave name call me I can’t Michael keeps Pausing mid-sentence I like really weird times oh hey Michael can I buy your son a bike for his birthday Oh my god you look cute? you look cute today You do oh my god why are you always looking at my phone I Didn’t even know you had a phone Dude where’s the blow just got off the phone with Raoul from the yacht one of you broke the soft-serve machine Angela I already knew it was so tell me the truth welcome to flight can Kai take you oh Really so that’s it baby different it’s fine whatever just make sure to get yourself a man who could do both your mom still fat She shattered a rainbow and skittles came out yeah because. She’s no skittles are my favorite candy Father’s days of one out of your dad’s get to dress up as total sluts and no other dads can say anything I think that’s How there’s how the quote goes you piss in the sink last night no It smells like smells like in it I might have peed a little bit but I doubt it okay? Now it’s your turn for strap-on huh You’re Dwayne the rock Johnson right, well no obviously not oh really because uh Yep, I’m the rock, dad to death yeah Let’s all go around and hear a favorite thing about Chewbacca mom Like, when she laughs yeah let’s eat soon as he lifts his leg you’re gone relax Regis Philbin Eviscerations waiting here for you in the secret Tiger garden grabbing a souvenir from France Pardon me aren’t you married birds, sir that depends who’s asking okay you don’t have to be rude I’m just a big fan sorry Barbara I’ll pay my treat. Oh no Denise I got it ladies we closed three hours ago so someone just Cheers to my last night Oh mom again but that ass though Oh what if you’re on death row and bunnies and kittens get to kill you it put the cute and execute Where the flyff didn’t I think of that Hi Rebecca, you did you see that Facebook? Oh yeah serious. Yeah because you love these buddy, I do I like your receipt Oh No thank you I I don’t want to be reminded okay? 9/11 happened 15 years ago home everything moves good you got the job we can you Said I found dad’s playboy why let me see it what are you doing Hey, I thought I told you to finish those reports finish those reports those resorts I could kiss you Yeah I have something to tell you Hey Doc, I think I have crabs all right let’s take a look then all right it’s pretty bad oh my god what did you do happy bride by ordering lipstick Yeah do you have a nuclear blast bunker why don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to what dude pokemon go is So fun they should make Digimon go What’s your shit shut up Jerry damn it’s how do they not have the book the order I’m sorry but you’re going to have to use your inside voice Listen I’m not trying to do anything inside boys, okay? Hey, guys just make contact with a four twelve-year-old Boys at the last poka stock, which is not how I wanted to spend my Friday you invite Jeff Yeah do you you know he’s in bread right hey guys My parents were cousins you got learn. Oh No exercise yeah, can I masturbate yeah thanks doc not here long long get style wrong dick dick dick We’re in London now so I don’t want you to embarrass me, okay? I want you to show a little bit of class excuse me working my wife take life take time if your breath smells like an oven cleaning itself Brush your damn teeth it’s not that hard You know that green you’re wearing really brings out your thighs you mean my eyes Oh My god you smoke don’t you know that those can kill you yeah that’s kind of the point trying to speed this digit up you know what I got yesterday Bobby oh no Billy why did you I got a cast-iron scale it I cast-iron scam and they stole everything I don’t know what I’m Kid no we don’t kill people Yeah you know I cop that new foreign. Oh yeah would you get Kia Sorento baby all right we’ve got the chicken alfredo ah the shrimp scampi, oh Listen I may be drunk but you’re beautiful smart and I love you and you know how to moisturize Thank you Quincy if you bark one more time you’re gonna go in timeout. Oh Timeout Although you guys know chicken wings please hey you even got chicken Hey man would you watch where you’re going you’re always on your phone? I care about your safety I just don’t want you to get hurt who like my leftovers who ate my brother’s ass Okay How is cam good somebody, was talking trash today so I beat him up Toby I’m gonna take you to jail know what lied hahaha yes you send us. Some nodes girl do you want a book club this week Everyone thinks I’m weird we do we have powers they’re gonna think we’re saw was normal you wouldn’t be a basic cigarette doing dude Rotom go use ominous wind Thanks dad for birth and thanks mom for today You’re just one big Claude Monet painting cuz you are a work of art glitter I just had to tell you how thin you look in the picture you posted today if you lost weight today’s photo Throwback Thursday I must have missed that Self promotion man you just had a control come on don’t be like that Follow me on Twitter we can talk about you’d like to talk a lot though do you like to talk a lot put your paws Up, okay, you’ve had your fun but it’s nap time now you ready to go Ariel. I’m breaking up with you but why why You keep shoving parks in my hair for no reason is that the real time, no that’s an hour fast yes, somewhere to be My name’s Elroy I’m from Down Under this alligator travels at about 50 miles anyway You say you’re gonna give him back I was like 20 of them Wait I came here in the list you better? Take with your bitch fast dude look what I found what is that it’s cool right no building a wall? Yeah can you ski oh yeah, I love it ah Wait what’s he do hey boss new logo design I like it what do we call it I’ll have one Mike’s Hard Lemonade and your phone number no Umbro Yo Chris are you gonna dude come on? Jared food’s ready babe can I use your headband so I don’t like a Betty blue mushroom Sorry I’m I’m so sorry so sorry You That got it again at Krispy Kreme Honestly I don’t remember I was probably I was crazy back then I barely got any sleep last night all those bad Babs you got kept you up huh knows my anxiety and depression Looks like I’m not getting into college turns out I failed my um Nam is not -18 my STD test so No thanks You know people you want to put yourself Sooner minute Heard about Isis on the news it ain’t ice cream got one of these cocksuckers honey you seen the saute pan What’s wrong with you I hit my head did you drink and stumble yeah I get that I fell playing twister alone Have you been losing weight yeah how my college loans I’m so poor I can’t afford food He was trying to smother me with his mattress so I guess you, woke up on the wrong side of the bed yeah You didn’t get the joke does she really got a big boo you know she just got like a half from the store You still want to buy the house uh. I’ma leave because I know I got a job straight out of college it has great pay what have you been doing Working if we’re the only ones left in this planet what would we? Do first I’d break up with you what Do you think Sabretooth I think it’s a unicorn give it back? Well son you’re getting to that age I think it’s time you learned how to destroy that pussy Whoo, Jeana I love that, dress it really brings out your eyes and your thighs and your vagina Bri you need to wash your dishes oh is my house too dirty for you if you don’t like on my house that you can Go right back home I let me live my life, oh you tough you’re ready to join We? Gotta suck you in yeah don’t you jump me yeah look – Boop – just jump me in oh my god my dick fell off Hey my dick matters – well then worse your dick huh firmly attached to my body shut the hell up and get an ambulance I’m so bad at baking recipes are step-by-step instructions Yeah, so you’re actually telling everyone you can’t read hey you got a nice face oh thanks Yeah reminds me of a raccoon I got hit by a car three days ago that’s been sitting in like 90-degree weather is upload sir Have you been drinking this, eve guess I’m gonna have to ask it wait ah Damn it all right have a good day Hey, you’re not supposed to be in here leave or I’ll make you late what the hell where did he go? I just wanna see it yeah actually I do go through so much shit it’s Been 30 minutes trying to beat this gym and this guy Keeps going keep winning excuse me sir my Bulbasaur’s gonna throw is gonna cue up. Oh Wait Hey teacher can go to the bathroom I don’t know can you. I don’t know can I I don’t know what what you know what Pokemon go people are dying out on these streets the servers are up is that Pikachu’s Mirai a nice team okay, okay Oh Baseball I’m gonna go jerk off now Pro knows and free white sand quarry into people’s poppy yo banaynays Chancellor Pope’s Sam packing a man juice Check up he’s outside Hey boss no the toilets clogged in the men’s restroom where should I just use a woman’s real quick it’s okay? Okay, yeah cool just use it All right what is this number three good what is this? Number two awesome what is this smitty werben jaegerman hot dogs Or likes pictures are so funny yeah that food truck for cannibals like hot dogs or legs I love it I need to go home I wouldn’t Worry too much about the election people can be impeached or Assassinated Secret Service is gonna watch you now they’re gonna watch me binge eat in my underwear that one guys Starting thank you that one teach you that makes you do homework Yeah, I made you breakfast sweetie I don’t want it but it’s your favorite I only like it What daddy bakes it will make it every day when mommy leaves you eat your breakfast grandma food thing’s gonna win the March Madness this year We go Wait you ain’t dancin you got me baby you got to know my god. What do we do just play it cool okay? Okay, huh What was that because my pants and where were you last night I went to the club what are you fighting a bluff I Club Unidentified life-form in sector eight are you on drugs again houston, we have a thing we have a problem it smells like balls in here I know it that’s my like mom how you think you got here, oh you mean you mean John how many purple zebras had to be killed for you to get those The park rangers keep yelling at me yeah cuz you feed the geese yes cuz I’m the mother of geese and they’re loyal and they Will fight for me I’m not going to bed oh My god Shots, okay Thanks watching I wasn’t watching I claim this house mine no I live here oh I already called the guys, well mr. Jones his sexy ass Hasn’t been behaving in class really did you not hear that about hello everyone this is your captain speaking I’m 34 years old a Capricorn and a dog person, I love long walks on the Have you ever been told to stop to give up, well I’m here to tell you to stop stopping because Oh My god oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, when your siren doesn’t work Moment I ship you guys argh but that means what are you saying Hey Arnold Tamagotchi talking boppers all that skip it What are they doing picking the language of 90s kids Cathy on the bully you know what helps me think Christina way chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate hey Matt can checkout move on the curb Hey this goes in the engine right. Oh no one’s gonna answer me alright, well I’m doing it I’m gonna go take a dress so uh your ex are you crazy all right II threw away last week Can you please shut these shut up Fucked up with Jess last night you eat her Ass oh man I’m on a juice cleanse you can still eat ass on a juice cleanse you can You know how guys pee standing up do they poop standing up – yes how does it not get on their feet they aim yeah like I think it a burglar would like just lettuce So you mean a salad no like I want the burger just like no buns From here You

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