Also, know what else? He likes to take off his shirt and wrap himself in an Arbok like a blankie! Try as they might, sensors just can’t catch everything that animators try to slip into shows and, as we’ve talked about before, animators are always trying to slip in some real rude crude junk, man! So, grab a cold one… or a hot one… or any kind of one you want because it’s time to kick back and watch 10 times that animators snuck jokes past the censors. Or a better title? Whatever it says right here. There have been so many Teen Titans cartoons by now that it’s kind of hard to keep track of them all and though they all have their own take on the adolescent crime fighters, they share one thing: A fondness for dick jokes. Robin: They got all the details just right! Beast Boy: Speak for yourself. In case you missed it, Beast Boy is looking down the pants of his smaller self and is none too pleased with what he sees, which I’m guessing is nothing, if Ken dolls are anything to go by. Young Justice aged up the teen team a little bit, but they still had plenty of immature moments. Like here, where Kid Flash plays with his color-changing suit. Artemis: We look ridiculous. Artemis: Quit touching yourself! This is probably hopefully the only place that you’ll ever see a kid “touching himself” on TV, or well, anywhere. Teen Titans Go! has to be the most divisive series of the franchise, but, even if you’re not a fan, you’ve got to be impressed by this quick sight gag during a cooking competition in one episode. Announcer: Unbelievable! I’ve never seen anything quite like it! If it’s not immediately clear that Cyborg is “beating his meat”, please note that in this shot only his apron reads food pun. Cherish that, dear reader, because it’s not frequently that an animator will spell the joke out for you. It’s tougher to sneak dirty jokes into anime dubs, usually because a big part of localization is weeding out anything that could be deemed inappropriate for children, but you can find some real gold in the Japanese version of Pokémon. For instance: Take a look at this scene where Brock is scoping a picture of a preteen girl. This bit was altered for the English dub, probably because localizers thought it was a bad idea to introduce American third graders to the idea of “jail waiting”. Misty: It’s a girl? Ash: Oh, yeah, you’re right about that. Brock: She can violate my rights if… Misty: Hey! That said, there are a number of scenes that have seemed to slip by the censors. Like this scene from Pokémon XY: And I’ll just let you figure out what that’s supposed to mean by yourself. What? Oh, you got it already? You got it because it’s incredibly obvious? Yeah. Yeah. The last time we talked about Gumball it’s because the main character had given a blowjob to a balloon in a school bathroom. Let’s see if we could top that. If there was any doubt what kind of hardcore fruit porn action Banana Joe was getting off to, the box of tissues really sells the deal. Banana Joe was blasting off again. When moments like this are so unambiguously dirty, it really makes you consider the other more questionable elements of the show. Darwin: Let’s just go back in. No, no, NO!!! Gumball: Did you see what that bear did to that guy’s cherry? Yes, a bear just popped that guy’s cherry. Also unsubtle is what happens to the character Hot Dog Guy after he gets blasted with cold water in the shower. Gumball: Careful the water’s not too hot! [Hot Dog Guy shrieks] Gumball: Oh, too cold? Hot Dog Guy [high-pitched]: Oh, no, no, no. [clears throat]
Hot Dog Guy [deep voice]: It’s fine. The concept of “shrinkage” should be familiar to anyone who’s seen that episode of Seinfeld or who has endured this formative moment of body horror at any point of their life. In this post post only 90’s kids will remember era, three crusty jpegs of Rocko working a phone sex line should be old hat to anyone on the internet. They’re usually stamped with like an iFunny… 9GAG… I-Uncle Memes dot Humor Chuckle Hut Watermark You know what I’m talking about. But the show is substantially raunchier than you might remember. For instance, it might be easy to forget how intense it gets when Mrs. Bighead attempts to seduce Rocko. And by seduce, I, of course mean… I mean, she literally puts drugs in his drink. Spanish fly is infamously an aphrodisiac, but it’s possibly better known as an irritant that straight up ruins your dick and possibly kills you. Really, she should be in jail for the rest of the series, but the seduction continues in her bedroom. Mrs. Bighead: Oh, Rocko. Don’t you like my eyes? Hmm? Rocko: Oh yes, they’re lovely. Mrs. Bighead: Touch them! Rocko: Yes. Oh my. Very soft and veiny. Also, surprising or not, this isn’t the only time that big soft cartoon eyeballs have stood in for other parts of the human anatomy on the show. Ahhh, youth. Cough, please. [Rocko coughs] And honestly, even if this is toned down, I’d prefer the real thing to a doctor grabbing my eyeballs. Compared to the depravity of Rocko and Gumball, this one is almost cute. When the stars of 2 Stupid Dogs visit a post office, they’re given a choice of many forms of postage including an old Elvis stamp and a young Elvis stamp. I’ll let you guess which is which. Same day, next day, yesterday, air mail, express mail, no mail, young Elvis, old Elvis. Maybe it’s because I just saw a banana watching a video where an orange gets spread open like a human vulva, but right now, a little sperm wearing and Elvis hairdo seems positively wholesome. Magicians use a thing called misdirection to keep the audience’s attention in one place while they work on the trick somewhere else. And the same principle can be applied to fitting dirty jokes into cartoons. So, when Arnold’s grandmother disrobes at a nude beach, the last thing that they’d expect anyone including censors to notice is the sign in the background. Grandma: Well, when in Rome. Now the internet at large claims that this stretch of sand is called Mature Wood Private Beach, but a closer look at that sign will reveal that it’s actually Nature Wood Private Beach, which is, I mean, really it’s kind of just as bad. And there you have it! Ironclad proof that boners exist in the world of Hey Arnold! Good luck looking at Grandpa Phil’s weird-shaped head ever again. Throughout the show’s run, the Powerpuff Girls took on and dismantled macho stereotypes in hilarious and sometimes subversive ways. Men of Earth: Witness the coming of Mascumax! “Witness the coming of Mascumax” might not sound questionable to you right now, but hold on to that sentence and it might start looking a little different. Mascumax: Be there any true men amongst thee, stand forth and bring thy manhood against my own, so that we might see who has the upper hand upon the measuring stick. Every word that Mascumax says is a double entendre. It’s kind of incredible what they got away with here. The language might be a bit flowery, but he’s essentially saying that he wants to compare manhood with a ruler. The dude is literally saying that he wants have a dick measuring contest! And the innuendo gets even the little more overt than that, if you’d believe it. Mascumax: Fools, I feed off your expulsions of manliness. The more manhood you bring against me, the harder I become! The episode is titled “Members Only”, which simultaneously describes the exclusive nature of an all-male superhero team, while also… includes the word members. Whoever came up with that, I hope you got a raise. Time and again, we return to the Justice League well of dirty jokes and each time, we dredge up something murkier and muddier than the last. In the episode “Maid of Honor”, Wonder Woman befriends the recently engaged Princess Audrey and the rest speaks for itself. Audrey: Look, I’m getting married soon. This is my last night in Paris as a free woman. Diana: I’m not really following. Diana isn’t well-versed in the fleeting and ultimately meaningless desires of human beings, but at least she tries to fake it, right? But when Princess Audrey invites that Wonder Woman come along, she does so by dropping this bombshell. Audrey: I’m a world-class party girl. I intend to go out with a bang; several, if it can be arranged Wonder Woman probably took Audrey’s wish for several bangs quite literally, but we, the audience, know that she’s not talking about fireworks. Up to now, these cartoons have been getting by on double meanings, but in the episode “Furrball Follies”, Fifi La Fume says the word gigolo aloud like it’s nothing. There’s no subtext here. It’s all just text. She’s just talking about gigolos. She’s got a really thick cartoony French accent, so it’s possible that the censors just weren’t paying attention and thought it was gibberish, but it really does paint her next line a new light. Then again, I could be reaching here. A stiff red stick of meat isn’t always supposed to represent a penis, right? Right? Cow and Chicken may not have been the most popular Nicktoon, but it almost certainly got away with more than any other Nicktoon. Even its tamer jokes were still pretty lewd, like the time Chicken snuck into a girl’s bathroom. Chicken: Hey guys, I think they can buy cigars in here! Ignorant kid thinking that a tampon machine is a cigar dispenser is almost kind of charming, but that’s where taste and subtlety come to a swift end. The most infamous episode has to be “Buffalo Gals”, in which a couple stereotypical lesbian bikers charge into people’s homes and start eating their carpets. As the story goes, this episode aired exactly one time before being pulled from broadcast forever. This was back in 1998, so it’s unclear whether that’s because of the crass stereotyping or because Cartoon Network accidentally acknowledged that gay people even exist. These boundaries don’t seem to apply to the rest of the series. The bit with the As-Wi-Pe tribe is still rebroadcast from time to time. That kind is being flown by the good good people of
As-Wi-Pe. As-Wi-Pe! As-Wi-Pe! The characters pronounce it “as we pay”, but the subtitles make it look like what it’s supposed to be: the word “asswipe”. Did I mention this show was classy? Because boy howdy! Cow: Are you THE Dr. Chunks, professor of milk? Dr. Chunks: The same. Cow: Oh, it would be an honor to squirt for you.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) There’s this little secret with animation that a lot of people may not know. You see, it takes time to draw every single frame of a cartoon, so when a character looks directly into the camera at the exact moment they’re delivering a punchline, it’s because the animators want to make extra sure that you know that they’re talking about female ejaculation.