– Charles, you gotta stop. (Charles squawking) – I don’t, gobble, understand people. – But Charles.
– Gobble. – Dude.
– Gobble. – Gobble gobble your tail feather is caught in the gobble door. – Thank you gobble. Wait, what? – Ow. – Oh. – Gobble. – Gobble. (upbeat music) – Will you sort your washing out ASAP? I’ve got a white wash ready but it’s gotta go on tonight ’cause your dad’s run out of pants. You’ve had to go commando today, isn’t that right, Nick? – What? – You’ve got no drawers on. – Mom. – Yeah, she’s right. I’m flapping around like an
elephant’s trunk down there. – Dad. Elephant’s trunk, I should be so lucky. ♪ Ha da da da da da da da da ♪ – [Happy] Hey, mister, can you see me? – Yeah. – Oh, you can see me! – Kill this thing any way you can. – Ah! ♪ I’m Happy! ♪ Here comes the fun. – Stop! You’re not real. – Of course not, I’m an imaginary friend. – Now you’re in the friend zone. (audience laughs) – No, no, no, I’m not in the zone. – No, Ross, you’re mayor of the zone. – Guys, there’s somebody
I’d like you to meet. – [All] Aw! – Wait, wait, what is that? – That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? – No, no, I don’t. – Well, don’t you see how gross that is? I mean that’s like you
using my toothbrush. (audience laughs) You used my toothbrush! – Well, that was only
’cause I used the red one to unclog the drain. (audience laughs) – Mine is the red one! (audience laughs) – Had a good day, Del? (audience laughs) – Had a good day, good day? One of the best, grandad,
the very bloody best. I’ve been chased by a gendarme. Attacked by a pussy cat with him, and almost caught rabies. And it’s all this dipstick’s fault! – Oh, he can oft exaggerate. – Exaggerate? You should have been
with me in there, eh Rod, It was like “Call of the Wild”. Why didn’t you warn me that
that copper was coming? – Because I didn’t see him. – You didn’t see him? What do you want me to get you? Radar or something? (audience laughs) – I’ve noticed you’re
pretending to masturbate. And I was wondering if you
wanted to talk about it? – Aw, I wish my mom was a sex guru. – So, why don’t you start by telling me your earliest memory of your scrotum. – Trust me, you don’t. – I’m worried about you, man. Everybody’s either
thinking about shagging, about to shag, or actually shagging. This is a new frontier, my
sexually-repressed friend. Our chance to finally move
up the social food chain. – That’s great, you guys have to go. – Why? – It’s just not a good time. – Leonard has a lady over. – I gather. Is a lady here? – Uh huh. – And you want us to because
you’re anticipating coitus? (audience laughs) – I’m not anticipating coitus. – She’s available for coitus? – Can we please just stop saying coitus. – Technically that would
be coitus interuptus. (audience laughs) – Hey, is there a trick for getting it to switch from tub to shower? Oh, hi, sorry. Hello. (audience laughs) – Enchante, mademoiselle. (audience laughs) – But aren’t most of our activities kind of geared towards couples? – Name one couple’s activity that wouldn’t be more fun with your boss there? Mmm, I love the way the
mud revitalizes your skin. – And I love how it masks my shame. – I am loving this. – Fun fact, the average American marriage lasts fewer than two days. – That’s not true. – It doesn’t have to be, it’s commentary. – We have to get ’em back together. – Pass. – Well, I’m doin’ it with
or without your help. – Okay, without.
– Okay, you called my bluff. It has to be with your help. And I’m not taking no for an answer. – No.
– Okay, you did it again. Why are you like this? – I don’t know. (audience laughs) – What’s so funny? – Carlton told a joke. – No, no, no, Hilary, Carlton is a joke. (audience laughs) – Hi, kids! – Uh oh, needy father alert. – Hey, hey, hold it, hold it. Now what is that supposed to mean? – Come on, Dad. Every time Mom goes away, you start wanting to do things with us. It’s not fair. – So, what are you kids saying? – What we’re saying is, here’s $10, go to the movies. Run! – Hey, hey, hey, come on! Now you, Mister Smarty! – Oh, hi, Will, you wanna go to a movie? – Sure would, Uncle Phil. Thanks a lot, appreciate that. (audience laughs) – If you’re watching this,
then I’m not around anymore. But don’t spiral, don’t
obsess, keep going. You know how grumpy you get
when things don’t go your way. You’ve got such a good heart. You’re born like it, you’re just decent. – This is Sandy. If you could show her the ropes, tell her what’s what. – Humanity’s a plague. We’re a disgusting, selfish, parasite. And the world would be a
better place without us. That the sort of thing you meant? – No. – Look, Jerry, get out of the booth, take all of your clothes off, and fold yourself 12 times. – You got it. – Six folds, huh? What do you guys got me in, a Series 9000? You cheap insect (bleep) didn’t think I was worth your best equipment? – Huh, man, I told the money bugs, I said, you know who this guy is, right? You want me to get intel out of the smartest mammal in the galaxy, then you better give me
a decent Brainalizer. – Well, you might as
well order some pancakes because I don’t see the need to leave this part of my brain. – [Narrator] Ah, there you are again. Before we begin, a refresher. – Are you ready for your insemination? – Hi, yes. – I artificially
inseminated the wrong woman. – Mom.
– Shh. – Mom, I need my wedges. You told me I could borrow. – Hang on, honey, one minute. – This is a great moment. Let’s tell her that I’m
her father right now. – It’s hard dating someone
that doesn’t put out. – Woo. – When I say I’m meditating, I’m just trying to figure out what the fork is happening. I think we might be in an alien zoo or on a prank show. (Michael giggles) – No, Jianyu, we’re dead. – Whoa, that’s a dope prank. Gotta give it up. – Blah. (coins splashing) (phone rings) Your key’s ringing. – I have a question for you. Are you out of your damn minds? – You know, I can’t even
watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of my mother saying, Stewart, which one is Thrones? (audience laughs) – Shimmy! Shimmy! – Let me get you some condoms. – [Otis] No thanks, mom. – Your new shirt is very
aggressive and confusing. Is the pineapple the slut? Or is it calling someone else a slut? – Clearly, the pineapple is the slut. – [Jake] Oh. – Did I have a purse? No, I’m dead, right. Okay. (glass breaks) – Is he gonna be okay? No, he is not going to be okay.