Laughter is the Best Medicine

28 STAB WOUNDS!! | Jacksepticeye’s Funniest Home Videos

No, just find me the good content. Find me really good stuff! I have nothing if you don’t find it, okay? If I’m out here reacting to nothing… How else is that? That’s not gonna attract the people, okay? Sort it out! Hello, and welcome everybody! Welcome back to Jacksepticeye’s Funniest Home Videos. Tha-I was just talking to my, my little elves there for a second. They’re off trying to find it- No! Not leprechauns! They’re fucking elves! okay? They workshop the jokes!.. Why am I yelling? *Said every person ever to watch this channel.* But we have hopefully cooked up some good stuff for today. I really have high hopes for this one. You know, the first few episodes are really hit n’ miss, this one… This is gonna be the crowning glory. Now, you guys remember Yello Dyno, right? you guys remember Yello Dyno the pedophile hunter, right? Well, apparently there is a whole slew of shit with him in it. This is a 39 minute video. I could just sit here and react to all of this, but I want to see what else Yellow Dyno gets up to. I want to see- That’s the one we’ve already seen. Stop yelling at me! ( No you stop yelling , Jack) Lady onscreen: the story you are about to see it’s about a little girl who falls prey to a tricky person called Reginald Charming. J: Just call them pedophiles! Lady onscreen: You will learn how to recognize the behavior that means danger. J: just you go to court and it’s like “Mr. Samuels, I’m sorry. You are being sentenced to 14 years in prison for tricky people behavior. Lock him up boys.” Lady: Now kids, after you watch this video make sure that- J: Make sure to LIKE comment and subscribe after you watch this video kids. Lady: Knowledge will keep you safe. J: Knowledge. Oh my god. It’s just like a full-on.. like, show? This is an actual like–basically a 40-minute show of Yellow Dyno and his life *Light chuckling at the title screen* Tricky people! *Through laughter* Oh, no! Oh, no, they’re on a website! I think instant messaging kids.. On a site– on an instant messenger called Kid Koral. It’s horrible. Guy onscreen: I told her that you said specifically that no one was supposed to come in here- J: nO oNe waS sUpPoSeD tO cOmE iN hEre (Talks like Nugget) Other guy: Thank You Wendell. J: The hell is going on in the show? I want the pictures. Girl: Hey, what are you doing?! J: Oh, God! Girl: let me go man, or I’m gonna tell!! So tell! You see what happens to little girls who tell. *Nervous laughter* Ha HA ha HA haa Jacksepticeye’s funniest home videhaaos! Guy in video: if these pictures Guy in video: Ended up at your school. Wouldn’t your friends be surprised? How much…you’ve grown…? J: AaaAHH no- y- fuck it, no, I hate this, no, moving on! Video/show theme song: Tricky people, tricky, tricky people Theme song continues: They look like you and me J: Well, this is a change of pace. Theme song: tricky people, tricky, tricky people,- Theme song: are bent where you can’t see *Dances happily to the beat* Boy sings: What if you see a guy in town, who wants his puppy found? J: Wait– Theme song : take three steps back, take three steps back, that’s how you can begin J: Wait, you kept saying “take three steps back”, so I took- that’s like- I’ma have to take like 36 steps back at this point. Girl sings: what if a guy shows you a badge and he says he’s a cop? (Yello Dyno: Huh?) Girl sings: call 911 or you call 0, that’s how you begin *Jack crumbles into laughter* OOHHH God! So if dude looks like a cop, shows you a badge and says he’s a cop Then you should call 911 and run away. Okay, I mean I get what you’re going for cause he could be a pedophile, but also… Has any pedophile ever pretended to be cop? Theme song : tricky people, tricky, tricky people, yeah, they look like you and me Yello Dyno: Yeah they do! *Jack breaks into laughter* Yello Dyno is basically Lil Jon. They look like you and me. *imitating* Yeah, they do. Yeah! What! Theme song: take three steps back, take three steps back, that’s- Theme song: That’s how you begin
J: Kay, that’s six steps back. Theme song: Take three steps back,
J: Okay Theme song: take three steps back
J: Okay Theme song: then run like the wind J: So are you saying to take three steps back or twelve? I don’t know, I’m confused I’m a kid and I’m looking out for pedophiles and I don’t know where to turn *jokingly confused* Let’s move on from something a little darker and move on to something a little lighter! Something that actually might make us laugh. That’s the whole reason that we are here in the first place is to not look at pedophiles or– Sorry- “tricky people” Cameraman: Yo, X Games J: he on X Games, mo *Jack chuckling* *Guys in video makes noises of surprise* J: Nice! Cameraman: oh my god! J: That laugh though… C: BOOO! *Jack imitating the sound while chuckling* BOOOOO! This fuckin guy holding the camera. “Yo, X Games” (Video replays in background) C: yo, X Games *Jack screeches in time w/ the cameraman & for the “OOOOHHH”* *Jack breaks into laughter & imitates the cameraman’s wheeze* That was the best part of that video, okay, I think I know what’s about to happen in this video… Phil Swift: You may have seen a few people test Flex Seal on a bucket! J: good old Phil Swift! *Jack chuckling* *Loudly* That’s a lot of damage!!! *BANG* Connor: 28 STAB WOUNDS! *Jack breaks into laughter* *Lightly laughing* Okay, I knew it was coming and it still made me laugh. *Chuckling* “28 stab wounds!” I love that meme. Let’s watch more of them. Let’s watch more of my boy Connor- (Connor imitation) the Android sent by CyberLife! *Files slammed onto desk* Connor: 28 STAB WOUNDS!! J: Scared me *chuckles* You didn’t want to leave him a chance, HUH? J: *chuckling* *imitates the “HUH” Connor: You stabbed him again, and again, and again J: Why is it so quiet…? *Connor slams fist onto desk* JUST SAY ‘I KILLED HIM!’ J: Jesus! J: I killed him, okay, stop! Jesus, 28 stab wounds. Yeah, I remember! Holy fuck! *Loud BOOM* Fuck Jesus. Wait, stop! 28 stab wounds Connor *very loudly*: TWENTY EIGHT STAB WOUNDS (“Hollaback Girl” starts playing synched to Connor slapping Hank) *Laughter* *Static* J: Already off to a great start, you have Putin with a sniper rifle. J: Ohh.. *Laughs, then P O W* *Another P O W* *laughs more* Oh, classic clips! Another classic, *P O W* yes! *Another P O W, then jack laughs* Oh, that was good! Oh, good meme, good joke, good boys! (what happened to elves?) I don’t know why I said that one, but good, I like it. Okay, more of those, please. So this is a channel called “much dank”, that uploads these videos that all have content aware scale thumbnails, and this one’s called “Cardi B speech, but she only makes weird noises”. Guy on left: Well, hot dang And the iHeart Radio Award goes to….. Cardi B! Cardi B: Yeaaahhh! J: *laughs* replaced sound videos are amazing! Cardi B: Yeahh!! *Jack laughs* Cardi B: Eeyeuo J: These are all sound she’s made! *Cardi B: hoohetiahehoohia heheheheh AHAHAH Cardi B: ‘Cause even when I’m wrong they be like, ‘BA BA BA BA BA BAH’ *Jack breaks into laughter* J: Oh my god, it’s fucking gold! (Cardi B laughs) What is Cardi B? *Cardi B rolls ‘r’* *Jack laughs* Cardi B: Mariah Carey J: Cardi B forgets her own name
Cardi B: Yeah. No. Cardi B: Do you know? *Beep* Interviewer: and you are Cardi? Cardi B: bacterial vaginosis? No. *Jack bursts into a fit of laughter and Cardi B giggles* Interviewer: You are Cardi? Cardi B: Bitch. Interviewer: Yes exactly! *Jack laughs* Oh, it’s so stupid and I love it! Speaking of videos that have audio replaced from the original, this is one of my favorites. This one is so good! This one gets me every time. *Very out of tune guitar plucking as Elvis walks onto the stage* E: Hm? *Shrugs* *Plays a VERY out of tune scale* (Jack chuckles in anticipation) *Elvis starts playing; strumming makes very little noise; shoes squeaking* E: Woo! J: *strained* Oh my god *video continues* E: Whoo! Heehee hee! J *strained*: Even watching it now, it’s hard to think that that ever made (E: Whoo!) any good sense E: YEah! *Jack starts laughing* E: ehuh It’s one of my favorite YouTube videos. Bongo Cat – big thing going around lately. Actually is probably gone by now cause I’m late to memes. Well, if your a day late to memes you’re late to memes, but! Bongo Cat is one of my favorite things going around right now It’s basically trumpet kid and the girl covering her ears same kind of idea but it’s adorable and I love it *Roundabout starts playing* *Through laughter* Fucks sake! Okay, I didn’t expect that. Oh, to start it with it ,and to not have to build up… *In video* “That’s got to be the best pirate I’ve ever seen!” J: Oh no. Oh no… *video* “So it would seem” *Bongo Cat plays PotC theme on the keyboard, Jack laughs* Oh, he’s so cute! Look at him go! *music muffles* No! He drowned he’s dead now, sorry. *Quiet music* OH, yes, yes, yes! Oh I love this song yes! *Jack claps 4 times* You know what’s coming! *Bongo Cat sing-yelling, Jack laughs* *Bongo Cat continues* J: Fuck Yeah! I love it! *Laughs more* J: Jesus Christ, he’s so cute! *Bongo Cat sing-yelling in the background* *Video* “This bad boy can fit so many LööPS” “Did you say…LööPS?” “Brøther, may I have some lööps? Please give me some lööps. I am hungry brøther.” J: I don’t get memes anymore. * voice continues in background* I don’t get it. I feel like if I’m not on the internet 24/7, I just feel so out of the “lööps, brøther.” *Everyone Joins The Battle meme music* *Chuckles* Oh, that’s good, I love the merging of memes. Bongo Cat: LET’S GO!! *Jack laughs* *Earrape* *”We Are Number One” plays*
J: Yeah!- aw… Stefán… *We Are Number One by Lazytown* *Jack joins in* We are number one. Hey! Fuck Yeah, I want Bongo Cat to here, to here to stay- I want Bongo Cat for pra- I don’t know what I’m saying. Bongo Cat for life. Phil Swift: What’s up, flex fans, we’re gonna check out the new (replaced audio->)rocket. “It’s awesome. I think you’re gonna love it. Whut?!- OW!” *Jack bursts into laughter* *Through chuckling* That was really well edited! That was cool. It’s awesome. I think you’re gonna love it.Whut?!- OW! *Jack laughs* Oh, poor Phil Swift. I hope he’s doing well. Good morning (replaced audio ->) MOTHS. Let’s get this (replaced audio ->) LAMP. J: Okay. Okay. I don’t know what moths and lamps shit is, okay? So- I feel like the way people make up memes these days if somebody’s sitting at home and being like God, I really wished that Moth would stay away from my lamp. So annoying. *Keyboard mashing* Straight to the Internet! (GOOGLE! SOLVE MY PROBLEMS) *Video with Undertale – San’s boss fight music* J: Oh this is gonna be good *Music blasts, Jack bursts into laughter, then coughs* *COUGH* Okay, well I would love to stand here and laugh with you all day, but that was some of the best things that we got offered this time. If you have any suggestions of what to-uh, what the Funniest Home Videos are, any of you guys watching anything right now any videos that you guys have seen, that’s really made you laugh, recently, just send them on over. Leave a suggestion down in the comments, let us know. Save my elves some fucking work, ’cause they’re… They’re-they’re all dead. They’re all dead… *Exhale* Good night everybody!! (Outro song “I’m Everywhere” by “Teknoaxe, link in the description, CC editing/enhancing credit to Nick Lee Valentine and other peeps) Oh, I’m so hungry, I could eat ass! (spicy hot content jack, you are the best X3)

100 thoughts on “28 STAB WOUNDS!! | Jacksepticeye’s Funniest Home Videos

  1. About to take my Driver's Test and having a panic attack. Your laughing calmed me. Thank you Jack for all you do ❤️❤️

  2. Cop pulls you over: Do you know why you are a being called over?


  3. Yes, pedophiles can pretend to be cops. I met someone on a forum whose abuser used the ruse to drive them to his home and keep them quiet afterwards. Im sure there are actual cops who use their power to take advantage of children. The point is to be critical as a child and call 911 to make sure. You would be connected to an operator who can help you and, if the man really is a cop, he should want you to contact authorities to get the help you need. If he really is a god damn cop he should lend you his phone, or direct you to one nearby so that the kid feels safe. Children won't know how to tell if someone really is a cop, or sometimes even if they're in danger in the first place. There are adults out there who have a hard time telling when a cop is fake or crooked. Because being raised to blindly trust anyone in a uniform is dangerous.
    I swear the amount of twelve year olds in these comments dying for an opportunity to kiss jacks ass and ridicule something at the same time is disgusting. And some of them even think that calling 911 connects you directly with the police. Which gives me the impression that they don't have experience with tragedy yet, and I hope to god nobody with a badge finds them when they're alone. Running into a pedophile is traumatic, and it messes up your whole life. Sometimes it doesn't even hit you until years after the fact. It's a serious god damn topic, and jack understands that. Don't undermine it just because someone tries to warn you about what could be out there, and your little kid brain wants to deny and mock tragedy.

  4. When memes take over your life
    Random person: cuts a cucumber
    Me: bursts through the window wearings a Conner cosplay 28 STAB WOUNDS!!

  5. React to a video called 40 undertale memes just to let you know there are some AUs in there you might not know what they are but I recommend you search up inktale errortale and underswap to name a few

  6. Let's be real though, the first clip was at least trying to teach children about stranger danger while still being innocent enough to not scare them too badly. I say A for attempted effort. Plus I watched a lot of NEST videos growing up, so I'm biased…

  7. Connor : you know what's funnier than 27 stab wounds?
    Deviant : wha—–
    Connor : (SLAMS TABLE) 28 STAB WOUNDS you didn't want to leave him a chance hUuuUh ?!?!

  8. We were never prepared for bongo cats it’s like everyone who didn’t know there was a sans fight in Undertale and then it hit them

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