Laughter is the Best Medicine

4 Movie Curses With Unexpected Upsides – After Hours

Look, we don’t have to get into a thing Look around you, Soren, we are in a thing This is us… in a thing! Do you think she heard me say ‘no raisins’? I mean, she didn’t write it down… What are we talking about?! Sixth Sense I’m allergic to raisins Oh. Specifically, how the curse that the kid has in the film the Sixth Sense, isn’t a curse and would actually be a really great superpower And then hopefully that would open up the conversation for each of you to add your own examples in that framework and then we’d ultimately land on a winner. Me, Daniel So, like, just raisins? or anything grape-based? That was very specific I mean, is that not what we’re gonna be doing? Not if you keep talking like that Ooh, I’ve got one! Can I go first? Mine is “It” Then save it for the end The Sixth Sense- -No, no “It”! “It” is not a curse “It” is a monster that sometimes takes the form of a clown and “It” has origins unknown from before our universe even existed in a dimension called the Deadlights Maybe It’s a dude that existed before the universe in a dimension called the Deadlights but then it gets cursed to be a monster that occasionally takes the form of a clown Then yes No! “It”! “IT”!!!! Help us out.. From “It Follows”? “It”! The STD monster that takes the form of a person slowly walking towards you and then f*cks you to death unless you have sex with someone and then it follows them until they have sex with someone else or it kills them? by f*cking them to death and then it follows you again? Yes! Yeah, that one, yeah Help us out more Two words As many syllables as I know Sex Assassin! Michael, you’re not suggesting that you would become a professional assassin just to have sex with your target so they would get killed by a monster that would f*ck them to death just so you can keep doing that over… Yeah, you are suggesting that! That’s what you’re doing, huh. So the upside of this curse is you get to kill people for money… Or bang people on death row, I don’t know Look, I’m horny, and I want to see the world! You’d eventually get fucked to death by a monster And look good doing it! But no, actually, the monster from “It Follows” follows very slowly sensuously slowly… And, I could figure out exactly how slowly by taking a stopwatch, walking through a football field, and timing it as it follows me Horny makes him do math! Then, when I know its exact speed I can fly to Sweden, see the sights F*ck some sexy murderer And set an alarm for whenever the monster is gonna come… F*ck you to death Oooh-kay, I don’t love mine Someone else go Daniel! Sure, yeah, if you don’t go soon, a monster will show up and pontificate about pop culture you to death Aw buddy, are you cursed? Huh, did you insult a gypsy by stereotyping her Romani people or like, you know, using the slur ‘gypsy’? The Sixth Sense So, the kid can see dead people, right? WOAH, SPOILERS! It’s okay, I’ve seen it (together) Same So, in the Sixth Sense Cole Sear, yes his last name is ‘seer’ can *whisper* see dead people “I see dead people” And then we find out Bruce Willis was dead the whole time and so on Now, if you could, spoilers, see dead people You could talk to them, you could communicate, you could help them with their unfinished business That’s doing a service for the deceased and you can uh, make a little extra for yourself on the side, cause some of those dead people you got to figure, have stuff to give you Oh, totally! I bet for every tenth death you avenge or relationship you fix you know there’s going to be some corpsy schmuck with a shoebox full of cash or a secret horse you can have A what? And I would use that I mean, I’d sell the horse and I would use that money to pay for these meals to perpetuate our pop culture conversations They’re uh …all I have. I know Okay, not to squash my dreams of you paying for all of my future food that will probably have raisins in it But the Sixth Sense isn’t really a curse, is it? It’s just like some crappy ability that a breathy kid has It’s a sense The only thing that cursed him is biology And you’d have to talk to all those people you see that, right? All the ghosts? You can barely talk to the waitress who’s been here three years *scoff* that’s not true *sigh* Mmm. So, people, huh? You’d have to talk to them Somebody else go Pirates of the Caribbean is the obvious one, right? That’s when a monster follows you around singing “It’s a small world after all”, yes? The Curse of the Black Pearl? is basically a free pass on immortality in the first Pirates of the- the- of- the…th- …small world after… oh, goddammit, Michael! Caribbean Thank you In the first Pirates of the Carribean, a bunch of Caribbean Pirates steal Aztec gold and become cursed which is to say they become immortal until they return all the gold pieces You also can’t feel anything or taste anything or experience any of the pleasures associated with life except just existing You look like a decomposed corpse in the moonlight Rude! Buddy, you don’t look that bad. You just need– gaunt nicer than decomposed? You look gaunt! Yeah, but the pirates in Pirates appear undead under the moonlight I mean, they live miserable lives, neverending though they may be I’m aware of all the problems facing a zombie pirate but I can just return the gold and I’m back to normal Keep the trunk right by my front door take out a handful every time I go on some death-defying adventure and then I return the gold and once again I’m free to enjoy the taste of Katie’s sweet raisins Also sex, I get sex again But Soren, what’s your biggest weakness? Too much of my biggest strength. What? No. Blood. Oh, yeah, I guess you could die from too much blood *gasp* Like putting too much blood in a balloon! Or putting too much blood in a zip-lock bag! Or putting way too much blood in a– It’s not just about returning the gold you have to bleed every time to end the curse You’d have to cut yourself and BLEED all over the gold whenever you wanted to revert back to normal *nervous laugh* Ahh, uh, every time? Ohp! There it is, yep, gaunt. Blood belongs on the inside I know it does, buddy. Bootstrap Bill’s son! They use his blood! I could use my son’s- uh, blood. You know, maybe curses are just BAD It’s right there in the name! We can’t come up with a single good curse from a movie then how the hell am I supposed to get an article out of this conversation? Why am I taking mental notes? Why do we go to this sh*t diner that puts f*cking raisins in their f*cking salads if I can’t scrap together some article out of this?! Wait a minute, I just thought we were having terrible salads with friends! Have you been using our conversations for articles? God, I feel so used! You just now talked about regularly using your son’s blood to end a curse Yes, I have to prepare him for the real world! he’s gonna have to know how to break a curse some time And Katie, my only true friends are quality content and its elusive mistress millions and millions of clicks Oh. Well, in that case, The Ring Mine’s you guys. I– I love you guys. Katie, speak on that. Okay, so the whole curse in the Ring is that once you watch Samara’s video you have to get someone else to watch it within seven days or else you’ll die horribly, right? I mean, not f*cked to death horribly but still bad, yeah Okay, all Samara wants is for people to know her story Once everybody in the world sees the video then the curse is broken So just change your article into a video slap a disclaimer on the front of it saying, ‘Hey this is a Ring type situation you have to show this video to someone else or else you’re going to die terribly’ et cetera, et cetera and once they know that the curse is real Youtube will take off with that and you’ll have 7 billion views before you can say ‘no raisins’ This is a bad diner, isn’t it? Yeah, I didn’t want to make a fuss, but there are raisins in my burger Why do we come here, then? It’s not close to any of our houses Why don’t we just go to a bar tomorrow night? Actually, I don’t remember ever being anywhere but a diner Hm. Me neither Have we ever not been… sitting around at a diner making pop culture observations and analyses? …forever? Look, we don’t have to get into a thing Ugh, look around you, Soren, we are in a thing! This is us, in a thing…? Look, we don’t have to get into a thing Look around you, Soren, we are in a thing! This is us… in a thing! Look around you, Soren, we are in a thing! This is us.. in a thing. Do you know if she heard me say ‘no raisins’? I mean, she didn’t write it down What are we talking about? *together* Back to the Future I’m allergic to raisins Huh. We’ve changed so much! I haven’t! Yeah that was like five to seven hairdos ago for me Is it wrong of me that rather than be in this eternal pop culture diner I’d like to be f*cked to death? Yes Yeah. Yeah. Was that a topic? Are the cycles getting shorter now? Mm yeah. Next topic! Hey everyone, thank you for watching uh, some of our eagle-eyed fans uh, like to point out things we made m-mistakes on and we love this, we love our fans. I call them The “After Hours Laughter Flowers” because they’re so bright and they’re blooming and one day, they’ll die He does do that a lot Uh, but they point out things so to get ahead of this story we’re going to issue some retractions of things we got wrong First one, we said in this episode that it was Aztec gold in Pirates of the Caribbean It’s not, it’s not Aztec gold, it’s a completely different kind of gold. Yeah, good spot, Flowers! Mhm. And now, Soren, what are some other mistakes we made in this episode that you can correct? Um, you’ll notice at the beginning of THIS uh, thing that Dan is doing now, he flubbed a- a couple of his-his words there, and got them wrong Where did I learn that from, Flowers? Heh heh heh! I’m so sick! *coughs* I do this for you!

100 thoughts on “4 Movie Curses With Unexpected Upsides – After Hours

  1. Why am I in love with Blonde Katie also Katie with glasses and Michael with a beard for some odd unchecked reason

  2. Wait wait wtf… I literally swore i would never watch It Follows because my sworn rival said he loved it but I had NOOOOO idea what it was even about until now. I must watch this goddamn movie! What? A stalker monster that fucks you to death? Amazing

  3. And if you can see dead ppl you may find yourself getting a bj from a sexy ghost… jhus like Ghostbusters

  4. I hate that the G word is a slur. I love the way it sounds and to me it has a mysterious elegant meaning behind it. I think of a tight knit community of love and craftsmanship. But not everyone feels that way so I won't say it.

  5. So basicaly whenever you wanted to do the black pearl curse, you'd just have to wait til you were on the rag to go on adventures? And then while you were cursed you'd feel NO PAIN?


  6. the character unifying stacking of the hands uplifted trope must die a grisly death on an unknown highway with no
    One paying attention

  7. The Frighteners. Daniel is literally talking The Frighteners. Micheal J Fox's character sees ghosts and cons people for money.

  8. Ok, but the Pirates of the Caribbean one could really work for women. Like, what else do you do with period blood other than throwing it away?

  9. I don't think it follows should be classed as a curse personally I think that's the best way to be killed I would love to be fucked to death I have that much bad luck when it comes to relationships that I have to spike my own fucking drinks

  10. I realized the intro was the same as episode 1 because I have an eidetic memory.
    Just checked to confirm. It's fun to be me. ;P

  11. The Curse Of The Black Pearl can be easily be solved with stored blood or period blood. It doesn't say fresh blood is needed, right?

  12. The It Follows monster just kills them, right? Weren't people dressed after death? How would sex happen? I doubt he's dressing them afterwards.

  13. What about Freddy Krueger? He killed a bunch of kids and was cursed to become an immortal, unkillable, demon with the power to enter and manipulate dreams, as well as murder people to his heart’s content. Not saying easier murder is an upside, but Krueger’s “curse” wasn’t actually a curse.

  14. Problem with the Ring- another person viewing the tape doesn’t break the curse. We are led to believe that but it isn’t true. The curse is only broken when Samara breaks it. After the seven days she simply can choose to kill you or not.

  15. Soooo… We're just glossing over the "Cracked 1958" hoodie are we? Cool. I think I'm the only one alive who remembers who Nanny Dickering is!

  16. The Sixth Sense does weird things sometimes, did they ever explain why that one ghost made him go catatonic and start screaming "STUTTERING STANLEY!!!!!"

  17. Yes. I just watched this again after watching glass. I actually thought that 6th sense could be part of that universe. I mean seeing dead people could be a power, learning secrets and stuff.

  18. Uh, if Samara's video was leaked on the Internet you just have continents full of dead ppl. The you would need the 6th Sense to sort them out

  19. Even though its an old video, noticed in the flashback Siren is wearing a shirt that says Royal Blood, oddly connected to his blood curse topic

  20. Can we all agree that while raisins in the salad aren't very appealing, that the real crime here is that freakishly thick slice of tomato on the burger!?!?

  21. Doesn’t the Curse of the Black Pearl just make you immortal while you have it, not invincible? So like if you get stabbed in a fight, you won’t die but you will sustain a stab wound. And then once the curse is broken, you’re no longer immortal so then you die from the stabbing?

  22. Damn, I'm watching the past episodes chronologically, and Katie is slowly turning into my Ex… At least visually. Freaks me out.

  23. Why doesn’t Soren just use a needle to get a pint of blood once and then use a very small amount or the bare minimum to end the curse when he needs to? It’s still a good curse considering the age we live in now🤷🏾‍♀️

  24. They missed half the point of the Sixth Sense movie, which was the boy's acceptance of his second sight. The climax of the movie was Cole bringing justice to a murdered girl. Such a powerful and sad scene.

  25. Being a vampire is a curse but look at all the super powers you get. Depending on the universe, it's also kinda hard to die.Ill go with the generic ones for an example. Direct sunlight / UV light : Avoid daytime. Stake thru the heart : Really? A stake thru the heart would kill ANYONE. As a vamp youd have a better chance of avoiding / defending it. Silver : I can count the times in real life I have avoided actual silver or seen some. I don't ever wear jewelry / piercings anyway. Even if it were more common it's not going to kill immediately. Just get the hell away from it. Holy Symbology / Invitation to Enter private residence : As in real lilfe there are deterrents and rules where one isn't allowed. Same thing here, with just some pain. Get the hell away from it. Blood : Most think they get me on this one. Really? I have to have blood to survive. More specifically, human? Now you might be thinking yeah dude 7 billion people including children. No prob! There is ALWAYS someone that deserves death. The last one is the darkest part of my work arounds, but hey! You think society is going to be alarmed and go on the hunt because a convicted child rapist has gone missing or even more carelessly, found dead in their home drained of blood? Worst case scenario that would start some kind of organization that investigates alleged supernatural murders and then I may even end up with a nemesis. A nemesis hunting me to stop me from killing the types of people like I mentioned? Who's actually the REAL MONSTER?

  26. But you wouldn't feel the the bloodletting from Pirates because when you are cursed you don't feel anything. You could also get enough blood by pricking a finger

  27. I'm surprised they didn't cover Dr. Manhattan's cursed existence. And yes, it's a curse what he's dealing with. He has lost all sense of his identity and immortality to become a lonely, immortal god. He is incapable of feeling human emotions, he is so far advanced in abilities and powers that he is seen is nothing but a threat or a potential weapon, and he will never have a normal life again.
    But looking at the curse another way, here's the thing; he is a god. The only god, as far as we know. He could unmake existence and recreate it into the Garden of Eden without the snake, if you're inclined to believe in the Bible. He could wipe the toxic human race out and replace it with a human race that has reached its full potential. He could even create more immortal beings, assuming that he has no limitations to his abilities (and AFAIK, the graphic novel never mentions things he can't do).

  28. Couldn't you just store your own blood in a fridge someplace, then just squirt a bit on the Aztec gold when you want to turn back again. Seems like it's probably the easiestly exploited of the curses.

  29. These creatures have wet dreams about bowls sugared cereals, pajamas, and scoobydoo cartoons! Infantile minds in adult bodies. They are abominations!!!

  30. It's never confirmed that the monster from "It Follows" kills them through fucking to death. Like, at all. Doesn't it just vaguely kill them? They added a lot of extras on that one

  31. And Katie calling out Daniel for saying the word Gypsy in a different video in a different series all holier-than-thou, while at the same time using the word, lol~

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