*cue suspenseful music* Yzma: Pull the Lever, Kronk! Kronk you dumb fuck! Ritaaa!!! Nobody can Drag mE dOWn Nobody! Nobody! UGH! Nobody can drag me DOWN! *Buckle your asses up for the shittiest crack of all time* Ash: We good? Nobody: Ash: Let it begin! *Downs shot like a bawse* Ash: Oh shit I’m already regretting this! Jesus help me *Coughs along to Shots!* Alright, Next… Shots! Shots! Shot!Shot!Shot!Shot! Shots! Shots! K I’m bored I’m done writing this part… EVERYBODY! Lemon: Peace out bitch! Lemon: Fuck this! Imma go find Ash’s lemon tree. Cal: Awe! *Titanic Recorder version* Lemon: Whats going on? Lemon: What- Whats happening? No! No! Lemon: NO- Ash: I like the pain! *Slaps game* Ohohoho Ash: What? I have to do this. Calum: Bitch you turn it like this! I have a crush on a f- AGH! iT ZaPpED mE Out OF NoWHeRe! Mikey: *mocking* I have a crush on- AGH! SEIZUREEE!!! Ash: This is not good… Mikey: *mocking* I have a crush on- AGH! Oh fuq… Ash: I have a crush on a fan while I’m doing performances on stage? Nooooo… Ash: Look Im just gonna be honest There’s a very attractive girl distracting me over here in the Orange Dress I can’t talk properly! *to girl in the dress* I’m not gonna look in your direction Ash breathing like a dramatic ass hoe xD *Dramatic exhale* Cal: This is horrible! I don’t like this… I’m Sweatin’ ! *random Pterodactyl screech* ding! Calum: *Grunts sadly* Kind of the verse… started just with those very simple piano chords and then- Crazy Its just a bunch of random thoughts that you can’t really get out of your head Want You Back was the first song we released- imma start using hand gestures now so LOOK OUT! Want You Back was the first song that we released- What do you think buddy? Duck: HEY! bum bum bum Got any- LEMONADE!?! Ooh me press pretty button! Cal: Wait what’d you press- WHAT YOU- AGH! WhAT DiD YOu PrESs!? *Pterodactyl Screech* Ash: Lets turn the voltage up here- Mikey: YOU HOLD YOUR HAND THERE LIKE A MAN YOU PANSY! We’re all in this together! once we know that we are We’re all stars! and we see that, Oh Yeah! I LIKE THE PAIN! Strike Scream and Run. Alright, lets try it. *Boys screaming like Banshees* *Splat* Luke: AGH That may have been my fault. If me and you are living in the same place- Why do we feel alone- WooAaOH! feel alone- WOAAOH! *lyrics to Best Friend* Peter don’t! They say, if you watch that video, you die! Ah, thats a lot of Bologna! *static* Calum: Other way- No! Other lead! Ok, this is nice as well… Luke: STILL BELIEVE! Vroom Vroom Bitch! Michael: Ohmygod! Ok its happening! Everybody stay calm! Dwight: Whats the procedure everyone? Whats the procedure? Michael: STAY FUCKING CALM! Luke: Hey uhl, I got a joke for ya. Whats a-uh- Whats a dogs favorite … Artist? Ash: HAH! *CLAP* WOOO! Next question! I wanna know- I wanna know who-o-o-o Michael: Ashton! Go Super Sayan! *VICTORY SCREECH!* Sorry about your ears! ohohoh- My bad. ok Anyways, um… Luke: -in our dressing room Ash: Yeah, we bet- we bet- How much? We should say 20 bucks… Luke: It was a lot. No it was more then that! because I wouldn’t have done that that makes me sound stupid then Sassy Ash: I SAID- I would give Luke $1000.00 It was- It was- We had Greek food And there was like a tub of like, Hummus Tzatziki stuff Like a- a BIG tub Cal: 300 Mil’s *cue breaking bad theme song* It was a lot! And they were li- Ash: 300 Mil’s Ashton was like, “I’ll give you $1000.00 to drink all of that” And then, And Calums like, ” I’ll give you another $1000.00. ” And Michael said, ” I’ll give you $500.00. ” Michaels doing a lot of renovations right now. Thats $2,500.00- -So Luke sits there And he starts praying… Luke: *Vietnam flashbacks of Tzatziki* He goes like this- Trisha Pay-Titties: I love you Jeeeeeeeeeeeesuss I love you Jeeeeeeeeeeeesuss You guys say Colorado! AlRIgHt LoS AngElES We all call- um, Michael The Cliffoconda Or Dirty Cliffo Yeah, Dirty Cliffo’s his DJ name We call Ashton “Daddy” *slaps ass* WHOS YOUR DADDY?! Interviewer: Who here is the worst at cooking? 1-2-3 (to Luke) I said you! This guy makes e- He makes eggs in the Microwave! Only cuz I had to! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE FUCK? AHHHHHHHH *static* *fax machine processing* Now back to our regularly scheduled bullshit Go suck a dick! Suck a Dick! Suck a motherfucking dick! Suck a dick- Suck a huge or small dick! Don’t fuck with me! I have the power of God AND Anime on my side! AGHHHHH *Try Hard playing in the background* Parkour Motherfucka!