Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Accidental Butt Stuff – Sex Fails


The moral of this story is don’t do
your crush’s geometry homework, it will come back
to fuck you in the ass. Now I’m nervous, you know? In high school,
I was obsessed with this guy. He was older.
He was so cool. He was banned
from a Spencer’s Gifts. His name was Tanner Wells.
That’s a hot name. I couldn’t believe,
I get to geometry class, Tanner is in it
because he’s older than me. So what are the odds?
And he sits behind me and he lets me do all of
his homework the entire year. “Are you sure?” Fast forward six years later,
I’m home from college, I’m drinking at a bar with
my friends and who walks in? Tanner Wells, all right?
And Tanner Wells approaches me. It was …
We start talking about geometry. Before I know it,
we’re making out at a bar. I’m in shock. You know people
can see us, right? I think I blacked out
because I was so happy. Also, I had 10 shots of tequila,
but who cares? I was living.
Next thing I remember, we are in a cab back
to his place, his mom’s place. To be fair,
Tanner only lived at home because he didn’t have a job
or any prospects at all. We get to his mom’s house,
we have to sneak upstairs and we get into his room and Tanner insists
we keep the lights off because he doesn’t want
to wake his mom because his mom was asleep, two rooms down
with her door shut. Because that’s how
you wake up someone, right? When they’re sleeping.
A light. So we’re having sex in the dark.
It really was like old times. He was behind me and I was doing
whatever he said and then Tanner decides to off
road into my asshole, hard. He claims it was an accident
and I believe him. I mean, I did
all of his geometry homework. The dude literally
never learned angles. So I scream and proceed
to hyperventilate and just, “Ahh!”
He’s just standing over me as if I’m a dog about
to piss all over the carpet. Like, “How do I stop
doing this?” Finally, I catch my breath
and can breath normally. And I do what any girl
would do, I apologize. And then when I thought
it couldn’t get any worse, Tanner’s mom walks in. Tanner runs into the closet,
I assume to not get grounded. I just cover myself
in his Washington Redskins sheet and hold eye contact with
his mom for a solid minute. I just pick up my shit
and follow her out. His mom drove me home
as if it was a date. We just ride in silence
for 20 minutes listening to the Starbucks
Christmas album. Just as Micheal Buble’s cheerful
Here Comes Santa Claus enters the car,
maybe it was the music, the Christmas spirit,
I don’t know, I just instinctively
give Tanner’s mom a hug. To be fair, I just had anal, I needed to feel something
and I just say Happy Thanksgiving. We never spoke again,
me or Tanner’s mom, Tanner, the whole Wells clan
but I did hear that Tanner Wells is now engaged, so congrats
to the new Mrs. Wells. I hope it fits, the ring. Also, his dick in your asshole.

100 thoughts on “Accidental Butt Stuff – Sex Fails

  1. Welcome to the new Comedy Central Originals channel! Subscribe for Sex Fails and much more: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNVBYBxWj9dMHqKEl_V8HBQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. Poor girl 😨😨😨
    You get really scared when your buddy quench his knob in the last place you imagine…
    Motherfucker 😎😆

  3. Did this women ever see the movie Rear Window and I bet she has a shitty job bend over and grab your ankles shit happens

  4. Miss cue is bad. I remember it happening once, she cried out I immediately pulled away and apologized. She laughed finally and then said with a straight face. Would you like to continue? WOW Being so concerned my brain was getting all the blood it needed, if you know what I mean?

  5. She believed it was a accident, that he went her hole
    Cause he was never good in angles in geometry LMFAOOOO

  6. "AND he lets me do all of his homework, the entire year." Ummmm I'm not sure that's as great as you think it is lol

    No job. No prospects. Surprise anal … and SHE apologises. His mom walks in and stares at her son's naked one-night-stand.

    Okay, this is FICTION. Right? Surely, this is not indicative of what goes through a girl's mind when a hot guys appraches them. Right?

    p.s. NAMING Tanner Wells like that, if he was real, would be a serious ban-able breach of YouTube's TOUs.

  7. My bf decided to surprise f ist me once. Surprise a nal is bad but surprise fis ting is “I think you’re going to have to call an ambulance bc I don’t think this much blood should be coming out of me” bad. God he was so horrible. I don’t know which was worse, that or when he got mad at me and erased my character and game that id put like 400 hours into getting my elf healer built up to where she could devastate any enemy. And she was the hardest character bc although she could be built up to be the strongest character in the game, she started off the weakest. So the first play through was a fcking brutal grind. Total toss up.

  8. I notice this girl puts a lot of her "ex's" names out there. And she seems to not like them, because she had sex with em.

  9. There's no gray area with chicks and anal. It's either "Hell yeah!", or "Don't even fucking THINK about it!"

  10. That wasn’t an accident that was intentional and he did it without asking for consent, rapey dude bros do that all the time and they don’t get called out on it. She should’ve shoved her fist up his shitter and went: ooops I must’ve accidentally swerved while trying to give you a hand job 🙂

  11. Oh my God Hanna, I would have belted him with a lead pipe! Not just once, but a whole bunch of times! How can a guy claim to go off road? Girls, don't ever believe it! I felt so bad for you. I'd give you a hug if you were here right now. I feel bad about it but you sure made me laugh hysterically!!! Could you please forgive me? = ))

  12. How I got here, I haven’t a clue. But when I saw “Sex Fails”, thought it was going to be something totally different from this sleezy stuff. I’m so glad I didn’t hear this kind of filth when I was young. I can’t even BELIEVE how these young gals get on internet for whole world to hear them talking explicitly about getting it up the a**. I don’t get it. What is there to be gained by talking like that? And why do women/girls want to talk like that anyway? Does young generation know that this is abnormal? Meaning, do gals know that talking filthy in public (or public forum like internet) is a very, very recent phenomenon? And that the only women who ever spoke like this publicly were prostitutes? Women these days are always going on about “You’re a sexist!” and, “Don’t objectify women!”, etc, etc. Yet, they don’t know this is self-objectifying?? They are explicitly making themselves out to be valued or judged based on their language and about HOW a dick got up their a**. I give up trying to understand any of it. Trust me….I’m no prude. But, even during our hippie days, there was no way I’d talk to a guy about this stuff. I did my talking dirty with my man in our privacy. Not to a guy / friend who hears it and instantly knows you’re easy. And…HE SCORES! Touchdown! I raised my girls to be “ladies”. I told them they’d get so much respect by men and women both if they didn’t engage in filthy talk…especially with guys! And they were and are ladies as they grew up. And are highly respected, got awesome men to marry. And married into great families (their in-laws are wonderful people who totally respect my girls). I have no idea what kind of man a filthy-mouthed person on the internet ends up with. But, he has to be as much trashy as she is. And what’s with these white women twerking online? Moms even let their daughters do it in front of them and encourage it by them laughing and behaving as though it’s just normal stuff. Parents these days want to be “girlfriends” with their daughters…as if that’s going to keep them young? Acting like teenagers themselves. No wonder there are SO MANY teenage pregnancies and abortions. No thanks! No way would I want to be a teenager or young in these times. They all want to be the Kardashians and show their cleavage and their asses. But, guys, don’t you dare touch her, cuz you’ll be some kind of pervert and told you just sexually abused them. Messed up!

  13. This woman is silly. You did his homework for a whole year… but yet you are surprised that he approached you when he saw you again. Women always want men to approach them, while they just sit back and try to play coy. Of course you are making out with him. You always had a crush on him. Plus, why didnt you take him to your house… or do you live with your mom too?

  14. Tanner still lived with his mom because he didn't have a job……………….

    Yeah the perfect guy to let screw you so you would have NO support if you got pregnant.
    Then to prove how easily she makes bad choices, she goes on youtube and tells the whole world how stupid she is.

  15. Tanner still lived with his mom because he didn't have a job……………….

    Yeah the perfect guy to let screw you so you would have NO support if you got pregnant.
    Then to prove how easily she makes bad choices, she goes on youtube and tells the whole world how stupid she is.

  16. 1 in 8 women enjoy anal. Hanna was surprised , but she never stated she didn't enjoy it. I thinks her butt hole misses Tanner, and she now can't help telling the entire YT community about it.

  17. Tanner is the name of a guy who traps little furry animals and rips off their furs and is so insecure he cannot get it up unless he has one of those little furry animals to rub on.  Angles?  What is that?  Curve ball, four seam fastball, or those arrows pointing a bad curve you better not speed through.  This blonde babe is what?  She needs to be banged and banged right.

  18. Hanna, I have never seen you before but you are a super-funny storyteller. That story would kill in a crowd, and those reactions would be fun to see.

  19. Hanna, that shit is funny!!! You probably didn't think so at the time, but I'm glad you're able to laugh about it now.

  20. All the rest of your videos are not available in my country 'canada' is there any way you'd be able to change that?

  21. Why is it okay to hire queer actors to mock hetrosexual people in their sexuality when we know feminist hate heterosexuality sexuality and see as oppressive to women..

    Just use token hetrosexual people as a bait and switch.. Comedy Central is literally just LGBT now

  22. I thought this was real lol . This girl is quite funny. I would pork her aswell. Btw that wasn't I tend to mean her 'ass well' I wouldnt pork her Ass Well. Nor would I encourage her to rim me. I'd feel dirty afterward even though she'd have cleaned me like a beeday, the sound of her spitting grains of sand and bits of pooh, lint and the like would make me feel like a shitcunt. Especially if I had squirted and my resolve was down

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