Laughter is the Best Medicine

Adam Carolla Prank Calls a Nut Store as Birchum – Crank Yankers

♪ ♪[line trilling]– Thank you for calling
[bleep] Health Foods.– I got a wife that’s, um…[stammering]
Heavyset, I guess would be the nice,
polite way to call it. What’s the best
for weight control? – For weight control?
Um… You know,
that is a good question. – I told her, like,
peanut butter’s good if you want to give your cat
an antibiotic or to rub on your areolas,but it’s not good to ingest.
– Right. I mean, not in
super large quantities, no, ’cause it is
super high fat content. – You guys got–
you got almond milk? – Um, yes.
We also have hemp milk. – Oh, hemp, well,
I don’t wanna catch– I don’t wanna catch a high.
– No, no, no, no, no.
– I ain’t Rastafarian. – Yeah, so, um, hemp is kind of
like the cousin to marijuana, and you don’t get any kind of
psychoactive effects from hemp. – When I was in ‘Nam,
one brother, he smoked the weed
from the end of a shotgun. – [laughs]
That’s creative. – Oho, I’ve seen bongs
made out of human skulls, so I don’t wanna
go re-live that. – Yes, uh, understandable. – You show me a CBD bottle,
I hear helicopter blades. – But you can’t–you cannot get
high from hemp, I promise you. It’s proven
and backed by science. – All right, ’cause I don’t
wanna be kicking the hacky sack and chasing that dragon
all afternoon. – [giggles] – You guys do golden beets? – Um, we don’t have
golden beets. I know we have, like,
some beetroot powder. – Can I tell you
something quickly? – Well, I–we are
starting to get kind of a line of customers
in here, and it’s just me
and my other co-worker.– Yeah, I made
a beet powder smoothie,
and, uh, about ten hours later, I was on the pot,
doing my business. Looked down… Looked like “Rosemary’s Baby”
in that toilet.Now that’s happened
to the best of us, right?
– Yeah.
– Right. So here’s my little invention, and this could make you a real
hit at the Whole Foods store. It’s a birch and beet bracelet.
Give ’em a little– You know, like the Live Strong
Lance Armstrong bracelet? This is just a purple bracelet. You’re sitting on the commode, you look down
at your handiwork, you think you’ve had
a prolapsed anus, and all of a sudden,
you look at your bracelet, and you go, “Oh, oh,
that’s right, I had beets 9 to 11 hours ago.”
Sweet idea. – That is, actually.
– All right.
All right, let me explain
my garlic poncho to you. – Sir, I do have to go,
unless you had any, like, other questions
about stuff here. My co-worker really could use
some help right now. – All right, hear me out:
my pinto bean brooch. – Oh, my God.[rock music]♪ ♪[upbeat music]♪ ♪

15 thoughts on “Adam Carolla Prank Calls a Nut Store as Birchum – Crank Yankers

  1. God Adam doesn't even sound like he has his heart in it like he used to. Hell, he sounds like he's constantly gargling.

  2. Anyone that doesn’t Luv Birchum is crazy. The over weight kid with the cooler on his head still keeps me laughing 😂

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