♪ ♪[line trilling]– Thank you for calling
[bleep] Health Foods.– I got a wife that’s, um…[stammering]
Heavyset, I guess would be the nice,
polite way to call it. What’s the best
for weight control? – For weight control?
Um… You know,
that is a good question. – I told her, like,
peanut butter’s good if you want to give your cat
an antibiotic or to rub on your areolas,but it’s not good to ingest.
– Right. I mean, not in
super large quantities, no, ’cause it is
super high fat content. – You guys got–
you got almond milk? – Um, yes.
We also have hemp milk. – Oh, hemp, well,
I don’t wanna catch– I don’t wanna catch a high.
– No, no, no, no, no.– I ain’t Rastafarian. – Yeah, so, um, hemp is kind of
like the cousin to marijuana, and you don’t get any kind of
psychoactive effects from hemp. – When I was in ‘Nam,
one brother, he smoked the weed
from the end of a shotgun. – [laughs]
That’s creative. – Oho, I’ve seen bongs
made out of human skulls, so I don’t wanna
go re-live that. – Yes, uh, understandable. – You show me a CBD bottle,
I hear helicopter blades. – But you can’t–you cannot get
high from hemp, I promise you. It’s proven
and backed by science. – All right, ’cause I don’t
wanna be kicking the hacky sack and chasing that dragon
all afternoon. – [giggles] – You guys do golden beets? – Um, we don’t have
golden beets. I know we have, like,
some beetroot powder. – Can I tell you
something quickly? – Well, I–we are
starting to get kind of a line of customers
in here, and it’s just me
and my other co-worker.– Yeah, I made
a beet powder smoothie,and, uh, about ten hours later, I was on the pot,
doing my business. Looked down… Looked like “Rosemary’s Baby”
in that toilet.Now that’s happened
to the best of us, right?– Yeah.
– Right. So here’s my little invention, and this could make you a real
hit at the Whole Foods store. It’s a birch and beet bracelet.
Give ’em a little– You know, like the Live Strong
Lance Armstrong bracelet? This is just a purple bracelet. You’re sitting on the commode, you look down
at your handiwork, you think you’ve had
a prolapsed anus, and all of a sudden,
you look at your bracelet, and you go, “Oh, oh,
that’s right, I had beets 9 to 11 hours ago.”
Sweet idea. – That is, actually.
– All right.All right, let me explain
my garlic poncho to you. – Sir, I do have to go,
unless you had any, like, other questions
about stuff here. My co-worker really could use
some help right now. – All right, hear me out:
my pinto bean brooch. – Oh, my God.[rock music]♪ ♪[upbeat music]♪ ♪