Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Al Capone Hid the Fact That He Was a Moron (feat. Joe Lo Truglio)


– OH, YEAH.
– WHY DON’T YOU DO A LITTLE REFILL? – WHEN I MOVED TO CHICAGO,
I STARTED, LIKE– OH, I WENT TO A PLACE,
THE OLD–THE GREEN MILL, AND YOU COULD SIT
AT AL CAPONE’S BOOTH, WHERE YOU COULD SEE
BOTH ENTRANCES. AND THE BARTENDER–
MY FRIEND RAN A PLACE, HE’D BE LIKE,
OH, LOOK BEHIND THE BAR, HERE’S TUNNELS–THERE’S TUNNELS
WHERE AL CAPONE USED TO GO. IT’S NOT SO MUCH
THAT HE JUST WAS RUTHLESSLY
KILLED PEOPLE, BUT HE WAS DUMB.
– [laughs] – HELLO, TODAY WE’RE GONNA TALK
ABOUT ALPHONSE CAPONE, A HOT-DOGGY-LIPPED
GANGSTER. [both chuckling] AL CAPONE WENT TO CHICAGO. WE’VE GOT MORE GUNS
AND MORE GUYS, MORE MONEY, AND FASTER CARS. SO IT WAS JUST LIKE,
OH, I GUESS WE’LL JUST TAKE OVER
THE CITY. IT WAS, LIKE,
REALLY THAT SIMPLE. PROHIBITION DELIVERED
THIS COUNTRY TO AL CAPONE, BOUND AND GAGGED. JUST THE LIQUOR
WAS SO LUCRATIVE, YOU KNOW, THAT THE MONEY JUST KEPT
PILING UP AND–THIS– LIKE, BECAME, LIKE, LITERALLY,
LIKE, A BILLIONAIRE. GUY WITH, LIKE, 90 I.Q.
PRETTY WEIRD. HE WAS THE MOST POWERFUL MAN.
EVERYONE KNEW IT. PRESS CONFERENCES
WOULD SAY LIKE, WHY AREN’T YOU
MADE MAYOR, AL? AND HE’D, LIKE, LAUGH. I’D RATHER JUST BE
IN THIS POSITION. WHY WOULD I BE MAYOR,
YOU KNOW? SO MANY RULES!
IT’S KIND OF BULL[bleep]. IT WAS LIKE, THEY WERE LOOKING
FOR A WAY TO TAKE HIM DOWN, AND, UH, HE NEVER CLAIMED
THAT HE HAD ANY INCOME. HERBERT HOOVER STEPPED IN
AND JUST SAID, LIKE, OKAY, WE’RE FINDING HIM GUILTY,
AND HERE’S THE STORY. GEORGE THE [bleep] NERD
IS IN ON IT. HIS BROTHER WAS BUSTED
FOR TAX EVASION, AND WE COULD GET AL CAPONE
ON TAX EVASION. ELIOT NESS WAS A “TREDSURY”–
TREASURY AGENT. HE SAID, LIKE, GEORGE,
YOU’RE GONNA [bleep] TESTIFY. HE DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT,
BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE, YEAH, [bleep] YOU. AL CAPONE IS MORE POWERFUL
THAN THE GOVERNMENT. THIS COMES DOWN
FROM UPSTAIRS. OKEY-DOKEY. IT WAS, LIKE,
REALLY THAT SIMPLE, YOU KNOW? SO, YOU KNOW,
YOU GOT THIS, LIKE, HOT-DOGGY-LIPPED, 90 I.Q.
[bleep] WEIRDO WHO’S JUST LIKE, HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THEM
AND SAY, ALL RIGHT, LET’S SAY
I MADE THIS MUCH MONEY OVER THIS PERIOD OF TIME,
AND I’LL PAY THIS KIND OF TAXES, AND I’LL PLEA BARGAIN,
AND HE HAD IT NEGOTIATED WHERE HE WAS GONNA
DO TWO YEARS IN PRISON. AND THEN THE JUDGE,
THEY SAID, LIKE, WE’RE NOT GONNA
ACCEPT YOUR PLEA, BUT WE’RE GONNA TAKE PART OF
YOUR PLEA THAT SAID YOU EARNED THIS MUCH MONEY
AND BUST YOU FOR TAXES, AND–AND SENTENCE YOU
TO 11 YEARS IN PRISON, SO… WHOA, WHAT THE [bleep]?
I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL HERE? THEY PUT HIM AWAY. THAT’S WHEN THEY STARTED
GIVING HIM LIKE, YOU KNOW, MEDICAL TESTS AND PSYCH TESTS
AND STUFF, AND THAT’S– YOU KNOW, ‘CAUSE REALLY,
THEY KNEW NOTHING ABOUT HIM. OH, HE’S GOT A 95 I.Q.
HE’S NOT THAT SMART. HE’S THIS BIG, WEIRD
[bleep] MOOK. OH, YOU GOT A 90 I.Q.,
BUT YOU SURE KNEW WHO TO KILL, AND THAT’S PRETTY SMART.
[laughs] OH, AND HE STARTED
PEEING PUS WHEN HE WAS
[bleep] 18 YEARS OLD AND HE DIDN’T [bleep] SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT IT. [cough]
SYPHILIS. [cough]
SYPHILIS. [both laughing] HE JUST IGNORED PUS COM–
COMING OUT OF HIS [bleep]. [laughs]
I MEAN, RIGHT? GAH, PUS IS COMING OUT
OF MY [bleep]! WHAT IS IT?
NOTHING. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? I’M GONNA STOP THINKING
ABOUT IT. GOOD IDEA.
[laughs] HEY, AL, HOW ABOUT
ONE PENICILLIN SHOT? NOPE.
LET’S IGNORE IT. AND, YOU KNOW,
HE’S AFRAID OF NEEDLES, AND SYPHILIS
ROTS HIS BRAIN. SOON AFTER, HE BECOMES
A [bleep] BABBLING IDIOT. DO YOU KNOW HE–HIS–HE WANTED
HIS NICKNAME TO BE “SNORKY”? [laughs]
I WANT TO BE CALLED “SNORKY.” WE’RE GONNA CALL YOU
“SCARFACE.” NO, I WANT TO BE CALLED
“SNORKY.” BUT WHEN HE GOT OUT OF JAIL, HE REALLY QUICKLY
WANDERED AWAY INTO, LIKE, A IDIOT WHO WOULD, LIKE,
PUT A FISHING POLE INTO HIS, LIKE,
POOL IN HIS BACKYARD, LIKE, HOPING TO CATCH FISH.
[laughs] I IMAGINE THEY JUST
MADE COMMENTS LIKE, HEY, WHY IS HE FISHING
IN HIS OWN POOL? WELL,
HE’S A SYPHILITIC MORON. SYPHILITIC MORON?
WHAT’S THAT? IT’S A GUY WHO HAS HAD
A PORTION OF HIS BRAIN EATEN AWAY BY HIS OWN
[bleep] PUS. HE–HE’S [bleep] UP. HE’S–HE’S A MORON.
HE’S LIKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD. WOW, BECAUSE HE HAD SEX
WITH WHORES AND GOT, LIKE, A DIRTY DICK AND HE DIDN’T
DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? PRETTY MUCH. THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN,
YOU KNOW, THE COUNTRY, LIKE, LOOKING FOR FAKE FISH
IN A POOL WITH A–HIS BAMBOO ROD. WHAT–WHAT AN IDIOT. [laughs]
HE HAD EVERYTHING, RIGHT? – HMM.
– [bleep].

81 thoughts on “Al Capone Hid the Fact That He Was a Moron (feat. Joe Lo Truglio)

  1. You cannot become what Al Capone became being an idiot. Impossible. The 5 families of New York would of not allowed him to be boss if he was an idiot.

    This dude telling the story has something against Al Capone or the mob in general.

  2. syphilis infections can affect IQ, so it's hard to say that he's an idiot when he has an intelligence test years later showing it's below 100. 95 is within the range of average intelligence btw and it easily possible his basline IQ at a younger age was much higher.

  3. The syphilis didn't help him with the being smart stuff!

    Go easy on AL.
    Hell I sneezed an asshole out of a condom.
    On a Wednesday night!?
    Ewwwww

  4. This is all wrong,A black woman busted Al Capone via his strip/prostitution business for tax evasion.
    Edgar Hoover took credit and ran for office but karma happened.

  5. Love ya Will!!! Great to see him looking healthy and happy.
    If Will Sasso had a mustache he'd look exactly like the big guy from Laurel & Hardy.

  6. Wait… could… you know, that other moron… the one in the WH, orange and everything, with a bimbo for a wife he's bought somewhere in eastern europe… could he be also… have the same 'medical condition'?

  7. I know others have said this in the comments but syphilis affects cognitive ability, and they tested him when he had been infected for years. His iq was most likely higher during his rise to power.

    That doesn’t even take into account the flaws with the iq tests administered at the time, which had cultural and educational biases. Al Capone was most likely not exposed to certain concepts and ways of thinking that would have helped his score.

    At the end of the day, even if he had a lower than average iq, he was a great organizer and had the necessary skills to run an organized crime syndicate, that was able to beat the law and rivals for years.

  8. 3:06 Al Capone was one of the first ever syphilis patients to be treated with penicillin. But yeah, he still had a chance because before that he could have been treated with salvarsan, which was developed in 1908 or by a malaria fever.

  9. Al Capone was clever……………and fed starving people during the depression………….but he did have full blown syphillis for years at the end so yeah………it was literally eating his brain. No other way the feds got him on anything(he literally murdered people and plenty of people knew and still he was never convicted of anything other than tax evasion.

  10. I use to do landscaping at his once Star Island mansion off the Ventian causeway linking Miami to Miami Beach. It was odd to say the least 🏝️.

  11. He really was only dumb later in life when the syphilis was melting his brain. Other tham tt not a dumb man at all

  12. Capone got slowly a progressively dumber and crazier. Because of the Syphilis. I don't think there was a cure for it when he got it. Certainly not penicillin.
    He started his career as a bookkeeper for the Mob. You had to be good at math and trustworthy to keep that job for very long or else.
    And, when he went to Chicago, his business acumen showed him who to kill and when. In order to take over more lucrative liquor territory.
    The lookout for the St. Valentine's Day Massacre misidentified a man that closely resembled Bugs Moran. Who was the target. Bugs hadn't arrived yet. After the massacre Bugs fled Chicago. Capone ordered it. And, orchestrated it. But, he was in his home in FL at the time. Pretty Smart.

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