Laughter is the Best Medicine

Anthony Jeselnik Will Drop Your Baby | Netflix Is A Joke

– All right guys, listen. Jokes are all well and good. I’d like to take a
couple minutes right now and talk about something
that is important to me. And I will preface this by saying there’s a lot of people right now who say that standup comedians should just stick to comedy and not
talk about anything else. I disagree. I think that standup comedy
doesn’t always have to be funny. Standup comedy doesn’t always
have to be entertaining. Sometimes it’s about
speaking truth to power. Sometimes it’s about pointing
out wrongs in the world even though it might not be popular. So please, indulge me. With all the terrible things
going on in America right now, and you know exactly what
I’m fucking talking about. (audience laughing) With all the terrible things going on in this country right now, the thing that drives me the most crazy are the people who see all
this awful stuff happening and they still flip out
over the little things. My biggest pet peeve in America today, are people who see all this
horrible stuff going on and yet they still overreact to shit that just does not matter. For example, have you ever dropped a baby? (audience laughing and applauding) Holy shit do people overreact. (audience laughing and applauding) You drop a baby in America today, I swear, people hit the roof before the
baby even touches the floor. (audience laughing and applauding) And it’s not a big deal. How do I know? (audience laughing) Because I do it all the time. (audience laughing) In fact, I don’t think
I’ve ever held a baby to completion. (audience laughing and applauding) And you might be thinking, Anthony, how could you drop a baby? You ever held a baby?
(audience laughing) How could you not?
(audience laughing) It’s so easy.
(audience laughing) It’s a two-step process,
(audience laughing) maybe less.
(audience laughing) Should you ask Anthony, why would anyone ever
let you hold their baby? The answer is simple, negligence.
(audience laughing) I love it, it’s a hobby.
(audience laughing) The only negative, the only drawback as far as I’m concerned,
the embarrassment. People try to shame you
when you drop their baby (audience laughing) even though I almost always
make it look like an accident. (audience laughing) That’s why this is so great. You ever do this? You ever drop a baby
(audience laughing) and then scoop it right back
up before anybody sees you? (audience laughing) No shit, best feeling in the world. (audience laughing) You just hand the baby back
and no one is the wiser. (audience laughing) Especially not that baby.
(audience laughing) Happened to me just last weekend. I was at a party. One of my friends came up and said, “Anthony, I gotta go to the bathroom. “Will you hold my baby?”
(audience laughing) And I tell the truth. I’m always 100% honest. I say, yeah, for a little bit.
(audience laughing) Held that baby 30, 45 seconds, a personal best.
(audience laughing) Dropped the baby. Scooped it right back up
before anybody saw me. And it was close, too.
(audience laughing) I had to run down three flights of stairs. (audience laughing and applauding)

100 thoughts on “Anthony Jeselnik Will Drop Your Baby | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. 😂😂😂 how does he do this all the time? as in, you never see the dark part coming. This guy should write a horror/mystery script

  2. Watched the special, really liked it, but his fucking drawn out delivery for some of his bits reeaaalllllyyyy irks me lol. Still a great special all around.

  3. Where are all the offended people in the comments, oh they aren't offended because the woman find him good looking lol. Any other comedian all the female avatars would be 'this is not funny, this is disgraceful' lol

  4. You tell one funny joke and everyone thinks you’re the life of the party

    You drop one baby and you’re never invited again.

    Double standards, smh.

  5. This stale deliver weak punchline shit is trash. all these dumb fucks in the comments praising this clown for this bullshit. Ignorance is bliss

  6. Damn what a set up.
    He let everyone decide for themselves what the worst thing could be, then totally broke that tense feeling in the air.
    Genius formula.

  7. So glad I found this group,, I've been punching baby's for a lot of years now,, I'm just glad I'm not the only one with this hobby!!! I knew I wasn't alone…

  8. I’ve never had to use a condom before

    because she hasn’t had her period yet

  9. I pretend to drop a baby everytime i hold one. The looks on the parent’s faces are priceless. Then they get really mad and it even funnier.

  10. One of my favorites for a long time. Never get enough of his unapologetic style, while continually making points and dropping ridiculous punchlines 😂

  11. He sets it up to get people thinking about politics. The best part is both leftists and right think he's taking their side…then he drops babies! Hahahaha! The only babies he's dropping are liberal babies cause we wouldn't let this crazy fuck near our children. Hahahaha!

  12. This guy is so good man. His economy of words, pacing, how he's able to make you think you know exactly where the joke is going and then just hit you with something you don't expect. It's masterful.

  13. Not only is he funny, he's interesting. Where does he come up with this kind of material all the time?

  14. I dropped my brother as a baby. He turned out fine. I got a beating so bad I don't remember anything before the age of 8.

  15. The least funny popular comedian. Must be sucking some consecutive dick. Place him right next to Amy Schumer on a comedy scale. Stale and overrated

  16. I'm not American but shit this guy should get the Medal of Freedom. His a national treasure for the USA.

  17. I dropped my youngest once. Was watching Borat and that crazy scene where they were wrestling naked and then running thru the hotel. It was thick pile carpet. She’s 12 and all good.

  18. He may have the best comedic timing that I've ever witnessed and I don't make such claims lightly. He has such a large variety of deliveries as well, his timing variations are masterful.

  19. I was at my 6 week, postpartum check up (so obviously my baby was 6 weeks old) and my 2 year old was sitting on a 4" step stool (so obviously low to the ground) and holding my 6 week old. I was on the chair, watching (but not hovering) and this lady loudly asks, "Why would you let him hold the baby like that?!? What if he drops him?!?!" To which I replied, "It's ok. Babies bounce." She was really very angry. She had some choice words and stormed off. But seriously, they do bounce, so chill.

  20. This got dark– he lulled the audience into complacency, so they were complicit in the guilt when his actions increasingly grew more psychotic. A very well-crafted, sick joke. It's as if he said, "Oh, you think there are some things too awful to laugh at? Really? Let me tell you about my predilection for dropping babies, deliberately."

    Clever man.

  21. Patients for fuck sake. Anthony jeselnik used to be awesome then he invented the 5min pause between words. Arrogance is funny but I couldn't even watch the special cos it's just so unnecessarily long.

  22. they guy just gets better…. liked him from day one… do not agree with his politics… if people think things are really bad in America we are in big trouble if they ever do……  this country is doing great!!!!

  23. I was 7 and evil. I locked my 2 year old brother in an SUV. We were at a huge car lot looking for a new car. My mom turned to me and said, "Honey, don't lose your brother!" Technically, I didn't lose him. I knew he was in a big, dark car, "over that way." Everybody was freaking out, it was ridiculous! It barely reached 85° that day.

  24. This man for sure practiced how to say baby as funny as he could. The delivery every time he says baby is top notch.

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