Laughter is the Best Medicine

Are You Smart Enough To Get These Nerdy Jokes?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H20.” The second says, “I’ll have some H202.” The second chemists dies. A logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor hands the newborn to the dad. The wife asks, “Is it a boy or a girl?” The logician replies, “Yes.” There are only two hard things in computer science. Cache invalidation. Naming things. And off by one errors. How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce this word. Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry. We don’t serve noble gases here.” He doesn’t react. Entropy isn’t what it used to be. Did you hear about the chemist who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s OK now. Have you heard of the band called 1023 megabytes? Of course not. They haven’t had any gigs yet. A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinis. “You mean ‘martini’,” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it.” Two kittens on a sloped roof. Which one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew. A programmer’s wife tells him, “Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs – get a dozen.” So the programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread. The Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says, “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson says, “But without me, how would you have mass?” It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.” And finally, what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

100 thoughts on “Are You Smart Enough To Get These Nerdy Jokes?

  1. My 16th and 25th teeth just broke.
    Well, at least it wouldn't take too long for the dentist to extract the root.

  2. One time my friend was told to kill himself, he refused, after that I stopped hanging out with him because he became cancer

  3. 1. H2O and H2O2 are two different chemicals: one is safe, one is not.

    2. Technically, it IS a boy or a girl.

    3. In computer science, you start counting from zero, not one.

    4. The chemist would pronounce it as "un-ion-ized", and the plumber would say "union-ized".

    5. Helium (which chemical symbol is "He"), and many other noble gases, doesn't react to other elements.

    6. Entropy explains why things only go in one direction, and not the other way around.

    7. "0K" (zero Kelvin) means absolute zero.

    8. 1023 MB is not enough to make 1 GB (GIGabyte)

    9. …I don't speak Roman.

    10. I can explain this, but the explanation is too long. Have Numberphile fill in this one.

    11. All bread contains eggs, so he got a dozen loaves.

    12. Without "Highs Bison", you don't have mass.

    13. Kleptomaniacs are people who take things literally.

    14. Buddhist monks would like "ones with everything".

    15. Rhetorical questions have their answers hidden because they're too obvious.

  4. He meant H2O too( as well )not H2O2. Water is made of 2 parts of hydrogen and 1 part oxygen 2 parts of each will kill you. See if you can figure out the rest I'm too lazy to type the answers.

  5. Here are explanations for people who don't get it (If I don't get it, please explain to me with a reply, not a new comment)
    0:06 The second chemist said 'H20 too' like 'H202', and H202 is an acid
    0:18 The logician said 'yes' because he said 'yes, it is either a boy or a girl'
    0:26 The simplest way to put this is it was off by one. Google for more details.
    0:34 A chemist would probably say un-ion-ized, but a plumber would say union-ized
    0:44 Helium thought he meant actually serving noble gases, so he was confused
    0:51 I don't understand. Someone please explain!
    0:56 OK actually means 0K or zero kelvin, which is the temperature of absolute zero
    1:01 Gigs is a pun on gigabytes, and you need 1024 megabytes for a gigabyte
    1:09 I don't get this one either. Someone explain!
    1:18 Also someone explain this one!
    1:26 The programmer thought she said 'if there are eggs, get a dozen loaves of bread'
    1:35 I'm not a Christian, so I don't get it. Can someone explain?
    1:45 Man, what is wrong with me? I don't understand this one either. Someone please explain!
    1:51 Getting dumber and dumber… not a Buddhist, so don't get it. Someone explain!
    1:56 Finally something I understand! It's a rhetorical question, so it doesn't have an answer.

  6. if mcdonalds thinks they can just not put sodium chloride on my fries, i will argue with them AT OVER 10 DECIBALS.

  7. I'm not really interested in chemistry. Chemical is something different. Add two words and i am totally interested.

  8. can you understand these jokes? how many, comment below

    why cant you trust Atoms?
    because they make everything up.

    The past,The present, and the Future walked into a bar.
    It was tense.

    What Did One Uranium-238 Nucleus Say To The Other?
    "Gotta split!"

    Why Is Electricity So Dangerous?
    Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself?

    What Did The Male Magnet Say To The Female Magnet?
    From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

  9. A programmer's wife tells him, "Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. While you're there, get some eggs too." The programmer never returns home.

    The Buddhist Monk gets the hot dog and gives the vendor a $20 bill. When he asks for his change, the vendor says, "Change must come from within."

  10. The helium one was good, I also like smart jks where u have to work them out, it makes them bet