Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

“As in Kevin” The true AF Online Dating Comedy


Online has turned dating into shopping. You pick one. Use it. Then go right back to the store. People don’t vest in each other anymore. Back home we didn’t have all these options. Options?!? A man holding a dead fish, is not an “option.” That’s HIM putting his best foot forward! You do realize that right? Oh! What about him? “Happily married. Looking for something on the side. Sex five days a week. I’m employed.” Why would your write that? Online dating is like a virus. Everybody does it. All the time. Look at us at work shopping for men. It’s gotten so bad that I brand people with
their profile name, rather than seeing them as an actual human. I haven’t even been asked on a date yet. They all just want to be Pen Pals. Are all guys in L.A. just shy? So shy that they tell you what sex position
they want to see you in. Oh! I’m done with this. Wait! What if “Mr. Right” is on there? There’s no “Mr. Right” on here. There’s only “Mr. Right Now.” Sup ladies? [car crash sound] Nebraska looking hot. Mackenzie’s deleting her profile. Cuz she’s too picky! Ugh! What are you looking for in a guy? Chivalrous, intelligent, funny, has a — Channing Tatum actually. Can you find him on there for her? I just want someone nice! [whistling] [kissing] Let me show you ladies how it’s done. So you like all of those? It’s a numbers game. Eventually one will like me back. Try to get it in. Then I’m onto the next one. Run back to Nebraska where they don’t day
trade people like commodities. I just want to get married and have a family. [laughing] [baby cooing] And I just want to get laid. You see our dilemma here? Speaking of, Nebraska let’s go out Friday! Shouldn’t you be settled down by now? You’re in your 40s Van! Well, according to Spuds over here, I’m
online because I’m “emotionally damaged.” I have an excuse. Oh great. I got a match. Oh! He’s actually kind of cute. You should totally go out with him. I’ll go out with him if you agree to meet
my brother. What about his crazy girlfriend? You mean crazy ex-girlfriend? Okay! But he cannot know it’s a set up. My work is done here. I’ll go out with Diggler and then you can
meet my brother on the D.L. with Mr. “Call Me Magic Mike 22.” Van? Is that it or did you at some point in time? Did you want to get something? Get off your phone! Thank you! Looking good Spuds! Really? Great ass! “91 things I do and do not like about men.” “Don’t: when a man doesn’t bring me flowers.” “Don’t: when a man doesn’t take me to five
star restaurants.” “Do: when a man takes me on exotic trips and pays for everything!” So you…Put a lot of time into that? You give that to all your dates? My boyfriend and I just broke up. I’m sorry. How long ago was that? Two days, 13 hours, and 49 minutes! [coo coo clock] What we had was magical! Magical! And HE knows it! [Mika in background] Magical! What’s she doing here, Adam? She’s stalking me? [pouring water] [breaking glass] Oh! You have another online date? Yeah, last one I promise. Hey, take care of my friend over there would
you? The redhead. Alright. You’re even naughtier than your profile. [purring] I think you have me confused with somebody
else. You like aliens Spuds? Alien sex? No! You can’t be Derek?!? Diggler! [gun cocking and firing] Live and in person baby. So, I want to talk about me. Fill you in on the Saucer Peeps. We’ll get to you later. Hm? You know alien abduction is hereditary? My father was abducted. My grandfather was abducted. You don’t have to eat that. I finish what I start! Check please! I need a whole lot more wine for this. You know what I can do with my tongue? I don’t want to know what you can do with
your tongue! Room six six four. When you’re ready. Excuse me? I’m making it easy for you. Women want me! They just have a hard time saying it. But you said it didn’t you? When you picked this hotel. Ah I didn’t pick this hotel because I thought
that– I could tell until you wanted it! You dirty dirty little birdie. Um…Yeah. Why don’t you head up to the room? I’ll meet you up there so I can freshen up. Now we’re talkin’! Ugh! Oh and uh Diggler? Yeah? Take your clothes off. Hey! What happened? Another bad date? Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m gonna go. Good to see ya. Yeah. Muy caliente Spuds. Hi. I’m uh actually in like a really dangerous
stalking situation… [Mika] Adam it’s only been two days and.. [Veronica]Oh that! Yeah. …And I feel like I can’t breathe! I’m talkin’ you and me. I’m talkin’ hotel
room. Is there something in the water tonight? The waiter keeps flirting with Nebraska. Listen I’ll be so quick, she’ll never even
notice! You first. Then she gets sloppy seconds. I’m way ahead of you. Room 664. I’ll meet you up there. And take your clothes off. Ooo! I like your style Spuds! [disconnected phone auto message] Are you swiping women? No. I was just ah. You were just what, you online Ho? Not only do we have to work full time, cook, clean, fake orgasm, which you have no idea the performance factor that goes into that… It’s exhausting! But we also have to carry around children
for nine months til we get fat old and then you trade us in for newer versions of ourselves. And I get treated like a slut for coming to
a hotel to try to hook my friend up. But I continually put up with your shit because I’m wired to bend over and take it up the– Jesus lady! I was just trying to buy flowers for my mom. Oh! Go mom. Whoo! [hallelujah music] I’m done dating online. I’m Treven, “As in Kevin.” I’m Mackenzie, as in “Spuds.” Like the dog in the beer campaign? That’s cute! Really cute. Rare to meet someone the old-fashioned way, huh? Yeah! Eye contact and a handshake. Who would’ve thunk it? [laughing] Um.. Would you like to get some dessert with me? Elsewhere! Yeah, I’d like that. Yeah? Yeah. How do you feel about ice cream? [crickets chirping] I’m lactose Intolerant. Perfect! Really? Perfect! Oh! [sexy music] [ yelling]

22 thoughts on ““As in Kevin” The true AF Online Dating Comedy

  1. hahaha!! πŸ˜‚ Great work Summer. i enjoyed it! haha. dating sucks…even though i dont do it, (but so does being single sometimes). LOL 😎. sending love to u ❀ πŸ˜™

  2. Haha! So funny and unfortunately true to life! I have totally experienced this using a particular dating app recently. πŸ˜‰ Great work!

  3. This would make an epic sequel to "What Women Want" for this era. This is pure genius comedy!! Judd apatow would love this. This is Boss asf great work!!

  4. Haha Mrs Moore, this is cool!!. As in Kevin!!! πŸ˜πŸ‘πŸ‘. I'm your follower on Instagram; kice_adekunle. I'd really like to work with you one day

  5. At Film Fest LA/LA Live Film Fest 2017 at LA Live Regal LA Live we were so proud to showcase the many films of multi-talented actress, producer, writer, filmmaker Summer Moore, www.imdb.me/summermoore which included The Karma of Happiness, As in Kevin, and The Warning. People loved As in Kevin so much that we held and encore presentation later that evening. We can't wait to see this made into a hit TV series! It was 300 seat theater. Unforgettable Red Carpet with celebrities in attendance, Getty Images, and Huffington Post!

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