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Laughter is the Best Medicine

Awkward Comedy Genius Makes Judges Feel Awkward on America’s Got Talent | Got Talent Global


Hi, I’m Taylor, I’m 26 years old. I’m from San Diego, California and tonight I’ll be performing stand-up comedy an elephant in a fish swimming trunks So far this year I performed in a coffee shop. I performed in the cafeteria. I performed at a laundromat I perform that a pizza parlor. I performed to add a girl’s sweet 16 party at her mother’s Korean restaurant. Things aren’t going well What do you guys what are you guys in for? Hey everybody Hi, how are you doing today? I’m fine. Thank you. How about yourself? Very good. Thank you for asking. Oh good Tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, my name is Taylor I’m a professional stand-up comedian. If you don’t count the fact that my mom still pays my cell phone bills What made you become a comedian what was your school life like well I got picked on a lot I can’t believe it either And I found that making people laugh. I mean the one I take a break from hurting me. I Wouldn’t be here with you guys if it wasn’t for that so god bless everybody That you already make it as laughs so carry on hey, what would you do if you won the million dollars, what would you do? Well, I’d buy everyone in the audience ice cream Okay, Tana, do your thing They say the hardest thing in the world is raising a child I think the second hardest thing is putting a comforter inside a duvet and If you didn’t laugh at that joke, it’s probably because you don’t know what a duvet is I’m not a parent, but I do have a friendly instincts Sometimes like remember when you were little your mom was driving and should have stopped the car very abruptly so she’d put her arm out To protect you and keep you safe. You know, I did that today with Chinese food Apparently I was driving in England My my grandma’s really old I guess that’s how grandma’s work no, she’s like 95 Whenever I talked her she tells me how all her friends are dying as she remains in perfect health. I Figured it out you guys. She’s the murderer And if you didn’t laugh at that joke, it’s probably because you don’t know what a duvet is thank you guys very much. Thanks everybody Lela lela You know, wha You’re very funny brother. Oh, very very funny thing. I was laughing a lot. Thank you. I liked it You’ve got you’re kind of a little bit awkward and I like that too and you’re a bit kind of Strange to look at and I really like that – I do I like looking at you – Howie what do you think? I think you are fabulous? I really do I think that you know, I’ve never seen you before how long have you been doing this almost 10 years almost 10 years It’s amazing that you haven’t and I love that. You haven’t been seen and that we can discover you right here on a GT What’s amazing? Even the way you sound I like your voice I mean when you become famous people are gonna be doing impressions of you. You are very funny I think you got great stage presence. Welcome to America’s Got Talent. There you go I also thought that you were very funny in a very shy and Dorky kind of a way this this is just a character. I’ve I have sex all the time How what did you think You know to me the sign of a true wet Not only for your your material that you had prepared but your repartee with Mel and just now Heidi You’re quick, you know and you you’ve got that kind of mind that can come out here 90 seconds win everyone over I think you’re gonna do very well. Thank you so much my first audition went really well very funny in a very shy and Dorky kind of this is just a character. I’ve I have sex all the time You’re quick. You know, I think you’re gonna do very well. Thank you so much I have two hours of jokes to pick from which is a great problem to have but it’s a problem because I have to figure out Which 90 seconds can appeal to an audience of poor judges or look? I think Taylor’s the one I gotta watch out for He’s the one to watch you ready for this Nick, this is horrible, why are they doing this to me? I don’t know but my dream was to get to this part in the show and now it’s my worst nightmare I mean, they’re gonna have my dreams come true Because of this show or I’m gonna have a day job. Hey guys I missed you. Hi This is a perfect environment for comedy, I’m very confident You’re just talking about that saying how hard it is for the comedians in this kind of setting because you have four people Sure, that’s it. No pressure about laughter. But this is the only time I feel alive, okay, okay Everybody All right, here’s my routine everybody this is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me here we go. Hey everybody I Think he’s really connected with us. He’s really he’s having fun and he doesn’t care How much time do I have left I Was in a box of cereal to the grocery store and my roommate was like you’re so cheap Is it because you’re Jewish I was like no, I’m not cheap because I’m Jewish I’m cheap because I’m poor not everything I do is just because I’m Jewish. For example, I’m circumcised because I’m classy I Like If I ever have kids I’m gonna make sure that they grow up being friends with every color of the rainbow That means no black people Or white people you’re cool. You can come over. Hey, thank you very much everybody. Bye everybody. Bye So much. He was funny. Yeah I was freaking out like it was the scariest it was horrible wonderful moment ever The wonderful part was after they said my name. Hey, hello William. I can’t believe people voted for me. That’s the craziest thing is, uh, People like me, it’s just such a special overwhelming Sister dream come true, and I I wanted to happen again sup guys Thank you have bands now that don’t hang from ceilings, which is pretty exciting SVU my favorite, but I am becoming a heartthrob. Ohm, officially a Heartthrob, I’m a teen heartthrob by I love you so much. I Get it, you know I’m looking for an act that I can go and see with my family. I’m just being honest I didn’t think it was very funny. Heidi Klum just hated me. I Can’t get that out of my head. So that’s why I catered my next performance to the children of America Do you think my comedy is appropriate for children? Like freaking out because everybody on the show so good Watch me on the good show Hey everybody, it’s great to be back here in New York City Hi Heidi, I Missed you too Before I start I just want me know that I really truly do respect your opinion on stand-up comedy and I spent the last two Weeks writing a bunch of jokes that are extremely child appropriate and I dedicate my set tonight to you Hey you guys Heidi and me went to the zoo today anyone here ever go to the zoo before I Went to the zoo I saw this camel had really tiny humps. Hope she has a nice personality Anyone here ever go to elementary school Me too, we have so much in common, you know what they call them number-two pencils that’s disgusting I Like dogs, how come that’s okay, when you see a dog you can go. Oh that dog still cute all the dogs adorable But then it’s creepy when I go. I think that dog is attractive You guys are awkward My friend Markie just got a labradoodle if you’re not familiar with this cutest dog I’ve ever seen in my entire life It’s a mix between a lab and a doodle. I Can’t even make this up a dog’s father’s a four pound of black poodle dogs mothers 60 pounds white Labrador Retriever That’s a huge size difference But I guess it proves a stereotype that black poodles love fat white bitches, right? Okay, thank you very much everybody Thank You mighty glue my lobby Hey everybody, it’s great to be back here in New York City again Anyone here ever have any parents before Me – were like twins My parents were always very politically, correct. When in the few games my brother and I are logically growing up was cowboys and Native Americans We weren’t allowed to use guns and bows and arrows instead. We had to use apology letters and discount vouchers to casinos When I was 16 I was driving my mom’s car and she was yelling at me and I crashed her car into the garage and she was like Taylor You have to pay for the repairs because you’re responsible for the damage Yeah, so now when I get the bills from my therapist I send those to her You ever hear this from your family spend time with your Grandparents find out where you came from the knocking around forever. You ever hear this nonsense? Well, I did this that I found out things I did not want to know I found out my grandma’s parents were first cousins Yeah Family time I wonder what their wedding was like just everyone sitting on one side of the aisle So, where’d you guys meet grandma’s house My grandma’s racist Thank you She told me tailor a paper marry a black person I won’t come to your wedding I said grandma by the time I get married. I don’t think I’d be alive anymore My grandma doesn’t like that joke, she says it’s too dark for her Hey, that’s all for me. Thank you guys very much. Thanks a lot. Thank you Awesome job again alright our toughest comedy critic Heidi Klum How did he do? You know Taylor I thought it was really funny when you said that you send your therapy bills to your mom I’m gonna be sending you mind Is with comedians I always feel so for Klimt and kind of like, oh my god, is it going to be funny Am I gonna be laughing? I always feel a little you know But you’re growing on me You are I’m that was a compliment by the way you were saying like I’m like a fungus on you I would love to be a fungus on you. Thank you Judge Stern, I hope people vote for you. You know, I’m excited that you’re a dear you Know when I envision sitting on my couch again watching the finals next week I I envision you being a part of the six It’s important to have a comedian a comedian who’s experienced in control. You mixed it up this time, too I felt your material got a little more edgy. I liked it. You showed a new dimension of yourself I think you did a great job tonight Mel B You know The great thing about you is your positive and we love your character Howie what did you think you know, it could be honest? Oh, I think you already said enough Very big loudmouth. I want to say something to Mel I want to say and this is the people we see people who sing great on this show We see people who dance great but that’s training what they have to realize as a comedian I said this because I’m a comedian a comedian writes his own material creates his own character shows up here and has Crafted this all by himself. That is Wow We ran out of time man, we would have loved to have heard for how he knows He’s your Marilyn or give you an opportunity to say something. No, see what those Spice Girls song Let’s hear it sing that song To me and say guess what you get to perform the same jokes that you told before Again, and I was like, no, that’s not how Comedy Works you can’t do that I’m gonna get as many laughs right now with an empty audience as I will with the full crowd people who read the joke before Can I sing a country song? I’ll sing a country song. I’ll still want to eat these dances Of Heidi Klum, they’re like for the first time I feel like your material is not family material Maybe Heidi Klum will understand them now Why do you lobsters hate to share? Because they’re shellfish watch. Hey, why do it lobsters hate to share because they’re shellfish So I’m funny anymore why are you guys doing this to me? This is crazy Hey everybody, it’s great to be here in the finals of America’s Got Talent Actually, no, it’s not The producers told me have to come out here and tell the same jokes. Everybody told before called me doesn’t work like that You can’t tell the same jokes twice. They’re not gonna work. The producers promised me Taylor. Don’t worry about it We’re gonna make your jokes bigger and better. Let’s just do this. I have a joke about a camel bring out the camel Let’s do this What is that that’s not a camel that’s like a kangaroo or something this is a horse. Oh god, I’ll just do this Hey guys, I went to the zoo. I saw this camel. It had really tiny humps hopes just nice personality, right? I Hate you Hmm what you gonna do This time in a camel is a person the seahorse costume Oh God how do you say you like me more when I banter with you when I tell you jokes I guess I’ll banter with you. Hi, Heidi. Hi Taylor. I hope you liked my animal jokes I thought you would because you know you were married to a seal What am I doing What is happening? Oh good. Lord. You guys please producers, please? Help me out here. Everyone else. Is there getting lasers? They gave me an orchestra Give me something forth. They had a choir. Just give me the choir. They’re already here to have a choir, please Thank you My friend Mark II got a labradoodle the dogs fathers a four pound black poodle dogs mothers sixty pound white Labrador Retriever That’s a huge size difference but I guess it proves the stereotype that I wasn’t gonna go through and My mom is calm Mom stop calling me when the top section was talented people in America Please pay my phone bill again. Thank you. I Had no confidence going into the first audition. I was just like I’m gonna go out here and do this and Then they’re gonna say we don’t like you then I’m gonna go home and cry. It’s my normal routine, you know The biggest people in comedy telling me that you are doing what you should be doing with your life and you’re good at it I’m working really hard a long time and it’s nice to Have this happen, you know, I’m not crying It doesn’t count as crying as a this long ten-year struggle and this career has not been a waste of time What more could I ask for? besides a million dollars Hey everybody, it’s great to be here in the finals of America’s Got Talent again Hi Heidi, it’s great. I Just forgot to tell you before I had a really great time with you last night and – but you’re sharing this picture with everybody. Oh, well, I forgot to tell you also that you left your lederhosen in my place again Joyce does that it’s so weird. She wants to see me again. It’s what girls do If you ever want to test to see if your girlfriend really truly loves you here’s what you do, okay You ask her to take you to the airport at 5 in the morning And then when you get there, you say I don’t really have a flight I’m not gay sorry ladies I Went out with the girl true story That’s not the laughing part Top lobby part she made me go see a documentary on Stonehenge People are flying from all across the globe to go visit a bunch of rocks just because they were built by aliens Big deal, so is my driveway Yeah I live on Mars Uh, this girl may fight me for being skinny. She’s like, wow, you’re so thin. What do you weigh? Like a buck 20? How there should be for my weight using currency That’s something only an American would do, you know like no one in England’s like? Hey, man, you’re so fat. What do you weigh? like 400 pounds Cuz she’s from England you guys I’m skinny. I have 0% body muscle Worst did ever went on and took the spray off the coffee. She didn’t send me the worst thing. I could everyone here She said Taylor. I really enjoyed spending time with you you reminding my younger brother. I? Said well, I really hope after expensive meals with the little brother you put out Okay, thank you very much everybody thanks, but thank you for laughing at my jokes. Thank you Hey everyone a chin limit winner of season 13 America’s Got Talent You’re watching Got Talent global if you want to see more amazing talent subscribe below

100 thoughts on “Awkward Comedy Genius Makes Judges Feel Awkward on America’s Got Talent | Got Talent Global

  1. Circumcision is wrong. Very rarely does the victim have a say. Do not confuse this! Protect your family from unnecessary surgery. Youtube; "elephant in the hospital"

  2. i bet 90%people dont know what devut is!each time i ask extra devut when i check in at a hotel,the reception like,what?never heard of it!

  3. I don't like this performance nor do I find him funny I find him awkward that's all and I cringe. Anyone else like this?

  4. he is NOT funny at all, not likeable. with stand ups the likes of delis chaponda, this guy doesn't have a chance out there.

  5. Over used jokes for 50 year olds… these are bad and cringing.. in a bad way.

    Drew lynch will always be top notch.

  6. I don't hate all women, I just dis Heidi with the recycled camel joke because it earns me cheap laughs in a competition I will never win.

  7. I watched this twice. The first time I pretended I didn't know what a duvet was, and the second time I pretended I knew what it was. It was a LOT funnier the second time.

  8. You have to understand that Heidi Klum has always had problems trying to make up her mind which side of the flat rock That She Wants to Live on, the DARK elongate side or the pink no nothing roller rink rock an roll side. Without a Afro she is going to have to accept that she is never ever going to be one of the "Supreme Women" of the world.

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