Jack: Alright, Ryan Ryan: What’s up? Jack: What the fuck are you doing? Ryan: Uh, I’m cutting a hole in Gavin’s desk that’ll go right under his monitor. And in it I’m going to insert this little gadget that I wired up. Which is a, uh, it’s a play on the “beep” prank only, I’ve used the vibration motors from a XBox 360 controller so when it goes off every minute or so it’s going to do this: *loud buzzing noise* Ryan: In his desk. Michael: Fuckin’… James Bond over here. Jack: You, you’re an evil genius. Ryan: I hope so. Either that or it’ll set his desk on fire *Jack laughing* Ryan: You know, one or the other *buzz* Michael: What the fuck is that? Gavin: What? Geoff: It might have been my phone Jack: Mmm. *Michael in the background being Michael all throughout the clip* Jack: Hello? Jack: This is Jack. Ray: Oh, ah. Ryan: That took a turn. Jack: That’s not nice. Geoff: What’s not nice? Geoff: *laughing* Why do you suck cock? Jack: I dunno. Gavin: Does anyone have a hammer? Ryan: A hammer? Gavin: Yeah Ryan: Why do you want a hammer? Michael: The fuck was that? Gavin: I want a hammer! Michael: You find one? Gavin: No. Did you?! *Geoff talking away in the background* Ryan: Why, what do you want? Michael: Gavin wants a hammer Ryan: Um… Ryan: I do not think I have a hammer. Gavin: Everyone’s an arsehole. Gavin: I asked two people the same question and both didn’t answer the question. Geoff: What’s the question? Geoff: You didn’t ask me a question. Michael: You didn’t ask me anything. Gavin: Do you have a hammer? Geoff: No, I don’t have a hammer. Why would I have a hammer? Michael: And why are they an asshole for not answering? Geoff: I play video games for a living. Michael: I don’t -hammer- things, Gavin, I used to have a hammer, it woulda been right here, but I don’t have it anymore. Ryan: Isn’t that a song? ‘If I had a hammer’? Geoff: Mhm. Ryan, offscreen: Oh yeah… Gavin: I want to go mental with a hammer. I wanna go –mental–! Michael: Woah woah! Gavin! Please! Geoff: Who slams a desk?! Michael: Babies! Geoff: what are you doing? Gavin: I wanna blow up my desk Geoff: Why? Gavin: ‘Cause it keeps making noises on me Geoff: Blow up your desk? Dude, look at your desk. It’s blown up. Your desk is blown to -smithereens-, man. Gavin: Yeah Geoff: Why do more damage to it? Gavin: I know, right. *buzz* Geoff: I didn’t hear it, what was that? Gavin: That was it. Geoff: I think I, I might have been talking over it. Geoff: Why are you losing your mind? ‘Cause you think you hear a noise? Gavin: Well… Gavin: I can -hear- the noise. Geoff: Alright, let me hear it. Geoff: Let me know when you hear it. *Door creaking as Gavin stands behind it like an anxious puppy* *Michael laughing* Jack: Josh? -Josh?- *Everyone else laughing* Geoff: You’re losing your fucking mind! Michael: Don’t pull your desk apart now. That’s childish. Michael: What are you doing? Gavin: Is it on it? Or in it? Michael: Is it on what? Gavin: On the desk. *Desk crying out in despair* Jack: Oh God. Ray: Please, this would be the perfect- Michael: I hope the desk just cracks, your fucking knee is in the hole, your desk is gonna split in half. Ray: Please give way.
Michael: If I, if I kick the desk I think it’d split in half. Ray: Please give way Michael: WOW! That was close. Gavin: There’s got to be, like… *Sound of gubbins falling into the gub-bin* Michael: Gavin, no! Jack: You just pushed -all- your stuff into the trash. Michael: Gavin, you own those things. Michael: The Queen! Ray: Not the Queen.
Michael: Dude, check the Queen. Geoff: God save her. Michael: What’s up? *Everyone laughing* Ryan: Uh……… Michael: Gavin, Gavin, get a stepladder. *More laughter, people making fun of Gavin* Jack: Somebody get Gavin a hammer. Ryan: Gavin, do I need to call somebody? Gavin: Yes! Call the hammer… people. Michael: –Go find one!!– Geoff: Do we have your next-of-kin listed as an emergency contact? Gavin: Ow! *Laughter intensifies* Michael: Dude, the desk retaliated. Gavin: Is it… in the… floor? Geoff: What are you talking about? Michael: That’s a Wii U, down there. Geoff: That’s a Wii U, dude. Michael: Gavin? *bang* *bang* *bang* Michael: Gavin…? Ryan: There’s actually… falling- shit falling out of it down this end. Michael: Did, did you get it? Geoff: Oh is it that little buzz noise? Michael: EEEEYYY! You finally looked under the monitor! *Everyone loses it yet again* Gavin: Look at the size of it! It’s huge! *Laughter and fanfic writers cheering* Michael: Dude, I -knew- you would check there last, it would take Geoff: Oh my God.
Michael: the longest for you to check there. Gavin: Well- You can’t fit anything under that unless you cut a hole in the table!! Michael: Yeah, exactly. Who gives a shit? Look at your desk. Another hole won’t do it any…
*trails off for this cinematic shot* *Loud buzzing noise* *Geoff busts out laughing again* Geoff: Who’s the one person smart enough in this room that could have made that? Michael: Hmm, I wonder. Ryan: Uh, I gotta go… *One last fit of laughter, video fades out*