Laughter is the Best Medicine

Biden Wins South Carolina, Pete & Klobuchar Drop Out | The Daily Show

Major news from Saturday. It was a very important day for former vice president
Joe Biden. And not just because he launched
his new line of dentures, -called Joe Bitens.
-(laughter) Strong enough to chew
right through malarkey. No. This Saturday was
the South Carolina primary, where Biden desperately needed
a victory, and, boy, did he get it. NEWSMAN:
Biden’s big win. Joe Biden gets
the landslide victory he needed in South Carolina. NEWSWOMAN: Joe Biden trounced
Bernie Sanders in that race to give his campaign
more momentum going into Super Tuesday. Biden and Sanders
are really neck-and-neck in several of these states. Just days ago,
the press and the pundits declared my candidacy dead. Now, thanks to the heart
of the Democratic Party in South Carolina,
I’m very much alive. (cheering) Yes, Joe Biden
is very much alive, which isn’t something candidates
usually need to remind people, -but…
-(laughter) but that’s still okay–
it’s a great campaign slogan. -Take it, man, just take it.
-(laughter) -But… but yes…
-(applause) thanks to the overwhelming
support of black voters, Biden isn’t just in the race,
he’s back to being the favorite. Which is an amazing turnaround,
you know? But that’s-that’s
black people for you, man. Black people can make
anything popular again. Like, think about it.
Before black people, Biden was losing,
and then black people came in, and now he’s back on top. Before black people,
everyone was focused on boobs, and then… and then
black people came in, like, “How about butts?” And then everyone was like,
“Oh, yeah, butts. Yeah.” Now, Joe Biden’s win
in South Carolina was so commanding that it didn’t
just put him ahead in the polls, it got three other candidates
to drop out of the race. The moderate wing of this party seems to be moving
at a pretty quick pace, right, to-to…
to all unite around Joe Biden. Amy Klobuchar announcing today
she will drop out, along with Pete Buttigieg,
and Tom Steyer over the weekend. Both Buttigieg and Klobuchar are now expected to endorse
former vice president Joe Biden. Yeah, that’s right.
First Tom Steyer dropped out, then Pete Buttigieg ended
his historic run as the first
openly robot candidate. (laughter) And we all know that
once a gay guy sets a trend, white women
aren’t gonna be far behind, so then Klobuchar
dropped out, too. -(cheering, applause)
-So… so if you’re Joe Biden,
these past few days are some of the best
of your life. Think about it. For Biden,
he’s made the ultimate comeback, your opponents
aren’t just dropping out, they’re also endorsing you. And to top it all off, Joe Bitens are now the
number two dentures on Amazon. Yeah. Right behind
the Donald Chomps. (muffled):
“Best in the United States.” But don’t forget, things
might be looking up for Biden, but it doesn’t mean
it’s a done deal, right? He still has opponents
in this race: Bernie Sanders,
Elizabeth Warren, and billionaire in
a booster seat, Mike Bloomberg. But the most difficult opponent
Joe Biden still has to overcome is himself. Biden in a good position, but
his campaign is still plagued by more gaffes. All right, Chuck,
thank you very much. Uh, all right.
It’s Chris, but anyway… I meant Chris.
I just did Chris. No, no, I-I just did Chuck. I’ll tell you what, man,
these are back to back. Look, tomorrow’s Super Thurs… Tuesday,
and I want to thank you all… We hold these truths
to be self-evident. All men and women created by… Oh, you know the…
you know the thing. (laughter) Yo. -This is not good.
-(laughter) Just in the past 24 hours,
Joe has gaffed everything, from the name of a TV anchor
he was talking to, to the Declaration
of Independence. And the name thing
on its own is bad, because interviews
are sort of like sex– it doesn’t matter
how well it goes, if you call the person
the wrong name at the end, -the whole thing is ruined.
-(laughter) And I don’t know
why Biden’s still bothering. Like, this is why…
like, my life hack, my life hack is that I just stay
away from people’s names. All right?
I just call everybody “buddy.” Yeah. That way
I can never mess up. Just like, “Hey, buddy.”
“Great seeing you, buddy.” Yeah, and then they’re like,
“Stop calling me buddy! I’m your mother!” And I’m like,
“You got it, chief.” (laughter, applause) It just helps you out. But that-that’s just a name,
that’s a name. Messing up a famous quote
from American history, like, it’s a little worse,
it’s a little worse than some reporter, you know? People notice.
That’s one small step for man, one medium coffee, no sugar. (laughter) Now, I know
what you’re thinking. You’re probably thinking,
“Trevor, “if Joe Biden debates Trump, “it’s gonna be a disaster
for the Democrats, ’cause Trump
is gonna eat him up.” But when you think about it,
it might not be so bad. Yeah. Because… Trump is the one person who won’t know
when Joe has messed up. (laughter) -(applause, whistling, cheering)
-Yeah. Joe… Joe will be on that debate stage
with Trump like, “All men are created, um, uh,
you know the thing,” and then Trump will be like,
“That’s right, -“we all know the thing.
-(laughter) “It was a big thing,
the biggest thing. “Nobody knows things
better than me. Great point, Joe Biden.”
He’ll be like, “Thanks, buddy.”

79 thoughts on “Biden Wins South Carolina, Pete & Klobuchar Drop Out | The Daily Show

  1. How the heck his he going to be able to debate mr trump? I realize he has a stuttering problem, but man you've got to figure out how to speak under pressure.

  2. America really? Are you going to vote in another Creep old disgusting man… Surprises me that SC vote on this shit person, what is happening with black people? When they stopped to fight for their rights?

  3. Goodness, all those misspeaks and no one bats an eye. God forbid Trump says "Kansas City, Kansas", we wouldn't hear the end of it…

  4. Biden will be The kind of president that will launch a nuclear missile to isreal that was meant for North Korea 😂😂😂😂

  5. If Biden wins, it's back to Turd Sandwich vs. Giant Douche again – and Trump is way better at making voters from his opponent not to show up on voting day.

  6. Joe was doing great because he was out of the news, you can’t hide him now everyone else has dropped out

  7. Two friggin senile ppl debating.. trump vs Biden. Well guess this is what America deserves. Just sad

  8. I wish that witch Lizard Liz had half the brains she claims to have, and dropped out. She could still land a VP position. BTW, Tulsi would make a great secretary of state.

  9. Bernie 2020! The only candidate with a 50 year track record of honesty, badly needed and well founded plans for working people.

  10. I wish we could get a debate with the final four on stage so there wouldn't be as much chaos. Maybe then we could discuss the issues.

  11. Even if I were a moderate Democrat, I still would not vote for Joe Biden. I think he no longer has the mental capacity to be a president. He's been losing both his memory and temper, as we have seen throughout his campaign so far. He can't possibly beat Trump, everyone already knows his weakness.

  12. Great 🙄 Here comes 4 more years of Trump. Democrats love losing. Its obvious. Bernie would win because he gets people excited. Many of them people who won't otherwise vote. Biden won't even carry the popular vote. Biden's likeability won't get people to the ballot box. Its a near-worthless trait these days (just look at who's President). All that really matters is if a candidate can whip up passion in people and ONLY Sanders and Trump do that.

  13. If the corporate DNC nominates Joe Biden despite Bernie winning primaries in remaining states, not only Trump will win the presidency but, the whole DNC base will collapse.

  14. Bernie Won Nevada by the same margin that Biden won South Carolina, yet the media is already acting like Biden's win in SC is so much more important…but it's actually completely worthless. The truth is that Democrats will never win SC in the general election. It is one of the reddest states in the union. Bernie, on the other hand, won Nevada. An actual swing state that will matter in the general election. Ultimately it is the swing states that are going to matter. Biden's strong states are mostly red states that the Democrats won't win in the general election. Bernie does better in true swing states. Bernie does better with disaffected voters that probably won't even come out to vote if Biden is the nominee, a la Hilary. Those swing voters that voted for both Obama and Trump voted for Trump in 2016 because they were just sick of politics as usual. Biden represents politics as usual. And his overall campaign performance has been abysmal so far. The DNC is shooting themselves in the foot…again. Democrats always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

  15. Joe Biden winning would be a shit show, for everyone. The man is clearly losing his mind with age, the choice is obvious.

  16. whatever problem we might have with Biden, it will pale in comparison to Trump. At least Biden is becoming senile, whereas Trump is just a fucking retard. AnyTHING but Trump 2020!
    …I'll vote for a shoe if it means kicking Trump out on his bulging ass.

  17. I’m loving this. The next debate has Biden gaffing, Bernie shouting down the one percent lines, Warren demolishing Bloomberg, and Bloomberg cleaning his record with commercials. It’s getting real close!!

  18. BERNIE: America Salvation !!

    bye bye bye Trump, Pence, Hillary, Warren, Bloomberg, Biden … forever

    bye bye bye Chicléts, Marlboro, Cocaine, Heroine, Amphetamine, Crack, Transgenics, Agrochemicals, CIA, Federal Reserve, NATO, IMF, CNN, FOX, ridiculous Sanctions, Invasion to weak Countries, Assassination of Presidents Oppositors of KU KLUX KLAN and World opposition leaders, Puppet Governments, World escalation of hate to United States, hindrance to Free Trade, Nature Destruction, Climate Change, Neoliberalism, Evangelists, Jehovah's Witnesses, Wars, the hunger of 500000 children, suicidal Children, Arrogance, arbitrariness … forever !!

  19. @01:26 …boobs to butts? that is a lateral move. Show me the MUFF and PUSSY. That beautiful triangle between a womans legs.
    The shape. The smell. Oh. My, God. Thats what matters.
    No, really. 🙂

  20. I know he'd be more competent and compassionate than Trump, but Joe's memory issues genuinely scare me. And NC folks, seriously consider voting for Bernie. I wanted to vote for Warren; my heart is with her. But I want my vote to matter, so I have to vote for Bernie as I just don't feel comfortable with Joe's forgetfulness and constant gafs. He's loosing it a bit and the schedule and demands aren't going to get any easier as president.

  21. Pete Puttagied and Amy sold their supporters to Biden the DNC pressure them to Drop out and support Joe Biden or end their political careers.

  22. black ppl want old white man for president?! i was thinking Liza will win
    update 03:30 yeah another man who can speak 😂

  23. 1:24, nothing to do with blacks. Or they indorse stop and frisk, idk. South Carolina, and i think this has something to do with blacks

  24. Trevor Noah is an establishment bitch, the title of this video proves that the Daily Show has become a non-objective moderate show.
    If Jon Stewart was dead, he'd be rolling in his grave. He went on shows like Crossfire to ridicule shit like this and now the Daily Show has become just that thing.

  25. Sanders offers Americans what most of decent countries in the world already have. But I guess the media is strong enough to paint him as a monster. I'll be honest, between Biden and Trump I'm pretty sure Trump would easily win because Biden don't bring anything new.

  26. I'm boycotting late night comedians for a while because the way they ridicule Joe Biden is not funny. Joe has struggled with a stutter all his life. So have I. Matter of fact I hated whenever I had to give an oral report or had to read aloud in class. As a child Joe Biden inspired me. I learned that you are fully capable of achieving whatever accomplishments you desire and to never allow your disability to define your path in life because you are no less than anybody else. Having a bullseye on his back because of his stutter the whole time he was growing up empowered him:

    * Graduated from high school with honors.
    * Graduated from 2 universities.
    * Became an prosecutor.
    * Served his country in the United States Senate and as Vice President.

    And nothing is going to stop me from voting for him tomorrow. Shame on them for choosing to ridicule a man who has had to bury his wife and 2 children.

  27. Bİden is at the top? He won 1 state and he is behind in delegate numbers. Bernie is still ahead in many polls around the country. How is he at the top ffs?

  28. I don’t get this Biden thing at all. Why are we caving to it? Trump 2020? Is that what the DNC wants? And why is Elizabeth Warren being ghosted? No one is talking about her, just three old white guys. And I had thought we were making progress.

  29. Bernie has the popular vote
    Media:''Sorry man we kinda go with the guy with the most delegates ''
    Bernie has the most delegates
    Media: ''Sorry man we kinda go with the popular vote this time''

  30. Racist Democrats have no message. Every one of them with the exception of Bernie uses the "we gotta beat Trump" card.

  31. And of course nothing as predictable as Sanders fanatics spending more time attacking democrats than they do the real threat that is DT. Chill dudes, focus! You are not helping your candidate become more popular with democrats if you spend most of your time attacking them, just because they aren't 100% behind your candidate!
    You don't see Biden/Warren fans turning these comment sections into a sea of flame each time a show host makes a joke at their expense! It's only you who does that. Chill!

  32. It is categorically wrong to say that Biden is the favorite at this time, or that he has a massive advantage in terms of support among black people.

  33. I don't get your system over there in the US. Sanders leads pretty much everywhere, then Biden wins a single state and now is the super duper front runner? How's that working?

  34. This is who the establishment want to run against Trump. This is scary he has dementia they aren't gaffes. Like Julian Castro called it out when he asked is he forgetting.

  35. It's Simple.
    Vote Biden or Bloomberg if you support evil.
    Vote Bernie or Warren if you want to keep evil at bay.

  36. Stop being racist against white people like white women. Imagine if a white person siad the same things about black people. you needa stop

  37. How sad and scary is it, that the two most likely candidates for the most powerful political position in the world are two demented, sexist men who can barely string a sentence together. The US would rather blow itself up into pieces than elect a smart and capable woman instead of a useless man. You deserve Trump or Biden, you stupid, lazy, sexist America!

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