Anecdota

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Binge watching the U.S. Election – Zoltan Kaszas – Dry Bar Comedy


I have been doing adult things like I – last November. I voted that was really cool I did that. I had never done that before which is cool. Thank you. You don’t need to clap alright. That’s fine I know it’s not that impressive. I went in and went buaa That’s how I vote and then they gave me a sticker then I went I gotta sticker That was the whole voting process. I even watched all the debates which I had nev – it was my first season I had never watched the debates before I hadn’t watched the previous seasons. It was my first season I picked a weird season to jump in on (cheering) I was like “this is what I’ve been missing this is crazy” ha ha It was a weird one. But I’m glad that I watched because like I’ll be honest with you guys, I uh It’s good to pay attention because in 2012 I didn’t vote for Mitt Romney Not because I knew any of his politics, but only because he had jet black hair with gray on the sides And I grew up in the 90s, and that’s every villain in every cartoon I grew up watching And I’m like I can’t vote for that guy, he’s gonna poison the drinking water and try to kill the Ninja Turtles I can’t I can’t have that on my watch (clapping) So I watched all the debates Those debates are so funny. The moderator – I always felt bad for the moderator because everyone kept going over their time And he kept going “your time is up, your time is up, your time is up” He said it so many times that to a point, I was like I think he might be talking to the country (laughing) Like he’s not talking to the candidates. That’s a message for us. HEY, your time is up. Head for the hills Get those canned goods in the four-wheel drive. We’re done here So odd We voted. My voting situation was weird cause I voted at my neighbor’s house I don’t know if that happened anyone else that was my polling place was my neighbor’s house Which kind of took the shine off the proceedings a little bit My wife and I we just walked out of our house We walked around the block and my neighbors set it up in his garage It did not feel official like that is not how you pick the next king, this feels wrong. I went in there I put my Starbucks on a stack of like empty paint buckets he give me a scan-tron with a sharpie I went to a booth that was snapped together with cardboard. I just remember looking at my wife going “I don’t think they’re counting these” uhhh Call me crazy, we’re in a garage right now so bazaar I didn’t just vote for president. I voted on all the propositions. I read most of them It’s a lot of reading. I went in with good intentions. The first third I read every line I was like Mm-hmm-hmm informed decision. The next third, I started skimming. There was some skimming that started happening – and in that last third I was just like yes, yes, no, no, is there a “C” I remember in high school there was a “C” if I didn’t know I still thought I did a fine job until we were walking home, my wife is like “Hey, what did you put for the death penalty”, and I was like “oh that was on there” They should have put that higher up We messed up in San Diego question one was like, Hey, Do you want the Chargers to get a new stadium? Number 85, how do you feel about killing people? (mutters) maybe a little backwards You have to be careful with the propositions because sometimes you vote stuff in but it doesn’t take action for a couple years like uh we voted to ban plastic bags in uh, in Southern California, maybe all of it. I don’t know uhh But now it kicked in and it’s weird now at the grocery store It’s weird out there because I don’t have plastic bags anymore, and they sell them for ten cents And that’s what they sell em for now, and I don’t know who these people are yelling at the cashiers, but they are so timid When you walk up you walk up and they go “did you, did you bring your bag?” (quietly) did ya, did you bring your bag? Did you bring it? Did you bring your bag, and I go no, no I didn’t. That’s you guys I bring money you have food and bags. That’s how it, It’s been this way for centuries And then she goes “it’s gonna be ten cents per bag.” It’s gonna be ten cents and I go “okay” I I had no idea I was filthy rich Apparently because it’s not an issue. Like who are these people just yelling “oh really well then just put it back then” “I’m taking my business elsewhere”. Ten cents isn’t slowing me down But I guess since people have an issue with it the next time at the grocery, I’m at the grocery store I’m gonna throw a dollar down and I’m gonna go “hey, hey, hey bags for everybody” That’s gonna be the new makin’ it rain He just came in threw a dollar down and made a tornado motion with his hand Said bags for, he was like the Oprah of bags “you get a bag, you get a bag everybody gets a bag” We carried him out like Rudy. He was our champion So much silliness It’s weird I had uh, I don’t care who you voted for . I’m gonna tell my story anyway. I, I didn’t vote for Trump, and one of my best friends did and we were talking about it Not yelling just talking like people which is weird nowadays And he asks me he goes “What are you so scared of” that’s what he asked me he asked me what are you so scared of and I was like, well, that’s a weird thing to just narrow down I guess the biggest thing that scares me is that historically nothing good has ever happened in this country when the rednecks are happy That’s the part that scares me And I’m not saying that can’t change in the next four to eight years. I’m just saying historically that’s never been the case Historically any time a large group of people go “WOO-HOO” that’s followed by centuries of the rest of us going “We are so sorry” Those people are outta line, I apologize I like it now. It’s been a few months so people are more friendly about it But it got weird there after a while. I blame the internet for that I blame the internet. Because we argue with people you’ve never met before. You know it’s Facebook has taken things away You can’t have acquaintances anymore. Remember acquaintances? They’re people you kind of knew. Hey, his name’s Dave Works at the hardware store. We talk about sports. That’s all you knew about Dave, and you like Dave that way And now you gotta beat Dave’s friend on Facebook, and you’re like whoa-hoo Dave is in the Ku Klux Klan. Uhhh I had no idea I thought he just liked the Chargers but no there was more there was a lot more Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy for even more of the world’s largest collection of clean comedy

100 thoughts on “Binge watching the U.S. Election – Zoltan Kaszas – Dry Bar Comedy

  1. I've never laughed so hard at something political- this was well done. A little historically inaccurate….but whatever. Still funny!

  2. Tried listening to this while at work… BAD MOVE! I started cracking up like a mad man, mate you are bloody hilarious …

  3. seriously. one time a guy said that i was "being so mean to him" after he asked if i would charge him for a bag and i told him "yes, ten cents" like, ???

  4. I LOVED Zoltan's whole persona and delivery. I laughed so many times while watching his segments from man feelings to special needs cats to memory foam beds you can't have sex in, lol. I haven't found many clean comedians who have such fantastically funny observations in a long time…Buying grocery bags in California is gonna be the new "makin' it rain"… bwa ha ha ha

  5. Dude! You lost us! Not only did we not laugh, or even smile, but you insulted the reL America! Bye bye for you! Maybe consider a career you're good at???

  6. Although I don't live in California, I can say that we instituted paying for plastic bags, and Many elderly customers took out their anger on us cashiers because they had to pay $0.05 per bag. (Literally told how dare we and we should be ashamed that they spend their hard earned money here and should at least get a bag for free, not realizing that having them cost is supposed to reduce the amount of plastic ending up in our landfills). I've been a cashier for 5 years, paying for bags occurred at year 3, and I totally understand why those cashiers were afraid.

  7. no matter your political biases, you have to admit that the last election looked like a human cheeto wearing a bad suit and a toupe went up against what seemed to be satan in drag.

  8. Suffolk county NY. Just started this with the 5cents per bag and people are going crazy. I just pay the 5 cents and don't care. I'm not alone!! Lol

  9. My parents used to have thier hiuse as a polling place. The volunteers would show up set up their boxes then leave them afterwords. Literally the only thing I remember because my friends and i would play with those cardboard booths the next day

  10. The Plastic Bag Scam – They charge YOU money to litter the planet with even thicker plastic bags. Most people hardly reuse them and they get thrown into landfills which pollute the land or they find their way into the ocean, which happens more than you'd think. It's a scam.

  11. Yall can never just credit someone without comparing. Just give him his props without dissing other comedians. He's great.

  12. Zoltan, you should look up the vocal band HOME FREE. You look just like the bass singer, Tim Foust! You should open for them! It would be doubly hilarious! Everyone would think you are brothers, for sure!

  13. Without using profanity or humiliating others, he's one of the funniest clean comedians ive seen in ages

  14. I really appreciate him being able to talk about politics in a light and humorous way and at the same time managing not to offend anyone.

  15. Man, as soon as he said “they had that on there” while he talked about the Death Penalty, I actually Laughed out loud. Mainly cause I went in with the same intentions when I voted, and ended up doing the same thing lol

  16. Dark hair with a white streak is villain hair? You mean the hair style worn by Rogue from the X-Men, white Nick Fury, and Mr. Fantastic?

  17. Soooooo Zoltan, may I call you Zoltan? What are your thoughts on bangs? Because I feel that's the only thing missing from your future stardom in the female shampoo industry. Those are some glorious locks.

  18. I know it's part of the bit but people DO get nasty about having to pay for bags, even the people I know can afford it 😭 I was a cashier when it first went into effect and it was horrible. It's been several years and people STILL throw fits about it

  19. I had to put back like 50 items on the shelf, because the guy got mad at the 10 cent bags and stormed off. And I OFFERED TO PAY FOR the bag and he still walked away.

  20. Some people are snowflakes, Don't hate on comedians or people who like dirty comedy, yes comedy can be clean and still be great, but everyone is different and not everyone just wants clean comedy…..

  21. You do realize the Ku Klux Klan is a Democrat creation, right? So your fakebook friend Dave is a democrat too. Jus'sayin'..

  22. California’s equivalent of ‘banning plastic bags’ is just making them cost 50c? That’s not banning, but go off ig

  23. Poison the drinking water and kill the Ninja Turtles! Lol.. almost choked on my cough drop.

    10cents!! It’s only 5 cents here. Hmmm

  24. I’m having flashbacks of his wife telling him not to be hamming up at their wedding..” this is not one of your comedy shows! “ lol

    I know that happened🤣🤣🤣😂😂

  25. Wheeee—hooo! Priceless.

    True about fbook friends. I had to let it go or I would be losing friends. Found out too much about them. I’m talking bout my black and white friends… scary.

  26. Season 1: democrats are pissed that the republicans want to abolish slavery. You missed that season I guess.

  27. Side note there genius…. historically the “rednecks” and the “klan” were the Democrats. The latter were eradicated by the Republicans. Guess that SoCal education isn’t a great as they think… or else LBJ was right when he said “if we pull this off we’ll have those n**** voting Democrat for 200 years!”. Them, and the Californians, apparently.

  28. Based on that very same internet, I’m guessing Dave is not in the Klan but rather just wants secure borders and less governmental spending.

  29. I noticed that all of these comedians look really healthy. That's bc they are not pouring poison down their throats everyday and not puffing on cancer sticks. These are what normal people look like.

  30. I’m a trump supporter and the way he delivered those jokes were perfect lmao. He’s hilarious, I’m so happy he popped up on my recommended!!!

  31. You watched the season you needed to see the late season is when they eliminate the idiots who have no solutions.

  32. As someone from the Netherlands, the whole plastic bag issue seems strange. It's illegal here to give out free plastic bags at stores and most people just bring their own reusable ones.

  33. I guess you were wrong on voting for crooked hillary aye. President Trump is doing great things and saved you for doing your routine in a Venezuelan Marxist type environment. You might be a communist right now if crooked hillary would have won. Hopefully along with Comey and the rest she'll be doing time soon.

  34. They didn't clap because they don't like who won the election so now Americans are left to be mad at each other since they did it to themselves 😉

  35. While funny, he';s way off on the bag issue. Bags were free, both paper and plastic. But the bill was to get rid of plastic bags based on… I'll leave that there. The scam is/was, PAPER, which is recyclable, used for book covers etc, became 10 cents… The money went to the stores for them to decide or keep, not for any environmental cleanup. ..

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