Laughter is the Best Medicine

Bleach (S) Abridged Ep3 – “I Can Hear You Laughing… !”

KISUKE: Hey, if it isn’t my favorite only customer…
[Please keep these CC clean for deaf viewers] Whatzuuup?
[If you want the funny CC, don’t worry.
Just select English (Canada)] RUKIA: Got the Soul I asked for?
[If you want the funny CC, don’t worry.
Just select English (Canada)] KISUKE: Yeah, totally. It’s a
top-of-the-line piece of merchandise. RUKIA: Uh-huh… KISUKE: Well, it’s top of some line, anyways. Heyyy, strange thought, Rukia… We’re friends, right…? RUKIA: That’s random. KISUKE: And friends don’t sell out friends. RUKIA: Is this going somewhere? KISUKE: Well, I’ve just been thinking that… I’m an outlaw, and you’re an outlaw… And hypothetically you could earn some leniency if
you had information worth the Soul Society’s tiiime… RUKIA: Kisuke, are you insinuating that
I’d EVER tell Soul Society where you are? Heh, that’s silly, Kisuke. (Laughing)
KISUKE: (Laughing) Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking… …Stupid thought. RUKIA: It’s not like I’d just, like what– Sell you out so I don’t get executed? KISUKE: Yeaaah, you’d never do thaaat… RUKIA: Like, that’s not something I’d do to
someone I barely know and frankly dislike, heh. KISUKE: I think you’ve made your point– RUKIA: What kind of deranged person
would EVER do something SO desperate? RUKIA: (Chuckles) KISUKE: I get it.
RUKIA: (Chuckles) RUKIA: That’d be crazy–! KISUKE: ALRIGHT! …I can kill you. RUKIA: I know. KISUKE: Do you? RUKIA: Totally do. KISUKE: At any time. RUKIA: Yup. Heh. KISUKE: Like right now – Boom. Dead. No more problem. RUKIA: Boom-dead-got it. KISUKE: No one would miss you. Am I making myself clear? RUKIA: Perfectly. KISUKE: Good. You don’t want to know what
happens to customers who cross me. Have a nice day, Miss Rukia… …my favorite… only… customer. [♫ Masakazu Morita – “Just Bleach” ♫] ICHIGO: If I eat this, my body will
stay safe when I go to kill Hollows, *which I have no obligation to do*? Is that right? RUKIA: Aaaaaaaffirmative! Give it a whirl! ICHIGO: Bottoms up. {SQUEAK} {GULP} ICHIGO’S BODY: Hey there. My name is Kon, and I enjoy strolls
on the beach, doing as I’m told… a n d k i l l i n g y o u r f a m i l y. ICHIGO: Knock it off!
I’m not putting up with any crap today! KON: B u t I j u s t w a n t t o– ICHIGO: Let me make this clear to you: Tomorrow’s the anniversary of my Mom’s
death and I’m in a particularly grumpy mood! KON: Oh, geez, I-I had no idea. ICHIGO: Yeah, you didn’t! So if you so much
as hurt a single hair on my body’s head… …I will rip open my own stomach and
extract you at the cost of my own life! You understand me, pill brain? You understand me, pill brain?
KON: Ye– yes sir… KON: Ye– yes sir… B u t l e t ‘s j u s t s a y– ICHIGO: I said, NO! RUKIA: Gonna be one of those days… ICHIGO: Hey! Don’t make fun! I can hear you laughing. RUKIA: I’m not. ICHIGO: I can hear it… inside… And all of you out there, audience?
You think I can’t hear you? I can hear you all… …laughing at my mother’s death. [whispering] Stop iiiit. TENSAI: Boss, if that Mod Soul goes
outta control, it’ll be bad for business. KISUKE: Well, we’d better go stop it, then. TENSAI: And quickly, before it hurts our customers. KISUKE: Hurts the customers? On the other hand, Antiques Roadshow’s coming on soon. I’m sure they’ll be fiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeee… They’ll be fine. ICHIGO: What are you doing here? RUKIA: Going for a walk, obviously. ICHIGO: In a graveyard? RUKIA: I like the atmosphere. ICHIGO: Oh, conveniently on the same day
I go to my Mom’s grave. RUKIA [acting surprised]: Ooohhh, is
*that* what day it is? I had no idea. ICHIGO: A Hollow didn’t kill my mother. RUKIA: Oh yes, it DID! ICHIGO: Oh. ICHIGO: Oh. My. ICHIGO: Oh. My. GOD. Can you give me a break, PLEASE?
Is my mother’s death not even sacred to you? RUKIA: Oh, please. You’re in denial. It’s a hollow effort. ICHIGO: Did you just make a pun
at the expense of my mother’s memory? RUKIA: Ehh. Comes with the job. ICHIGO: Screw you, that’s terrible! I’m putting you up for adoption! RUKIA: If I’m so terrible, then why do I know a
Hollow is attacking *your* family and *you* don’t? ICHIGO: WHAT?!
RUKIA: Oh yeah; a Hollow’s attacking your family. RUKIA: Oh yeah, a Hollow’s attacking your family. SAIDŌ: Rukia, come with me. I’m here to take ya back to the Soul Society, ya stupid. ICHIGO: Take-her-I-don’t-want-her! Goodbye! SAIDŌ: Now I’m a good guy.
All of a sudden a change of heart. Who would’ve saw it coming? RUKIA: How long were you there? SAIDŌ: Long enough to know
that you’re a terrible person. And that coming from me. YUZU: Ichigo! Help me! ICHIGO: Hwah! HOLLOW: So we meet at last, child of Kurosaki. ICHIGO: Look, Hollow! If we just
talk about this, I’m sure that– How do you know my name? HOLLOW: Do you not recognize me, Soul Reaper? Think back. ICHIGO: Noo… HOLLOW: All those years ago when your mother died… it was I who oversaw her demise! ICHIGO: Nooohohoooo…! HOLLOW: And now I have come
to finish you off, Kurosaki… To end what I started with your mother! ICHIGO: Rukia… I humbly apologize for what I said. AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! HOLLOW: NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Soul Reapers are almost all more talkative than this! ICHIGO: AHHHHH! HOLLOW: You’re a lunatic! YOU’RE INSANE! [Battle sounds continue in background]
RUKIA: Well, what did you expect? You attacked
him on his mother’s death anniversary. KON: And you killed his mom. SAIDŌ: And you’re ugly, like a huge deformed hamster,
whose owners long since threw him away. KON: That’s how we’ll remember you… …as a big stupid gross hamster no one wanted. RUKIA: After all this, logically what else would he do?
Talk to you for 40 minutes? HOLLOW: This isn’t right!
HE’S NOT LIKE OTHER SOUL REAPERS! RUKIA: He’s non-union. SAIDŌ: Non-union? You little leaching scab. RUKIA: What’s this? SAIDŌ: His lure must have recorded
her final thoughts when she died. Let us hear her final words to her son. MASAKI: Dead? Am I fucking dead?! I can’t believe this! That son of a bitch, I ju– was
just trying to save the kid and th– the river, and– Goddamn it! FUCK! SHHHITHEAD! KON: …Huh. SAIDŌ: That was enlightening. HOLLOW: And now… we’re all friends… ICHIGO: HWAAAAH!!! Gwah… GAAH!!! HOLLOW: So long and peace out! ICHIGO: GET BACK HERE,
YOU OVERGROWN MOSSBALL!!! KON: Remind me never to get Ichigo angry. SAIDŌ: Now I must return to
whence I came and file my report. I’ll be wishing you the best as my report
turns you all into condemned criminals. KISUKE [phone]: Heeeey, Rukia. Suuuup? RUKIA: Uh, not much. Why do you ask? KISUKE [p]: I don’t suppose that Mod Soul
I gave you went kinda crazy, did it? RUKIA: Sort of, yes. KISUKE [p]: Did it kill or maim either of you? RUKIA: No, we’re fine. KISUKE [p]: Alright alright alright~ That’s great. One second please… Hey, Tensai. You wiiin. I’ll give you 20 bucks before work tomorrow. TENSAI [p]: Fantastic. KISUKE [p]: Nice talking to you, Rukia. Ciaooooo. [Dialtone] [Dialtone]
ICHIGO: Is-he-laughing-at-my-dead-Mom?

100 thoughts on “Bleach (S) Abridged Ep3 – “I Can Hear You Laughing… !”

  1. The only point I laughed was at the 'talking for 40 minutes' line, but it was a good laugh so I guess i'll keep watching.

  2. Being legit here (entertaining episode still) but that part at the end with Kisuke makes something in my head really uncomfortable. Like there's a subtle background frequency or something.

  3. Has anybody tried using the subtitles? They are perfect! And they also change the names of the characters! So the hollow was first called "furry hollow" and then became "deformed furry hollow" and then it became "Big stupid gross hamster that no one wanted". It's the little things that make this series great!

  4. Nobody would miss you I'm kinda stuck on these abridged I just finished all the dbz and frieza was fucking hilarious. My back is screwed up and all this laughing is killing.
    Ha,how long were u there,long enough to know your a terrible he's non union. Haaaahaha the writers are freaking genius but they lost 3 of them so I dont think there as good like dbs was funny but not as.
    ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT…Ha Matthew mccanahey,idk how to spell his last name

  5. Big stupid gross hamster that no one wanted should be the name of Grand Fisher's brave souls character, if they ever decided to make grand fisher a part of brave souls.

  6. I've never seen one episode of Bleach, but I'm guessing that whole "After all this, logically, what would he do? Talk to you for forty minutes?" bit was a jab at the actual show. Does he like, spend an episode talking to it or something? Can anyone confirm?

  7. 6:21, 6:22 and 6:23


    I dieing laughing and I love that part also I wish he say that in the anime so badly now!!

  8. So, my highest praise was the random and so perfect malsumis joke last episode, probably butchered the spelling there. This episode is definitely the unbelievably well handled and hilarious exchange between Rukia and kitsuke at the start. Honestly, so well done.

  9. I like how Rukia doesn't believe that Urahara couldn't kill her … You do realize that he's a former captain right? And you have don't even have a seat in your squad Nor have you mastered your bankai yet. Pluuuus he's was in the 12th squad soooooo … clicks tongue that would end pretty badly for you.

  10. Im wondering how Kisuke stays in business if hes constantly either A) Straight up killing his customers or B) arbitrarily allowing them to be murdered by products he sells them. unless… the REAL business is more like a hired gun and his "customers" are, more often than not, his contracts? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

    ok. I'll stop now.

  11. I much prefer this Kisuke acting than the original japanese even though I really like the org but i feel this one really fits the character

  12. "And have a nice day Miss Rukia….my favorite, ONLY….customer" DAYYYMMMNN that's some voice acting Keisuke on point and more creepy

  13. 3:02 I did start laughing until he said he can hear the Audience exspecially when he said stooopppp itttt not about his mother death

  14. Ichigo: I can hear you all
    Me: OKAY NO!
    Ichigo: Laughing at my mother's death
    Me: Okay, No
    Ichigo: sstoooppp iiiitt
    Me: Oooookkkkkkaaaaaaayyyyy……………………no

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