Laughter is the Best Medicine

Bo Burnham | Most Offensive Jokes | Voter Choice

Uhh… this is a joke for the fellas Where my fellas at… FELLAS?? *fellas cheer* Yeah Yo fellas, don’t you hate it when you’re blowing a guy And he ends up being a faggot? AM I RIGHT?? Am I right? I’ve been blowing a faggot this whole time?! I’ve been blowing a faggot this whole time? Third time this week. Third time this week. If you’re an asian, comic just get up and say, If you’re an Asian comic, just get up and say: If you’re an asian comic just get up and say, “My mother’s got the wierdest fucking accent” “My mother has the weirdest fucking accent.” “My mother has the weirdest fucking accent.” Then just do a Chinese accent. Everybody laughs at the Chinese accent. Then just do a Chinese accent Everybody laughs at the Chinese accent Cause they privately thought that your people were laughable Cause they privately thought that your people were laughable And now you’ve given them chance to express that in public and now you’ve given them the chance to express that in public. …and the square root of the NBA is Africa in the box. How do you trace a scatter plot? You give the pencil to Michael J. Fox. Guys, I know, alright, it’s fuckin’ brilliant I’m really proud of you guys, that’s as bad as it gets. Well… There’s one more, but this- I wrote this when I was fourteen, so There’s one more, but wrote this when I was fourteen, so you gotta keep that in mind. And my mother said that if I ever played it again she’d kick me out of the house. But guess who’s not here? Save those for, ehhee I said *No need for subtitles* Woo! We used to have all the money and land.. ..and we still do but it’s not as fun now. Thank you very much. Thank you. (Cheerful music) Don’t you hate it when that happens? Alright, uh, thank you It’s called “Beating Off in A minor” Cause math can be sexy Because, having sex is like quadratic expansion- If it can’t be split, then it’s time to stop Havin’ sex is like, uh, doin’ fractions It’s improper for the larger one to be on top Yeah Havin’ sex is like math homework- I do it best when I’m alone in my bed when I’m alone in my bed! Squaring numbers Cause squarin’ numbers are just like women- If they’re under thirteen just do them in your head *Half an orgasm* New maaaaaa- *doesn’t quite finish the word* [Crowd Cheers] This song is gonna seen terribly offensive but uhh- Remember it’s satire And uh Please don’t kick the shit out of me Ok Grab a seat Have somethin’ to eat Help yourself it’s alright If you want a beer they’re over here But we only got Coor’s Light Try a chip with my homemade dip The stuff is outta sight Right before bed we’ll shave your head Good to see you’re dressed in white Cause it’s a Klan Kookoooooooouuuuttttt It’s a Klan Kookoooooooooouuuuttttt Klan Kookoooooooouuuuttttt Klan Kookout Here’s my wife slash sister She brightens up my day She went away and I missed her Cause my mom’s a louzy lay Don’t hang with foreign fellows It’ll only be your loss Stay here and roast marshmellows By the burning croooooooooosssssss At the Klan Kookoooooooooouuuuuuuutttttt At the Klan Kookout Dan’s on lookoooooouuuuuuttttt At the Klan Kookoooooooouuuuuuuuutttttttt And if you’re black- Don’t wanna see your face They’re like a highschool track Just a stupid race We got a plan Kill all the jews Are you a mexi-can? Because you seem confuuuuuuuused señor (Mr) KKK- It’s a Klan Kookoooooooouuuuttttt It’s a Klan Kookout Mein Kamph? Man check that book ooooooouuuuuuuttt At the Klan Kookoooouuuuuutttt “All men are created equal” Man that shit gets me pissed Here’s and idea for a sequel Someone loses Schindler’s List I cook, I clean Cause I’m the hooded host And on Halloween I dress as, uhhhhh, slave owner We hate hispanics Hence the twenty foot walls And all you goddamn dirty Catholics Can Catholic my balls Ethnics give off weird aromas And I can’t understand.. ..why we need high school diplomas.. ..with a bible in hhaaaaaannnddd At the Klan Kookooooouuuuttttt At the Klan Kookoooouuuuutttttt At the Klan Kookoooo*voice breaks*oooouuuuuutttt At the Klan Kookoooooooouuuuuttttt I have Jewish friends And, uh, if you’ll just indulge me for a few minutes She was the perfect woman In every single way She made the sun shine brighter.. ..and all my cares go away Well she waaaassss the perfect woman She was a gourmet chef They say that love is blind Well it’s also deaf Cause Helen Keller was the perfect woman And no one understands Just how talented she was with her hands doormaaannnn God made the perfect woman I was the finishing touch She was the perfect woman She didn’t talk so mu- *doesn’t finish word when he realizes it’s kinda offensive* Tyanne take fucking note She wanted to name the kids So I finally llleeeettttttttt her It turned out horribly Chewbacca coulda done better *Chewbacca noises* But I guess it was alright We had a boy and a girl Just me and Helen Ehhhh Ahhhhh and Earl, yeah oooohhh well, cause Helen Keller was my miracle worker I was her one-man shoooowwwww I could walk around the house naked- She wouldn’t even know Because, Helen Keller was my perfect woman I was her only neeeeeeeeed Well, she didn’t mind the zits on my ass Gave her more to read If you’re really offended you can’t hear it, so You guys tightened up on me That’s what she said, right doorman? Helen Keller was my perfect woman But I don’t think she cared I played this song for her She just sat there and staaaarreeeeddd Well She was still my perfect woman I was sort of a mess I asked her to marry me She said, ” BAAHHHHHH”

100 thoughts on “Bo Burnham | Most Offensive Jokes | Voter Choice

  1. Beating off in A Minor being the title is what upset people 😂 but he clarified! The key not the felony 😏

  2. I don’t think offensive is the right word here. Most of his stuff is offensive, I can see where you’re coming from.

  3. I dont get the "How do you trace a scatter plot?" Joke, someone please explain it to me. I've been lost ever since the first time I heard it

  4. friendly reminder that in beating off in a minor no mines taking his pants off and never put them back on

  5. "There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke." – Michael Scott
    I hope you butt hurt offended people can understand this and get it through your thick skull.

  6. This entire video is fucking hilarious. At no point was I offended in any way. I think we just need to laugh at fucked up shit in order to come together as humans.

  7. I love Bo! But it’s kinda hilarious that people in the us thinks that his kind of humour is so edgy and radical.

  8. «Don’t you hate it when that happens»
    I’m sorry but
    As cringeworthy as it is
    That caught me off guard and made me spit my water

  9. Just because its offensive does not mean the ppl who voted were offended. Just sayin for the dumbass edgelords here. We get it, youre too cool

  10. I love Bo Burnham but im so sorry im not a straight white male… I am in fact a pansexual black female…. IM NOT DEAF OR BLIND OR JEWISH SO…

  11. He is a comedian. Everything he says is a joke! And btw, most of the things he says are supposed to show how fucked up this world can be.

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