Laughter is the Best Medicine

Cadillac Allante owners have no sense of humor

got my mtv jacket my brick phone headed for Los Angeles so a few years back a new show was started called rad wood which is it's kind of a send-up of the good wood principle where you show up in period dress the cars or period-correct where as good wood is for pre-war and just right around that era redwoods for 80's and 90's so you bring your your 80s 90s era car you dress you know wear a collared shirt and pop the collar or wear a mullet and a sleeveless Motley Crue t-shirt you know whatever is of the era so a friend and I said we want to go to this this sounds like something we'd be you know happy to go to and he had just purchased a pristine 928 Porsche perfect for this event so we had made plans we're gonna drive from San Francisco to De Los Angeles a little bit of a road trip we're gonna participate in the show have a great time drive back about a couple weeks before the show he calls me and says I can't go got a prior commitment just realized and he didn't say oh and by the way here are the keys to the 928 why don't you go and have a good time so me being an idiot like I am I can't just go to a car show I couldn't just you know show up and walk around and enjoy it I've got to take a car so I immediately hit the internet searching for what's a cool quirky you you know that era rad era car that I can take and I looked at you know all the usual suspects so Miata that's obvious you could take that mr2 that's a sensible choice I'm dumb so I'm not gonna do that kept looking one popped up in my area in 1990 Cadillac Allante now I've always kept these cars were kind of cool they're good-looking if you don't know the story behind them designed by Pininfarina bodies made in Italy put on a specially made airplane flown to Detroit where they then installed the drivetrain at the time it was touted as the world's longest assembly line and I always have a soft spot for Italian design cars with American drivetrain you kind of cut out all the problems of Italian quirkiness and reliability at least that's the theory and this just hit all those buttons it was red convertible Italian design you know American drivetrain and I thought no one's gonna have an Elan tetrad wood so I went and looked at the car ignored all the faults ignored all the red flags that that you would because the shows coming up paid like two thousand dollars for the car got at home everything worked on it suspiciously so got my mtv jacket my brick phone headed for Los Angeles about halfway there all the freon that they had pumped into the air-conditioning system so they could say it worked leaked out it's fine it's a convertible put the top down took it to the show had a great time was the only Allante there was a great event had a ball drove at home and started thinking well last year at the Concord Ayla moans we featured a marquee and the club came out in force they brought beautiful cars had a ball with it everybody was really appreciative to see them it was the Cosworth Vega club when was the last time the Cosworth Vega was featured at any national event I called them the year before and they made it a national event for all their chapters there was a phone chain an email chain they came out in force we had a dozen Cosworth Vega is lined up at the Concord a limo is California hoods up so you could see that Cosworth head and the gleaming air injector tubes it was beautiful the next day at the Pebble Beach Concours anding there with a few friends who are judges and a few other officials and we're all talking about the Cosworth Vegas and I said wait wait wait look where we're at it was the year they had an Alfa 8c display we're standing in the midst of probably a hundred million dollars worth of cars I said look where we're at and we're all talking about the Cosworth Vegas and everyone went yeah yeah Alfa 8c s but did you see those Vegas I'm like my work so I wanted to replicate that so I called the Cadillac Allante Club sent out a few emails gone on a few online forums invited them and said hey look we you know I'm an owner love the car would love to have you all come out we'd love to feature it and they took it the worst possible way you could they said our cars aren't lemons what is this some kind of joke and that kind of said yeah it is a little bit of a joke it's just you know it's a serious show but it's a little bit of a joke and we're not making fun of the cars there's a quirky story behind them there's a you know they've got a few flaws here and there and we'd like to feature that and they would have none of it I got nasty voicemails back saying we're not gonna participate I got nasty email sent to me saying maybe you think you're smart and maybe from you know someone from California who you are but you're sounding like an idiot to me this is kind of right I even got accused of trying to drive down the values of a lawn tase for some reason which frankly is kind of hard to do they're at the bottom of the curve I picked up a running driving one for $2,000 I think the best one in the world is probably eight or nine maybe ten thousand dollars on a good day so what they were worried about I don't know you know I tried to reinforce it all we're doing is trying to have a little bit of fun we want to show them off tell the story wouldn't bite no way no how just absolutely went round and round and built up to where the entirety of the Allante community was unified against the concord a labonz automotive press picked up on this started running stories about hey it's possible the Cadillac Allante owners don't have a sense of humor some folks that are racing the 24 hours of lemons notice this invite had noticed the reaction and said hey I don't think there's been a Cadillac Allante racing in the 24 hours of lemons so they went and found for cheap which isn't hard to do and stripped it and called themselves the Cadillac Allante jihadi and came out and had signs with the emails printed up in large fonts and you know protested around the cars one does at Lemmons you have a theme and they raced the car they took care to race it easy so that it would actually finish the race and they won the index of effluence which is the highest honor one can win at the con at the 24 Hours of lemons for a car that's probably not gonna make make it to the end of the race but somehow by some miracle does unfortunately I couldn't be at that race but at the next race they brought the car back invited me to come drive it and the goal at this race was to make it not finish the race so drive it as hard as you could outside of doing something obvious like jamming it into reverse going down the front straight or something like that and we raced it as hard as we could and let me just say first off the Cadillac Allante for all its sporting intent and image is not a race car at anything above about 3/10 space when you hit the brakes the rear end gets up and dances around and as soon as you get on the power to go into a corner it goes from this skipping rear end oversteer to a just horrifying power understeer immediately and violently even with a cage in it the body flexes it's just a horrible horrible car at anything but you know going to the country-club pace so we hammered on this thing as hard as we could we couldn't get it to break it lasted the entire 24 hours we even passed it around like a bottle of Boone's Farm at a high school party to everybody that wanted to drive it it wouldn't die it was a lot of fun we're sorry that the Cadillac Allante owners don't have a sense of humor it actually is a fun car to drive it looks good it's a very genteel experience this year we've decided not to feature another car just because of the bad experience from last year basically because I haven't been dumb enough to go buy another car yet and I did I did sell the allanté I managed to sell it after many many months on the Internet it wouldn't sell so I put it in a local sort of a swap meet in a magazine a magazine kind of publication and a gentleman who was not internet savvy saw it and as far as he was concerned it was the only Allante to be for sale in the past decade and you get that phone call when you someone calls you up and starts asking about the car you can tell they've already bought it right they're gonna show up and no matter what it is they want it and that was that phone call says I'll be there in an hour so that I'm clear in my schedule I'll be there bring your cash come on down nobody wanted this car but this gentleman collected older Cadillacs and wanted this one to complete his collection bought it on the spot being a shrewd negotiator he paid me full price for it and drove it away and that's the last I saw of it but if you own one just don't take yourself so seriously I loved the way the Avalon King ceramic coating worked on my Porsche 993 so I was excited to try it out on my lp640 we put a clear bra on the car but then on top of that we put the ceramic coating to make it easier to clean and after a 2,000 mile road trip all the bugs just sprayed right off it works great on my car and you should try it on yours so there's a link in the description below for a discount

42 thoughts on “Cadillac Allante owners have no sense of humor

  1. Call the Jensen Healey club. They love how messed up their cars are. Or the Reatta club, if there is such a thing.

  2. 10K as the maximum for an Allante? On Germany's internet car market there's an Allante for 18,800 EUR which is a bit over 21K USD. The dealer announces it as a "future collector's car" which I guess makes up for half of what he wants for the car. But even from the bad pictures you can tell in which horrible condition the paint is.

  3. Have you tried the Allante's "sister" car – the Buick Reatta? When I was in the owners club, some of them were a bit uptight also, but many of them were more down to earth.

  4. Cadillac Allante’s Sale for over $10,000 at the moment ! You can definitely get one for $4-8 grand but will have issues . I’m a car dealer I’ve been trying to look for this car for 6 months now & even at the auction it goes easy over $3,000 with over 100k miles . Car is great ! But has a small market ! But worth every penny !

  5. 2k for an Allante?! I see them on craigslist for 9k-15k all the time and I'm sure they aren't perfect examples. Sounds like you drove prices up! Either that or Allante owners are delusional.

  6. Here where I live the Allantes sell for $6000 -$12,000 . I bought one with original 60,000 miles for $7,000 . WELL WORTH THE MONEY ! Great car 4.5 is very reliable ! Very luxurious & sporty ! I have a lot of other Cadillacs & Mercedes . But The Allante Has A Special Place That Cannot Be Replaced !

  7. There is a dealer near me He loves the Allantes and has many 6 at any given time $2500 to $4000 and the one at 4k is mint…

  8. not saying you did not get one for $2k – but I am extremely sure that is the exception. And a top one only being $8k? Not a chance. Excellent ones get over 10k without much effort

    I have my own Allante story, though not all that funny. In 2003 my wife (and kid) and her sisters family all get access to a nice house in Marco Island, FL. 4 bedroom house with 3 cars. One was an Allante. My brother in law drove it around a few times and we joked about how it was a great example of what the designers at the time thought the future would look like while being totally wrong. We called it the car of the future. Then we got to a gas station and could not figure out how to open the gas door. 40 minutes later we found it. The only thing that kept us sane was saying jokes like 'in the future you will not even have to fill up your car.

    But is was a perfectly fine convertible to drive around it. Not really sporty, but also not floaty like Caddys used to be. Decent looking, even today

  9. I have a Buick Reatta which is the Allante's more reliable cousin, not my cup of tea but it was my grandpa's and super low miles. Reatta people are the same way, convinced it's on the verge of being super desirable and big $$ lmao. Just another FWD GM bucket, but with cooler styling.

  10. I had planned to bring my Allante to this event but when I looked at my calendar I noticed that I had a bowel movement scheduled for that day. Maybe another time.

  11. To be fair, I did do a quick search and in the Chicago area I found a few Allantes at or near $20k but yeah, they aren't worth much. If those top of the line ones stick around maybe they will be worth a lot more in the future for their rarity of still existing, but as a daily driver (or ex-daily) the things ain't worth much. No ones gonna be fully restoring an Allante any time soon, come on guys!

  12. "No reason why they shouldn't have gone up in value. Reputable brand that is higher status (Cadillac), high-end model, and the top goes down. Worst purchasing decision of a new car that I have ever made." – Allante owner that I know

  13. As an Audi Owner, I nominate the "Allroad Owners Club"……AKA "suckers for punishment club" for the next Concourse D'Lemons

  14. Just so you know… if you're going to call your festival like that at least spell it in a way that makes sense. It should be "Concours Des Lemons" not "concours d'lemons" which makes absolutely no reading sense and is impossible to pronounce. "d' " in french is used only when "de" or "des" is followed by a vowel, because it would cause a repetition almost unreadable… At least that would sound horrible. So it actually stands for "Concours De Elegance" but that double E sounds too bad so we remove one and put an apostrophe. You are actually pronouncing "concours des lemons"…. so you realize that "concours d'lemons" is impossible to say… at least it's very hard, sounds bad and looks bad. Change it!!!! :p

  15. First time I went to Vegas in 1990 there was an Allante at the aladdin up on a pedestal surrounded by slot machines. If you got three allantes in a row you won the car. At the time I thought it was one of the most beautiful cars I had ever seen. So I played the meager amount of quarters I had trying to win the thing. No luck of course but I swore that one day I would own one….thirty years on I still think it's a good looking car but it's no longer on my bucket list.

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