Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Chappelle’s Show – Black Bush


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I BRING TO YOU NOW BLACK BUSH. female narrator:
PRESIDENT BUSH CONTINUES TO MAKE HIS CASE
FOR AN INVASION OF IRAQ. – AFTER CAREFULLY
EXAMINING THE REGION, ME AND MY CABINET AGREE
THAT THAT AREA IS DEFINITELY RIPE
FOR REGIME CHANGE. – A’IGHT? – BUT IF I CAN BE
REAL ABOUT IT– – BE REAL, SON.
– REAL? – BE REAL REAL, SON. – TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER, MAN. all:
WORD. – I DON’T PLAY THAT SHIT. – SAY WORD, HE TRIED
TO KILL YOUR FATHER, SON. – THAT NIGGA TRIED
TO KILL MY FATHER! – WORD TO
EVERYTHING WE LOVE, WE COMING TO SEE Y’ALL, SON. announcer:
MEANWHILE, PRESIDENT BUSH AND BRITISH PRIME MINISTER
TONY BLAIR OFFERED A SPIRITED EXPLANATION
FOR A POSSIBLE WAR WITH IRAQ. – THIS NIGGA VERY POSSIBLY
HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. I CAN’T SLEEP ON THAT. NOT ON MY WATCH! THAT’S NOT HOW I ROLL.
THAT SHIT IS SERIOUS! NOW, IF YOU DON’T WANT
TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, WHY DON’T YOU ASK
TONY BLAIR? HE GOT A WHOLE NOTHER
SET OF INTELLIGENCE. WHAT’S UP, TONY? – WE DON’T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT SADDAM, BUT WE CAN’T TRUST
RANDOM NIGGAS WITH THINGS LIKE THAT,
AS GEORGE SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT. I’M WITH HIM
100% OF THE WAY. WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HE HAS. male narrator: IF THE UNITED
STATES GOES TO WAR WITH IRAQ, WILL IT FIRST HAVE
TO PROVIDE EVIDENCE THAT SADDAM HUSSEIN
HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION? SO FAR, THE U.N.
HAS FOUND NOTHING, BUT PRESIDENT BUSH
COUNTERS WITH THIS: – THE NIGGER BOUGHT
ALUMINUM TUBES! DO I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN DO
WITH AN ALUMINUM TUBE? ALUMINUM! THAT DON’T SCARE YOU? FINE.
I DIDN’T WANT SAY THIS. THE (BLEEP) BOUGHT SOME
YELLOW CAKE, OKAY, IN AFRICA. HE WENT TO AFRICA,
AND HE BOUGHT YELLOW CAKE. – ARE YOU SURE? – YES, I’M SURE, BITCH! I GOT THE HEAD OF C.I.A.
RIGHT HERE–HE’LL TELL YOU! – WHAT UP?
ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU SURE? I CAN’T BELIEVE
YOU MOTHER (BLEEP). THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
RIDICULOUS! ME AND JEB JUST
COMING BACK FROM AFRICA. – CRADLE OF (BLEEP)
CIVILIZATION. – AND THIS NIGGA OUT HERE
BUYING YELLOW CAKE. – FROM THE MOTHERLAND. – ARE YOU SURE
IT WAS YELLOW CAKE? – Y’ALL NIGGAS
DON’T BELIEVE ME, I GOT SOME YELLOW CAKE
RIGHT HERE! LOOK, YOU SEE?
YOU BELIEVE THIS (BLEEP) NOW? – DON’T DROP THAT (BLEEP)! – I KNOW.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT! THAT’S WHY I GOT IT WRAPPED UP
IN THIS SPECIAL C.I.A. NAPKIN. – JUST DON’T
DROP THAT (BLEEP) HERE. – YOU BETTER HOPE
I DON’T DROP THIS (BLEEP)! – PRAY TO GOD
YOU DON’T DROP THAT (BLEEP). – YELLOW CAKE. – (BLEEP) RIGHT. male announcer:
A SENSITIVE ACCUSATION FOR THIS ADMINISTRATION IS THE THEORY HELD BY MANY
THAT THE REAL REASON THE U.S. IS SO INTERESTED
IN TOPPLING SADDAM IS CONTROL OF THE OIL
THAT IRAQ IS SITTING ON. – WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO SAY YOU’RE ONLY INTERESTED
IN THE MIDDLE EAST FOR OIL? – WHAT? HUH?
OIL? WHO SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT OIL, BITCH? ARE YOU COOKING?
OIL? MAN, I DON’T KNOW WHAT– COME ON Y’ALL.
GET OUT OF HERE! announcer:
PRESIDENT BUSH MET WITH U.N. SECRETARY GENERAL
KOFI ANNAN AND MADE IT CLEAR
THE U.S. WILL ACT EVEN IF THE U.N.
IS RELUCTANT. – U.N., YOU HAVE
A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? YOU SHOULD SANCTION ME. SANCTION ME WITH YOUR ARMY. OH, WAIT A MINUTE! YOU DON’T HAVE AN ARMY! I GUESS THAT MEANS
YOU NEED TO SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP! THAT’S WHAT I’D DO
IF I DIDN’T HAVE NO ARMY. I WOULD SHH!
THE (BLEEP) UP. SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP! THAT’S RIGHT,
KOFI ANNAN. THINK I’M GONNA
TAKE ORDERS FROM AN AFRICAN? YOU MIGHT SPEAK 16 LANGUAGES,
BUT YOU GONNA NEED THEM WHEN YOU IN TIMES SQUARE
SELLING FAKE HATS. I KNOW GUCCI
WHEN I SEE IT, NIGGA. I’M RICH. I GOT A COALITION
OF THE WILLING. I GOT 40 NATIONS
READY TO ROLL, SON! – LIKE WHO? – WHO THE (BLEEP) SAID THAT? HUH?
HUH? LIKE WHO? ENGLAND. JAPAN’S SENDING PLAYSTATIONS. STANKONIA SAID THEY’RE WILLING
TO DROP BOMBS OVER BAGHDAD. RICKETY ROW IS COMING! AFRIKA BAMBAATAA
AND THE ZULU NATION. THAT MEANS I AM NOT
DOING THIS BY MYSELF, AND I AM NOT
DISRESPECTING THE U.N., EVEN THOUGH
THEY DON’T GOT NO ARMY. GO SELL SOME MEDICINE, BITCHES! I’M TRYING TO GET THAT OIL– OH!
[coughs] female announcer: THE U.S.
FIRED THE OPENING SALVO IN THE WAR ON IRAQ WITH AT LEAST 40 TOMAHAWK
CRUISE MISSILES AND PRECISION GUIDED BOMBS,
CENTERING ON BAGHDAD. [Hail to the Chief playing] male announcer:
GOOD EVENING. TONIGHT, PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH
IS ON BOARD THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER
U.S.S. ABRAHAM LINCOLN OFF THE CALIFORNIA COAST. IT WILL BE THE SITE
OF WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY HIS VICTORY SPEECH
IN THE WAR AGAINST IRAQ. – [clears throat] WHAT DID I SAY? I’M NOT GLOATING,
BUT WHAT DID I SAY? DID I NOT SAY
THAT WE WOULD WIN THAT SHIT? WE ROCKED THEM ‘BAMAS!
WE ROCKED THEM! [whispering] NIGGA, YOU SEE ME
COME IN ON THAT PLANE? SHHHHOOO. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DAH! announcer:
FOR THE SECOND STRAIGHT DAY, THESE HARD-LINE IRAQIS PROTESTED THE AMERICAN
PRESENCE HERE. – MR. PRESIDENT,
WHEN DO YOU THINK THEY’LL HOLD
GENERAL ELECTIONS IN IRAQ? – DAMN, I KNEW I SHOULDN’T
HAVE CALLED ON THIS NIGGA! I SHOULD NOT HAVE CALLED ON YOU
‘CAUSE YOU’RE ALWAYS TRYING TO DISTRACT
MOTHER(BLEEP)S WITH THINGS LIKE THE WAR
AND SKIRT ALL THE REAL ISSUES. GAY PEOPLE ARE
GETTING MARRIED, FOLKS. YES. NASTY!
IMAGINE THAT. TWO WOMEN TOUCHING
ON EACH OTHER’S TITTIE BALLS, WRESTLING THEM, GENTLY STROKING
THOSE NIPPLES TILL THEY GET
JUST SO STIFF AND ERECT! BLOWING ON THEM. [blowing] MEN.
BARBECUE. “I LIKE YOU.”
“I LIKE YOU TOO, DOG.” “LET’S GET MARRIED, MAN.” IT’S CRAZY! – WHAT ABOUT YOUR–
– THAT (BLEEP) IS GROSS! – MR. PRESIDENT.
MR. PRESIDENT, SIR. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN
THE CONTINUAL UPHEAVAL IN IRAQ EVEN AFTER THE CAPTURE
OF SADDAM HUSSEIN? – WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS, MAN? I THOUGHT YOU WAS
MY BLACK BROTHER. WHY YOU ASKING ME
QUESTIONS LIKE THAT? FINE, I’LL ANSWER
YOUR STUPID-ASS QUESTION. HERE’S WHAT I FEEL
ABOUT IRAQ. I FEEL LIKE YOU GUYS KEEP TRYING
TO DISTRACT PEOPLE WITH IRAQ WHEN I’M FOCUSING
ON OTHER THINGS, NAMELY THE MOON. YES, I SAID IT,
THE MOON. CAN’T BE DISTRACTED. “WHAT’S GOING ON
WITH THE WAR? WHAT’S WRONG
WITH THE ECONOMY?” STOP WORRYING ABOUT THAT!
I GOT THAT (BLEEP) UNDER CONTROL! LET’S FOCUS
ON SPACE, NIGGA. THE UNITED STATES OF SPACE. ‘CAUSE I AIN’T
STOPPING AT THE MOON. WRITE THIS DOWN: M-A-R-S. MARS, BITCHES. THAT’S WHERE WE ARE GOING. MARS.
RED ROCKS! – YEAH, YEAH!

100 thoughts on “Chappelle’s Show – Black Bush

  1. Well, imagine if that really happened in real life? God damn, nobody would trust the government and presidents after that shit. Nobody would vote anymore. Wait, what?

  2. Two things I looked forward to weekly back in the day:

    1. New episodes of Chappelle's Show
    2. New No Limit albums

    LOL. Good times.

  3. I remember when this came out and everyone was saying I wish we had a president like that who spoke their mind and wasnโ€™t some mindless robot spewing the same shit . And now there is a president who says what he wants to and everyone loses their minds saying heโ€™s supposed to set an example and heโ€™s a president he shouldnโ€™t talk like that . People these days lost their minds .

  4. It's a shame The Chapelle Show got ripped off the air by white executives, he was funny and intelligent too. I used to look forward to his broadcast. Dude is smart and hilarious. Still disappointed his show got fucked over. Good luck Dave, you got laughs.

  5. Wait isnโ€™t Comedy Central the people who robbed Dave?.. so now theyโ€™re benefiting off of him all over again posting this on YouTube ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ with ad revenue, even though itโ€™s only one

  6. To bad we all know now he is a closeted right wing rrrrrrrracist. He is just trolling Bush to cement the ruse. And you people fell for it. ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก

  7. Used to work with people of all colors and ages. It was a big, cohesive group who were locked down 8 hrs a day. We would watch Chappelle at lunch when the DVDs came out, or reruns on CC back in the day. We ALL would laugh our asses off. No hard feelings. No "aggressions". Remember those days fondly. Leftist Totalitarian Cultural Marxism, in 15 short years, has decimated our culture. Don't go willingly. Learn for yourself why this happened, and speak out. Loud.

  8. 2019 and we are still in Iraq! Funny how spot on this satire was! Weapons of Mass Destruction was the biggest lie of all time!

  9. All the smart 80s babies and older know that a lot of this shit really happened yall talking about trump no geroge bush actually did a lot of this shit lmfao i know its hard to believe but all dave is doin is exposing the cover ups in a hilarious way

  10. -Attacking the UN
    -Random press conferences in front of the white house
    -Space Force
    -Annoyed at journalists asking him questions
    -Media focusing on other stuff to divert from real issues aka "fake news"
    -Buddy buddy with UK prime minister

    Donald Trump is Black Bush

  11. Omg smh i so glad i live in that generation when that shit first came out ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† omg HE IS THE FUCKING G.O.A.T

  12. Do i need to tell you what the fuck you can do with an aluminum tool ? He killed me with that one !! Daveโ€˜S the goat in comedy. I donโ€™t care what anybody says!! All his videos and jokes always had a message.

  13. May he rest in peace …i miss him sooooo much .Now they got some clone devil who isnt even that funny even tho Daves program was dowloaded in the Clone .

    Even his own family members say the same thing .THAT IS NOT DAVE CHAPELLE .

    You could tell the new one now the built big one with bug eyes is a fake .

  14. September 2019:
    Don't focus on this, focus on the gays!
    Don't focus on that, focus on space!
    Dave could turn this into Black Trump and leave 99 percent of the sketch intact.

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