Laughter is the Best Medicine

Chris Becomes Carter! Can't Stop Laughing

the Travel Channel presents backpacking through Europe with a bowlegged man in short shorts hello come let's see some beautiful sights together hello tree thank you for shade hello mountain cat thank you for controlling local respiration hello windmill thank you for the cheese ridin ball cooling No oh then no no thank you are you sure cuz there's a three-day weekend coming up and I thought maybe you and I could finally go fishing like we've been talking about oh sorry Chris I can't I got insanity practice ah ah pinwheels pinwheels in my head voices angry fish how's he doing not good he still thinks this is practice of some sort Peter you know it might help Chris to be able to spend some time with his father well what's in it for old Pete he's your son don't you want someone to bond with no I only form unspoken bonds okay I'll talk to you later bye you guys that was my mom she said that daddy broke his leg whoo apparently he got hurt at the mall cut her please stop doing that we need to get you some new corduroys no none of the other boys are wearing corduroys I want dungarees you're going to get hurt doing that actually mom can't take care of him she's out of town doing a photo shoot for the cover of veins magazine so are you gonna go take care of him um I can't go I thought I'd go get my hair very minutely changed and then stem in it it is true that I did not step away but I did not lean in however in my defense she had recently gotten her hair done differently I was actually thinking that maybe you could go help daddy well not me mom last time I was at grandpa's I beat him at checkers and he punched one of my Hogan's well what about Chris wait wait where is Chris he's upstairs in his room and your father loves you too he just has trouble expressing his emotions I love Mike and Molly I love Mike and I also love Molly and I don't care who knows it you know Chris you've got a grandpa who could use your help right now I'm sure he'd enjoy spending time with you okay I'll give it a shot all right – that sucks about your leg grandpa how you been doing well let me tell you this is awful I'm so bored I can't sleep I just have to lie here and wait for my stupid leg to heal oh really sorry grandpa and the worst part about it is I can't have sex amazing and Lynda Carter wasn't actually here no that was just in your mind incredible so you can do that like what once a year or something no you can do it basically whenever you're not doing something else cool hey next time I want to try it with my hand hey I got an idea let's put in two different orders and have them race hmm you think it'll crash this system only one way to find out here's your pizza at sixteen fifty we were playing a game with you that's what you are you're a clown are you gonna pay for the pizza yes your money is in this pile of mashed potatoes eat your way out no hands sorry I'm late look Jason are you taking this seriously because Chris and I take this seriously you know if you're not gonna show up to rehearsal we'll find someone else who will all right we want to get some paying gigs sorry jeez remember this is about writing music that means something to us okay from the top oh no one wants to hear your stupid songs about nothing now let's play I fell in the shower so maybe we do need that bar five six seven eight listen Chris I really want to thank you for coming to take care of me and helping me get well again now here is no big deal well it is to me and I want to give you some money for all your time well alright then hey grandpa check it out when I make my elbow like this it looks like women's private parts hahaha Chris you just have a way of looking at things that's delightfully fresh we're not supposed to be doing this I bet we're not supposed to be doing this would ready oh no my hairless twin got out hello family let's eat all the cabbage we want I promise she'll be dead before I am I promise but grandpa I don't even want the money see this is exactly why you should get it so refreshing well I don't want it either good cuz you're not getting it come on what are you doing listen Kara you take me out of your will I'm taking you out of mine Peter that wasn't your will that was your birth certificate oh yeah which charity well there are just so many that do such great work name just one um well you know poor green whale guns books you are such a fraud why won't anyone help us oh yeah but but what Peter did you marry me for my money of course not Lois but even you can't deny it was always gonna be a huge perk did I use that right perk yes Peter yeah I thought so but then it just sounded kind of weird when I said it it was fine Hank anyway I don't plan on losing out on any of that money but I've been counting on that money Lois it's always been critical to my master plan what master plan what I never told you this but for years now I've been planning on retiring at 45 so I can work on finding a cure for balls Hymas disease hey Doc are those testicles where did you get those I don't remember ha ha ha good one Chris ha ha ha ha ha good one why are you dressed like that I don't know I just kind of felt like this is what cool people wear hey hey Chris how about you and me do a secret handshake that has way too many steps to remember all right ok shake bump bump slap pinkie hook pretend to slick your hair back represent pump one spin slap hi slap low reverse spin pump explode shake we now return to the director's cut of Mission Impossible 5 with the steps tools not edited out you're coming with me because I'm definitely over sick feet and you're not handsome hey Chris hey remember that kid you said was bullying you at school well here's his head ah that's not even him that's the Deaf kid oh that was shine language welcome to the classic comedy meatballs that sounds great is it about a pasta factory or something no that's part of the joke who's the guy that's not a guy that's the hot chick where are her boobs flat what a decent face was the best we can hope for back then Miley Cyrus had sex with a foam finger at like 6:00 p.m. Central Time this movie has a canoe that slowly sinks we now return to at the movies with two guys who watch the films on their iPhones good evening first off we're going to review Paul Greengrass as captain Phillips what did you think bill well it got off to a great start but when it was my turn to play words with friends it really took me out of it well that's a shame because visually who the Chris what the hell for well Carter kind of decided he's gonna leave all his money to Chris so I've been trying to get on his good side I even cleaned this room for on the other day wish I hadn't done that Chris our bath is ready I uh I don't I don't know what to do now I I don't have the parenting skills necessary to deal with it lucky guy wait a minute you guys just gave me an idea what's he doing up there you can he can't play no tuba Chris Chris wake up I have something very important to ask you Chris there comes a time when every man looks at his son and thinks I want to take this to the next level Chris Griffin will you marry me what is it even legal for a man to marry his son no no no that's just all of human history except for the last five months we'll just be like best pals and besides there's plenty of people who are married and don't have sex like Will Smith and that pit bull why do you even want to marry me it's time to settle down and simplify things like maybe having one ATM card in one bank account say yours oh I get it I will marry you dad oh that's wonderful news you should know this ring is very special it used to belong to your mother wait what about mom I'm afraid that's over Chris Lois wake up I need you to sign this legal document huh what is this it's a petition to force that hot mom to wear something appropriate at PTA meetings no dad I don't know what normal is anymore it wasn't a wig it was a hash system wear whatever why do we have all these appointments wedding DJ florist because Chris it takes time to plan a perfect wedding you don't want to jump the gun you know like when you respond to a text too quickly hmmm that's what we do okay great all right we'll start with the nine Grand in Copperbottom cookware holy Wacka Zoli dad what don't what me you know what you did hey I may be your husband and your dad but I'm still a man absolutely can I put them near the couple that hooked up drunk and now have to make awkward small talk until their cab to the airport arrives sure and maybe they could go next to the vastly underdressed cousin who thinks the world revolves around him I have just the spot will there be a physically frail falldown uncle indeed and we'd like to have him walk through a maze of chair legs anything else yes we did invite a black couple I'm excited for your first dance and now we're ready to add music what's your song you know I've given it a lot of thought and I went with the most romantic song ever Stars and Stripes forever by John Philip Sousa it was nice of the guests at the cat funeral to stay for our wedding yeah and I bet you're especially happy we're getting married on a Thursday school yak right welcome friends loved ones and people who are waiting for the three o'clock check-in time with nothing better to do just let us put our bags in there I'm literally gonna grab my shorts and leave Robert Frost two roads diverged in a wood and I I took the one less traveled now I ain't no scarlet but if that's not a metaphor for major-league BUTT STUFF I don't know what is thank you Chris Louis I do find out about this peanut several people have called the police about a man marrying his son don't listen to your mother Chris it's cuz of her we have bedtimes Chris come on we're going home he can't make you do this but mom I want to do this what I know he's marrying me for my money but I don't care dad I spent more time together planning this wedding and we ever had before and if being married means I get to spend even more time with my dad I'm sorry Chris but you know what I'm gonna make it up to you starting right now Chris Griffin will you be my son yes dad OMG the photographer is like obsessed with me well let's all go home you guys I think we've had enough excitement for one day yeah interestingly however I did run into Krrish again there was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan

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