Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Cold Showers Lead to Crack (feat. Rachel Bloom) – “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”


THERE’S NOTHING I LOVE MORE
IN LIFE THAN A SCALDING HOT SHOWER. IT’S THE SYMBOL OF HUMAN DIGNITY
THAT SEPARATES US FROM THE CHIMPS. HELPS YOU SCRUB OFF THE DAY
AND SCRUB ON THE SLEEP. DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE MORNING OR
NIGHT SHOWER PEOPLE. WHATEVER FLOATS YOU BOAT. BUT WHERE ARE YOUR TODDLERS
GONNA FLOAT THEIR BOATS IF ALL YOU HAVE IS COLD H2O? THAT’S TWO PARTS HYDROGEN,
ONE PART OXYGEN, AND ZERO PARTS JUSTICE! NOW I KNOW YOU’RE THINKING,
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? GO AWAY THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.” WELL BEFORE WE LEAVE, LADIES
AND GENTS, ALLOW ME TO SET THE SCENE: IMAAAAAAA — YEAH, I DON’T LIVE HERE. OH. IMAAAAAAAGINE YOUR KIDS TAKIN’
A SHOWER BEFORE THEY GO TO SCHOOL. THEY DOUSE THEIR SKIN
WITH ICE COLD WATER, A HUGE SHOCK TO THEIR LI’L SYSTEMS. AT FIRST
IT’S DOWNRIGHT UNPLEASANT BUT THEN IT GETS THEM WIRED IN
A WAY THEY’VE NEVER FELT AND THEY THINK TO THEMSELVES,
“THAT SHOWER FELT GREAT, MAYBE I’LL TRY COCAINE!” SO YOUR SON’S ON COKE, YOUR
DAUGHTER’S PREGNANT AND YOUR HUSBAND’S PROBABLY HAVING
AN AFFAIR! APOCALYPSE! JUST LIKE THE MOVIE “I AM LEGEND”
BUT NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL! NO HOT WATER! WHICH MEANS COLD SHOWERS! NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOUR
KIDS WILL BE ON CRACK! NO HOT WATER! WHICH MEANS COLD SHOWERS! WHICH EVERYONE KNOWS IS
THE GATEWAY DRUG TO CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK… CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK… CRACK, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK… IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE HOT WATER,
FOLKS! IF THIS LANDLORD’S NOT TAKING
A MEASLY HOUR OUT OF HIS DAY TO FIX YOUR SHOWER, THEN WHAT’S THIS
SCUMBAG DOING WITH ALL YOUR HARD EARNED CASH? HE’S TAKING IT AND
BLOWING IT ON A HAD OF PAI GOW AT THE INDIAN CASINO! (GASP) HE’S FAT-CATTING IT AT FANCY
RESTAURANTS LIKE… LIKE THE
OLIVE GARDEN! (GASP) AND RED LOBSTER! (GASP) GASP IS RIGHT! THAT’S GASP
WITH A UPPER-CAST G THAT ENDS WITH P. THE FIRST LETTER
IN POOL! NO HOT WATER! NO HOT WATER! WHICH MEANS COLD SHOWERS! NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOUR
KIDS WILL BE ON CRACK! THIS MAKES SENSE. NO HOT WATER MEANS COLD COLD SHOWERS! AND COLD SHOWERS ARE THE GATEWAY DRUG TO CRACK! COLD WATER IS DRUGS. YEAH!

100 thoughts on “Cold Showers Lead to Crack (feat. Rachel Bloom) – “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”

  1. You got trouble. Trouble right here in San Dimas. That starts with T which rhymes with C which stands for Cold Showers!

  2. I haven't felt like I love a show so much since community ended. it's the kind of love where you want to buy the dvds as each season comes out and rewatch then constantly, and then again with commentary. And then again without.

  3. So much energy! Some ambitious dancing on the right side of the pool, love it. Left side – chillin'. Then, somewhat like a short melodic cue of the longing motif (though nothing to do with Josh!) and perfectly crazy choreography at that moment when Rachel's afloat – haunting me sweetly like the West Covina outcry … God, this is genius! Thanks so much for your work, Rachel.

  4. lol this info is so wrong, ever since i started showering with cold water my acne, stress and skin has improved, wish i knew this when i was in high school my social anxiety was over 9000!!!

  5. Knowing the show was pitched as "Ally McBeal meets Flight of the Conchords" I'm glad to see that they did a Music Man parody, since Ally McBeal did it too.

  6. well i had cold showers before and i wasnt on crack Lol i LOVEEEEE CRAZY EX GIRLFRIEND THEY ARE SO FUNNYY

  7. I just wanna bounce when I hear this 🎾⚾️🏀⚽️🏐 and nod my head 💁🏼,crack crack crack crack,it cracks me up xx

  8. shoutout to the guy that puts his hand on his chest after Rebecca says "you're husbands probably having an affair" Queen of subverting heteronormative expectations!!

  9. this is such a small detail, but the background characters are SO GOOD! the casting for them really does portray a realistic world where everyone is diverse and their own character, also they are so amazing at acting.

  10. Where's the alternate take where Rachel misses jumping onto the inflatable and goes headfirst into the pool is my question.

  11. 0:50 I love how that man in the middle doesn't care about a drug abusing son or a pregnant daughter but totally loses it at a cheating husband

  12. Wait so why is Hugh Jackman going to be Harold Hill in the revival when Rachel proved it here that she would nail it?!

  13. I take cold showers everyday. Am I going to die in an alley with a needle in my arm and a dick in my mouth?!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *