Laughter is the Best Medicine

Comedian Buckwild Goes To His First Gay Pride Parade in Philly

I’m only saying that I’m looking good
now because like last year I did not look good I looked like a bag of garbage
and then I lost 50 pounds and all of my happiness don’t apply if you’re thinking
about getting in shape Jones it’s awful I’m exhausted
cold all the time when in no one warned me you could be cold you wanna lose
weight bring it sweater it’s not good I was fine with the shape I was in
I’ve been in a long-term relationship I’m like alright this is when we just
sit and eat huh see if our personalities are strong enough to keep us together
let’s see okay for then my idiot boyfriend decided he
would get into shapes look I’m fat I’m like dude you’re not you’re not fat it’s
six foot seven with a metabolism of a hummingbird look one gave that just
found out that my my cousin Leroy is gay give a round of applause I mean y’all
support gay rights around applause thank y’all for coming out literally my
grandma I’ll play there he’ll play that gay stuff she’s from the old school so
he was young he came out and he came back and said he wasn’t gay no more but
this time like I’m like you 57 you should be able to do what do you want to
do in 57 but we was young she never let leave or he drink out to China and the
good dishes another that he always drunk got the red Dixie Cups
I said ma what leave where I got a drink up to Dixie cuz she kicked about the
house two weeks went past I miss my cousin what they knocked on the door who
is it Leroy I lift the window up and look out
you know open up the door I said I can’t he said why I said mom told me not to
let you win he said open this door fight knock you out so I went down steps and I
open up the door over the door he’s like yo you want to go to a furry with me I’m
like like 12 years old I don’t give a fuck
took me to the best parade in my life when I’m just finding out now
it was Gay Pride weekend and Philadelphia and I hate the time I’m
like I’m running around town I got glitter on my face
Leroy Lehrer went back home he’s not going to throw my grandma over them like
mom I’m sorry when I blink my eyes I had glitter on my eyes from the parade now I
have the gun here and then he go the robber goes give me everything you got
that’s too broad of a question everything you got could you be more
specific I have coupons in my pocket and $100 I can’t give this guy coupons I
don’t know if he likes the store that I go to with these coupons you see the
dilemma like you know I’m saying I can’t be like hey and he goes what the fuck is
that I go I didn’t know you didn’t tell me ahead of time if you like going to
this grocery store I got coupons on deck you should be pumped ish right but now
you’re mad at me because this is not the specific place you want to go I don’t
know this is my first robbery won’t you ease up and appreciate what you got
right cuz I got my ha but you think you could talk I was like I could talk so I
was gonna be like hey I got coupons and a hundred dollars so I’m like yeah like
that’s all that came out and he’s this close to me right and I go try again bro
and I go like nothing was coming out it was just me screaming into its face and
he’s looking at me like what the like I get C’s like I don’t know what’s
happening I never planned this part of the robbery so I don’t know what to do
this guy panics flips the gun hits me in the face and I wasn’t even mad is it
wasn’t angry hey it was it wasn’t out of malice it was like I hate up like I
don’t know what to do dude sorry so I respected that he’s like how do I stop
that sound but I didn’t fall that was the dope part I did not fall I went like
this and I go holy I was like I I’m a man like you know like I had too much of
a moment with myself like I went oh and when I came up I smiled I shouldn’t have
smile you don’t do that in robberies I came up
way to smiley I was like yeah and I even go I do high yoga I don’t know why the I
said that I should have said that out loud not even do hot yoga which is adult
bedwetting hell yeah whoo oh you dry bed osers okay waiting the beds dope boy
that was dope adult bedwetting is one of three physical characteristics that all
serial killers share yeah thank God I’m not also pale and skinny so me and Lois
would go in we ordered our food we take our food we sit down at our table and
then Lois went to the bathroom he left me alone with his food so I was like you
know what I’m gonna play a prank on him so I grabbed his hamburger I unwrapped
it I took a bite out of it and then I wrapped it back up put it back down on
his tray so that’s my big prank right when he comes back from the bathroom
I’ll beg to do they eat your burger before they gave it to you that’s crazy
that they’re doing that right is that crazy it’s a dumb prank it’s harmless it
should never leave the table all that should happen is Lois should come back
he should open his burger his first reaction should be to look at his best
friend who’s sitting with them who also by the way dabbles in comedy and just be
like hey I just wanted to run this by you before I unexpectedly go freak out
on this entire McDonald’s that’s what I thought would go down just a little hey
did you touch my food the only time I was out of my sight I just want to know
before I try to fight a group of people that are gonna be pretty confused on why
they’re fighting but instead I got to learn them fridge with a lunatic and a
guy comfortable fighting McDonald’s employees because he opened his burger
and could not have ignored me quicker like he looked at him so fast almost
like he expected them to do it like it’s happened before
and he’s like again again with this I will fight all of each I find out who
ate my burger and he gets up starts walking towards oh I can’t believe this
is working like we have gotten so much farther than I’m prepared to get so I
just grabbed my go dude I your burger I D like why would you not look at me once
to see if I did this and he sits down and it’s weird like everybody’s looking
at us it takes 10 minutes for people to quit filming us with their phones and it
just hits me I just start things do doesn’t care out of your mind man I was
like you can get killed one day like this let’s pretend let’s pretend I’m not
here let’s pretend that someone did eat your burger they worked at this
McDonald’s you were gonna go blindly fight that guy not even try to size him
up see what he looks like do you really think you could beat up a
guy that is apparently pretty confident in himself that he’s making burgers he’s
then eating them and then he’s wrapping them up and just sitting them out to
whoever you don’t think that guy’s probably the greatest fighter of all

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