Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Comedian Julio Torres Responds to DACA Deal


-Here´s what people
are talking about. I saw this morning,
President Trump tweeted that his border wall is going
to be built out of old fences. [ Laughter ] Which explains why today
millions of Americans walked out
of their homes and said, “Where the hell´s my fence?”
[ Laughter and applause ] “I´m building
a chain-link fence.” Trump also went on Twitter to
criticize Hillary´s new book. So she responded by saying she´d send him a copy of her
children´s book instead. [ Laughter ] Trump was like,
“Got anything shorter?” [ Laughter and applause ]
“I´ll take the book. I´ll take the kids book.” Meanwhile,
Ivanka Trump said that she doesn´t speak out
against her dad publicly because when you´re
part of a team, you´re part of a team. I think what
she meant to say was, “When you´re part of a will,
you´re part of a will.” I mean, it´s just —
It´s just common sense. -Yeah.
You got to think about it. -This is big, though. After meeting
with Democratic leaders, it seems like Trump
changed his mind on DACA. Democrats were like,
“Yeah, we told him it stood for for
Doughnuts Across America. So he was like,
“Oh, I love doughnuts.” [ Laughter and applause ] But everyone
is talking about DACA. A couple weeks ago, Trump said
that he was ending it. Now he seems like he´s working
with Democrats to replace it. Nobody knows
what´s gonna happen. And obviously, a lot
of immigrants are concerned. So here to talk to us
a little more about the issue is “Tonight Show” correspondent
Julio Torres. [ Cheers and applause ] -Hi, hi, hi.
Hello, Jimmy. Hi. [ Laughter ]
-Hi, Julio. So, why don´t you tell us
a little bit about yourself. -Sure.
My name is Julio. I was born and raised
as a brunette. [ Laughter ] I´m from El Salvador. I live in Brooklyn. I´m an Aquarius,
and my favorite color is clear. [ Laughter ] -Great, great. And we just want to confirm
that you´re a real-live person. You´re not some funny, weird
character that we made up. -No, yes, correct, I am real. But I am not an American, though I´m very, very fond
of this country. I grew up in El Salvador
watching a lot of American TV. That´s part of the reason
why I´m fluent in English now. Like so many
little gay boys in El Salvador, I could only dream of maybe,
just maybe, meeting Ally McBeal one day.
[ Laughter ] -I hope you do.
I´ve met her. She´s great. -Well, I haven´t.
-Yeah. -But I came from a tiny,
tiny Central American country and look at me now. I´m part of the, um… Como se dice…?
[ Laughter ] Liberal media elite?
-Yeah, good. Now, Julio, what do you think
of the notions that illegal immigrants steal
jobs from American workers? -Well, I´m a stand-up comedian
but not just any kind. I´m the sort of
a queer multimedia kind. -Yeah, true.
[ Laughter ] -The other day, I was covered
completely in glitter, holding
a little crystal pyramid, wondering how to incorporate it
into my act, and I thought, “Oh, I´m sorry. Is this
one of the many good jobs I´m stealing
from hardworking Americans?” [ Laughter and applause ] -Uh-huh.
That´s interesting. -Am I supposed to be viewed
as a threat somehow? Look, I´m not here
because of DACA. My path was different. I am here under a visa
that claims that I am an alien of extraordinary ability. Pause for laughter or applause. [ Laughter and applause ] Thank you, thank you. I think this will all work out,
but it´s just frustrating that we keep having
these conversations, immigrant or Dreamer or illegal. These are broad labels
composed of very real, unique people with their own
hopes and dreams. Today, I´m a legal little
space twink, but tomorrow, I could be just another
bad hombre on my way out. [ Laughter ] Trump keeps changing his mind
on this, and I get it. We all have a little angel
on one shoulder and a Cabinet full
of racist devils on another. [ Laughter and applause ] You know, the only person
I connect with in this administration
is Melania, because just like me,
she´s foreign, she´s a beautiful ice princess, and we both scan the room
for the nearest exit whenever we read to children. [ Laughter ] Look, look, I really
want to stay in America, but if this doesn´t work out, I guess I´ll just marry
a billionaire and become First Lady. -Julio Torres, everyone! Julio, thank you, buddy! [ Cheers and applause ] Julio, thank you for being here. Guys, this was going viral. Yesterday, Trump wore
a blue jacket with black pants to a meeting
on race relations. Take a look at this.
This is very — yeah. Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Trump was like,
“I told you, I don´t see color.” [ Laughter and applause ] And people are still talking
about this Ted Cruz scandal where his Twitter account liked
a pornographic video. And he´s been blaming his staff
for the incident, and I think that they´re
getting a little fed up with it. You can kind of hear them
in the background during this interview.
Listen close. -Your Twitter handle liked
a post that was clearly porn. What happened? -Look, it was —
We had a staffer who accidentally
hit the wrong button. -No! That was you.
[ Laughter ] -And it was a screw-up. -You screwed yourself! -As soon as we found out about
it, we pulled it down. -Oh, you pulled it, all right! -All right.
You see what I´m saying? That was —
No, yeah. So, that´s… -Cruz. -Hey, Target announced
that it will hire 100,000 seasonal employees
during the holidays. 10 of them will be
on the register. The rest
will wander around saying, “I don´t work
in this department.” [ Laughter and applause ] “I just need —
Who does?” “They´re in
the other department.” And, finally, I read about
a brother and sister in Michigan who reunited
after 50 years apart. Unfortunately,
it was on Tinder. [ Audience groans ] We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots,
everybody.

67 thoughts on “Comedian Julio Torres Responds to DACA Deal

  1. If you look up some of the skits this guy wrote for SNL last year you'll realize just how genius this guy is. I really hope they promote him to cast member

  2. Having a non-DACA recipient weigh in on DACA… great strategy! You would think the liberal media would laud Trump's efforts to protect DACA members, but they are only interested in destroying Trump.

  3. I've seen him to, not funny how can no one tell the laughs are fake! Wow this whole thing was fake! How can anyone find him funny!!

  4. The same old rhetoric and propaganda of trying to blur the lines between illegal aliens and legal immigrants. It does not matter how long illegals have been illegally living in America – they are illegal, have no right to be in America and should be deported. The American dream is for Americans. Enter the country legally and share in that dream. Enter illegally and suffer the consequences. Deport all illegal aliens. Legal immigrants welcome.

  5. Just show me the damn comedian! Stop shoving the stupid Jimmy bleeding liberal monolog clips down my throat!

  6. It doesn't matter how many jokes this dude makes abut Trump, I'm still like… Ok but like you HELPED. So like 🤷🏿‍♀️

  7. I'm queer, and I love that Julio is unapologetically queer. It's a little bit of an act, but it's not as much as you'd think if you aren't part of the community. And it's nice. AND I love that my fellow queer POCs are getting a lot of opportunities. Julio is SO funny, and he's funny without trying to be someone he's not. And yeah, he plays into stereotypes, but that's an active choice he makes. There's real power in it. It's laughter that he's choosing to elicit. He knows what he looks like, and he knows what he sounds like, so he goes with it and makes it his own. So he's doing amazingly, and I'm so proud of him.

  8. To all those who took the time to comment "How Unfunny You Thought He Was!" If you didn't think he was funny, Just stop watching and then get on with you day. That would be the reasonable thing to do, … You see Julio is Possitively Authentic, Next Level Creative, and takes action to bring Humor/Laughter into our world, His way… You wasted your time and energy projecting your ego and needless negativity.on Him. The Jokes on You Now, Because He got a Deal with HBO for a TV series and a comedy special! So you can SUCK IT!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *