Laughter is the Best Medicine

Critical Role Crack – Episode 13: Lost & Found

[Critical Role Theme] Marisha: I’m just going to, uh, see if I can do, like a a blow to his temple with my elbow. Matt: Go for it. [Upbeat music as Sam and Laura ignore everything] Matt:…not hit. You swing and the head just-WOOFH-ducks out of the way. It swings wide. It kinda glides and gets… [Upbeat music and more ignoring] Travis: Oh, 16 does not hit. [Upbeat music] [Alert noise] Marisha: Yes. Travis: Did you hear that? Sam: No, none of it. Travis: Very important. Sam: Did Beau make out with the crick? [At same time] Laura: Sorry, we were talking about really important things. Travis: 16 does not hit, okay? Laura: 16 doesn’t hit him?! Marisha: I’ve got him, I’ve got him wrapped and grappled. Sam: Wow, that was fast. [Klaxon noises] Spongebob Narrator: 5 minutes later… Matt: You see white teeth that are, uh, have pretty prominent… [Upbeat music and ignoring resumes] Beau: We just wanna talk to you, damn it! [Upbeat music] Travis [cutting off music]: Did you hear that important detail about the enemy that he just revealed? Sam: Uh, nope! We were, uh, talking. [Klaxon noises] Travis [gritting teeth]: Sharp fucking teeth! Laura: Sorry, Travis! [Klaxon noises] [Critical Role Theme] Sam: Uh, that’s a 2 minus 3. Matt: Okay, good to know. Sam: A bonus action, dash over there! FHEW! Matt: Good to know. Laura: And I’m going to wait to cast it until I can see him. Matt: Okay, good to know. Laura: Like across from Fjord. Matt: Okay, good to know. Taliesin: Vicious Mockery. Matt: Okay, good to know. G.I. Joe Character: And knowing is half the battle. [G.I. Joe jingle] [Critical Role Theme] Laura: Is he awake still? Matt: Unconscious. Jester: Let’s tie him up! Quick! Tie him up! Fjord: I got 50ft of hempen rope. Molly: I’ve got 50ft of hempen rope. Jester: Let’s tie him up REAL good. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Molly: With Beau’s. Fjord: Maybe no bows. Molly: I was gonna say with Beau’s rope cause she’s also got the hook. Beau: Oh yeah. [“How Could This Happen to Me” by Simple Plan] [“I made my mistakes. Got nowhere to run”] [“The night goes on as I’m fading away.”] [Critical Role Theme] Beau: Maybe we were assholes for not noticing that, uh… him handing over his entire life’s savings was a little suspicious. Jester: He gave it to us already, or it was an after sort of thing? Fjord: We didn’t get it yet. Beau: I don’t think we got it. Liam: That is correct, right? We have not been paid? Matt: No, you have not been paid. Sam: Except for 112 platinum we just got. [“Here Comes the Money”] Travis: How many gold is a platinum? Marisha and Taliesin: 10. Travis: DAMN! [Critical Role Theme] Fjord: Nott, you count on Caleb to keep you safe, right? To achieve greater things than you, by yourself, can achieve? Mona-Lisa as Nott: I have done nothing wrong ever in my life. Dr. Saperstein as Caleb: I know this, and I love you. Mona-Lisa as Nott: I love you too, daddy. Money, please! Fjord: And I’m not saying that you can’t go after treasure and coin- Nott: I think there’s a bit of a misconception here. Caleb and I have a very special relationship. It is that of a parent and a child. But, *I* am the parent. You do understand that, correct? Mona-Lisa as Caleb: I have done nothing wrong ever in my life. Dr. Saperstein as Nott: I know this, and I love you. [Critical Role Theme] Beau: Generally when a city is on lock-down though, the sewers is the first place the guards are looking for shady people to leave. Horace: That’s true. [Elevator music] Beau: Uh, where’s our cart? We still have our gypsy wagon. Nott: Oh god, we haven’t fed the horses in days! Beau: No, we haven’t! [“In The Arms of an Angel” by Sarah McLachlan] [Critical Role Theme] Caleb: Come over here, please. [At same time] Jester: Just me? Caleb [stammering]: Eh, well everybody hears this, but you come closer. Caleb: Uh, yeah, so… [THWAK] [Monstrous burp noise] [Laughter] Matt: My hair went [wind effect] on that one. [Critical Role Theme] [“Hallelujah” playing] Pumat Sol: Why, hello there! Fjord: Pumat, we’d like to introduce you to, uh, one of our friends. This is Beau. Pumat Sol: Beau, the pleasure is, uh, respectfully mine. Beau: Uhh, ah, little clammy… [Critical Role Theme] Pumat Sol: We got this nice shield over here. Jester: What does it do? Pumat Sol: It instinctively places the shield in places that might help protect from incoming blows. Jester: That’s pretty cool. Matt: It’s a +1. Critical Role Theme] Nott: If I gave you a flask, could you make it never run out of alcohol? Pumat Sol: Actually, that is a very doable enchantment. ‘Bout a week’s worth of enchanting time and cost would put you at about 250 gold piece. Nott [quickly]: I’ll take it! Jester: That’s a lot of gold. Molly: That’s a lot of liquor. [At same time] Nott: That’s nothing. Nott: It’s nothing at all. [Critical Role Theme] Caleb: I’m looking for, you know, something, just a cantrip. Caleb: Shocking, uh… Pumat Sol: Shocking Grasp! I know what you’re talking about! I got it myself. Anyone wanna see? Jester: Okay. Fjord: Yeah. Caleb: Uh, no. Beau: Yeah! Pumat Sol [electric sound]: Alrightie! I like the gumption. Matt: He goes and gives a big old handshake. Beau: I don’t know what I’m agreeing to. [Electric shock] Ahh!! FUCK! Caleb: That is the one. Beau: Get that! Molly: ಠ⌣ಠ [Critical Role Theme] Pumat Sol: Anything else you guys require or can you leave me to my readin’? Nott: What’cha reading? Pumat Sol: “The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Sir Taryon Darrington.” [Excited happiness] Pumat Sol: This guy’s been all over the place. It’s kinda wild. Laura: Yay! Caleb: Fiction or…? Pumat Sol: Oh, it’s gotta be fiction. I mean [laughs] But it’s good fiction. There’s these powerful folks from over there in Tal’dorei that he’s been meeting up with that, uh, just keep messin’ up every time they go on an adventure. Real thorns in his side. [Laughter] Caleb: We can relate. Beau: It’s called the ‘Daring Tales’. Nott: It sounds like shite, Caleb. There’s much better books out there. [Critical Role Theme] Caleb: I’m worried about crossing two planes of existence. It might not be that at all, but it is definitely not worth chancing. I’m going to walk about 200ft away from you when you put it in that bag. Laura: I put it in the bag. [Rapid beeping, shout, and explosion] [Critical Role Theme] Fjord: What else we got? Caleb: Oh, yes. Very good things. Nott: Oh, yes, the items! Caleb: Yeah, the daggers- just daggers. Nott: I’ll take those. Caleb: Who cares about daggers, honestly? Nott: I’ll take those. Caleb: This! [As Liam] And I hold up this long sword, which, like, I can barely hold it up. Caleb: This would be good for either of you two. I will let you decide. Fjord, here, this is uh… a very strong sword. Is very good against creatures. Fjord: Ooo. Caleb: That is for you to look at. And let you decide. Taliesin: Hmm! Matt: The downside is longswords are not finesse weapons. Taliesin: Oh, it’s not a finesse weapon. Matt: It’s strength to utilize it. Molly: This is really bloody heavy. Laura: Could I use that? Matt: Are you proficient with weapons like a longsword? Laura: Simple weapons! Matt: Yes, you cannot use a longsword. Molly: I think I somebody who could really enjoy this. And I’ll hold on for a friend. Jester: *Gasp* Yasha! [“Hallelujah”] Ashley’s Voice: Thank you. [Critical Role Theme] Caleb: Yeah, but, you know, Beauregard really is the most capable fighter in this group at this moment in time. What? That’s just the truth. Molly: It is the truth. Caleb: Can you handle the truth? Jester: Can *you* handle the truth? Colonel Jessup: You can’t handle the truth! [Critical Role Theme] Cree: Halt, friends. I do not recognize… Molly: ◕‿◕ Cree: ಠ_ಠ Sam: Oh! Cree: …Lucien? [Ominous music] Sam: Who? What? Cree: You’re alive? Molly: I’m sorry, friend. I’ve got one of those faces people just tend to recognize. [Shock] [Crickets] Cree: Lucien! Matt: And goes forward and just does a huuuge hug. And that’s where we’re going to end tonight’s episode. [Indecipherable shouting] M. Night Shyamalan: What a twist! [Ending music]

100 thoughts on “Critical Role Crack – Episode 13: Lost & Found

  1. Gonna be honest with you all, I am not too happy with how this one turned out. That being said, I am VERY excited that I can now make these videos on a much better computer, and hopefully, this will not only improve my workflow but the video quality as well. Thank you all SO MUCH for your patience and support <3

    PS. For those asking about The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Sir Taryon Darington, its a huge reference and shout out to their first campaign. I don't wanna spoil much but let's just say the group is VERY aware of Taryon and his adventures with those group of people that keep messing up (Vox Machina)

  2. This comedic GOLD, holy crap, the editing and the extra effects are amazing!
    the Angel choir at the introduction of Pumat Sol had me in tears!
    you got yourself another subscriber 🙂

  3. Clicks on a video, expecting no Shane McMahon, get his music, why does he have to insert himself into EVERY storyline

  4. Actually the way Laura and Sam dick around during the game kinda of pisses me off a little. It is a bit distrispectful towards Matt's work

  5. 1:24 I just noticed that you lowered the resolution of "Endorsed by Mathew Mercer" to match the low-res clip. Absolutely genius.

  6. My favorite part of all of these vids is the recurring Yasha that slowly fades in while they're discussing loot that only she can really use worth a damn and they never think about her.

  7. We need an updated 2:50, ending with Caleb going "money pleeease" because he never has any and Nott always has enough to drop at least 100 gold somewhere

  8. 1:20 So, is GI Joe trying to tell me to play a diviner with keen mind and as many skill proficiencies as possible sunk into sense motive and knowledge skills?

  9. Spoilers…Yasha never uses the long sword, never thinks about using it, would never cross her mind to use it… though a one handed weapon with a sheild would be good for her

  10. Pumat: Anyone wanna see? ;D
    Jester: Okay! 🙂
    Fjord: Yeah. :/
    Caleb: Uh, no. 😛
    Beau: YEAHHH. 😀
    Pumat: uses Shocking Grasp on Beau
    Caleb: That is the one!!!!! :DDDD


  11. Favorite reoccurring joke is the creeping Yasha whenever Caleb finds a new, large blade that should obviously go to the ONLY BARBARIAN IN THE GROUP.

  12. This is the first one of your vids that I’m watching, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it. Then I saw that you said you weren’t very proud of it, so now I’m REALLY looking forward to the next vids if the standard is even higher

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