– Emmett Miller and Ches Davis. (applause) [Ches] We gonna eat. Now shut up. [Emmett] Man I’m hungry. I want something to eat. – That’s all you talk
about is something to eat. – Well that’s all I do
is just talk about it, I don’t ever get nothing. When I left my good job
on that ministry show, what did you tell me? – What I done told you? – You said “Come on, go with me boy. We gonna have fancy drinks, horses and eggs, Pussycats’ tails, gin frugal.” I ain’t drank nothing but water. Drank so much water, my stomach think I’m takin’ in washing. I’m hungry. – Didn’t I tell you I’d stick with you through thick and thin? – Yeah, and the longer you stick, the thinner I get. I’ll be so thin after while it’ll take nine pussycats to catch a rat in the
bosom of my britches, I’m hungry. My stomach hurt. – I know a man who’d
give a million dollars for that stomach. – Well he can have it for a dime, I ain’t using it. My stomach hurting me man. – I know what’s the matter with you. – What?
You got a tapeworm. – The what?
A tapeworm. – I had one, but he starved to death. – I took you out to a
chicken dinner last night, didn’t I?
– Yeah. – You insulted me too, didn’t you? – Insult you how? – The lady brought the chicken,
and laid it on the table, walked down to the head of
the table and asked the man, “Say, where are you from?”
– Mmm-hmm. – He said, “The North.”
– Yeah. – She give him the neck of the chicken. – I was looking at her. – Went on the the other side of the table, ask that man where he from.
– Yeah. – He said, “The East.”
– Mmm-hmm. – He got the east wing of the chicken. – I saw the woman. – And she went on the other side, and asked that man where he’s from. – Yes.
– He said, “The West.” – And he got the west side of the chicken. I was lookin’ right at him. – Then she over and
asked you where you was– what did you tell that lady? – I told her I was from the South, and I didn’t want no chicken, that what I told her.
(audience laughs) And what did you do? – What I do? – The lady had some coconuts on the table, and you asked her to
pass you them potatoes, what got hairs on ’em.
(audience laughs) Man, gimme my money. – Give you what money? – Money what you owed me. – How come you figure
I owe you some money? – You stole that shoe shine polish, didn’t you?
– Yeah. – How much you get for it? – Bout $28. – Well, gimme my part. – What is yo’ part? – Well, it was seven of
us what owned the place. – That’s right. – Make me get one-seventh of 28. – What is one-seventh of 28? – $13. – You got to prove that to me. – I’m a man when I prove it to you. Lady, will you bring me that
blackboard, please ma’am? (footsteps walking) Now, the first thing you do
when you prove an example is put down the principal, which is 28. (audience laughs) That’s a two. – What you call that? – That’s a capital eight. Then you draw your semi-colon, and you put your seven out here. – What’s that? – Man, that’s a period. That shows you that that’s as fur as I’m going with that seven. (audience laughs)
Now, take that seven, it will not go into the two.
– No. But, it will go into the eight one time if you shove it right hard. (audience chuckles) That give you one left over. Seven go into 21 three times. Now gimme my money, man c’mon. – You ain’t showin’ me nothing yet, boy. – All right, I’ma prove the example to ya.
– Prove it. – I’m gone put the 13
back into the 27 time, and then I want my money, hear?
– Yes. – You know what this is? – Sure, that’s a one. – No. – What is it? – Half of 11. (audience laughs) Then you make a capital three. Put yo’ seven down there. Draw your cooler and you multiply. Seven times three is 21. Seven times one is seven. Seven and one is eight, and that’s a two. Now, let me have some, boy.
(audience laughs) – You know what I’m gone do, boy? – What you gone don? – I’ma put 13 down seven times. I’m gone figure it up. Come to $28, I’m gone give you yo’ money. – Well, FOB. – What’s that? – Figures on the board. (chalk writing and blackboard rattling) – Three, six, nine, 12, 15, 18, 21! – 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, Twenty doggone eight. Man, gimmie my money!
(audience laughing) (piano chords playing loudly)