Yeah! Ugh! Joke number 1, okay. No, I am kidding.
Just get into it. Don’t want to waist time,
straight into it. Ah, welcome to the show.
Welcome everyone, welcome. How are you guys doing? Thank
you for coming, thank you. Yeah. Thank you for coming out. So good to see you here. Oh, it’s been a wonderful journey. It’s our last tour of
South Africa for a while before I leave to go to America. I’m gonna go for two weeks “and then when I come back I’m
gonna be talking like this” I don’t know why people do that. “You know what the worst thing is?” “It’s you talking like that.” “That’s the worst thing.” Oh, it’s been so much fun man.
Traveling around South Africa. You know, trying to write
new material for a new show it’s always difficult. The easiest stuff I find to write
is political stuff in South Africa It’s to easy now, it’s become…
You know? like you give comedians credit. You go, “Oh, he’s so
funny.He’s a genius.” but we are not, we are not geniuses.
We really are not. Like the guys, the guys in
power do it all for us now. it’s actually, they actually taking
our jobs right now. It’s not cool. It’s not cool. Because soon you guys are
going to figure it out and you’re going to
stop coming to the show and you are going to start
going to press conferences and you are not gonna,
then you will be like “Oh, where are you
guys going on Friday?” “Oh, I am going to the Zuma
press conference hey. Aah!.” “Bru, like. Yeah guys,
it’s my favourite hey.” You will be like, “can you sign my DVD,
can you sign my shirt? sign my shirt!” You know? It’s absolutely crazy. I am glad the rain stopped for a
little bit, it’s been heavy. You know? Roads have been flooded and there’s been lightning and thunder and you know it’s just been crazy these storms are everywhere. and I find myself laughing these
days when lightning strikes. You know, especially when
it’s those big ones where you feel like it’s hit
the next road or something. because every time I see lightning, I think
of the M.E.C of the Northwest. M.E.C. of safety and security. True genius.True comedic genius. Like we all have our mentors and you
know I look up to guys like him. No because he came out after what happened
was there was a funeral on the weekend. And what happened was there
was a lightning storm and lightning struck the
people at the funeral. and nine people were killed instantly. There’s nothing funny about that. Nine people dead, gone. Nothing funny at all. Although it must have been a bit
weird because like, you know? You’re there because someone has died
and then *lightning sound effects* Then it’s a bit awkward now. You don’t know if carry on here or do you? You don’t know but it’s a bit you don’t know and then you’re like do you
put them in because there’s like cause you know there’s going to be like one uncle who’s
like “No there’s space to put them.” I must buy another box? nuh uh. Just” It’s just like, you know what I mean? And if you’ve got like one of those possessive mothers, you know those mothers that love their kids. Probably then she’s crying and then everyone’s like *lightning sound effects* and then they’re dead. Then they’re like “ahhh-” and
she’s like “Don’t you dare! Don’t you cry for them, you don’t cry for them! You came here for this, You came here! You save your tears and you cry where they-
Hey! They are freshly dead you can cry for them
next week. You don’t, you bring those tears here and-” But there’s nothing funny about it. And um… And so what happened is on the Monday after
the funeral. MEC came out and held a press conference and
it was there the journalists had all gathered and it was very serious. He came out there and the photographers and
everyone was there and he said, “We… we have heard… what have happened… on that funeral. And let it be known that… we… will launch a
probe. And we will not rest… UNTIL we know… where does this lightning come from?!” not rest. His assistant was
probably like “Up, up.” He was like, yes up, we want to know! Where does it come from?!” I didn’t even make the joke he just said this! I just repeated it to you! It’s like, you see? and not it’s election time which means politicians
are out it full force kissing babies. Helen Ziegler is dancing
again and speaking Xhosa. You know, you know
it’s election time. ANC comes out with a huge campaign “if you are not happy
about service delivery” “then you must vote for change.” and I am like, you guys are the ones… “Yeah, but you must…
We’ll change.” You like,”must we vote
for someone else?” “no, don’t vote for someone else
just keep it here, keep it here. Yeah, keep it here. “Just keep it here, wow!
Bring it back, keep it here.” “Yeah, bring here. No, we’ll
change, we’ll change.” We’ll change just keep
it here, keep it here, yeah, wow. You have got the DA chasing after them I mean I like that the DA is the
official opposition, but like they cant point out everything, like after a while it just
gets boring, you know. DA doesn’t tell us what they are going to do they are running around telling
us what the ANC is not doing. “Look at him! Do you want a president
that doesn’t tie his shoe laces! Look at that!” “It’s just shoe laces.”
“But still.” It’s become ridiculous. They chased after the ANC and exposed
them with the whole Gupta thing Did you see that story? The Gupta’s. one of the most famous families, who
apparently own the whole of South Africa they just own everything,
including the Zuma family. and basically what came out was, they said yes this family runs the Zuma’s, they run them. in fact when President Zuma
became President Zuma They summoned him, the
Gupta’s summoned him to they’re residential abode and they paraded him in fornt
of their friends and family. Paraded him. This is what the DA said, paraded. I think they are pushing
it, it wasn’t paraded. He wasn’t summoned, he was probably
invited. He wasn’t summoned. You know, it wasn’t paraded.
Because when they say paraded Like I am sure he was
there meet and greet. New president, we are rich, you are President. How you doing, here’s some money. It’s cool, we understand.
But it wasn’t paraded. Because when you think of paraded, it
makes it seem like that Indian family was sitting there, the whole Gupta’s. There they where and they where like, “Everybody sit down his
coming, his coming.” “Sit down, sit down!” “Sit down, buddy. Sit
down, sit down!” “We got a Zulu man, his coming.
His coming!” Yes, he’ll do the dance, sit down. sit down, have you got your popcorn?
You got your popcorn. Okay everybody, dim the light. Dim the lights. Dim the lights, dim the lights. “he’s at the doom, start the music!” *Music playing and Zuma posing* Jacob Zuma. *Music playing and Zuma posing* He wasn’t paraded. He was invited. And the DA said, “we have to investigate these claims! We need to investigate them!” We said, “Would you?” They said, “we would
love to investigate.” “We will get the best investigators
we can.” And they did. The DA went out and got the best
investigators they could find. Investigators so good they found that the Gupta’s
had also given the DA money. Ah, priceless.