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Laughter is the Best Medicine

Demetri Martin Shares His Early Comedy Drawings


( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN WHO
WROTE, DIRECTED, AND STARS IN THE NEW MOVIE “DEAN.”>>I CAN’T LIVER THERE. IT’S RIDICULOUS. IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR ME TO STAY
THERE. IT’S TOO BIG?>>IT’S TOO BIG?>>YEAH.>>COULD YOU JUST, LIKE, NOT USE
ALL THE ROOMS OR SOMETHING. MAYBE YOU COULD, LIKE, I DON’T
KNOW, COVER UP THE FURNITURE WITH SHEETS, DON’T GO IN THERE.>>LIKE I’M A COUNTESS?>>I DON’T KNOW. I THINK THIS IS HASTY. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. I GREW UP THERE. I DON’T WANT TO SELL OUR HOUSE.>>DEAN, IT
( MUSIC PLAYING ) OH, MY GOD! THAT’S MY PHONE. SORRY. HERE WE GO. I’M– I’M– I CAN’T TALK NOW. I’M WITH MY SON. YOU SEE, I’M BUSY.>>IT CAN’T SEE YOU. IT’S MORE OF A VOICE THING.>>Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME
DEMETRI MARTIN. ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: HEY.>>HOW ARE YOU?>>Stephen: GOOD, NICE TO SEE
YOU AGAIN.>>THANKS FOR HAVING ME.>>Stephen: IT’S BEEN A WHITE
WHOOIL BURNGHT PEOPLE MAY NOT KNOW THIS THAT YOU AND I WERE
BOTH CORRESPONDENTS ON “THE DAILY SHOW. OF.>>YES, ONE OF US WAS MORE
SUCCESSFUL AT IT, BUT WE WERE BOTH.>>Stephen: JUST LONGER. WHEN DID YOU FIRST START THERE?>>I STARTED THERE AS AN INTERN. I THINK IT WAS, LIKE, ’97.>>Stephen: THAT’S WHEN I–
>>YEAH –>>Stephen: SO THAT WAS BACK
IN THE CRAIG KILBURN DAYS.>>I THINK A COUPLE OF MONTHS
BEFORE YOU STARTED. I’M NOT PULLING RANK OR ANYTHING
BUT I HAVE SENIORITY –>>Stephen: YOU UNDERSTAND. YOU COME BEFORE ME IN THE
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOG.>>I’M SORRY, I COULDN’T MAKE IT
TO THE REUNION.>>Stephen: SORRY, YEAH, NO
PROBLEM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I HEARD YOU DROPPED OUT OF LAW
SCHOOL TO BE A PERFORMER.>>YES.>>Stephen: WHY DID YOU DO
THAT?>>I WAS FEELING LIKE MY FAMILY
WAS GETTING KIND OF PROUD OF ME AND, LIKE, A LITTLE CLOSE TO
BEING PROUD OF ME. AND I WAS LIKE…>>Stephen: LAW SCHOOL, THAT
WOULD HAVE MADE THEM PROUD?>>YEAH, SO I THOUGHT, COMEDIAN,
THAT SHOULD FIX THINGS. ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: DID THEY WORRY? DID THEY WORRY, LIKE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?>>YEAH, YEAH. PEOPLE WERE REALLY DISAPPOINTED. ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S KIND OF FREEDOM, THOUGH. I THINK DISAPPROVAL IS KIND OF
FREEDOM IN A WAY. ONCE YOU DISAPPOINT PEOPLE, YOU
CAN KIND OF DO ANYTHING– YOU WANT TO BE A DANCER, A POET. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?>>Stephen: SURE, BECAUSE
EVERYTHING IS A STEP UP.>>I THINK SO —
>>Stephen: FROM COMEDIAN, EVERYTHING IS A STEP UP.>>THAT’S TRUE, THAT’S TRUE.>>Stephen: YOU’RE FAMOUS FOR
SHORT JOKES.>>YES.>>Stephen: SIMPLE, SHOT
JOKES.>>THAT’S A KIND WORD “FAMOUS.” I TELL SHORT JOKES.>>Stephen: YOU’RE RENOWNED
FOR IT.>>I’M TAIG THAT.>>Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A
FAVORITE SHORTEST JOKE.>>HENNY YOUNGMAN FAMOUSLY DID,
“TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE.” THAT’S FOUR WORDS. THAT’S PRETTY GOOD. RIGHT? OKAY, GOOD. I DON’T HAVE– I TRIED TO WRITE
A FOUR-WORD JOKE, AND IT DOESN’T– IT DOESN’T REALLY WORK
SO I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T SAY IT ON TV BUT THIS IS THE BEST I
HAVE OF A FOUR-WORD JOKE– CANNIBALS MAKE ME DINNER.>>Stephen: THAT’S PRETTY
GOOD. THAT’S PRETTY GOOD.>>THANK YOU.( APPLAUSE )
THAT’S WHAT I NEED.
YEAH, THANKS. I’M NOT SAYING THAT’S A GREAT
JOKE, BUT –>>Stephen: YOU’RE ALSO KNOWN
FOR YOUR DRAWINGS.>>YES.>>Stephen: ARE THESE IN A
PARTICULAR ORDER.>>YEAH, THESE ARE STESKLY– I
WORKED THIS OUT. THIS WILL MINIMIZE AWKWARD
SILENCE.>>Stephen: I LIKE AWKWARD
SILENCE, THOUGH.>>YEAH, THAT’S WHERE I LIVE, SO
THAT’S OKAY. ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS– WHAT I LIKE ABOUT DRAWINGS IS YOU CAN DO JOKES
WITH JUST– WITH NO WORDS SOMETIMES OR JUST, LIKE, A SHAPE
OR SOMETHING. THIS WAS MY FIRST KIND OF COMEDY
DRAWING I DID YEARS AGO. AND THIS IS– I CALL THIS
CINNAMON ROLL OR DOG (BLEEP). IF YOU LOOK AT THAT, IT’S KIND
OF A P.O.V. THING.>>Stephen: IT’S UP TO YOU. KIND OF A GLASS HALF EMPTY. I’LL TAKE THAT.>>SO THE LETTER “M.” WHEN I STARTED DRAWING, I
STARTED TO NOTICE, YOU KNOW, YOU SEE THINGS THAT MAYBE YOU DIDN’T
SEE BEFORE. THE LETTER “M,” I NEVER HAD
TROUBLE WITH THE LETTER “M.” IT’S FINE. BUT DITHINK ABOUT IT, AND I FELT
LIKE THERE WAS AN EMOTIONAL FEELING I GOT FROM AN “M,” KIND
OF UNEASY.>>AND DIDN’T KNOW WHY. BUT THEN I REALIZED WHAT IT WAS,
AND THE “M” KIND OF HAS AN AGGRESSION TO IT. IT LOOKS LIKE– YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN, KIND OF A GUY’S CROTCH. SPREAD EAG GLEL OR WELCOMING.>>THE “W” IS EVEN WORSE, I SAY. BECAUSE IT’S KIND OF A FACE
PLANT, BONY ASS KIND OF THING. YOU CAN ALSO EXPLORE INFORMATION
WITH DRAWINGS, DATA. THIS IS A BAR GRAPH. SO THIS WOULD BE HOW INTERESTING
YOU FIND YOUR CHILDREN. AND THIS IS HOW INTERESTING I I
FIND YOUR CHILDREN.( APPLAUSE )
YOU CAN SEE IT’S KIND OF– AS IT
SHOULD BE. IT SHOULDN’T BE THE OPPOSITE, IF
YOU THINK ABOUT IT.>>Stephen: THAT’S TRUE,
THAT’S TRUE.>>THIS IS A LITTLE MORE
ELABORATE. THIS IS PRAYING. THIS IS HOW MUCH PEOPLE PRAY
BASED ON THE LOCATION THEY’RE IN. IN CHURCH PEOPLE PLAY A PRETTY
GOOD AMOUNT. IN A LOCKER ROOM BEFORE A
CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. IN COURT. KNEELING BEFORE THE TOILET IS
OFF THE CHARTS. THAT’S WHERE PEOPLE PRAY THE
MOST. AND IN A JACUZZI, VERY LITTLE. PEOPLE DON’T LOOK FOR GOD. THIS IS THINGS THAT PRAY. THIS IS PEOPLE AND MANTISES. SO IT’S CEEND OF A TIE. ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS KIND OF COOL. THIS IS A DRAWING OF SKULL AND
CROSSBONES WHEN HE WAS STILL ALIVE. SO THIS IS BEFORE–
( LAUGHTER ) KIND OF LIKE A–
( APPLAUSE ) ALL RIGHT, COOL.>>Stephen: HAPPIER DAYS.>>WE’RE GROWN MEN AND WE’RE
DOING THIS. OKAY, HERE WE GO. SO THIS IS– I THOUGHT THIS
WOULD BE A GOOD SIGN FOR A STRIP CLUB DURING THE DAY TIME. “SORRY, WE’RE CLOTHED.” ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: THAT’S A
THREE-WORD JOKE RIGHT THERE.>>SO FINALLY, THIS IS KIND OF
SOME MORE INFORMATION HERE. SO PETS, IT’S INTERESTING TO ME,
IF YOU HAVE ONE PET, THAT’S OKAY. YOU HAVE A PET, GREAT. YOU’RE LIVING WITH AN ANIMAL
GREAT. YOU HAVE FOUR, I THINK YOU’RE
KIND OF DESPERATE ONCE YOU GET TO FOUR PETS. 32, YOU’RE CRAZY. I THINK WITH 32 ANIMALS THAT’S A
CRAZY PERSON. WHAT’S INTERESTING IS TEETH ARE
THE DIRECT OPPOSITE. 32 OKAY. 1 CRAZY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: THERE IT IS.>>THANKS, STEPHEN.>>Stephen: “DEAN” OPENS JUNE
2. DEMETRI MARTIN, EVERYBODY. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH PAULA
POUNDSTONE.

100 thoughts on “Demetri Martin Shares His Early Comedy Drawings

  1. the reason why he's not so famous is cuz his jokes are actually quite clever and not everyone gets it. Also, he's not very vulgar which I think contributes to that as well

  2. If you like demetri martin you should check out this comedy drawings facebook page!! https://www.facebook.com/DoodleWisely/

  3. I like that he doesn't have to rely on vulgarity and shock value for the jokes. They're just clever and well delivered.

  4. He is the funniest human being of all time. Tell me a joke your favorite comedian said and I'll tell you one Demetri Martin said that's funnier.

  5. the shit they edit out of this show is so fucking obvious and bad. after demetri apologizes for not attending the daily show reunion they must've edited out like at least 30 seconds

  6. He's rehashing old material, but it's still funny.. Go watch his Netflix specials. Live at the time is one of my favorite stand-ups ever.

  7. If he was really funny, when Colbert said “just longer…” in the beginning, Demetri would’ve responded, “no, you were there longer”

  8. Person by Dimitri Martin is probably my favorite stand-up ever. It's one of the biggest inspirations behind the name of my channel.

  9. I love both of these guys, but I can't even watch it through to the end cuz Colbert just shows zero appreciation for his drawing jokes and keeps rushing through them, moving to take the card away before the audience even reacts to the joke. He must've been seriously pissed at Martin for something.

  10. My dad went to the same high school (Toms River North) as Demetri, though he graduated in Demetri's freshman year.

  11. Demitri Martin is such an underrated comedian. I scrolled through the comments here and I'm so glad to see so many people show their love and support for him.

  12. Stephen looks annoyed that Dimitri gets more laughs with dumb drawings than he gets with a whole team writing for him.

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