Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Dog Jokes and One Liners [JOKE LABORATORY]


Good evening. Have we got any dog lovers in the audience tonight? Cool! I love my dogs so this little gig is going to be focused on our canine chums. I mean my dog is my best friend and that’s why I’m always lending him money. He’s half Labrador. half Pitbull, he’ll chase down a jogger bite off their leg and bring it back to me. The other day he chased a woman on a bike. I don’t know where he got the bike from. But he goes crazy when he hears somebody at the front door and that’s weird because it’s never for him. Yes he’s not too smart. He still hasn’t worked out that he’s adopted. S ao dog walks into a bar and ask asks for a beer and the bartender says, “Wow! A talking dog! You should join the circus.” and the dog says, ” Hey, what would the circus want with a qualified heating engineer?” Pavlov walks into a bar the phone rings and he says, ” Oh damn, I forgot to feed the dog!” My email password has been hacked yet again, so that’s the third time I’ve had to rename the dog. My new email password by the way is five miles. Hey I walk my dog five miles every single day! I took him for a walk once and he caught a duck on the lake, he actually got hold of the duck now he won’t stop chasing them. He’s hooked on quack! But if we’re talking about smart dogs sheepdogs are smart. This sheepdog rounded up all the sheep got them into the pen and he says to the farmer, ” Rrite all 40 sheep accounted for boss.” and the farmer says, ” but I’ve only got 39 sheep!” and the sheep dog says. ” Yeah I know I rounded them up.” But the very smartest dogs are those guide dogs for the blind because they can actually read! What? You don’t believe me? Who do you think those signs saying ‘guide dogs only’ are for? Regular dogs? But I’ve never seen a dog who’s a good dancer, two left feet. A dog walks into a bar in the Wild West he’s looking for the man who shot his Paw. A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads ‘talking dog for sale ten dollars’. Intrigued he walks in, is introduced to the dog and he says to the dog, ” Tell me a bit about yourself.” And the dog says, ” Well, I’ve been around. I traveled across Europe as a puppy, did some charitable work in Africa for UNESCO and now I’m on the international speaking circuit as a representative of Greenpeace.” And the guy is flabbergasted and he says to the dog’s owner. ” This is incredible! Why on earth do you want to get rid of this dog and for just ten dollars?” And the guy says, ” Because he’s a damn liar, he’s never travelled abroad.” But remember if a dog is man’s best friend then that man is lucky but the dog has a real problem. Thank you and good night. If you’re still here I think it means you like our channel so hit that like button. if you haven’t already, to subscribe and we’ll be making you laugh again soon.

One thought on “Dog Jokes and One Liners [JOKE LABORATORY]

  1. If you have a joke. preferably a 'one liner' ( keep it clean folks) to maybe get included (and credited) in our next video leave it in the comments below.

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