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Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton Town Hall Debate Cold Open – SNL


[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE SECOND AND WORST EVER
PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE. I’M MARTHA RADDATZ.
>>AND I’M ANDERSON COOPER. AND BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE JUST
NEED TO DO ONE LAST THING. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>>MUCH BETTER. NOW LET’S GET THIS NIGHTMARE
STARTED. PLEASE HELP US WELCOME THE
CANDIDATES. REPUBLICAN NOMINEE DONALD TRUMP
AND — CAN WE SAY THIS YET?>>PROBABLY FINE.
>>– PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ ♪
>>THANK YOU. THANK YOU BOTH FOR BEING HERE.
>>THANK YOU. I’D LIKE TO BEGIN BY ATTEMPTING
A CASUAL LEAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
GOT IT!>>MARTHA, TONIGHT I’M GOING TO
DO THREE THINGS. I’M GOING TO HUFF, I’M GOING TO
PUFF, AND I’M GOING TO BLOW THIS WHOLE THING.
>>NOW TONIGHT’S DEBATE IS A TOWN HALL, WHICH MEANS WE’LL BE
TAKING QUESTIONS FROM VOTERS IN THE AUDIENCE.
THEY ARE UNDECIDED, UNCOMMITTED AND NOT REMOTELY CAMERA READY.
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, WE’LL START WITH YOU.
YOUR QUESTION COMES FROM PATRICE BROCK.
>>HELLO. MY QUESTION IS, DO YOU FEEL THAT
YOU ARE MODELING APPROPRIATE AND POSITIVE BEHAVIOR FOR TODAY’S
YOUTH?>>HI, PATRICE.
LET ME START BY WALKING OVER TO YOU, JUST AS I PRACTICED.
[ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT LEFT, RIGHT LEFT, RIGHT
LEFT, LOOK, SPEAK. OKAY.
NOW YOU’RE A TEACHER?>>NO.
>>YOU HAVE KIDS?>>NO.
>>YOU LIKE KIDS?>>NO.
>>YOU’VE SEEN KIDS?>>YES.
>>GREAT. OKAY, WE’RE BONDING ALREADY.
MY FRIEND, PATRICE, I STRIVE TO BE A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL FOR ALL
CHILDREN. CHILDREN LIKE MY DAUGHTER
CHELSEA, AND MY GRANDDAUGHTER CHELSEA JR.
>>MR. TRUMP, SAME QUESTION. DO YOU FEEL YOU’RE MODELING
APPROPRIATE AND POSITIVE BEHAVIOR FOR TODAY’S YOUTH?
>>NO. NEXT.
>>SO YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THE KIDS?
>>ANDERSON, I LOVE KIDS. OKAY, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I
MARRY THEM. I’VE BEEN HELPING KIDS MY WHOLE
LIFE. IN 1992, I HELPED A KID NAMED
KEVIN McALLISTER FIND A HOTEL LOBBY.
REMEMBER THE DOCUMENTARY “HOME ALONE II, LOST IN NEW YORK.”
>>OKAY, MOVING ON, MR. TRUMP, WE RECEIVED A LOT OF QUESTIONS
ONLINE ABOUT THE AUDIO TAPE THAT WAS RELEASED LAST WEEK OF YOU
BRAGGING ABOUT SEXUALLY ASSAULTING WOMEN.
>>LISTEN, WHAT I SAID IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT
BILL CLINTON HAS DONE. OKAY?
HE HAS ABUSED WOMEN. AND MARTHA, ANDERSON, HOLD ON TO
YOUR NIPS AND YOUR NUTS, BECAUSE FOUR OF THESE WOMEN ARE HERE
TONIGHT. FOUR OF THEM.
>>WAIT, I’M SORRY. WHO’S HERE?
>>MISTRESSES? BILL, HOW COULD YOU?
OH, HOW WILL I GO ON WITH THIS DEBATE?
I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO REMEMBER MY FACTS AND FIGURES NOW.
OH, DONALD, NO! GET REAL, I MADE A STEAL.
THIS IS NOTHING. HI, GIRLS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>MARTHA, SHE IS TRYING TO
SILENCE THESE WOMEN, BUT THEY NEED TO BE RESPECTED AND THEY
NEED THEIR VOICES HEARD.>>AND WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN
ACCUSING YOU OF SEXUAL ASSAULT?>>THEY NEED TO SHUT THE HELL
UP. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>ALRIGHT, LET’S MOVE ON. OUR NEXT QUESTION IS FROM
KEN CARPOWICZ.>>THANK YOU.
I’VE GOT A BORING ONE. THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT IS NOT
AFFORDABLE. WHAT WILL YOU DO TO BRING THE
COSTS DOWN AND MAKE COVERAGE BETTER?
>>WELL, KEN, THAT’S ACTUALLY A GREAT QUESTION.
I AGREE THAT OBAMACARE CAN BE APPROVED, KEN.
BUT, KEN, IT DOES HAVE ITS BENEFITS.
AND NUMBER ONE, INSURANCE COMPANIES CAN’T DENY YOU
COVERAGE BECAUSE OF A PRE-EXISTING CONDITION.
NUMBER TWO, WHICH IS A BIG DEAL IF YOU HAVE SERIOUS HEALTH
PROBLEMS. AND NUMBER THREE —
[ LAUGHTER ] SORRY.
I THOUGHT I — AND NUMBER THREE, WOMEN CAN’T BE CHARGED MORE THAN
MEN. I THOUGHT I — WOMEN CAN’T BE
CHARGED MORE THAN MEN FOR HEALTH INSURANCE.
AND NUMBER FOUR –>>OKAY, LET’S TAKE ANOTHER
QUESTION, THIS ONE COMES FROM JAMES CARTER.
>>GOOD EVENING, MR. TRUMP.>>OH, NO.
>>MY QUESTION IS, DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN BE A DEVOTED
PRESIDENT TO ALL PEOPLE?>>THAT IS A GREAT QUESTION,
DENZEL. THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION
ABOUT THE INNER CITIES.>>MY NAME IS JAMES AND I DIDN’T
ASK ANYTHING ABOUT NO INNER CITIES.
>>THE INNER CITIES ARE A MESS, OKAY.
JUST LAST MONTH I WAS IN DETROIT AND EVERYWHERE I LOOKED, THERE
WERE VIOLENT CRAZY PEOPLE AND A LOT OF THEM HAD GUNS, AND THEY
WERE SCREAMING HORRIBLE THINGS LIKE “TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT.”
>>I THINK YOU WERE AT ONE OF YOUR OWN RALLIES.
>>MARTHA, THIS BLACK MAN IS ATTACKING ME.
ALSO, SPEAKING OF BLACK MEN, DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE SHOULD BE PUT
IN JAIL? HILLARY CLINTON.
SHE’S COMMITTED SO MANY CRIMES. SHE’S BASICALLY A BLACK.
>>SECRETARY CLINTON, DO YOU WISH TO RESPOND TO THAT?
>>NAH, I’M COOL. BECAUSE AS MY BEST FRIEND
MICHELLE OBAMA ONCE SAID, WHEN THEY GO LOW, YOU GO HIGH!
GOD I LOVE THAT QUOTE. ALMOST AS MEMORABLE AS WHEN I
SAID “TRUMPED UP, TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS.”
JUST A COUPLE OF EQUALLY FAMOUS QUOTES FROM A COUPLE OF EQUALLY
LOVEABLE WOMEN.>>OKAY, AND NOW SINCE EVERYONE
HAS BEEN SO GOOD, IT’S TIME FOR A SPECIAL TREAT.
>>THAT’S RIGHT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PUT YOUR
HANDS TOGETHER, FOR THE ONE, THE ONLY, MR. KEN BONE.
♪ ♪ Y’ALL READY FOR THIS ♪
♪ ♪
>>OH, MY GOD, HE IS SO CUTE.>>I REALLY NEEDED THAT RIGHT
NOW.>>NOW, WAIT, KEN, YOU’RE NOT
GOING TO TURN OUT TO BE A WEIRD LITTLE CREEP OR ANYTHING, ARE
YOU?>>MAYBE.
>>GOD, WE CAN’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE.
>>OH, WELL. WELL, WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE FINAL
QUESTION, AND IT COMES FROM CARL BECKER.
>>GOOD EVENING, MY QUESTION IS FOR HILLARY.
TONIGHT DONALD TRUMP SAID YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL, HE SAID YOU
HAVE HATE IN YOUR HEART, AND HE FOLLOWED YOU AROUND THE STAGE
LIKE A SHARK. SO MY QUESTION, WHAT DO YOU LIKE
ABOUT HIM?>>WELL, THIS ONE’S ACTUALLY
EASY. DONALD TRUMP AND I DISAGREE ON
ALMOST EVERYTHING, BUT I DO LIKE HOW GENEROUS HE IS.
JUST LAST FRIDAY, HE HANDED ME THIS ELECTION.
>>MR. TRUMP, ONE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT SECRETARY CLINTON?
>>I LIKE THAT SHE’S A FIGHTER AND SHE DOESN’T GIVE UP, WHICH
IS WHY I NEED ALL MY SUPPORTERS TO GET OUT AND VOTE ON ELECTION
DAY. MARK YOUR CALENDARS, WRITE IT
DOWN, HERE’S THE DATE, IT’S NOVEMBER 35th.
AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

100 thoughts on “Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton Town Hall Debate Cold Open – SNL

  1. lol love how literally everyone thought Donald trump being president was just a joke… I don’t know whether that makes me want to laugh or cry..

  2. Wow seeing the comments now in 2019 it's funny to see Trump STILL has diehard supporters like… He's done NOTHING

  3. The clintons love kids. They like to take them on private planes to their private island. Maybe they're trying to educate them in their own special way.

  4. How much arrogance. Watching this now , I realize what kind of kick in the face has been the election of "The Donald". Poor democrats. …….

  5. 3:47 They just clapped in support of four women being raped by Bill Clinton…… Im sorry but that's just wrong on so manly levels

  6. Spot on both Alec Baldwin pulls the perfect Donald chump he will be remembered for the most corrupt president ever every word he says is a lie.

  7. “Mistresses…? Bill how could you…? How will I go on with the debate..? Oh I’ll never remember my facts and figures… Oh Donald no… Get real I’m “made of steel.. This is nothing.. Hi girls”

  8. 1:51 Holy shit!!! I thought Patrice O'neal was dead!!! SNL just proved to me that not only is he alive, but he became a tranny!!!!

  9. I already knew this was gonna be good when Donald and Hilary did an old western stand off right when they came out lol

  10. "Hillary, What do you like about Trump?"

    "This one's actually easy. Donald Trump and I disagree on almost everything, but I do like how generous he is. Just last Friday, he handed me this election."

  11. TRump destroyed Hillary Clinton. Politicians are amateurs compared to successful businessmen. Clinton is mad she lost because she would have made millions more through kickbacks and corruption if she had won.

  12. This is so how New Yorkers think, and everybody thank GOD Hillary lost . New York and California should be banned from the United States . You know , like put them on probation from voting , from anything political. Cause they’ve evidently have lost their mind. Especially New York with their passing a law saying that illegals can obtain a drivers license even though their not a U S citizen, now come on New York , WTF . Are the democrats that desperate for a vote ?

  13. "she is trying to silence these woman but they need to be respected, they need their voices heard."
    "what about all the woman accusing you of sexual assault"
    "THEY NEED TO SHUT THE HELL UP"

  14. SNL just doesn't look so good now. They can cry all they want hopefully Trump wins again next year see what kind of shit they will make to cringe

  15. Laughing now uh.. whats his name that played Trump?! Oh yeah Alec Baldnobody, only has a career left as a comedian off the back of the person he hates. FKNG EPIC!!

  16. Journalists feel an obligation to stay within the bounds of propriety whereas Trump doesn't. It's asymmetric warfare that Trump can't lose, keeping in mind that no matter how low you go, he'll definitely go lower. WAY lower.

  17. Donald and the Deplorables had the last laugh… and it goes on and on… and shall keep on going again and again!

  18. It’s really just hard to imagine anyone being stupid enough to think that Crooked Hillary stood a chance against Trump after the eight failed years of the Kenyan. 2020 will be a record massive Trump landslide.

  19. Trump: "These woman need to be respected."

    Host: "What about the woman accusing you of sexual assault?"

    Also Trump: "They need to shut the hell up."

  20. I love how SNL treated ALL of their Trump Clinton skits as if she had already won the election and had it in the bag. There’s truth in Aesop’s saying “don’t count your chickens before they hatch”. Well SNL and other crazy liberals did and they gloriously LOST!! LOL

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