Laughter is the Best Medicine

Don’t Laugh News Challenge: How Goes Gravity Work?

– Hi, I still don’t know
what I’m about to say because I’m big stupid idiot. Go to to start your free trial today. For every episode of
breaking news that’s here, there’s another episode only
available on Dropout TV. Until next time I’m Grant O’Brian, which is Irish for Grant Of Brian. (laughing) – [Producer] From West
Hollywood California, the only news team that doesn’t know what’s on the teleprompter
before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. This is, Breaking News. – Turns out it wasn’t a dog after all – Oh really? – I know I don’t know what it is. – Bet it got locked in the bathroom – Good evening and
Welcome to Breaking News. The show where we don’t
know what we’re about to say and we’re not allowed to smile or laugh. I’m Gillian Goldensocks. – And I’m Bethany Trash. (laughs) A new climbing gym has
opened here in town, and the city’s soft weak
hipsters are cheering. – [Gillian] Climbing
gyms are all the rage in neighborhoods that have a Sweetgreen. They answer the question, “What if crossfit was somehow
more unsafe and more douchey?” – Members at Downtown
Boulders can climb walls up to 25 feet tall, instead
of going outside ever. Why would anyone climb free, real, rocks when they could climb wooden ones for $175 a month. – [Gillian] Make no mistake,
climbing is bad exercise. It works like three muscles
and it moves really slowly. That guy from that movie Free Solo? Alex Honnold? I bet most
people could kick his a**. – Downtown Boulders is a
part of the mayor’s new River walk Initiative, which brings new businesses to the ugly
river of our lame city. (giggles) You see the same thing in
other second rate towns like Cincinnati, Austin and San Diego. – The Riverwalk will have a Bucca Di Beppo to stink up the whole place with garlic, and a dueling piano bar called the The Big Bang for anyone
who loves Billy Joel music, but wishes he told more d*** jokes. – [Bethany] There will also be Giggles, an improve comedy theater. For anyone who hasn’t seen
live improve, it’s a must. It’s a whole (laughs) It’s a whole show of nervous 30 year olds trying desperately to out joke each other. And everyone is so, so doughy. – You know I used to do comedy. – Oh yeah? Tell me a joke. – Well have you ever seen the one about a banana that goes outside into a green, green, green, field? – Have I seen that joke? – It’s a video. – [Bethany] Oh. – Have you seen it? – No. – It’s really funny. – Yeah, sounds funny. (laughs) – We now go to Mavis Martin, who met with the winner of the Finn Wolfhard Elementary School Science Fair. – Thanks Bethany, I had
quite a morning talking to these little geniuses. – I’ll bet Mavis, who won? – It was a little boy
named Micheal Doonsbury. He designed an experiment with
a potato gun about gravity. I don’t remember much about
it because I was distracted. He’s one of those little boys
who you just know is gonna be gay.
– Oh. – [Mavis] It was adorable,
you know the type. He’s 8 and I thought he was going to dislocate a hip from swishing so hard. – Cute! – [Mavis] He kept doing that
thing where he delicately pulls his bangs over the side
with his ring finger. He was kind of doing
duck face the whole time. – [Gillian] Terrific, did
you meet any other children? – Well I met his friends, they
were of course, all girls. – Naturally. – [Mavis] I feel bad for
them because they’re all going to be in love with
him, until he comes out. – Oh yes, they like that
he’s non-threatening and they don’t know why. – Exactly, big BTS posters
on all of their walls, I just know it. They’ll all be on the lighting crew of the high school play together. – Mavis, did he ever
explain how gravity works? – Not really, honestly I
don’t know how it works, do you?
– No I don’t. Bethany do you know how gravity works? – I know the basics, but
the specifics allude me. – Me too.
We’re going to go oh- (laughs) We’re going to go to
reporter Susan Pershing for information on a man
hunt underway downtown. Susan, are you with us? – I am Gillian. – Susan rather than tell
us about the man hunt, can you explain in
detail, how gravity works? – Certainly, so gravity is
a force that operates at negative .8 meters per second
squared and it is what keeps us grounded into the earth. It is basically a mysterious
kind of thick mist – [Susan] that we all walk
through everyday and kind of gradually as we age, it
tapes us further, further down into the earth, so the older you are, the less likely you are to fly away. – Oh, hmm,
well that’s interesting. Say more about that. – Oh and I will (laughs) – [Susan] So you know how I
mentioned its like a thick mist, scratch that, its like the
biggest blanket you’ve ever seen. Picture a blanket, now double it. That’s what I’m talking
about, so thick you can barely move through it. Imagine walking through
a big bowl of fudge, you can barely move right? That’s what gravity is doing to you. The only people who say
they’ve really experienced what its like to feel free,
have been in outer space, and usually died. – Is acceleration connected
to or independent of gravity? – Hmm, what wonderful question. – [Susan] I think its
independent of gravity but f*** if I know, you know what I mean? – [Susan] If I had to
guess, I would say that acceleration is sort of
like when you’re traveling through that same blanket,
or fudge that we were talking about, really fast. So that would be the difference. Traveling really fast,
versus traveling really slow. – Why is that? – Well you see the (laughs) – [Susan] You see, wow
you’re curious today, (laughs) you see when acceleration– – The kid didn’t answer me so
we’ll need to hear from you. – [Susan] Oh interesting all right okay. So I do remember from what,
whatever I’m reporting on, which is a crime, right? – [Susan] But acceleration
is what velocity over time or something? And that’s what’s
interesting about it because, other than that, no one really knows, aside from my fudge analogy
and that little thing. – That all sounds right to me. – [Susan] Oh, good! – That’s all for us but before we go, this weeks loser is Mary Holland. What a shmuck. – Hey thanks for watching. (laughs) – [Gillian] (laughs) thanks for watching. – Just giving up. (laughs) – [Producer] Breaking news, this just in. You have just watched another episode of, Breaking News, there are
10 episode only available on Dropout.TV, go to
Dropout.TV and start your free trial today.

100 thoughts on “Don’t Laugh News Challenge: How Goes Gravity Work?

  1. the biggest problem with the improvise bit is that these are all comedy writers that probably have at least a little bit of improv experience, so they are trying to make jokes. it would be funnier to watch somebody truly explain as much as they know about gravity and fail than to watch someone make self aware jokes around the subject.

  2. Considering she probably hasn't done a physics class in years, well done to Rehka for remembering that acceleration is velocity over time, and that g=-9.8m/s2

  3. Script: joke about lameness of improv
    Also script: forces improv into show about not laughing or smiling at reading silly things unexpectedly

  4. Omg is Lauren the girl that played Fisher in Orange is the new Black?! Yes! She must be they look exactly the same!

  5. …like… imagine a big scarf… …then imagine it bigger… no bigger… now google Lenny Kravitz's scarf.
    that's how big gravity is.

  6. Pretty simple, space has no shape on its own, (what would there be to have shape?) so you can imagine it like a 2D blanket. When you drop a pebble or a planet on it, it warps around the pebble and if you drop another pebble into that new hole, it will start rolling down towards the first pebble. There a whole lot of tiny pebbles making their own little holes, so the one with the most tiny pebbles gets the biggest hole.

  7. Just watched "Between Two Ferns The Movie" and Lauren from this vid was great in it. And obviously Galafinakis. On netflix now.

  8. see gravity was invented by issac newton at least 3 years ago. Before then, everyone was just floating around. When issac decided gravity was a thing, every one fell and most of them died. it is still true today that if you dont beleive in gravity, it wont apply to you

  9. Can we all appreciate how Rehka improvised almost her entire segment and only broke once 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

  10. Don't knock climbing. That's pretty mean. There's like not a single one of us that are douchy. It's a very helpful and friendly sport. Even more so when compared to others

  11. Really .. why censor the swear words? Please don't bow down to YouTube's demonetization. If you want to swear in your videos, then please do and let YouTube know we're not going to let their God damn algorithm and new demonetization rules stop us from making the videos we love

  12. How do we milk this premise without actually having to pay the writers?

    Easy. Make them improvise, thereby killing the whole joke.

  13. I was really hoping for a car joke where acceleration is like you holding down the peddle, right into that family of 8 picnic

  14. "Please it hurts!" is the perfect clip to end the Dropout ad with. That was by far the best episode us YT plebs have seen. Amy's goddamn 'will keep me from laughing' face nearly gave me a nightmare-induced boner. I was too busy laughing until I couldn't breathe to be bothered to get hard. Sorry, Amy. :p

  15. Rekha's "The biggest blanket you've seen: picture a blanket, now double it, that's what I'm talkin about" kills me every time.

  16. The worst part of this is that Rekha's explanation for how gravity works could very well be accurate. Physicists still don't know

  17. Rhekha started her whole improv with naming the exact number of the acceleration that is responsible for gravity yet later calls it independent of the force,like gosh darn/

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