(funky music) – [Announcer] From West
Hollywood, California, the only news team that
doesn’t know what’s on the teleprompter before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks, loses points. This is, Breaking News. – Hello and welcome to Breaking News, the show where we don’t know
what we’re about to say, and we aren’t allowed to smile or laugh. I’m Buck Fruckster. (laughter) Out of the gate. And to my left is anchor number two. She does have a name and that name is… – Glennn with three n’s. (laughter) – We begin tonight with the first story: Babies. Babies are the shriveled rats that husbands and wives make
by peeing on each other. Everyone knows that babies smell bad and suck at math, but did you know babies turn into people? – [Glennn] Smart scientists
at a university somewhere say that people used to be babies, and when babies become enormous, that’s how people happen. – [Buck] Fascinating! So, I was a baby before I got so huge? – Exactly, but babies don’t stop changing once they shape shift into people. When people die, they turn into skeletons, and the skeletons are made of bones which are worth a lot of money. After you die, you can sell your bones to
a weird dude on the internet (laughter) and he will pay top dollar
to own your skeleton and dress it up very sexy. (muffled laughter) He will kiss your skeleton. – [Buck] I can’t wait to
sell my bones after I die and get rich. I will buy a boat with my bone money. – [Glennn] Now we turn
to the United Nations, the building where all the
countries scream at each other. Our world news correspondent Dogboy… (laughter) Our world news
correspondent Dogboy Dimples is live on the scene to
tell us what happened today. Dogboy, what’s the scoopity doopity do? – Thanks Glennn with three n’s. Major news happened at
the United Nations today when all the countries
declared peace on each other so they could team up and kick my a**. Russia and America agreed to be friends and are planning to take turns paddling my sweet little behind
and twisting my nips ’til I scream for mercy. – Dogboy, it sounds like you are terrible and deserve all this. – Yes, Buck, I’m the worst. My stupid [Censored]
Face is annoying as hell, and my pie hole never stops yapping. – [Glennn] What else will
the United Nations do to you? – Well, Italy is going to hold my arms and Peru is going to hold my legs, so I can’t run away like
the little [Censored] I am. France is going to spit in my hair, and China will give me a wet willy. Then England will kick me hard in the ribs and all the countries will laugh, until they notice I’m not breathing. The countries will scream, “What the [Censored] Will we do? We went too far, oh [Censored]. The nations of the world
will then panic and run away. – Thanks Dogboy. We hate you, go [Censored] Yourself, and great work as always. – I say tornado, you say tornahdo. No matter how you pronounce it, the death toll is 85 dead and rising in the town of Smishburg, after a cyclone decimated it today. Our weatherperson Crystal Lake is on the scene of the tragedy. Crystal, tell us about that smushed city. – One second there was no tornado, the next second it was tornado time. The whole town is a [Censored] Mess, and I have a list of all the
buildings that were destroyed. – Please read it. You must read it. Read it now. – Okay, but only because I want to. The tornado wrecked the
town’s all-nude library. It demolished concussion stadium, the beloved football stadium where high school kids get concussions and their proud parents cheer “My son’s brain is broken now!” It destroyed the wax museum that only has statues of Robert Downey Jr. From when he was still addicted to drugs. The tornado also sucked all
the gorillas out of the town’s zoo and sent them flying
way high into the sky. Which is sad because they all died, but also was kinda
hilarious to watch because the gorillas were very surprised and had pretty goofy expressions. – Just horrible. I wish that tornado was a
person so it could go to jail. (laughter) (laughter) (laughter) – Yep. – I also wish the
tornado would go to jail. – It’s interesting you say that because the jail was also destroyed. (laughter) (laughter) – Amy’s crying. – Sorry the jail was also what, Crystal? – Destroyed. – Oh, bummer. (laughter) – And it wasn’t like
one of those bad jails. – You think that’s gonna help? Wow! – Jimmy Stewart. (laughter) – I think we’ve lost Crystal. – And it wasn’t like
one of those bad jails with, like, injustice. It was a cool, Johnny Cash-style jail that people make awesome songs about. Total bummer. – [Buck] Crystal, did they say how much it would cost to rebuild? – Oh they’re not gonna bother. I’m saying the nice stuff
about the town right now, but honestly it sucked. Mean people who deserved what they got. – Mean people suck. I saw that on a t-shirt once. That’s all the time we have for today. Before we go, we must
announce that today’s loser is Amy Vorpahl. Surprising no one. (laughter) Incredible. A near 100 percent meltdown. – I had my face planned and everything. (laughter) – [Dogboy] With her face planned? – I have a face that I can
do that makes me not laugh. But it didn’t work. – What is your face that
makes you not laugh? – I’m trying to do it it was. – [Buck] Yeah! That’s not funny at all. What a perfect parachute,
a ripcord for you to pull in case things get too silly. (laughter) – Stop! Please! – A fail-safe strategy
to never laugh again! (laughter) Let me try that, see if that works. (laughter) – Hello I’m Jim Jam
Smanglers the swindler cat. If you liked that video
there are ten full episodes of Breaking News that
will only be available on Dropout.tv. Start your free trial today. And now make way for Sam Riche, the manager cat. Wait I can’t sing! Can’t sing.
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Does the U.S. also agree that Trapp is a lil b****… after all he did kill pat.
Erika really got out of jail there
I'm so glad Amy explained the face at the end because I was so confused
The writer definitely had something against Trapp in this one. Haha 😂 damn
4:00 nobody can stop laughing.
Wow, Amy really pulled out in front late into the competition there.
Amy definitely railed some gear beforehand no doubt
Damn, Brennan is good. He's rapidly become my favorite CH personality.
Omg, Amy keeps laughing. xD It's adorable.
Spoiler: Erika doesn't lose this one
great episode. Everyone was wonderful
Holy shit, I was howling, and Brendan's breaks are the most hilarious
damn erika
Holy shit, this was so funny I'm actually considering Dropout now LMAO
This is genuinely hilarious.
I got an add for this while watching this
Erika is so gorgeous what ???? I heard like 2% of the script I was so distracted
*Me two minutes in*: Yep, Erika is going to lose.
*Me after video ends*: Ok, nevermind.
Love ya Amy! 😀
I legit scream laughed at this holy shit this is the best one yet
"I will buy a boat with my bone money" killed me
Brennan VS Katie would be so much fun to watch in this situation.
Nice attempts at not laughing. That was a very funny set. :3
Brennan is absolutely my jam. I could listen to him be stupid all day. More Brennan please!
I see Erika Ishii i click
That’s Amy Vorpal!
We want a Katie-Brennan duel! They are the most stone(d)-faced anchors yet! (and my bet is Katie would destroy Brennan)
thats the only TRUE news
Quality
I’ve never laughed so hard at an episode of collage humour. Wow
Amy’s jaw looks like it’s partying on MDMA
This actually hurt. My stomach help, the ending was amazing im still laughing
I have a headache from laughing so hard XD Amy is the best of us
usually i don't find these that funny (but always fun to watch), but this whole episode was incredible. also that could be a new strategy amy is on to, make a funny face for everyone else to laugh, but just ummm… make sure it won't make you laugh first. You could totally see her holding in her laugh so hard. and the problem is when you hold things in they come out worse than you expected. I am shocked Brennen only broke 5 times. What a master! Great writing too!
"NO! Not triangle face! … Triangle face scares me"
Love theses… 😭
Shout out to those violin players who had to keep playing that one note whenever someone laughed
I think this was the best one yet
Holy shit haven't laughed like in a while!
Congrats to Amy for taking everyone else down with her
Amy's face as she tries to not laugh is by far the funniest thing.
Nwm Brennan's laugh at the end was.
They are yet to invent a game Brennan isn't a champion of.
Oh Amy 😂😂😂😂
Lmao "Jimmy Stewart"
Amy is the opposite of Katie.
Damnit, this video gave me hiccups.
I feel you so much Amy no worries 😂😂😂
OMFG 😂 they broke Amy. – 43 for the win.
Amy and Erika probably have hella 8-packs now from all of that fucking laughing. XD
"Stahp! Please! It hurts!"
1. Didn't think anyone would outdo erika with that start, but Amy laughed for 2 solid minutes straight
2. Brennan has I C E in his veins
Is Brennan just unbeatable at everything?
My sides hurt and I was crying. Perfection.
In the beginning I was like “oh Erika’s definitely gonna lose” but oh boy…
They really need to do more of these
I need an episode with both Brennan and Katie at the same time to see who breaks first
@collegehumor make a second youtube channel with the uncensored versions of these awesome videos!
@collegehumor make a second youtube channel with the uncensored versions of these awesome videos!
The longer brennan is in this company, the better he gets
I literally nearly died from laughing too much
Would love to see them try this while stoned out of their f*cking minds.
Watching these with Brennan in them infinitely make them tougher I seriously don't know how I don't laugh through these but there are so many close calls
“Shady Tornady”
omg that was amazing
I almost died watching this lol
Amy's no laugh face is the death of everyone staying serious especially her
That was one of the best Bracking news videos I have seen and one of the most funniest ideas as well
like watching retards. but made me laugh
This is the greatest segment
i havent laughed this hard at a youtube video in years fr fr
I hate bnn. Its the worst part of collegehumor. Can you guys keep this segment over at drop out? SN: I still love you guys, though. Especially Brennan. Amirite? I mean grrrrr….🐅
Who else thought Brennan would only get -1 or 0?
Don't Laugh News: Meet these random new people edition
Holy shit when Amy went full cockney latchkey kid I think we both permanently broke
It's funnier when you watch it again
Amy cried while laughing and I cried here laughing at her laughing 😂😂
Wait… now that I'm in college, this is really College Humour for me.
Goddamnit I missed these episodes so much 😂😂 funniest shit ever
I need more of these segments. Thank you so much for making my day. My week. My month. My everything.
someone was enjoying writing Trapp's bit wayy too much 😉
BRENNAN'S WHEEZE AT THE END WAS BEAUTIFUL
I was wondering why she was making that weird face lol
Brennan is trying so hard to keep everything going so hard.
It's cool if you guys need to censor the swearing, but would you be able to do it with bleeps instead of muting it?
I like how Erika is the one who broke Amy with Tornado jail.
The cuts to amy frighten me.
Brennan is a god DAMN professional.
Well that went terribly awesome.
you tried
omg i loved amy, that face is so good
God I love Brennan, he is at a different level of comedy
Best Episode by now!
Winning this game is the only thing depression is good for
I laughed more than Amy. This show is amazing and their laughter is so infectious
These are the funniest videos
okay that was good, and brennan is a national treasure btw
I haven’t laughed this hard in forever. Holy shit…
The best one I've seen. Omfg Amy, you are the best.
Honestly, Brennan, MVP for picking up the dialogue when someone loses it! I'd love to see one of these with both Brennan and all-time All Star, Katie Maverich. The ultimate showdown…
Amy's faces were the best part of this run.