Vale: Game. Love. Parody. Cinemasins. Wut? More like Ratchet OR Clank, am I right? Am I right? This game is originally pitched as Ratchet and Clank: Clock Blockers. I don’t know whether to be impressed or not… Orvus: Have I ever told you about my son? Vale: No, Mario. You haven’t. please do tell. Also narration. Orvus: My son’s name is XJ-0461. But the universe knows him as “Clank.” Vale: Okay, so is it “XJ-0461” or “B5429671?” At least the first one’s easier to pronounce, but, y’know, come on, make your mind up- Oh, fuck, my boi Nefarious is back. Reset that sin count to muthafuckin zero, I didn’t give a flying shit! Nefarious: The HYPERSONIC BRAINWAVE SCRAMBLER!!! *Annoyance intensifies* Vale: The extremely powerful energy beings known as Zoni are defeated by the world’s most annoying boombox. *Nefarious cackles* AI: Backup Generator activated. Nefarious: What the?! He’s awake. Vale: Clank has learned the magic of Off-screen Teleportation. Opening the game with a Clank level, eh?
Ballsy move, Insomniac Sigmund: I’ll explain everything as soon as you’re safe sir, but right now we need to calibrate your ocular response processes. Vale: Nolan North isn’t being a ludonarrative dissonant treasure hunter in this scene. Ever notice how clanks jump changes randomly between games? Before this he could only glide, but now he can propel himself further into the air, and in the reboot he can double jump. Just pick one already. “Character isn’t looking where they’re going and almost steps right off a ledge” cliche. Nefarious: Go ahead… JUMP!!! *Maniacal laughter* Vale: Ratchet and Clank apparently encourages suicide. Qwark: Space… It’s huge… So huge, in fact, that if you lost your car keys in it… They would be almost impossible to find Vale: Not that you would lose car keys in space in the first place, seeing as driving a current space is practically impossible Qwark doesn’t look like a talking pile of silly putty any more, so that’s nice, I guess. Talon says this sector is crawling with Mercenaries It’s not a ratchet and clank game without completely ditching the love interest from the previous game And it’s not a ratchet and clank game without surviving some sort of High-velocity spaceship accident I know that was saved by a time anomaly, but they still technically survived so just we’re here I’ll find you another way across well You can’t just jump Because you sure couldn’t open one to something a catted a new type of bolt crank so that you wouldn’t just be holding the left Stick in a single direction any more concern first compatriots well-being testing quartz noble, Sidekick ninja leaps from stone to stone Hello, him six deadly inches of Crystal blue water. I think I’m getting ratchet and clank PS4 flashbacks all right You got it right now my bag down spoken like a true American One of the features on a sad note a returning newer games was the ability to paint weapons and customize them with several different parts I hope they at least bring back the ability to paint weapons in a future game. That was really neat There’s a boy go back there must be something wrong with the timekeepers nothing wrong can be outsiders Yeah, just wait until we get inside, then we’ll tell them all the deepest darkest secrets that’s river must be making trouble again We have to move everyone through the Village, ahh? vocal tics the most endearing of character traits Looking at you while the font fantasy-type height our bolts in these plants random kleptomaniac lombaxes will never think to look there I never understood the decision to introduce dialog trees from tools of destruction onwards. They add nothing aside from expelling additional Law that could have been dropped naturally through cutscenes operation Redshirt is a go Redshirt would imply that ratchets sole purpose is to be killed by the Story’s villain or some random Monster in place of the main character quark Surely knows at this point That is not at all capable of eliminating a galactic threat So wishing death upon Ratchet is a little foolhardy, okay? – surviving situations like this is to avoid phrases like it’s – quiet in here or everything’s going to be alright Walk proves yet again. It would be good at gaming since these lasers managed to instantaneously ignite a perfect circumference of ground around them Why not just have to wrap it as well instead of leaving him to come after you frog sounds pretty neat I guess Chamois gets outclassed by the constructor shotgun very quickly though. This is the last shred of technology in the entire Village I was always meaning to dismantle it, but now I’m glad I didn’t surprisingly send you applaud convenience is nowhere in sight What is this this ship sections are probably my favorite out of all the games mostly because they’re short and placing it on a 2D? Plane makes combat a lot more simplistic and easier to follow I wish there was more music No disrespect to bar salchow the composer some of the music here is great But there are too many sections to feel empty simply because there’s even no music like here but also because David Bird Jones, but Bajau Burger Burger whatever David Burgers music always fit the games better, and we’re generally more memorable by 3,000 years into the future and neil Patrick Harris is still a pop culture legend What a quart of sugar also one’s actually kind of challenging when he turns invisible you have to look around and try to hear where His Evil scuttling is coming from and if you don’t judge correctly dodging his melee attack is pretty difficult Really good boss battle I reckon as if his head wouldn’t have been crushed we interrupt this video game to bring you Super Mario Galaxy You know what ratchet and clank needs side-quests said no one ever ever notice How wildly inaccurate the constructor pistol is especially on these little challenge moons frankly? It’s kind of annoying one day and sameach will make a good pistol weapon again one thing. That is cool Though is the radio I’d assume that most people end up listening to pirate radio And they’re right to do so some of the songs sound like royalty free instrumental covers, but some songs actually sound surprisingly good Discount Joe Satriani trouble with your Mr.. Zerkin bring them in for a free consult with one of our experienced tax, Mr. Zerkin Cinta, no it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that needs maintenance. They just end up self-destructing anyway Haha, funny, but why would sigmund be holding on to a banana anyway apart from a silly sot gag link level? Yeah that you weren’t expecting that way I don’t know what the general consensus on clank levels in a cracking climber But the time Pad puzzles here are some of the best segments of not only clank levels, but the entire series I would love a game devoted to these time puzzles to be honest – five cents. Why not I? Do not understand have I been here before You didn’t think your soul came from a robot factory Did you robots have souls that explains the robotic zombies space pirate ghosts it only took seven years But clank finally gets his own weapon And no the began doesn’t count nor does the fever dream that is secret agent crank a good care It protects the equipment at all costs Yes, but what does he couldn’t do all in good time? My son all in good time my son you’ll find out when the plot allows for certain their Orbits had trouble with that one one then maybe all this isn’t always cracked up to be that puzzle was easy as fuck boy All these bolts are somehow being transferred to ratchet despite the fact that they are God knows how many light-years or parsecs apart there is one small I Don’t have the capacity for Love chance I was cursed by a tribe of sheeps religious when I was a kid, I knew I was in Christ if teenagers Also, one’s first name is flint get out of here get the fuck off this planet The people in this universe just given a choice as to whether they want to die in a fiery crash or not I apologize for the rules But we like to keep our operational wing from the prying eyes of galactic authorities honor They drag colonel campbell into this to being a battery bot must be a horrifying Existence your only purpose in life is to be crammed into a socket to Power Miscellaneous machines And you don’t even get a union truly terrifying while the dynamo of doom is actually pretty good in terms of damage output It’s still a motion controlled weapon, so no muscles are so blunt they barely leave a dent in this girl Ratchet had enough time to make a silly face say in not slow motion and deflect the bond with his wrench wait I thought my father was the only one to stay behind when the lombaxes left your fucking son of it Narc forget about it’s not worth it ah I say it is so rare alice descends before a well-timed button prompt confirms what you already know The expected reaction when sinking into a giant ball of fire come back to vandalize more equipment Mind your Manners any super intelligent being can see this is a different Lombax zoidberg would be good at gaming ‘then We’re clear, I think that’s all ok Unfunniest line in the game and that includes the dialogue that’s not supposed to be funny alice does death is funnier than this I can’t I do that you intend to Manhandle me I’ll have you know I am a level 16 wizard with nene ability Ain’t no Wizard with Melee ability Gonna scare me get the fuck off this planet None of these track nine here the evacuation notice and are presumed to by an oblivious death How many one back to does it take to destroy a light bulb just so you know I’m sorry I had to go so long without another Lombax to talk to I know you were alive I would have come for you ratchets pretty famous at this point. Having saved the world slash Galaxy Slash, whatever keeps you fuckers Happy Several times you can’t not have known about it Discount Corny Gears Terina, oh you and Libra. Hey, I you go True facts the first time I saw that I spat coke all over the TV screen. Good joke that clank level You should try one of the challenges. I programmed into your subconscious. I misinterpreted that as I programmed you with a mental handicap Have fun in reality the subconscious challenges are actually extremely difficult time Pad challenges I want to send these, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m sorry that that Brilliant Frustrating, but brilliant three thousand years into the future and portrait orientation is still a thing young to go our kind entrusted The pong voyage with a special gift the gift of time travel is your first mistake Trusting a generally dirty race with such an unstable power such as freaking time travel. Well. Here’s the deal I told you That a better stat isn’t the only thing that brings down clank levels in this game at the timer pass sections Which are just kind of dull in my opinion to go to lays bits and bobs floating around on the planet. What do they represent? are they Representations of giant Power Bi cones that are actually hovering above the planet’s surface in real life has everybody been crushed to death I will Be traveling to the tommy hel post on Sena fall and will not be back until morning a fellow scientist has requested an audience with me and Dedicating items are conclusive minds Baton while I’m gone whines the time Trina’s ended single fixture our Test oh that’s kind of sad actually Sigmund keeps officers fade a secret because well that was all this his last request damn dude Sorry I’ve seen you before Of course all this is presumed death could have been avoided if he hadn’t just buggered off to meet with a fellow scientist. Hey Er me I can’t imagine how it would feel to know someone’s last words to you were Brb Good girl. Take care my friend I could crack all sorts of jokes about Sanon ism And gender and whether or not libra should even be a valkyrie in the first place, but that is a rabbit hole I am not jumping down one major improvement in cracking time has over tools of destruction Devices are gone and the two most popular ones, Mr. Zircon and the Gravitron return an upgradable weapon form giving us a reason to use these weapons outside of having a bit of a laugh Captain forecast to remind everyone And yet the my blaster runs. Hot game is already available What is it 2004 can I just stop for a moment and gush about how beautiful this game is just look at this cutscene? Despite some slightly Blurry textures this looks amazing And when did this game come out 2009 Jesus christ dude? Unfortunately due to the elgato only being able to capture 720p at 60 FPs. I can’t do this game enough justice It’s sturdy and beautiful. I’m not sponsored by the way, but Insomniac yes, hi I am available even though I necessarily point out the flaws and cliches in your games, please. Yes, do give me your money Me, I don’t know why you gotta wait the cork’s approval the thing is trying to eat you star section Why does the frog shotgun me Demo anyway? How does that work? I like to imagine when feeding its throat lozenger viral of mother Fucking death this kind of second only to the bouncer, and you have no, right to argue The my blaster runs hot gimmick is purposefully overheating your blaster to shoot a larger and more powerful shot at the risk of becoming Vulnerable for a few seconds is Gonna Dino burrito Hey discount eye of the tiger All right, this is just swing swing by the all-American rejects. It’s not even discount swing swing They just remove the vocals I swear to God like listen to this swing by by a former self Hey, look I found the mud that makes my shotgun give enemies Tourette syndrome Why did I insist on bringing back ledge climbing it only ever gets used. Maybe once per game? times all of this There’s a rock ledge down there We used to hover brothel straight into nothingness general can we talk about what happened with my father? The Lombaxes no it’s not that time for construction and yet You’ve spent half of this level talking about the past w hypocrite did even with crack life’s gone I new steps needed to be taken to protect the Galaxy one day we were approached by an inventor with Incredible ideas technology light-years Beyond what we were using the inventor was someone Someone you thought of warned me not to trust hang on didn’t the lombaxes raise tachyon from an eGg. They made one mistake Not turning him into a gourmet breakfast But they made another when they completely forgot about the crag mark that they themselves raised does anyone ever use the plasma striker? Seriously, raise your hand good now get out dissection Why can’t I have a boots do that to Cetra might scare the Volton IV by phasing out of existence? So players do practically nothing in this oddly league Cavern, Orvis is trouble you must go to zanaffar and confront Dr.. Nefarious salmon Doctor the furry son set foot on that rock service station was completed two years ago Then that is when you must confront him in other words. We’re going back in time. You know the one thing We’re not supposed to do can you synthesize a time portal on tenifer? I? Suppose I could use the oculus gothic entanglement modulator to create a vacuum of negative energy theoretically creating a traversable wormhole Wide segment even able to do this so easily and quickly if it’s something that’s simply not supposed to do the consequences of time travel have been spelled out very clearly and yet everybody seems to want to do it even those who already know of the great clocks true purpose and the risks time travel imposes we turn back time and stop Tachyon a Present as you know it no longer exists. This is my only chance to save my family But at the end of tools of destruction you gave up on being with your family So you could be with clanks, so what’s different about this situation make up your mind you shithead. Oh that cryo mine Glob is pretty useless too. I guess Right back at you, man Why was the only circuit necessary you could have just carried the oil over or something? individual patient is getting Rescanned at the Party he competed you At least ratchets threw something at nefarious here, but it would have been better if he just shot him and killed him But you know certain if arias takes an explosive to the face and receives nothing but a crack in a loose eye Instead of trying to rescue all this like clank specifically asked ratchet Just sits there like a slack-jawed yokel, and that’s not very astute his thing Oh, but it’s okay ratchet says own through you, bitch. You’re further later on so it’s fine a feeling on takes and exceptions by default Trustee Pete judith piracy you can they do and every one of our pirate approved disciplines, Rod ruin pillaging Mastan Bilge Maintenance revenge killing and not tiring you knew a suicide joke was coming didn’t you oh? I Told you to leave me you should’ve come back you ungrateful shit would you rather die it will see the lombaxes again shrink level Oh, it’s you you gave the old ticker a start these cock puns are sign to take me off aha There’s your culprit now one could this thingamajig We doing clutter in your brain Subtlety clearly is in the story strong suit are you coming plumbers? Don’t just go diving down strange pipes. All willy-nilly I’d be ridiculous. You know Charles Martin a is in this game You could probably just tell him that yourself also Hardy-Har-har us like any father. I only is that my Important dialogue is cut off before the most important part of dialogue is revealed Cliche That’s an American power plug Isn’t it he telling me space is actually just America to Feria Syntax doing way too much damage for this to be an enjoyable 2D fighter Why doesn’t it ferry sustain brava doorbell? Unconvincing disguises unconvincing tonight’s top story new information on the disappearance of lum Beck’s Rebel Angela Cross I’m sorry have we confirmed that Angela cross is in fact a Lombax I know that was the assumption But she doesn’t have a tail female lombaxes don’t have tails kid in fact this just in lots of females Do not share the same anatomical traits as their male counterparts oh
I see well hence the set of horns sprouting on their dome of yours not that they confirm this but this doesn’t change the fact that she’s never acknowledged and you can just tell they added this to shut up all those annoying fans asking about Angela being a Lombax you know like Like like me fuck mother fucking spiral of courage That was a very sudden weather change looks nice though planck ends up near the base of this structure while falling but after ratchet hover boots down there to catch him he is suddenly above it ratchet and clank you bask in the afterglow of Cross-Species coitus after almost a year of going dry from this point ratchet is able to make use of clanks time bombs Except the puzzles they were supposed to be used in were cut and most people will probably never use them in a combat scenario These wall dom sections are giving me Sonic. Oh-6 flashbacks Yeah if my most ingenious Foolproof plan yet the fact that cork took all these pictures then went through the effort to put them into a stereoscopic Children’s toy makes me question why using the giggle oracle array? You’ll be able to scan him and create a holographic disguise for Roger Quark nurse Shannon has been hanging out with nefarious for a little while now He could’ve just scanned him himself herself Don’t judge odd and whatever gender you want to be hey look at the bright side At least we’re not being squished to death by the pistons Wow, it’s like the trash compactor was password protected by the woods at least we’re not being squished to death we interrupt this video game To bring you metal gear solid keys to do once the clock is under my control number one Double-Cross remaining batteries in retired Lord for too long seems a little pointless you have nothing to gain from double-crossing them And it’s unlikely they’d be double-crossing you and as usual It’s a complete mystery as to where clank is and what he’s feeling this lift is supposed to be coated in two nefarious Circuitry even a ratchet might be disguised as a pint-sized nefarious. He doesn’t have any so-called circuitry to activate the lift yeah oh Goody I get to press a button and they said my internet would be squandered under your employ I know, I’m taking off a lot of sins here, but lawrence hasn’t had any love yet poor Chap Oh shit rat you can finally jump and shoot while wearing a holla guys. What took so long Where am I where have I been what day is it tell me? What hey I’m going hey, how could they possibly have saved you you can’t just say they saved you any detail damn it, wha? my own image Warden only Trained way to the only town so healthy It’s true all the woods and lonely town choo Choo Janice Is this it appears that sony particulars during the crash I have nothing of value to add at this point There’s no time to contact elected authority yeah We’ll just go back and forth in time instead much quicker than a phone call Why their children hang about near an active war zone the fungoides are almost as terrible parents as goku is to go hon This area’s pretty much just have you upgraded all your weapons yet Hero is a ton of Xp feel free to die over and over again z and max out every weapon What were the chances that would happen you tell me ratchet? How did you know that planting seeds randomly would cause vines to grow through the time portal? oh
Because you’re the protagonist in the plot demands it instead of flying the ship around and making it extremely difficult for ratchet to shoot it down Argos hangs out in firing range and barely moves Faster still continues using his hover boots even though he has his portable helicopter friend back more or less rendering him useless Also, you can’t change from helipad to thruster pack or more importantly the robo wings shuts down the transport and Surrender quietly I don’t Know why anyone bothers with this it never works Berner? I an extremely powerful mad scientist and having trouble beating this guy I guess the only solution is to bringing significantly weaker minions. I never understood. Why bosses do this So have a great sort of pretty cool concept but they’re extremely hard to handle in this section the first time around I plummeted to My death like running out 10 times alistair Ex Machina also breathing in space Or the irony the one boxes need us. Don’t walk away from me on one hand ratchet has taken Lord knows how many rockets Explosives and bullets directly to the face and walked it off with nanotech despair So one measly shot from Allister’s Omni ranch would seem unlikely to kill ratchet in a single shot like that was it because he only Had his base armor equipped was it because they’d hit him square in the chest I don’t know doctor on the other hand Holy fuck ratchet died we thought the game was over and then alistar doesn’t complete 180 and kills the only other long box in existence Citation needed I’m sure people started coming from a mile away But I thought it was perfectly paced and executed you kidding me you think I’d leave my best Pal never father went to great lengths the Catfish mostly reviews I wouldn’t risk any more than six minutes Clank decides to go against everything over some sigma never taught him about the device that keeps him stabilized as time to rescue his best Friend on the random piece of advice a plumber gave him in his subconscious Wait, if that same shot made that structure explode should have ratchet of literally exploded when he got hit by it snatch It was right behind alistar this whole time and yet here he is nowhere to be seen genuinely good boss, battle head Not only is it emotionally driven, but alistar doubts all about the place and is somewhat hard to predict But you don’t take masses of pond masses of damage making this affair and fun fight Oh, you know just sitting here reflecting rockets No You wouldn’t have needed to die if you just gotten out of the way Look at out you had plenty of time to Dodge lets piccolo when you need them a bit of free esteem ratchet You should be proud of him You sure should you know after killing you trying to kill you again and almost ripping apart the very fabric of time and space itself Perhaps you are ready to be promoted Considering planks purpose was to look after the clock and sigmund was just some trash bottom planet Visser on this is a highly irresponsible Decision on clanks part and remember the universe has one Don’t you love? the Tricky Learning how to take a joke Can you tell that to the people who comment on these videos I stand corrected. This is absolutely the worst nickname. I’ve ever seen oh Okay, walk survive this I am your Kelvin that word has officially proved or mine Are you serious my dude get the fuck off this planet? the thing I like about the Insomniac Museum is that it kind of gives you some insight into the development process and why some features may be cut from the full release really interesting stuff and a pretty damn good reward for completing the game to A whole man that’s satisfying it’s like popping a zit that just keeps coming back Boy, this is going to be fun if azmuth is a friend of Kaden Then why doesn’t he know ratchets real name the quantum reflector is practically useless in combat? Except for the part where you take out the defenders and prepare Isa space station whenever enemy ships fire you the reflected energy bullets don’t Even hit them unless you get lucky I would honestly take a spin off simply for the existence of the grumble net weapon shots well They don’t add anything grand to the game They’re just so damn charming that I hope the guy who came up with them got a raise or something Take away either 30 or 50 cents for the 1812 overture that plays when you use the rhino 7 107 or 106 honestly Dunno either wait 30 or 50 cents a football boy This is my video you get one stem once in or on Cuantos and pretty much any planet with time anomalies Why did the ratchet end in that case Hawk is not affected by time anomalies? Sigmund explains why clank and sigma nods their protectors of time and all that but it never gets explained why ratchet ism? I want to find the person who came up with the tesla spikes and ask them. Why they hate everything good and innocent in this world Alternatively remove is sin for the spiral of death Which is the reason I’m lobbying for marriage between humans and weaponry Joey Doria isn’t being a retarded ghost butler in this sense retarded ghost but am I too Fucking old what the fuck you talking about if you load the vibration for the control and during the section of the pedia Where you get clank back it starts vibrating so hard if you leave it on the floor it starts moving four seconds on its own sideways really fast can confirm that thing sounds like a fucking dildo in that cuffs and the Master Switch lever in the office chamber is the weirdest design choice in the universe during heavy use the clock to time-travel But here’s a fuck-off huge lever and the most important part of the clock to literally do just that remember sin for the rift in Bruce’s new Hentai tentacle Monster brother Tachyon mentions in tools of destruction that the only two long boxes that stayed behind were ratchet and his father so what the fuck is Azmuth doing here shouldn’t tachyon have known about this rebel Lomax from the Polaris Galaxy before ratchet azmuth should be dead But I guess tachyon just overlooked his name in the fairy creatures I want to pulverize the laundry list did you know that the voice actor for Ratchet James Arnold Taylor? didn’t voice anyone and lost odyssey well someone’s going to take one for the team a Soft in the furious gives a huge monologue about his master plan instead of immediately Killing them after you saved as much from Lord voland. Why is he surprised the ratchet travel back in time He was the urban clank told him to go to identify to save oliver Azmuth has been around longer than ratchet has and should have known about the dimension ater and I’ve already used it considering he was willing To change all of time for his people I should think that this sim will be in your next video Or else you can fuck off mate Very well, and I think it’s time our partnership came to an end Hey, hello told not the hypersonic Brainwaves hi Okay, so when I give shout outs to quite a few of these cash crop stall channels But there’s so many good undiscovered ones through it’s just hard not to recommend all of them this time around I want to bring attention to as I play dying a channel I first discovered almost two years ago now through their strata playthrough, and they’re still uploading to this day or so Why not fuck are they earlier? 213 Subs this is criminal highly recommended if you’re into that kind of stuff if you want to check a minute follow the link in the description Completely forgot to start thinking my patreon supporters I know there’s only two of them right now, and it’s kind of sad on my part, but that’s fine I’m just thankful anybody would even consider Supporting me by actually giving me money like I say in my patreon bio whether you do or not. It’s totally up to you I’m not going to think more highly of Patrons or anything like that It’s just a little tip jar at this stage And you can choose the stick a dollar or two in there every month anyway to anybody who chooses to support me on Patreon Thank you so much Know you’re supposed to do by now. If you liked the video hit the thumbs up if didn’t hit the thumbs down I don’t care fight me also subscribe comment down below and Submissions for size Matters Tunes are open until the next review comes out don’t forget to tag them with the worst hash tag in existence hash tag wretched sins if you want to support me on Patreon join my discord server or check out as I play dying all the Links are in the description. See you guys soon.