Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

FBI Simulator (Larry David as Kevin Roberts) – SNL


– All right, cadets. You wanna be an FBI agent, you’ve gotta pass
firearm training. The street simulator is designed to evaluate your
ability to assess when and when not
to use deadly force. You will use this
infrared light pistol to shoot at our
lifelike target dummies. Some are harmless
civilians while others– – I’m gonna kill you. [gunshot] – Need to get dropped. – Damn, they’re so realistic. – Yeah, only the
best for you clowns. Any questions?
– [chuckles] Yeah, who’s got
the highest score in this game? – [mocks laughing]
Hilarious, O’Heely. You think o’ that
when you were sittin’ on the can this morning? – No, just now. – Well, why don’t
you go first since you’re so good at
warming up the crowd? Start her up! [Bell rings] – See you in hell. [buzzer]
[gunshot] – Nice shot. – My cat ran away. Help me. – Mm, good read. – I’m Kevin Roberts, and I’m the coolest bitch
in town. Where’s the party? [gunshot] [buzzer] – Hold it! O’Heely! You mind tellin’ me
why you just shot an innocent civilian? – I apologize. Thug with a gun, clearly bad. Nice old lady, obviously good. Then you got Kevin Roberts. I mean, I couldn’t get a read on a man in a neon suit
holding a big old cell phone claiming to be the
coolest bitch in town. He just didn’t
seem to fit a type. – Yeah, okay, this
simulator is designed to see how you’ll react
in the real world. And it’s not all
bank robbers and girl scouts out there, okay? There’s people
like Kevin Roberts, head scratchers, wild cards. And you don’t use your
weapon just because somebody confuses you. – Again, that was my bad. In my defense,
I’m pretty confident that type of man
does not exist in society. I mean, looks like he came
out of a 1980s computer game. – Yeah, thanks, O’Heely. We value your feedback. Let’s get back to it. [bell ringing] – I’m high on bath salt! [gunshot] – Oh no, I left my
backpack on the school bus. – Mm, there you go. Good control, O’Heely. – I’m Kevin Roberts, and I got
a very important question. Can a bitch get a doughnut? Now let’s dance! [’80s rock music] See you on the flip side. – Yo, did that guy just say,
“Can a bitch get a doughnut?” – Who in the hell
designed this thing? – Hey, keep your
head in the game. – Have you seen my
friend Kevin Roberts? ‘Cause I got that
bitch a doughnut. – Why does Kevin Roberts
have friends and a storyline? – Focus, do not
let it throw you. – I don’t mean any trouble. – Oh, he’s reaching
into his jacket. What’s he doing? What’s he got in there? – Breakin’ news,
Kevin Roberts just got to second base with a lady. [airhorn] – No! Go away, Kevin Roberts. – Die, pig. [gunshot] [buzzer] – And now you’re dead. Not good, O’Heely. – Kevin Roberts got in my head. He said he got to second
base and I was like, who would do that
with Kevin Roberts? If being a field agent
means dealing with human puzzles like
Kevin Roberts, maybe I belong behind a desk. Sorry I wasted
the Bureau’s time. – Don’t apologize
to me, O’Heely. You go apologize to
the portrait of the man who dedicated his life
to designing this simulator. [’80s music]

100 thoughts on “FBI Simulator (Larry David as Kevin Roberts) – SNL

  1. They got to do this again but the guy being trained is the new officer and there is more of a story line for Kevin Roberts

  2. If you watched the outtakes version it's the airhorn that keeps killing everyone, and in this one you can see Cecily holding back laughter during the airhorn again.

  3. After watching the behind the scenes in this sketch Im sure Keenan spent the beginning praying they don’t break!

  4. I was watching this at night with headphones and the sound from 4:03 in the audience creeped me out 😂

  5. I honestly can't explain why I find this is so funny… The acting and premise aren't that great but it's still had me cracking up.

  6. I have a theory. Kevin Roberts is Rad Agent Roberts, similar to Dread Pirate Roberts. That explains the whole different guy David S Pumpkins arc when clearly Roberts is David S Pumpkins in this. IT IS ALL CONNECTED.

  7. The dialog in this and the David Pumpkins sketch of people trying to figure out what the hell these wacky characters are doing is so well done.

  8. Actually Kevin Roberts takes the concentration away from the po leece so the criminals can do their stuff.
    He's a red herring.

  9. I dunno how they find extras who don't break AT ALL during these sketches. Seriously, they have the most stone-faced extras in the world on SNL. Does Lorne threaten to castrate anybody who laughs during the sketch?

  10. Hey guys you need some firearms training. Keep finger off trigger until you are planning to fire it.

  11. "Can a bitch get a donut?" Used this line at work on monday morning, got sent to HR then home. Guess my delivery wasn't as smooth as Kevin Roberts.

  12. Too bad liberals have decided it's the most racist/ sexist movie of all time. 😩😩😩
    You can't have Latino villians or a patriarchal society (all villains must be white men but that's not racist or sexist because all white men are evil).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *