Laughter is the Best Medicine

FLORPY | The Man-Child Comedy Stylings

(clapping) – [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Florpy! (silly music) – Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Thank you! My name is Florpy Newman
and a little known fact here before we get this thing started here, I am Paul Newman’s grandson,
the actor Paul Newman. Paul Newman most famously
known for his portrayal of the animated car in the
Disney Channel Short video based off the Pixar movie Cars called Mater Goes to Tokyo. It’s an honor to know him and
to have his blood inside me, which I do, I have his blood inside me. Well my family, the Newmans,
grew up in Pittsburgh hence the Pittsburgh right there. Now when I was a little boy
my mom said to Paul Newman “Hey daddy say something nice
about Florpy” and he says “Huh you’re a funny guy Florpy, I guess.” Wow, he didn’t have to say that, and I guess he was right, you know after all these years
working my craft very hard. Women are al–, you ever notice, every time you give a woman
a compliment about her outfit she gives you the price that it was, and the place that she bought it. “Hey I like your blouse,
it looks good on you.” “$25 at Kohls.” “Aw you know what, now
it’s kinda lost the allure. “I imagined that you hand
stitched it this morning.” Shut up about where you got it! (laughter) Give me a break. (silly music) She’s the same kind of woman that like, remember that girl in kindergarten when you know that, that steals
your firetruck at play time? You know you’re at toy time and then– I was at toy time and this
girl steals my firetruck, says “Hey can I borrow it real quick?” And I’m like yeah just for a little bit; never gives it back. I said “Hey, that’s my
firetruck, you have to share! “There’s more toys in the
box if you want more!” Give me a break, but of course
she didn’t give it back. (laughter) Give me a break! What else, what else… (slurping) You know so I went to
the barber the other day and this barber said to me “Do you need new product in your hair, you need new product in there? And I said “Yeah put an Xbox
in there, that’ll do it!” (silly music) You ever notice this? Why does the thermostat
go up to 100 degrees? You ever notice this? Who’s like, “Ooh I like to
curl up with a nice book, “turn it up to 100 and melt to death!” (laughter and clapping) Remember when we had to
read books for like class? Remember in kindergarten, god I remember, reading class, of course
you would read your books and afterwards you took
a test in the library and my pain in the neck reading teacher would lean over me during the test and make sure I didn’t cheat! Like, hey, hey back off lady, if I wanted to cheat
on the Berenstain Bears I would find a way trust me. (silly music) I remember this same girl
that stole my firetruck, when we were walking to lunch one day, you know everybody’s
supposed to hold hands in a single file line
and go to lunch together. She wouldn’t hold my hand
because ooh I’m a boy. Well, I wanted to hold your hand! I wanted to hold your hand. (silly music) (applause) Okay you guys know this
is my killer closer. If Snow White shagged a lot of boys and smoked a lot of weed,
wouldn’t she be a heigh ho?! Disney’s Snow White is the
best Disney movie there is, and there’s no ifs,
ands, or buts about it! The girl who stole my firetruck’s favorite movie was Snow White and it’s my favorite movie too. Well folks, that’s my time here, thank you so much, give me
a big round of applause! (cheering and silly music)

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