Laughter is the Best Medicine


Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Raft Now you remember I said long long ago um let me think of it now OH YEAH! “FUCK THE OCEAN!” THE OCEAN CAN GO DIE! I FUCKING HATE THE OCEAN! THE OCEAN IS NOTHING BUT DEATH” You remember that? You remember I said that? You remember what i said? YOU REMEMBER THAT? ANYWAY, You- an- A-At you guys’ suggestion And at Bob’s suggestion, as well, Here is “Raft” er- Wade- uh- My friends- My friends suggested this to me That I play Raft And euugh It involves my ABSOLUTE worst phobia. Like, my one 100% WORST PHOBIA We’re in the middle of the fucking ocean! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE AN ISLAND You have to build your own island… So, anyway.. That is not my construction I just loaded this up for the first time- MY NAME IS MARKIMOO- MY NAME IS… FUCK DA OH-SHEN Oh, come on Fuck dah OHSHIN- ugh My name is Mark hates… Mark- JUST MARK HATES Just Mark hates this ‘Cause Mark does hate- I dunno what the story is… There’s probably a very- *sees game* Woah *softly* I dunno what the fuck… I’ve never played this, I’ve never seen this, I’ve never looked up a tutorial about this- Oh, god What happens if you go in? Oh, god no Oh god OOOH GAWD NO OH- YOU CAN’T GO DOWN which is a nice thing Oh my god That reminds me, I need to play Stranded Deep again I dunno if there’s been any updates about this game, but- What the fuckin’ fuck…? Wh- OH OOOOHHH WHAAAT? WHA-ha-ha-ha-haaat? Whhhaat?? WHAT? hooOHHHH NOOO HI, FRIEND! OOOH NO Oh, that’s not good Oh, that’s- Oh, that’s not good WHY IS HE THERE? OH no… Oh no Okay, what do I do with this stuff that I’ve gotten?? OH NOOO Okay… So, I’ve got a- I- I understand I have to fish… The STUFF …Out of the ocean To be able to survive And- uhhh- There’s a shark That wants to kill me *Sniff* OOOH GOD Oh *cries* *More cries* Ok so there’s gotta be like a crafting menu right? … That’s how this stuff usually- THERE we go ok. So building hammer, axe Chop down trees? And the raft itself Fishing rod, I need that I guess But I can make a building hammer OH Instantaneous that is! Oh my god Oh no, let me just get this stuff. Hang on. Bloop, bloop Reach, *half hearted singing* reach out and touch faaith Reach out and touch death Alright so, I need to stop being such a bitch. Guys, you don’t understand. Guys you don’t-you don’t understand. Like you don’t understand. You may think it’s a joke at this point, I fuckin’ hate I HATE with a PASSION the ocean. I can’t believe I caught that. Okay. But I need to stop being a little baby I need to just get into it. I’m here I gotta make the most of this, I just gotta do. I can’t – I can’t be pessimistic about it. I gotta-I gotta make do. I’m just trying to get as much material as possible before I need to get goin’ here. I’m really good at this hook as I say immediately as I miss FUCK YOU! YOU MAKIN FUN OF ME OUT THERE?….. HUH? BARRY?!??! BARRY THE GREAT WHITE- GREGORY? GREG WAYNE? Wayne Brady.. I’m gonna call you Wayne Brady well fuck you didn’t like that one oh no.. I’M GONNA CALL YOU WAYNE BRADY Alright so Wayne Brady’s stalking me out in the ocean there *quietly* heboooski “Sorry about sisthy throw” *bwink* Shoop, nailed ya. Or missed ya Either-What is that? I want that, whatever that is. Let me just get these because I’m an opportunist. Okay, don’t miss this I didn’t miss it. I was just planning ShoooOOO BOINK Hey! That was pretty good. Hey, that’s pretty good. Okay. So now that I’ve got that. The crafting menu is tab? Yeah, tab. Fishing rod, I don’t have any rope Oh boy, OH Boy. Chest? Cooking station? Water purifier? Cropplot? Tree cropplot Item net?! I guess- I guess that’s good but I still did-OH You make rope with Ooh. Uhahl Okay, so that’s good, that means that I can set this up And be able to have that do that So what I’m gonna do, is I’m gonna have a I’m gonna I’m gonna I’m gonna get a I’m gonna get a-ooh, where-where’s Wayne Brady? Where’s Wayne Brady? Alright, so what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna start building more foundation. ‘Cause I mean, heck yeah. Ooh, alright, doodly do doodly doo do do do de de AH AHA AH AH AH OH GOD Okay, alright, oh God, oH God, oh man That is amazingly scary. That is astonishingly scary TRIPLE HEY WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! GET OFF MY FUCKING RAFT!!! HOW DO-I-I CAN build a – fucking Just fucking get- I can build a spear How do I build it? WHAT THE FUCK WAYNE BRADY YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WAYNE BRADY JESUS WAYNE WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? I’ve got a spear this time I ain’t GONNA FUCK AROUND WHEN IT COMES TO MY FUCKIN RAFT Don’t fuck on me I’ll fuck on you right back Don’t fu fucking Wayne Wayne, I’m f- I will not HESITATE TO FUCK YOU UP Okay, so my objective is eventually just to make one of everything because that’s what I want to do I should’ve made it more latitudially
*character starts coughing* so that I could’ve crafted a codmore(?) anyway Empty trash, empty tin can can be filled with salt water, that’s nice. Make more rope. ugaaah, might as well grab the stuff that’s floating right by Fuckin’ Wayne Don’t do it What are you doing Wayne? Oh WATER, I need water! OH GOD I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT HOW DO I GET WATER? Water purifier! This! I need this! Pure… put salt water Put this right here, three, put that there. Okay, uh uh it’s good, it’s good buddy Okay, then eight, get some salt water, fill, fill, okay and how do I put it-? How do I use you? Uhh, three, cook! cook! Okay, yay! Purify it FAAASTERR FAASTER This seems dangerous, I’m just gonna go ahead and say this It seems really dangerous to just have this on a fuckin’ boat in the middle of the ocean. I mean I know I’m desperate and all that but I should probably not do that. Is this ready yet? “Pick up drinkable water” Put more in there Alright, eight. Drink! *swallowing noise* YAAAY I did it! uhuhuh I don’t know Alright, fuckin’ Wayne Brady , don’t fuckin-don’t fuck on me, don’t fuck on me, don’t sneak on me Ah uh he’s gonna SNEAK ON ME Okay, heh, Barrel Barrel! thank you. Okay, got stuff and things and thatch Don’t even-I’ll fuck you up. I will fuck you up boy I will fuck you up Okay, I got-I got a potato so I I can cook something, I think. Yeah, I can. I can definitely do that. Ok. Just put that in Put that in… there Okay, four. Okay, that’s good That’s good. That’s good thus far. I’ve got a potato so I can cook that. “Pick up drinkable water” Let’s see, drink that. Okay Fill that, cook that, Okay Alright, more, yes, yes, yes. No, didn’t get that A du du duuuuuu Ah fuck *woosh of hook being thrown* I fucked up I fucked-I didn’t need to throw at all It’s really just like a hobby of mine to throw things into the ocean at random. You know, I know it’s not important but you know I just feel like it’s good exercise for me and Wayne Brady out here. Did I fucking get that potato? I did, it’s right here. Okay. *crunching of potato as it’s being eaten* That was a good potato! I think. Alright. Good thing there’s just a never ending stream of supplies but uhlugh olughl Sorry The demons tried to get out of my body This is, oddly enough, a really interesting system of doing it. Like you have an ever present threat. It really simplifies the survival experience in a really interesting way NOT IN A GOOD WAY THAT I LIKE, but you know in an interesting one. Doodly do, I already have ten cans, I don’t need more of those. Ooh perfect! Glug glug, okay! Glug, glug. I seem to have a good system here. I’d like to another one of these and I’m gonna do that. But now I’m gonna get another one of these. Gonna put that right… I’m gonna get like a station going. Boink okay Then put you in there, cook you up, cook you up cook you-do you think you can GET AWAY FROM ME!? DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY FROM THE MARKIPLIER?? NO, I HATE THE OCEAN and so should you Ok, get you, get you, get you, yes. Oh, don’t even think about it! I’LL FUCK YOU UP, I’LL FUCK YOU UP, I’LL FUCK YOU UP, I WILL FU- YEAH WAYNE BRADY HA YEAH GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WAYNE *quietly* I’ll fuck you up There better not be more of you as time goes on I have a funny feeling there’s gonna be more of you as time goes on. Ok, drinkable water, yeah, that’s what I like to see. Ok, so put that in three. Drug-glug glug okay. Then put this over here Fill, fill God damn it, there’s so much shit. Okay, I’m just gonna put the scrap, the wood and the wood. Spear over here. This here. Cook these up, boink, boink. Cook my potato, cook that up, that’s good. I don’t know where I’m getting all these potatoes from but-oh the BARRELS. Ahh Wayne Brady, don’t kill me, don’t kill me, don’t uuh I know they’re coming right for me but I just FEEL LIKE IT ERRUGGHHAA So now that I’m not panicking, let’s actually take a look at this. Cropplot, I should have a cropplot to try to make some sort of potato farm. Like that would make the most sense to me. So let me put this… Try to maximize space here. It doesn’t look good Ah, I guess I shouldn’t do that because eventually I’m just gonna build out so. Put that there. Let me try to plant a potato. Okay. Alright. Okay. Uhh drink, drink, fill, fill, cook, cook Okay. OOH double barrel Oh fuck. It’s like a double barrel shotgun of love. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. hi-YAAAAA Nailed it Fuckin’ got the scrap too Okay, that’s good. I got a palm seed. Well, that’s interesting, I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to get a palm seed out of that but.. okay. Oh fuck you Wayne Brady So what I need-OH tree cropplot. Okay that’s good A chest, tree cropplot, a fishing pole! That’d be good. That’s what I need, I need one of those! Get the rope going, more rope, I’m doing great! Is there anything else I could build? OH OOOH THAT’S AWESOME Oh that’s aweseome Okay, so, woahoh It doesn’t make a lot of sense in terms of selecting, oh my god. Okay, you know what? I’m just gonna make some more pillars out this way. Okay. So now that I’m wider, which is probably what I needed in the first place. Don’t- Wayne, Wayne, woah I thought I saw the tail of something big in the distance and I did not like what I saw. Oh boy. Okay, so, I dunno how-oh harvest! Two potatoes!? Okay! Plant one. Cook one Plant. Plant. Wait, how many potatoes did I have? Probably a lot apparently. Okay Soo, eee, stop it Stop it Okay, more potatoes! That’s good. I can just put this in here. Oh, it’s full. Oh, well I guess I can cook it then. I’ve got drinkable water. That’s nice. Okay, so I thi-I think I’ve got generally a system going on here. And it’s not too bad. Like I gotta admit. This is going pretty smoothly. I mean, so long as there aren’t more sharks appearing. I gotta get the whole cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway? up in my grill. So long as that doesn’t happen I sh-I should be generally okay. Oh Wayne Brady’s B-lining. OAH that’s terrifying. DON’T DO IT WAYNE WAYNE WAYNE THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE DOING Okay, alright, that’s good. You thought about that. NO WAYNE NO I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING NO WAYNE WAYNE NOO NO NO MEANS NO STRANGER DANGER Do I need to repair that or somethin’? Oh shit. Woaah That’s COOL OH I WANT THAT I don’t know what I’m gonna do with that but I want it. I wanna build other floors. Oh shit. Is that Wayne? or is that someone else? That better not-Okay, I’m gonna try to fiish. Huuhhh I love fishing Fishing’s cool I don’t know when… dop HEY, I got a fish, I got a raw Mackerel, woah Hey, don’t look at me li-oh shit Don’t look at me like that OOH You went on there real quick. Okay Well, I mean, I’m doing oddly good for myself. Maybe I could just use this as like a platform to dive head first into the mouth of the fucking shark Okay, got these. dooby de doop boop boop boop Man I’m gonna need more cookers. That’s what I’m gonna need. I need-I need to put them in a better place anyway. I could put them under here, that might be nice. No, not that. Seven. Boop, there we go, good. Eight. AW I can’t put another! AW that’s stupid I could fit it right here though. *mocking voice* “‘R’ to rotate” Right there. That’ll be good. That’s good. Then I put my potatoes there. Woah shit, missing a lot of shit. Doodly doo Okay Hol-woaah mackerel Contains a lot of protein HELL yeah Okay, so I’m gonna eat this up. Oh shit, that’s nice Plant these seeds Oh, shit, come back here! Come back, come back. Ooooh, don’t come back There’s been a lot less supplies than I was hoping there’d be. And they seem to all be drifting over that way now. So maybe I built too far over in one direction and it’s kinda limiting the flow But then again, that could be a good thing. ‘Cause there was-there was another material I could have built. Like um There’s this net thing Use to catch items floating by So how does this work? OOOOHH Oh, that’s really cool. Okay So then you can just walk over here I could build out completely this way And then I would catch everything that I need But I don’t have enough already. I need more… I need to make more rope Okay, I’ve got a lot more nets now. So I’m gonna boop that I’m gonna boop this Boop. That’s a nice boop. Ah man, that’s a-that’s a sweet boop! Ah, that’s a nice net! Alright, now Wayne, do not fuck up my Goddamn net. I swear Also, I swear that as soon as I put those nets over there, it started putting all the other things on the wrong side. ITS NOT MY FAULT They just did it that way Alright so I need the drinkable water. I need to put the rope away, I need to grab the thatch. I need to grab all the goodies, the scrap. I don’t understand how the metals floating but I’m not gonna question reality when I’m desperate. Need to drink the water, need to put the-fill the cans, need to put ’em cookin OH, AH MY NET YES YES YES MY SWEET NET HELL YEAH Awesome That works great. That works wonderfully. Look at this sweet catch bruh Okay So now that I’m doing relatively alright, I-I want to get more nets out there but I’m just gonna hold off for now I’m going to build Eeeh nah, I’m gonna hold off. So now that I’ve got enough supplies, I think I’m gonna start building Aw jeez Wayne’s being a bit of a bitch But that’s okay, I’ll forgive him Okay, so I’m gonna build I’m gonna build up, I’m gonna build up. I don’t need-well I guess I do need more foundation over here but I’m gonna kinda build like a- Oh, HEY DID THAT BOTHER YOU WAYNE? HUH? NNO NO STOP STOP Jesus Christ, that asshole! Alright, so now that I got what I needed I’m gonna build a second floor because I’m very ambitious like that. So I want to build… I guess I’ll need a pillar Kind of a… pillar right? I’ll need a pillar. Yeah? I think so. Yeah I’m pretty sure. Then I need a floor. Ooh uh huh hahaha Well that’s interesting but I don’t know what the benefit of having this is. Alright, this IS MY PERCH IT’S MY LONELINESS PERCH ITS WHERE I GO TO SHOUT HOW LONELY I AM AT TIMES JUST HAD TO STOP AND GET THIS STUFF BEFORE I DECLARE MY LONELINESS TO THE WORLD ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY READY? AH THAT’S A GOOD HORIZON TO LOOK UPON I’M LONELY I HAVE NO FRIIEENDS I HAVE NO WIIIIFE MY KIDS ARE DEAAAAD Was that good? Good amount of loneliness? Hey WAYNE BRADY ALL MY FRIENDS THAT I HAD HAAATE ME I GOT FIRED FROM MY JOOOB I’VE NEVER PUT MONEY IN MY PENSION PLAAN I HATE SHAAARKS Okay, alright, thanks-thanks Wayne. Thanks for listening to my loneliness, I’m glad that I got assembled items while I was being incredibly lonely. Just, you know, it’s a good change of pace. Alright, so, what else can I make? What else can I make? A tree cropplot. I could put that up on my loneliness perch. Well that do- That does not fit on my loneliness perch. Well, this seems ah- this seems this seems too big But oh well, you know what? Markiplier’s not efficient, that’s for damn sure. If it fits, I like it. Alright, so I’m gonna build a palm tree apparently. OKAY Just gonna wait a couple hours for that to finish up. Gonna drink my drinkable water in the meantime. Gonna go have some drinkable water Good water, drinkable. It’s good, drinkable and stuff. Anyway, back up on my loneliness perch. Let’s see. Ahhh what-what direction have I not declared my loneliness? I don’t think I’ve done it this way yet. Hmm Okay. Alright then. I’M INCABABLE OF FEELING LOOOVE I DON’T EVEN HAVE A BEAC- What the FUCK- WAYNE What the fuck was that? Ooh, I didn’t like that. I DON’T EVEN HAVE A BEACH BALL TO BE MY FRIIEEND I don’t even have Tiny Box Tim to be my friend… Oh thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. OOH It’s tiny. I don’t think that’s how those things grow. I also don’t think that I could see them grow right before my eyes. Well that’s bizarre. That is just the weirdest I don’t know where I got all this dirt from But who am I to complain about free dirt? Okay Build more, let’s build more of these bad boys over here. Yeah, what do you think of that Wayne?! HUH? Right. fuckin’ asshole. Maybe if I build some walls it might funnel my loneliness. OOH Where did get the cloth? I dunno, whatever. Can I build another one? Can I build one more of those bad boys up here? Please? Pretty please? Please? Fine. HEEEY FUCKING WAYNE FUCKING WAYNE, GOD DAMN IT WAYNE-Oh Oh Oh! OOH OHOHOHHHOH I kil-oh shit I killed Wayne I don’t think I was supposed to kill Wayne. Oh I don’t-I don’t think anything likes me killing Wayne.. Ooh Something tells me that might’ve been a bad idea Oh, I shouldn’t have killed Wayne. Oh no! Now that I think about it Wayne might’ve been my only friend in this horrible survival circumstance. My only friend is trying to kill me. How appropriate. Oh well, whatever. Get me out of this fuckin-fucking fuck Okay, alright then. SO, anyway, I think that’s about the long and the short of the game. I don’t know what the end goal is just other than survival. There’s not much else to do. I’m gonna-I’m gonna taunt this guy. You know what? I’m so lonely maybe I’m just gonna hug it out with a bro Uh ohh ooohhhaho hey ueh *character grunting in pain* *very quietly laughing* *laughter* What an anti-climatic end Oh well, anyway. so that was Raft This game is available on And it’s not bad. There’s some potential here. It’s a bit too simplified though. I think it needs more elements to it but I like the concept. The concept is interesting. So long as you can make the threats kind of incrementally get better. I think like there needs to be a weather system. There needs to be like crisis’s. There need to be like you know, other stuff. More dangerous. More sharks and all that stuff. but either way It’s pretty cool So thank you everybody so much for watching. Let me know what you thought of it down in the comments below. And as always, I will see you in the next video! BUH-BYE *outro music*

100 thoughts on “FRICK THE OCEAN | Raft

  1. I'm like markiplier and that crazy space core from portal…

  2. Best intro ever. My favorite intro in all his videos ever. He starts off by being polite and saying hi then immediately saying f** the ocean.

  3. Everyone that will watch this again go to the 0:00 and then put it to the slowest u can then listen to wat he says up too 0:12

  4. 3:21

    Oh trust me, I understand extremely well.
    I tired playing this game but I just can’t.

    The ocean sucks, Poseidon needs to move somewhere else

  5. So he got to go back and rename videos since the Youtube algorithm flags videos for demonetization? It didnt use to be called "Frick". This bullshit is ridiculous.

  6. Guys, you don't understand. I hattte, I mean with a passion, the ocean.

    Heyyy! Me too bud. It's terrifying.

  7. HdjsjhfjjdkKFCHDOKOSJCHJZIDJNDNHSUDHBDBBDHDUE7HDBDHHEJDNNDHEI👉👊👍✌👍✌☝♌✳💔✳🔯♊👍✊👉👌👉👌👌👉✊✊👉✊👉👉👉✋☝👎💔♒⛎♓♈♒its dark in her

  8. Fuck the ocean honestly though. We don’t know crap about it besides the very surface I mean I’m sure there are Dino sharks in there I don’t care I’m even scared of puffer fish screw all that if I can’t see the bottom I ain’t going in.


  10. Mark: *curses 50 times in a video
    YouTube: yeah that’s fine. Hey here’s some ads bro
    PewDiePie: *says Frick
    YouTube: *inhales. UNACCEPTAAABBLLLLLE

  11. Y’know I HATE the ocean…… but my family has decided that we are going to live on a boat….I’m only okay with it cause I get my own room and a knife.

  12. You can see sharks as things that are gonna kill you or you can see sharks as food. :3
    I mean, as long as there are just like one or two of them. If there are like five then it's hard to think of them as food……………

  13. Mark and I share the same phobia.. I blacked out while watching a documentary about the lochnes monster and many other undiscovered deep sea monsters in class and I woke up to everyone freaking out
    I fucking HATE THE O C E A N
    More specifically what I dont know is in it

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