I wasn’t in love with him and I was just helping
out a friend. Please! When he left town you stayed in your
pyjamas for a month. And! I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
(Gasp!) Well? Didn’t you? I.. Might have.. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. Oh come on. Like you tell me everything? What have I not told you? Oh! I don’t know. Uhm. How about the fact that the underwear out
there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with fun Bobby out on the terrace? What! Wait a minute! Who told you? You are dead meat! I didnt know it was a big secret. Oh its not big. Not at all. You know, kinda in the same lines as.. Say
oh I don’t know.. Having a third nipple!
(Gasp!) You have a third nipple? You bitch! Whip it out! Whip it out! No! Come one! There’s nothing to see.
It’s just a tiny bump, it’s totally useless. Oh as oppose as your other multi-functional nipples? I cant believe you! You told me it was a nubbin. Joey what do you think a nubbin was? I don’t know, you see something, you hear a word I thought that was what it was. Let me see it again!
(Shouting yeah yeah) Joey was in a porno movie! If I’m going down I’m taking everybody with me. Oh my god! All right all right all right! I was young
and I just wanted a job, okay? But at the last minute I couldn’t go through
with it. So they let me be the guy who comes in and
fixes the copier, but cant! Because there are people having sex on it. Wow. That is wild! So what’s it shaped like?
Yeah is there a hair on it? What happens if you flick it? Let’s go. Oh! Yeah about telling mom and dad I was thinking about maybe writing a letter. Right, you know what? That’s it.
You’ve had your chance. Mom, dad. Ross smoked pot in college. What!? You are such an tattletale! Mom, dad. You remember that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana? Both: Yes. Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but, it was me.
I’m sorry. It was you? And dad: you know that mailman you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboys, Ross did! Yeah well hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did! Ross hasn’t worked in the museum for a year! Monica and Chandler are living together! Ross has married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced! Again! I love Jacques Cousteau! I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle! I wanna gooo! Really? So why don’t you tell me what happened to Ross Junior Year in Disneyland? Oh no no I can’t do that. If you tell me I tell you what Phoebe said Okay!
Okay! So Ross and I were going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant I mean a guy, a hibachi and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about ten tacos and anyway, we’re on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little.. iffy. Oh my god.. He threw up? No he visited a town a little south of throw up. Uhh.. Those are tacos? Excuse me mister Mexico. Either way, I’ll pass. Still can’t eat those. You told her! Nancy Thompson is getting fired! Okay okay I had food poisoning. It’s not like I chose to do it! It’s not like I said ‘Huh what would make this ride more fun’. Right. Honey I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! How could you tell her? I had to okay?
Were getting married. Married couples can’t keep secrets from one another. Oh really? Well I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City. Dude! What happened in Atlantic City? Well Chandler and I were in a bar. Did you not hear me say dude! And this girl is making eyes at Chandler. Okay? So after a while he goes over to her and uh after a minute or two I see them kissing. Now I know what you’re thinking
Chandler is not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls and you’re right: Chandler is not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.. You kissed a guy!? In my defense it was dark
and he was a very pretty guy! I laughed so hard Hoho! So hard we had to trow out your underwear again? Whatever dude, you kissed a guy. You want to know secrets?
Okay! Okay! In college Ross used to wear leg warmers. All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won! Ross came in fourth and cried! Oh my god. Oh is that funny? Oh you find that funny? Well maybe Chandler should know
some of your secrets too. I already told him everything. You shush! Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner so she ate the macaroni of a jewelry box she made. Ross used to stay home every Saturday night
to watch Golden Girls. Monica couldn’t tell time until she was thirteen! It’s hard for some people! Of course it is. Chandler one time wore my underwear to work. Hey! I’m sorry I couldn’t think of anymore for Ross. In college Chandler got drunk and slept with
the lady who cleaned our dorm. That was you. Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.