Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

FUNNIEST Auditions On Britain And America's Got Talent 2019! | Got Talent Global



Make some noise Great to be back great to be back. Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a while. It's been a while and I've been enjoying fatherhood Like any new parent I think the first thing we want to do is give our child something that we missed out on in our own child, right? Yeah for that for me. That one thing is the opportunity to pay Compare its playing is not allowed ladies and gentlemen all My friends were allowed to play every Saturday morning at 8 a.m. That will come outside my house and I'd be like, mr. Hannon Mr. Hannon can coach a comment player I'll be standing next to my dad inside the house and he will say go downstairs and tell them you are not here When Roman gets old enough to go to school I hope he has fun games Like I did my favorite game in school was kiss chase, right? Kiss chase had very simple rules, right? The boys will get chase the girls and they'll give them a kiss on the cheek Okay, but you can never catch the pretty girls. Could you? They were fast You could catch them for nothing but like Asian gentleman then then there were girls that look like David and Simon Those girls for two seconds right and they'd always fall over by accident What kind of job is Roman gonna have when he's older because ladies and gentlemen every job I had before I did stand-up I absolutely hated hated it right guys. There's anybody in it hated their job so bad, but you Bet you practice your sick voice The bathroom is always the best place to practice This sounds amazing in the bathroom, right and whether you're male or female we all had the same sick voice I practice my sick boys for so long. I forgot what the excuse was To meet my boss my boss boss Yes, I'll come in today what I just did my ankle In the first edition ladies gentlemen You may have heard me talk about my father right and I gave him a little bit of stick However, however, I've got to tell you a good moment when my dad delivered he delivered the age of 16 My dad allowed me to go to my first ever house party. Ladies and gentlemen It's emotional dad Mike was having a party. Can I go? For what? Because it's gonna be fun you can have fun here I Wanna go over there and have fun. Okay. I will let you go. But tonight you will be Cinderella In this house at 12:00 midnight 1:00 not 11:59 12:00 midnight I'm 16 years old I get to go to my favorite thing, which is the party right? It was so good I came home at 3:00 a.m. In the morning. I Was so scared because at night everything sounds loud A.m. In the morning. I got to my front door. I opened it Up stairs towards my bedroom In on me Got the loop of a nice time ladies and gentlemen, I used to be mixed-race. This is a bruise Hi, what's your name? I'm Jimmy Tom Lee. I'm from Devon. I'm 64 years old. You look amazing Jimmy did you bring anyone with you? I've got eight children. I've got five the partners got three and she's here with two my kids Jimmy what do you do for a living? I'm a professional ventriloquist of invention of crystal over 40 years I've done pub sink labs even children's birthday parties Okay, the stage is yours Jimmy good. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, I need help from a couple of people and any volunteers Will be please help me. Welcome a stage David and Amanda Hey, man, they thank you you just face this way guys and I just stick this around you will chops Amanda. What's that? Oh, wow, it's just the beautiful fit. Would you both like to turn around? And then there you are a George dropping So I'm Tiffany hobbies are these you've got obvious over yeah, what did I do? I like skipping So there's some skipping here tonight David, I'd love to Actually fat man that we got some skipping music really good Another hobby what should other hobby David? I like ballet dancing I love to go Dali dancing. I love it We like to belly dance tonight. I'd love to Thank you, I just remembered was not David I've got another hobby You know what it is I try to think I don't know as other I'll be asking Rocky David striptease Music here we go. Nice and sexy Yes Sorry-sorry then Yeah What do you reckon baby yes for me Thank you so much not do that sober that's crazy Yes, I'm excited man, I don't know I do most things so I don't really drink I don't like the way out the hall it tastes Everybody no alcohol nasty. I know this because I've never seen anybody take a shot and not slap a table. That's I know You see someone's face when they take a shot they just It just makes you dizzy like if you can't afford alcohol just start spinning in circles, that's all you need to do What you doing, girl? You know, I don't get paid til Friday. I'm tired Shop Stanford comedies pretty cool One of the only jobs you can drink and and work my last job I could do that as well My laughs I was great. I made a lot of money I got to choose my hours who's a great job its pros and cons of drug dealing but for the most part my god I just so well, you know, I just they great The job before that I used to work at a gym, you know It's funny when you work at a gym you notice things right like you notice that men that go to gym men only work out Their upper body rack. It's a dump like good. Well, I don't wanna keep bobsleigh. That's cool breath, but leg day, right? Got all these men walking around body shaped like the letter T like you look dumb You belong on Sesame Street. That's where you belong as Today's word is testosterone. Who are that's where? You belong Women do the exact opposite cuz women want a big booty, but they don't want to get buff, right? so you got all these women walking around body shaped like a t-rex think of they find like No Look like a really attractive ostrich right now. That's what you look like We're not so afraid of getting but they are so afraid, you know, you got minimus Yeah, I'm trying so hard to give up and they can't they can't get big women think they just gonna pick up one dumbbell Just one like hey What this dumbbell – hmm I Just want to pick it up and see what it does. Okay, I just want to pick it up and see what it does It's not I want to do okay. I just want to sue Katrina Right y'all better Laflin shogi customer 695 man, my name is Bridgette losses. Thank you so much Run minute stop I mean rivets Whatever on sega is Unbeliev Welcome what's your name? My name is Brandon coppers. Do you know that Terry two is a flautist. Oh Maybe something like that. We've heard in the flautist streets that We'll see. There's not too many of us boys playing the flute. So we gotta represent I know that people like playing them. Does anyone like listening to them? You know the fruits are very beautiful and dynamic instrument there's something for everybody in it Okay. Well, it's all yours. All right. Thank you guys Since these guys liked it so much we hated it. I'm gonna say no you can do it again for them. Goodbye You

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