Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

FUNNIEST COMEBACK TEXTS


[Captions by Judy V. at Y Translator]
We all know that one person who’s always trying
to be smart with you… DigitalNext So today… Did you all see that? My bottom eyelashes
and my top eyelashes just sandwich and stuck together. So today’s video is
people who are smart-asses. Do you know what Sin City is? Yeah. That’s Las Vegas. Do you know what density is? No. Mass over volume. Every day, I lose more friends. Text this to your friends. See what they say. You up? I’m sleeping. Deadass. I do this though. It’s like somebody
text me to do something, when I’m already in bed, no, nah ah, I’m sleeping. Catch me tomorrow. Are you out? Yeah, always out. Where you headed? Death is the ultimate destination. But we all make stops along the way. I have a headache. Let me see. See my headache? Yeah. Here is my head. Damn, looks painful. Delete my number. Stop, stop. Just stop. Just… This is why no one likes you. So, this girl is talking
to this guy on this dating app. And he’s like, U got Kik?! Yeah! But you’re 30, So you’re past my age range. Awwww, come on. Let’s Kik on there. Awwww, how about no? Give me a chance to be friends. I’ll send you a pic first. You like, we can text on there. Deal? Let me ask my mom first. Wait, aren’t you 22? I just want to be safe. The internet is full of creeps. Okay, but your 22? If so, send me your Kik. Sorry. She said no. You ain’t never too old
to ask your mom for permission. And if she says no, then it means no! You don’t want to talk
to a guy or a girl, just be like,
“My mom said I can’t talk to you.” She came first. She called the shots around here. She beating your ass and my ass. Why are there cups
and dishes in your room? They belong in a kitchen. Ha! Just like a woman. A woman is more likely to be in
a kitchen than in your bedroom. Mom got you good. Now, go pick up those dishes. Bro, I just got laid. It was epic. Look who you are texting. Sh— Get home now. April fools! It’s December. Get your ass home now. December fools! HOME NOW! He trying to be smart with Mom, but it did not work. I’m sitting here wondering
how somebody who says, “It was epic”! got himself laid. I just drew a thing, and my fingers are tired. I wanna see. Here’s a picture of my sore fingers. This is what you wanted. You can’t really
tell from the pic, but take my word for it. Like, what you mean you want to see? He was probably talking
about the drawing, but here’s my hand. Take my word for it. It’s real tired. I washed your clothes
and humped them in your closet. Is there a reason
you humped my clothes, father? Boy, you know what I meant. Y’all know autocorrect is the thing, right? The hell would I
hump your clothes for? Here, I’m just
softening them up for you. Y’all know what he meant. But you know sometimes,
you just gotta make sure. Somebody posted, Post No Fliers. No no no no no no no no! Take that! Stupid ass yellow sign. I’m a rebel just for kicks. Rebel with a cause. There were 4 ghosts. Then one ghost flew away. How many ghosts are left? 4 minus 1 equals 0 because ghosts are not real. Dang, at eight years old, this kid knows
that ghosts are not real. Tell that to whoever’s
living in my attic. Making all those creepy ass sounds. Opening and closing my doors. Probably watching me right now. Yeah, ghosts are not real. I used to think that too. This person had a missing X-acto knife, and then they decided to make a sign. Who took my X-acto knife? And then they came back the next day. It was me. So, somebody did take it, and they carved out, IT WAS ME, with my X-acto knife. You won’t get away with this. I will find you, and I will take it back from you. Purple marker missing! Please return it. ASAP! And the person
with the purple marker, No!!! It’s his purple marker now. Don’t try to take it back from him. My roommate said they left me a slice. That’s a slice, all right. A slice with a slice sliced out. It’s still a slice. I mean, I heard of people
leaving a tiny ass slice, but they just sliced the slice. Y’all just assholes for this. So, there is this sign. Obviously, it’s the
wash your hand sign, and it said,
please wash your hands. But somebody covered that, and put,
please hide your potato. No, that I look at it, I can’t unsee it. It’s literally, they’re hiding a potato, but where? So, if you go to a public bathroom, you ever see this sign, remember it means hide your potato. So if you have a potato on you, I don’t know,
put it in your pocket, put in your shirt, eat it. People are gonna come after it. I can’t believe somebody
really had to make this sign. Not A Urinal! Because somebody decided to pee in it. Are you sure? Yes! It is clearly a vent. I see it. I don’t know. Somebody got piss drunk. Okay, yeah. That’s probably
exactly what happened, and decided, hey, it’s white, and it is on the wall, so, you know what that means. Nasty. I caught a fly. Kill it. I let it go. Why? Flies are assholes. So are boyfriends, but we still let those lives. Wow. She got you good. And yes, why do we let those leave? Why do you kill
flies but not boyfriends? One, it’ll put you in jail. Dang it! Dad, guess what! You’re on the edge of a cliff, and you’re hanging on for dear life, and you wanted your
last text to be to me? No. You just won the lottery, and you realized you have cancer, and you want to
put me in your will? Dad, forget about it. Okay? You found out you
have X-ray vision, and you want me
to take you to Hooters? Dang! Get you a dad like this. We’d love a Dad with jokes. I mean you can’t say anything to this Dad. This is what anxiety looks like. Like you’re trying
to tell somebody something, but they won’t
shut up and let you talk. Fill in the blanks. I’m gonna give you
a second to look over this. [music] Books. Random. Fork. Pants. Pulse. Six. Ha, too easy bro. What? Impossible! What kind of mind do you have? A mature one. I like… He got all of them. I bet if I give this to my mom, she would give me the same list. Me on the other hand, Wow, that’s completely
different from what I got. Hi! We met at Austin’s house. Do you remember? Hi. Yeah I remember. Did you hear?
He got out of jail? Please reply to me. I have a question for you, beautiful. Yeah, I heard. Haha! What’s your question? Please send a
picture of your feet, okay. Why? Because I like feet? I’m sure you have beutiful feet. Please just show me. How’d you get my number? Feet, please. Stupid b****! Let me tell you, there’s this guy
that’s followed me for years, and every time I stream, he would come into the stream, and ask me to show feet. Literally, for years! These feet people,
they’re like hella devoted. But I want to know, what do y’all think of these feet? By the way,
today is a very rare occasion. My nails match. Upgrade. Nudes? Let’s roleplay first. Be a bank owner, and I’ll be the robber. Okay! Hi Miss, how can I help you? Are you a bank? Yes. Then leave me a loan. Wait, what? You heard me. Leave me a loan, as in, get the hell out of here. Scram! She finessed his ass. What would you do
if I broke up with you? Get back with my ex. Now, I see how much you care. I’m done. Hey, you wanna go out? Go with your ex. You are my ex. Oh, she planned this from the start. Too smart for you. I mean, she said, I would get back with my ex. You my ex. Oh, look at you. Oh, you cute, stupid little ex. Are you full bred American? Yeah, my dad’s a bald eagle, and my mom is a Big Mac. Doesn’t get more American than that. You all have a new nephew. Born about 9:30. Seven pounds, 12 ounces. Baby and mom and dad doing great. To be named tomorrow. Tomorrow is a really
stupid name for a baby. He’s right. Also, who cares
how much a baby weighs? Why do people always say, oh, my baby, he weighed this much. But what does it mean? Oh, wow. That is an excellent weight to weigh. What? WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET TOMORROW? Why are you yelling? IT’S LONG DISTANCE. I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN HEAR. Guys, guys, life advice. If you’re texting somebody
who lives far away from you, make sure you type in caps, so they can hear you, because they’re far away. Then you want to make sure
they’re getting your text. Life hacks for you. My Uber Eats delivery man
decided to be a smartass. Who is this? Hello, your Uber Eats order is here. Oh coming! Are you at the main entrance? No, I’m on top of the building. I just landed my helicopter. Yes, I’m at the main entrance. I mean you don’t know this. You would think it’s common sense, but I can tell you
how many times my Postmates went to the wrong building, went to the wrong entrance, spit in my food, I’m just kidding, that hasn’t happen. I hope not. What do you want to do today? I’m doing your mom. Really? I didn’t feel a thing! Not very impressive! Hey Tim. My mom has Facebook. Ouch! Debra is gonna call you out. Of all people, Debra is gonna be like, No, delete your account. But anyways, that’s all for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. Comment below which
one was your favorite, and try out some
of these on your friends, see what they say and tell me. I’m not responsible
for friends unfriending you. If you guys enjoyed this video, make sure to hit that
like button in the face! And subscribe, join the wolf pack. I love you guys so much. Thanks for watching. Bye guys. [Music]

100 thoughts on “FUNNIEST COMEBACK TEXTS

  1. 0:35 that has happened before my friend asked if I was awake and said no I'm still sleeping and they said ok gn so I said gn

  2. 😍wiggle😍
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    😍Wiggle😍
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  3. πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. πŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€“πŸ€“

  5. If I get a lot like and comments I will do shout out to those people they have to get over 100 Place y'all did you guys think I'm going to trick you my YouTube channel is Stacy desir

  6. 5:49 I already got me a Dad like that!!! 🀣🀣🀣 No joke, my Dad says sh*t like that all the time…

  7. .⁄(⁄ ⁄‒⁄-⁄‒⁄ ⁄)⁄⁄(⁄ ⁄‒⁄-⁄‒⁄ ⁄)⁄V●α΄₯●VΰΈ…^β€’ο»Œβ€’^ΰΈ…(=^ο½₯ο½ͺο½₯^=)

  8. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I liked this video
    You should too
    If not
    I’ll come to your house
    And murder you

  9. Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf
    Sssniperwolf PS I got lazy πŸ˜‚πŸ˜΄ trying to see how long it takes to do dis stuff.
    Like if your lazy πŸ˜‚

  10. 3:34 if ghosts aren't real, WHO THE HELL TURNED MY LAMP BACK ON THAT ONE NIGHT?!?!?!? BC NO ONE WAS NEAR IT!!

  11. Rose's are red
    Violets are blue
    I will be forever ok
    Without…
    My ex; WITH OUT WHO!!!!
    me; WITHOUT YOU!!!!😝
    my ex; oh….
    Me;BYE

  12. I once caught a stupid fly in a bottle cap. I thought it was just plain luck but the next day I trapped a wasp in the freezer. Now that’s what I call pro skillz

  13. I once caught a stupid fly in a bottle cap. I thought it was just plain luck but the next day I trapped a wasp in the freezer. Now that’s what I call pro skillz

  14. Anyone 2019? I think it’s funny how she watches rich people and says who needs this much money! But then she having hecka money getting postmates.πŸ˜‚ I love you tho sniper, no hate at all! Your the best

  15. I know I'm a year late,but the weight of a baby sometimes can tell you if the baby is a little over average or if the baby was premature. But I'm not a doctor I only know stuff from what my parents told me. Understood have a nice day.

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