Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Funniest Ever Stand Up Comedians On Got Talent


yeah HI! IM DAVID! HANNAH AND JOSHUA HI THERE! yeah yeah Hello my name is Leo Lytel. I am 15
years old and I’m single. I’ve been single, Let’s see here. Pretty much my whole life Pretty sure it’s because i’m unemployed. I live in home with my parents and I don’t have a car These are all big red flags that’s why
don’t get much attention on match.com I do however have a lot of success on
tinder where I am a buff 28 year old georgetown medical student with a
portion a trust fund He’s good Now, I’m a teenager so I’m in that awkward phase of life. I’m kind of a mutant creature part adult, part child Hahahaha! But I look back on the early years
of childhood fondly You know those good old memories like
when you get in the van and turns out The man doesn’t have any candy (Haha)
course nowadays can you won’t cut it we’re in the 21st century you need
something like free Wi-Fi . the Annie haha that’s really all the kid wants
anymore speaking from experience and I want to thank my mom and dad for being
so supportive of my comedy my mom helps me book gigs and my dad helps me write
my material so I like to think I’m pretty far along in the entertainment
industry because I’ve got two things that a lot of people strive to have I
have a Jewish writer and my agent is a girl aged to sleep with you no you’re like that well it’s great to be here I’m that
excited I’m beside myself good evening everyone where the Nelson
twins my name’s justin and this is my identical twin sister Sharon we should tell you what about ourselves
we come from a small country town in New South Wales cobol boundary and we used
to be apprentice bikers which is a coincidence because we’re in bread or
buns was a small town that had one shot one pub and one prostitute haha mom found a pretty tough working three
jobs your mom didn’t even know she was having
twins until she was six months pregnant and their dad was even more surprised
because I had been in jail for three years been twins we can send each other
telepathic messages but telstra found out about it and is now included in
their cat plan it’s really frustrating knowing what
each other is thinking we want to play a game of rock-paper-scissors that lasted
three years are really hike down through airport security at the moment but I
love flying because every time we catch a flight
somewhere I always sit at the front of the plane and he sits at the rear then I’ll tell the guy flight attendant
to meet me at the back in five minutes yeah don’t worry I know what you think in
many parts of the nasty quidditch accident do you know I can’t stand Sorry Sorry let me emphasize you know
what I can’t stand look on the bright side i’ve never had
secured disney on ice now just I’m just gonna throw a
disclaimer out there if I do get too energetic please stop me I want to keep my
benefits otherwise otherwise how would i need
your cozy i’m drunk me and I’m joking is a pool i was there i was at the cinema seen the
new james bond film me of the day and it got me thinking you know maybe i would
like to about a girl you know Ben james bond but obviously i’m a bit inhibited ah Mr Bond I’ve been expecting you no left but this isn’t the first britain’s got
talent event have been too i was actually a live tour in manchester
funnily enough two years ago and the staff they couldn’t be more helpful move
in people out the wake getting into a seat and then when we finally got there the
view was just fantastic and we sat down and my sister she tapped me on the
shoulder turn around and I’ll never forget this as long as I live she said jack we are so lucky are
disabled you cannot take her anywhere thank you very much I didn’t get it I’m the youngest in my family I was
always getting beaten up by the two oldest mom and dad I used to get smacked around by these
green berets that live in our neighborhood some people call them Girl
Scouts whatever the morning of my 16th birthday my whole family tried to
surprise me with a car but they missed every saturday morning in our
neighborhood we would have this huge water balloon fight and every friday
night i put mine in the freezer so I’d win and after that all the mothers in the
neighborhood would take turns spanking me it was awesome in high school I got caught shoplifting
ones from a car dealership it was a Buick and my father said to me through
the bars of the jail cell because he was in the next cell he said you’re no son of mine which hurt
me and Confused my mother she was like damn it how did he know I was a bad kid I would sneak over to my
neighbor’s house late at night and I would bounce up and down on their
trampoline that was their daughters named Arlene
and that’s my time everybody thank you very much ok with with my with my my voice but I
still struggle with some some things like like like I have the hardest time
at a drive-through you know guys get girls you got you
gotta say this if the order of a standard had endured Hagen through
winner , like I don’t know why I I i would work ok headed yeah i wanna i wanna get you to wear big
balls . start to using my my voice as as as the voice of their chip gps is like
in 10 or 11 thousand thousand thousand feet may make a picnic Megillah oh you you turn youryour does does does the name nation
is is a ahead of you on the arm on the heart and on the right fuck with liberal didn’t you you talk
about every really yeah you you turn that you you turn yes usually use of the guy I believe that you you get in turn
anything into doing positive that’s why i am here but I’ve come along him to
some people who don’t think they think that like I didn’t show one time where
where where a guys don’t have a double it’s like hey you you you can just ma
make fun of disabilities yeah just just cause you could be you
have have one open house was it I was like what well that didn’t give us a start for
their then they thank you guys so much they think welcome to the global got talent youtube
channel click here to subscribe ok yeah

100 thoughts on “Funniest Ever Stand Up Comedians On Got Talent

  1. Can anyone explain me a joke of this two twins about apprentice bakers. I really didn't understand it cause my english still not good enough. I just guess it's a pun 🙂

  2. The 4th guy with the stutter has basically the same exact type of humor that howey mandell used to have when he was a comedian just with the stutter of course

  3. That last guy missed a joke. Should have said when he goes through the drive-thru he always ends up with 3 or 4 hamburgers.

  4. I lough, but I…I…I d…d…do…do…dont kn…kn…know w…w…wh…wha…wha…wha…what's going on to me 😑

  5. somebody please tell what is THE meaning of the last guy told these lines"

    it's like hey you you you can just ma make fun of disabilities
    , yeah just just cause you could be you have have one open house was it I was,

    like what
    ,well that didn't give us a start for their then they " FROM TRASCRIPT. IN SIMPLE LINES WHAT IT EXACTLY MEANS

  6. Let me tell you one thing, in India you need much better jokes to be famous,im not saying that they are bad , these just arent good enough

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