Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

FUNNIEST TEXTS FROM EXS


[Captions by Judy V. and kitty3448 aj at Y Translator]
Texts from your Ex. The Ex that text. Does your ex ever texts you, and you’d wish they’d
just get hit by a bus? Love you. I’ll drive to your house
and die on your porch. Good, I think tomorrow is trash day. Bruh, you did not just go there. Feel free to come over. I know somebody,
they gonna pick you up. Take you to a place where you belong,
where you can be with your own kind. Do you still hate me? Yup. On a scale of 1 to 10? If I had a gun with two
bullets and I was in a room with, Hitler, Bin Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice. You got two bullets. They’d rather kill you
then Hitler and Bin Laden. I mean, both of them are dead
but hypothetically speaking, you are worse than both of them combined. I gotta make sure you’re done. You ain’t coming back ruining
my life or anybody else’s life. Do you want to be the Sun in my life? Yes. Good. Then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me. Thank you. How jealous will you be once I move to LA, and your ex-husband is a famous actor? Ha! Then you will
remember you had yo chance. My mom is so excited for me. Well, good thing I’ll have your very
first autograph on our divorce certificate. No one gives a shit. Man, you moving to
LA to become an actor? Oh my god. Mom must be so proud. K. Every kiss begins with K, winky face. Too bad ugly begins with U. They ain’t lying. Savage begins with S. I know that I shouldn’t
have but I accidentally did, I didn’t purposely plan on cheating on you. It was an accident. You don’t accidentally f*** somebody,
you dumbass. Oops. Like what? You just
fall and slip on his dick. Hey, u free tonite? Who’s this? You kno who this is. Sorry, no I don’t. Stop being an asshole. We dated for two f****** years. Satan? OMG F*** you. Man, I gotta change my number. Satan got my number. I gotta change my number. Damn, I’m gonna get a new phone. You know what, I’m just
not gonna have a phone. Hey babe. Don’t talk to me. I’m sorry I cheated on you. Give me another chance. Your eyes sparkle like the stars, you have the most wonderful laugh, and your beauty takes my breath away. You know, I actually thought
you took my breath away, but… But what? But I just realized that I was
simply suffocating from your bullshit. Damn, let a girl breathe. I mean you was probably like, Choke me daddy. Hold up. Don’t actually… You need to move on and forget me. How am I supposed to forget you, every time I go outside and
see things that remind me of you, like garbage bins and dog shit? These are too good. Way too savage. I hate saying the word savage but… They’re just a little bit of, savage. Babe, I miss you… And she gonna send this pic back. Aw, I knew you missed me too. Nope. Just showing you
what you’re missing out on. Joey’s coming over tonight. That’s the worst thing you could do. Like somebody still got feelings for you, and you’re gonna send them this. And squeeze some lemon and
rub some salt into that wound. Come on babe, I miss you. Why don’t you come over right now? We can go up to my room, lay in my bed. You can show me how
you really feel about me. Winky face. Hun, I don’t have enough middle
fingers to show you how I feel about you. What if you were like, Oh, no, stay down. We doing it. We doing it. The ultimate middle finger, bonus middle finger. You were in my dream last night. And I woke up and had to talk to you. Haha oh lawd, what was it? We were actually going back together. What a nightmare. This is the most pathetic
thing you could send. Like, Oh my god, I had a
dream we’re back together. Oh my god, do not pull this shit. Please, do not pull this shit. I’ll tell you now,
it’s not gonna work. Hey. [Music] Oh. I’ll show myself out. I’m going to leave now. This bitch crazy. I called. I watched it ring. So simple, so elegant. How was your day? Good, until 5:15. Ohh okay. When the dude texted. 5:15, the new 666. Can we get back together? Yes. OMMGGGG REALLLYY???!! No. Don’t play with their emotions like that. Getting my hopes up like that. Hate not sleeping next to you. Hate this. How I sleep knowing that nobody’s
cheating on me because I’m single AF. Well, if you hate not
sleeping next to anybody, why don’t you go sleep with your side hoe, if you want to cheat so badly? Cheaters gonna cheat. Ur a f****** cleeshay. Name your kids dumb shit, work in a tatoo place, pray to crystals and
‘meditate’ and smoke weed. Grow up u’ll never change. I ran that through Google Translate, because I wasn’t sure
if you’re speaking English, this is what it gave me: I’m still lurking all
your social media relentlessly, because I am hopelessly in love with you, please come back. Oh no, I’m desperate. Missed getting lost in
those blue eyes of yours. Yeah, my eyes are green. Oh [bleep] don’t even know
the color of her eyes. I’d be so offended if somebody told me this. If someone I dated got
the color of my eyes wrong, how many hoes you with that you
gotta forget my eyes are green? Well probably, you know. Are you ever gonna grow up and talk to me? Okay, what would you like to talk about? I’d rather talk to you in person. Okay, I’ll meet you in
the blockbusters parking lot. Blockbusters isn’t even a thing anymore. Exactly. Hey long time no talk. Let’s keep it that way. Short, sweet, simple. Oh, I like these. Hey Taylor!!! I thought I just saw you typing on Snapchat. I was actually trying to block you. Very relatable. What’d I tell you about getting hopes up. I just ate a fish taco,
it reminded me of you. What a coincidence. I just ordered a pizza
and it came in 20 seconds. Thought of you! Wham bam, thank you ma’am. What pizza place is that? Asking for a friend. But anyways, that’s all for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. Comment below and let me know
if your ex has ever texted you. And what did they say? Spill that damn tea. I was gonna say bitch, you thought. But it actually spilled. Bitch, you thought I want to spill it. It ain’t even tea though. But anyways, I hope you
guys enjoyed this video. If you did, make sure to hit
that like button the the face. And subscribe, join the Wolfpack. I love you guys so much. Thanks for watching. Bye guys. [Music]

100 thoughts on “FUNNIEST TEXTS FROM EXS

  1. i broke up with my boyfriend today and he cried all of lunch and at the end of school he said he cheated on me anyways >:3

  2. My ex texted me that bastered cheated on me he texted me and said long time to see wanna get coffee I said no and he said why I said because I can’t leave my house because your everywhere he said how and i said cause I’m with ya brother oooooooooooh

  3. Anybody else been here forever I live here vids Honey Your a Perfect 10.
    Your awsome 10/10 anybody else think so!! <3

  4. Bf:would you leave me
    Gf:no never!
    Bf:would you kiss me
    Gf:always
    Bf:would you beat me
    Gf:no
    Bf:do you love me
    Gf:yeesss
    Bf:would you put the middle finger up at me
    Gf:no
    Bf:now read it backwards😂

  5. FYI girl 15:15 isn't 5:15 its 3:15 🤦 but lotsa love ❤️❤️❤️❤️ i love all your videos mostly funny stuff here hahaha ❤️🤣

  6. You need to forget about me and move on
    How am I supposed to forget when every time I go outside I see things that remind me of you like garbage bins and dog shit
    LMAO

  7. My ex texted me bc he wanted me back 💀and then I’m like who u trynna fool 😂 but like no one cares tho 😂🙌🏻

  8. Me: read me a poem

    Bf: OK
    Roses r red violets are blue a scribble is ugly and so r u! XD

    Me: awwweee I loved that poem!!

    Bf: awweee I'm glad!

    Me: hey wanna see a magic trick??

    Bf: OK 🙂

    Me: POOF! Ur single!!

  9. Me: watching sssniperwolf
    Dad:*walks in my room*
    Sssniperwolf:CHOKE ME DADDY!
    Me:… Umm… She's joking…
    Dad: WTF WAS THAT!
    Me:… Umm… She's joking…

  10. When my ex text me I said oh you've got a new girlfriend and send a pic of tow trash cans on top of eachouther and he said no I want to meet you and i simply said your a piece of #### and i only said that your new girl friend is trash tow cause its my damb freind

  11. I'm single and why whould I need a boyfriend when I got you I don't need a boyfriend I'll I need is you and my hamburgers

  12. 4:52 not trying to be rude just correcting the mistake 15:15 doesn't mean 5:15 it means 3:15 if you asking how I know I live in Holland so it's like the same time

  13. My first ex cheated on me. Like a year later she somehow got me to play truth or dare. I asked if she would get back with me and she was like maybeee so I said well wanna go on a date. She was like OMG YASSSS. I then said where you in the core of the sun while I'm gladly watching you burn. She didn't respond

  14. Hahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👇

  15. My ex texted me and said "im so sad without u please come back to me" and i said that would be a nightmare that never ends

  16. Ex:why u dump me
    Me: cuz I'm getting back with my boyfriend
    Ex: … f**k u
    Me:f**k u too
    Ex: ?
    Me: this is how many times you're going to probably ask me that 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀☠️☠️☠️☠️

  17. Ex : how much do you love me?
    Me: hmm let me see. If you were hanging off a cliff and I had a rope I'd throw the rope off the cliff and then step on your fingers and leave.

  18. my ex texted me and said "dont feel bad and dont put yourself down and cry " i was like B!TCH YOU KNOW I CRY OVER ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING WTH

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  20. If there was a boy who said that he had a dream that we were together I would say keep dreaming because it's not going to happen
    Wake bam thankyou ma'am

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