Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Funny Barbie Sci-Fi Movie


[Ominous music plays] Lieutenant Flip, report status. Now entering the Terran solar system, my lord. Excellent! Proceed to the third planet, energize weapons, and prepare for battle. We will soon find the one called Barbie. [Maniacal laughter] [Music] [Birds chirping] Ooh, good morning, Puffy. Isn’t it a
wonderful day? I can’t remember when I slept so well. Bark! Bark! breakfast is a wonderful idea Puffy. I’m glad to have a friend like you! Bark! I remember Puffy, Thursday is
always pancake day. [Phone rings] I’ll get it! Hello? This is she. Yes, I have a prize thoroughbred named Malnutrition. You’ve what? Kidnapped her…for a million dollars? Uh-huh. Brown paper bag, at the 7-eleven. Bark! Bark! Don’t worry Puffy, it’s the third time they’ve called. [Door bell] I’ll get it! Bye bye. I’ll be right there. Hello Barbie, may I come in? Do I know you? Barbie, don’t you remember? I’m sorry. Why don’t you guess? I’m sure I couldn’t. Are you sure? Yes. Really sure? I’m quite sure. Really, really sure? Sorry. I’ve very busy I’m your mother! Wow! I had feeling you’d say that. May I come in? I guess you should. I meant to contact you sooner, but well, you know how it goes. No, but do sit down. Barbie, I came to warn you. You must leave this place. You’re in terrible danger! Flip, estimated time of arrival? Two minutes to Earth’s magnetosphere, my lord. Good, good. Accompany me to the laboratory. No thanks. I went before we left. Shut up and follow me you numbskull. Yes, my lord. We have much work to do before we reach destination point. See to orbital procedures. Only a few minor adjustments and then
Barbie and all of Earth will rue the day she was born! And then you were born. I’m not sure I understand. Are you saying my father is an alien? I didn’t know it until it was too late. I went mad for a time, drinking. By then I’d sold my soul and
you were gone. When I found out how well you turned out I didn’t want to mess
things up. And I was ashamed of what I’ve become and how I let you down. But
daughter of an alien devil or no, you’re still my baby. And now you think they’re coming back for me? I know it! Don’t ask me how, I just do. You have got to get out of this house. Well, I do appreciate your concern but I’m sure I’ll be fine. You think I’m crazy, don’t you. I hope you’re not insulted. I’m sure you mean well. You must believe me they’re coming for you I don’t know how or when, but if they get you it could mean the end of life on Earth. Oh please, you’ll give me a swelled
head. I don’t know what else to do. I know I’m nothing but an old drunk. You’re not that old. If you won’t leave, will you at least let me stay? The night? Oh, that’s a wonderful idea! I’ll invite some of the girls over and we’ll make a party of it! Oh…neat. My lord! My lord! We have arrived. All stations are standing by. We too are ready, are we not, Arbi-bay? I…am…ready. Tell Flip what you are ready to do. Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Ha ha ha! Destroy! Destroy! Popamatic pops the dice. Pop a six and you move twice! Ha ha! My turn! Barbie, got anything to drink? There’s
more orange soda. I’m gonna die here. Sondra, want to do each other’s makeup? Sure girl! Hey, I got an idea. Let’s give Midge a makeover! Oh, what a great idea! And I’m gonna die sober. Ugh. Give me a hand with her hair. Nice choice of blusher Sondra! Ouch! Careful girls. Ooh! Let’s look! Stop it! Stop it! This is no joke. Oh never mind, let’s get some sleep. She’s right girls. Good night Good night. Good night. Good night. [Menacing music] [Screams!] Somebody, shut her up! Please, please. I will be all right. Mom was right! Oh, how pleasant! Now listen everybody you may think this is all very amusing and I myself do see some humor
in the situation, but I really would like to be going home now. But your Majesty, we are going home. What? Oh! Why do you keep calling me your majesty? A fitting term for the wife of Emperor Ock-spay. Oh, but I’m not married. Let our wedding begin! Eeeek! Bye Sondra. Bye Tiffany. Thanks for not calling me a nut. Yeah, and it was super meeting
you Midge. Soon, all will die…die…die. Right. Uh, later kid. Whew! I’m glad that’s over. I’m sorry if I scared you Barbie. I guess a mother can’t help worrying. Worrying will not help. Under the new rule, there will be order. Barbie are you feeling all right? You will be the first. Tell your people to prepare themselves. They must be ready to welcome the Emperor and Empress. Something did happen last night, tell me. You will obey or you will be destroyed. Don’t you take that tone with me young lady. So be it. You will now die. I never dreamed my wedding day would be like this. Thank you! [Organ music plays] Your highnesses, honored serfs, we are gathered here today… Get on with it! Yes, my lord. I now pronounce you… Now wait just a doggone minute! What is it? If I’m about to be married, I want it done right. I don’t ask for much but a girl only gets married once, right? Right… Well, I want a proper wedding dress
and I can’t possibly get married without bridesmaids. We’ve got to go back and get my girlfriends. My mom should be here to give me away. And where are the presents? Every bride in the world gets gobs and gobs of presents. And even though you’re
shorter than I would like, you could at least proposed to me properly. If this is
ever going to work out you’re going to have to go about it in a gentlemanly
fashion. Oh, come off it Barbie! No, I mean it. You turn this spaceship around and I mean pronto. Reverse course. Thank you. Now, that wasn’t so hard was it? You have 24 hours to prepare! I’m home! Woof! Woof! Oh Puffy, I missed you too! Mom! Hi honey, welcome home! This is our Arbi-bay, your evil robot twin. Pleased to meet you. Mom, what’s going on here? I’d be happy to explain it to you, dear. But would you mind giving me a hand with this thing? Oh, I guess. Gee, how messy. Wow! It’s absolutely uncanny. It looks just like me. Except those looks can kill. Mom, what am I going to do? I don’t want to marry an alien two feet shorter than me. It’s absolutely pukey. Barbie, that’s no reason to curse. Sorry
Mom, but it’s my wedding day and nothing is going right. Don’t worry honey we’ll think of something. Maybe we can get some information out of this robot. The Emperor will marry Barbie. I will not assist you in any way. Gee, you may look like me but your attitude could use some adjusting. That’s it! Let’s try to cheer her up. Your efforts are futile. I have no feelings, no independent thought. [Short circuiting noises] Looks like it’s working. All who resist will be destroyed… destroyed… does my hair look all right? It looks great. How do you feel? Fine. Gee, I should really apologize.
I’ve been nothing but a downer since I got here. Oh, it’s not your fault Arbi-bay. Your mind was being controlled and we’ve all had days like that. Golly you’re nice, and so pretty. That’s the darling outfit too. I hope I can be your friend. Mom, she’s perfect! Arbi-bay, we need your help. I’ll gladly do whatever I can but I
think we’re all doomed now. Where is she? She promised she wouldn’t be late. And Barbie never breaks a promise! Places, places everyone! [Singing] We’ve only just begun… I don’t care if you are short. We can still be happy. Oh, Barbie! We are gathered here today to marry these two. I now pronounced you husband and wife – rulers of the known universe! You may kiss each other. [Smooching]

38 thoughts on “Funny Barbie Sci-Fi Movie

  1. Outstanding on every level. Form and function in perfect alignment. A cinematic tour de force. Yes, this is a good one!

  2. Have You Ever Noticed THat That Troll Thingy Said That Thy Were Ariving At Erth In 2 Min And Tha Evil Guy Built A Robot And Barbie Had A Party! o.O Im Just saying But I Love he Vid!!!

  3. That was my original Mego Spock action figure from the 1970s. Finally sold him on eBay a few years ago. Not sure I did the right thing.

  4. I don't understand what she says when she answers the phone. It sounds like she's saying "Yes, I have a prized rover named Malnutrition"…..What is she talking about?

  5. She says, "Yes, I have a prized thoroughbred named Malnutrition." She's getting a ransom call for a horse that's right outside her window. Probably dumb, but we thought it was funny at the time.

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