-I want to ask about this.
Doing this documentary, you had to talk about yourself
a lot on film. -Yeah. I hated that.
-But then you had to watch it. -That was horrible. -The watching or the talking?
-Yeah. Every part of it. I — This filmmaker, Neil Berkeley,
came up to me. And he said, “I´ve always wanted to do a
Gilbert Gottfried documentary.” And I said, “Well, you should set your dreams
a lot higher than that.” -But then he made
this wonderful film. You — One of the things
we found out — I want to mention
that clip real quick. You are a hoarder, it seems. -Yeah, yeah, I could be
on any one of those shows. -Uh-huh.
-It´s like — See, I think mainly
anything I can get for free. If someone came up and said, “I´ve got a carton of
sanitary napkins” or something, I´d go, “Okay, yeah.” You´d take that? -I´m sure I could find
a use for those. -Your children,
your wife are in the film? -Yes. -Do your children
think you are funny? -My son,
when he was in preschool, the teacher said,
“He´s always — He doesn´t pay attention. And he´s always trying
to crack jokes.” And I thought, “Yeah, I´m going
to really beat him for this. Yeah. I don´t know
where he gets this from.” And she said, “Where´d you
learn how to be funny?” And he said, “From my daddy.” And she said,
“Oh, your daddy´s funny?” He goes, “He´s funny at home,
not at work.” [ Laughter ] -He heckled you.
-Uh, yes. -He heckled you to a teacher.
-Yeah. And I have to respect anyone who doesn´t admire me
as a performer. -[ Laughs ] You talk about a couple
of incidents where you have gotten in trouble
for jokes that you did. One of them, I believe — -Luckily,
it stayed out of the press. -Yeah. You have had — -And it stayed off the Internet. -One was you told a 9/11 joke
right after — right after 9/11
at a Hugh Hefner roast. -Yeah. It was — It was like a couple of days
after September 11th. People are booing and hissing. One guy yelled out, “Too soon.” Which I thought meant I didn´t
take a long enough pause between the setup
and the punch line. And then I figure why not go to the
bottom level of hell? And I go in,
I tell the Aristocrats joke. -Now, this is funny. Because we´re talking
about one documentary, but the telling
of The Aristocrats joke led to a different documentary
about the history of the joke. Yeah, it´s called
“The Aristocrats,” oddly enough. -And that was —
That´s sort of a filthy joke. And it sort of won —
You won the room back. -It showed, like,
in situations like that, people need to laugh. They really want to laugh. In the documentary, there´s a part
where I´m doing a benefit at St. Jude´s Hospital, which is by no stretch
a funny place. -Of course not. -It´s, like,
a children´s hospital. And I went up — I thought, for sure, this would
destroy what I had of a career. And people were — It did great. ´Cause people
desperately want to laugh. -And breaking tension is sort of the root
of what it is that you do. I want to ask, because the Emmys
were just last night, Two nights ago, I should say. You hosted the ´91 Emmys.
-Yes. -And they had to put you
on a delay, yes? -Yeah. I think —
I think I´m the reason — I think, before that, they didn´t have a delay
with the Emmys. And I´m pretty sure
afterwards — Because it was the year
that Pee-wee Herman — he was in a porn theater doing
what people do in porn theaters. -Yeah.
-He was playing with pee-wee. And — And, so, I went on stage. And I said,
“I really sleep better at night knowing Pee-wee Herman´s
been arrested. If masturbation´s a crime, I should be on death row.” [ Laughter ] And how did they know
he was masturbating? Did they dust for prints? [ Laughter ] And, you know, and right now — And to think that by age 12,
I was already Al Capone. [ Laughter ] Like, you could put a charcoal
in my right hand, and I´ll crush it
into a diamond. And I was never invited back
to the Emmys. -Yeah. There you go.
Their loss. I promise you, it´s their loss. We could have used it
a couple nights ago. We all would have been
very happy with that. Thank you so much
for being here. -Thank you.
-Congrats on the documentary. Always a pleasure.