Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Grandmas Smoke Crack


Hello, my name is Gertrude I’m Muriel Hello, I’m Ethel Alright, so do you guys know what you’re here to do? We’re smoking, uh, today we’re smoking, um Crack Crack
Crack, cocaine [Upbeat Music] [Ticking Clock] Here’s a lighter, your I’d try anything once, that’s what I always say
You’re just gonna pack that [Coughing] Zoinks, that’s a lot of smoke That’s a lot of crack Wow, I feel all sorts of something [laughing] I feel a little tingling, nothing really craz-, should I feel something? [Ticking Clock] [Ragtime Music]
I’m gonna die, I’m gonna f***in die I am 86 years old, I can’t die, I’m 86. I’m gonna die. I’m too young to die. I’m too young to die You look 84 I look 84? That’s not a compliment. That’s two years younger. That’s not nice. Has anybody seen my glasses? We need to find them Muriel, your glasses are on your face. They’re on your face. They’re on your face. This is too much. This is too much. You gave us too much crack. How much crack did you give us? How much This should, this should really just calm you down. Yeah. [Ticking Clock] Your arm honey, your arm This isn’t her first time doing it We’ve been there You’re gonna be very still for a second, hold. Hold still. How do you know how to [screams] [Shh]
She startled me [Ticking Clock] So how do you guys feel? I-I-I-I think the heroin made me a lot calmer. I feel like I wanna help people The heroin really calmed, Muriel? Shit [Ticking Clock] No, no, no she needs, she needs more heroin. If we give her more heroin then she’ll be fine There she is Fred, she’s awake Muriel? [Ticking Clock] [Groans] Good thing we chopped her up, she wouldn’t have fit in there I know this isn’t how you expected today would’ve gone, but uh I think I got something that’ll make you feel a little better More crack?
No, Molly Who’s she? Oh my Gertrude, this is, your skin feels amazing [Laughter] I just wanna dance Now we can kiss and vote We shouldn’t, we shouldn’t do this. My husband Dance my face off
Fred get over here, Fred Fred you can do Molly with us Fred you are too cute
Swallow I’m a pretty good twerker right? My, oh my, I’m feeling the beat in my boobies [Snorts] God is not real
Nope, no, no sir Life is just a box of muffins I think I’m gonna write my grandkids out of the will One time, a woman was playing basketball and she tripped And her vagina fell straight on my face, and I didn’t mean to but I took a big sniff And, you know what, it was very nice. I enjoyed it Gertrude, we killed a woman today We killed a
We killed Muriel You know, I never really liked her that much. Deadweight. Wanna get coffee after this Let’s get coffee
Let’s go get coffee

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