“I love Larry Stylinson” Bitch me too…the fuck “Um, it’s a boat” (I got a river for a soul) (And baby you’re a boat) “Just a boat” Sure Jan… (Baby, you’re a boat) “Hello, you’re very small” (Beside you, I’m a loaded gun) “You replied to Louis…” “…”And some people can’t even sing…but who’s complaining when there’s auto tune eh?”…” “No fucking way” “Louis, show us your -PEEP-” “Let’s read that…show us your bum” (The way you shake it, I can’t believe it) (I ain’t ever seen an ass like that) (The way you move it, you make my peepee go…) (DA DOING DOING DOIIING) (What are you waiting for) (Love me like you do) (Lo-lo-love me like you do) I’m a cowboy, born and raised in the west Drivin’ cattle and milkin’ horses But I’m also Gay (Mah boyfriend’s back, and you’re gonna get in trouble) (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back) (You see him comin’, better head out on the double) (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend’s back) I’m his confidant… His best friend… His silly rabbit… -His what?
-His silly rabbit. -His silly rabbit?
-Yes. -Is that what he calls you?
-No -But I call myself that
-I see, okay… (…you blew my mind, it was love…at first sight) Hey… How you doin’? “Larry- I…” “I mean…Louis and Harry because…” “Larry totally isn’t real…” “It’s just Louis and Harry…” “Let me just call them that…” “Since it’s toootally not real…” -aggressive winking- “Who’s gonna be the last member of One Direction to get married?” “Who’s gonna hang on to those bachelor years for as long as he possibly can?” “I’m putting between these pair…” (Fuck you, fuck you…) (Fuck you very, very much) (Take me to church) (I’ll worship like a dog, at the shrine of your lies) (I’ll tell you my sins, so you can sharpen your knife) (Offer me that deathless death) (Good god, let me give you my life) (Take me to church…) This afternoon it was announced, Louis Tomlinson is expecting a baby with Briana Youngworms Wow…this is great… “Who’s thrown their baby on the stage? That’s outrageous!” “It’s not real!” “Oh nooo!” “He’s gonna be a dad?” “He’s gonna be a dad; he’s young right?” “Look’s like he’s on my team…gotta be honest with ya” “Sounds a little fishy…” “Now, he’s not in a relationship with the woman right?” “They’re just ‘good friends’…” “This is some kind of cover-up…I’m tellin’ ya” “This is what gay men do…” “This is what we all do.” “Has Louis’ bromance with Harry come to an end?” C’mon, you gotta be kidding me! (Cause you know that you’re gay) (You wanna suck cock) (You say that you’re straight) (But, you know that you’re not) (You were so far…in the closet) (That you have found your christmas presents) (You know that you’re gay…) (You’re really gay) (Baby mama, I’m your baby mama) (You’re just a small bump unborn, in four months you’re brought to life) It isn’t fair! So here’s our breakdown of not one… …not two… …but fifteen girls, that the One Direction lad has been connected with throughout the years… “A lot of rumours were floating around that Harry and Louis had something goin’ on together…” -“It’s true! It’s true!”
-“Yeah!” -“Are you serious?”
-“Yes!” “There were rumours that they were kinda usin’…” “You know, girlfriends and stuff, to hide the fact that they were in a relationship” (Welcome to the new age!) (To the new age…) (Talk dirty to me!) -ded- (Oh, yeah…) (I’ve been a bad girl daddy, wont you come give me…) (So give it to me like I want it) (This is for your eyes only) (Rock me up, back and forth) (Rock me up, on the floor) (Give it to me like I need it) (You know how to make me feel it) (Rock me up, more and more) (Rock me up, on the floor) (Yeah…) “Do I look like a ‘Larry’ to you?”