Laughter is the Best Medicine

Iliza Shlesinger Invites a Boy Over | Netflix Is A Joke

– The beginning of a
relationship is exciting because it’s brand new. You’re both on your best behavior, it’s still electric, you’re not totally sure about the history of mental illness
in each others families. It’s fun. And the most nerve wracking
part of a new relationship, when you’re younger is
the first time a boy comes over to your apartment. Because it’s ostensibly, like your girlfriend audition time. Like, you want him to come in and be like: “Oh, it’s so homey, I’d
like to stay forever.” And you’re like “Yes, come closer.” Like that’s what you want. You try so hard in your 20s, right? Because you’re young and it’s fun, that’s your 20s. In your 30s, no no no. Your 30s, homeboy knocks on the door, you open it, you’re standing
there in combat boots, nothing else and a garbage can on fire, you’re like “Welcome to Fuckdome, Scott.” Ticket, okay, so. But it’s interesting, ’cause in your 20s, it’s a weird mental game. Boys coming over for the first time, you’re trying to reconcile the beautiful home that your mother kept that you lived in growing up with the beautiful home that, like, Pinterest says you’re supposed to have. And the fact that you
have no fucking money, so. You’re like “should I
buy a rug or eat dinner?” “I don’t know.” Like, it’s so hard. Boys coming over, you are cleaning like you’ve never cleaned before. And it’s hard because women, secretly, are filthy. No one wants to laugh about it, like “oh, not me.” And no guys wants to imagine it, like “no way, my girlfriend’s so hot.” Yeah, yeah, you think
you got a hot girlfriend? Check the center console of her car. (laughing) She’s owned that car for a decade, it’s just, every year,
the shit just piles up, you open that, you’re like “I didn’t know an Acura
came with a time capsule.” You just shut it. You open it again, you just hear “Help.” Like there’s something in there. It’s our little, filthy,
secret stock pile, right? It’s a Now That’s What I Call Music CD, “In case they come back!”, yeah, it’s one of those cables that plugs from the tape player into the CD player, it’s a spilled nail polish, it’s like a little bit of weed dust, it’s a CalGone body
spray cause you’d rather smell like a stripper than weed, right? It’s a lip smackers, Dr. Pepper flavor, that’s just lying there
with a gash in the wax neck, like “Tell my children I died well.” It’s an iPhone 4 charger. It’s some McDonald’s napkins, it’s a french fry. Times that center console by a million, in her apartment. You are just cleaning with Swiffer and Brawny, it’s like a winter wonderland of paper towels. You’re just shoving shit under the rug. Cause you didn’t build a shelf, I don’t know how that fucking works. You’re just moving everything, you take, you put your coats in the over, burn’ em! I live in LA. Take everything, you take your cat, you put your cat in the hamper, “just for now Marbles,” “we don’t know how he feels about cats.” You’re cleaning, you discover
new rooms in your apartment, you’re like “how come the water
heater gets its on closet?” Fuck it! You beg your roommate, you
beg your gross roommate, “please just stay in your room,” “You’re so fucking disgusting.” She’s sitting there on a
throne of Wendy’s wrappers, like “okay.” (chomping) “But you text me dick pics, hello.” You shut the door, just cleaning, lighting Glade candles like it’s a fucking Catholic Mass. You’re like “it smells like ham in here!” You’re just trying to make it nice. He opens the door, you’re like “hi.” He walks in, he’s like “place is cool.” You’re like “fuck you.” (upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “Iliza Shlesinger Invites a Boy Over | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. Issa nother banger lol…..Did you know it’s impossible to breath while smiling??

    Just kidding I just wanted you to smile 😊🤷🏾‍♂️🙌🏾

  2. Wooooo…bad impression, annoying voices,frantically overexplaining dumb shot, she knows how to bring the sweet corn.

  3. LoL. This was great. I feel a guys center console is his night stand.
    Mine has got to have 8 dollars in change, two half empty bottles of water, some listerine breath strips, pizza crust and a magnum condom. 💯🙌🤣🤣🤣

  4. This is so true though. I never invited a guy over because I don't even have cable. And my place is always messy. But they should accept me how I live.

  5. Wait a second… so you're telling me a woman can do actual funny stand-up, and not be an annoying cunt at the same time?

  6. This special is so good. I have it permanently downloaded to my phone via Netflix and watch it at least once a month. Sometimes even just with the phone face down while I'm driving.

  7. S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    They are / but they intentionally ,took it to a ace we couldn't come back from / so now they like "you got to forgive"/ but I've in reality have to"put out my right eye"

  8. Still not seeing a joke and still waiting for her to tell one. I can’t give 1 star bc Netflix doesn’t want a true rating so that certain people aren’t butt hurt so we have to give a thumbs down which just still indicated it sucked ass

  9. I disagree with the haters here. (Sure, everyones entitled to their opinion. But……)
    I believe she gives a completely candid and accurate look behind the curtain of clubbing buddies, girlfriends, boyfriends, judgment, being honest with ourselves and the real social world around us. (Sure, not ‘every’ body’s world, but I believe a relatable one.)
    Just sayin’. 😎

  10. What does she say at exactly 0:29 in that weird voice after she says hommie says "oh its so hommie i want to say forever".

    Sounds like. Uhh its barbosa lol. If you know please fill me in. Thanks

  11. I thought this channels name implied that they thought netflix was a joke for housing so much bad comedy.

    She was good though 🙂

  12. She is incredibly talented. Why comedy and not comedic actress. Her body language and story telling skills are great.

  13. My room is so filthy my parents name it after different wars. But if you look at me I’m so presentable you’d never tell.

  14. That was funny! And I respect that it was from a woman’s world, not like other female comedians who use men’s perspective just because it’s easy and the crowd is already familiar with it. More of that.

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