I’m done making League of Legends videos. I’m sorry to my fans that only watch my League videos. But please, go watch my other videos. I put so much work into them, And they are honestly way better. I came to this decision when I was playing on ranked for my new video, where I was going to get diamond. *DING* Somehow we actually won this match. And then, I was two points shy of a series, when I encountered this player: This Malphite would just run down everybody’s lane and feed kills until he was zero and nine. Uh, we also had a Bard mid– We also had that going. And it was at this time that I called this Malphite: A fucking worthless braindead scumfuck bastard pile of trash mental dickface that should be gunned down in the street like the degenerate he is. *Sound effect* Now there is so much wrong with this. First, why am I being banned for talking shit in a video game? I can understand being banned for cheating, or going AFK a bunch of times, or picking Orianna AD Carry, or feeding on purpose. But talking shit to some guy that is a total dumbass? What is this, fucking pussy-ass baby preschool time? Talking shit is probably one of the only fun parts of this boring ass game. I might as well just play the bots if you want people to act like robots, Riot. *Silent Hill – Tears of .. begins playing*
I wonder if they understand that the root of toxicity is the game. It’s just not fun, and it pisses people off. Let me be serious here: League of Legends doesn’t work as a competitve game or a fun party game to play with your friends. As of today, I have more than eight thousand matches played on this game. So I have some legitimate grounds to review the game. Laning Phase: The other guy sits under his turret and farms creeps for twenty minutes. Then the rest of the game is both teams walking around the map, accomplishing nothing, Until some dumbass gets caught. That’s every match in a nutshell. The death timers are too short. The bounty system punishes you for doing good The turrets are fucking annoying. The rank system doesn’t work at all. Most of this is just the game constantly inhibiting how good you can actually do. In any great competitve video game, there are so many techniques and opportunites for a great player to just whoop some ass. In League, you don’t really have those options. And because this game wants to cater to the biggest audience possible to make the most money. Like Call of Duty, it’s just gonna stay that way. Forever. And that’s what I feel like I’m doing with my League videos. Even though my appreciation for this game is waning all the time and I wanna hit you guys with all these different kinds of videos. I’ve stuck with it Because I know my fans wanna see me play League Now, I know some of you are out there like: “But Dunkey, what about the Pro Players?” Now, please understand this, Pro League of Legends Has absolutely nothing to do with real League of Legends The Pros are in matches were all 10 guys are amazing at the game In real League of Legends: There’s gonna be 3 decent guys, and 7 retards At its best, League is just something to play in the background while you talk to your friends but a lot of the time it’s either: Too frustrating or monotonous If my friends actually get into it and try to win, they’ll just get mad at each other and start yelling and get into a argument Um, but most of the time, people just keep Alt-Tabbing outta the game and pay very little attention to the actual game, y’know It just isn’t engaging and then the match stretches into the 40-50 minute mark and nobody cares at all at that point the matches just go on for way too long, everytime. *Sad Music in the Background*
So I’m not enjoying the game, nobody I’m playing with is enjoying it but I still really want to finish this video up for you guys, cause you know once I get all the footage assembled and I’ve accomplished what I’ve set out to do for the video, that’s when I have my fun, making it come to life you know, doing the editing, putting in the voiceover that’s the payoff for me, that’s the enjoyable part And I’ve been consistently putting out League videos. Since I started out on YouTube So i emailed Riot. I said “Hey can you guys unban me so i can finish this video up” Now keep in mind during my whole career of being the top guy promoting their game for four years. Riot has done almost nothing to help me out or promote me. And I emailed them for this first and only favor. And they respond to me “nope you’re toxic” And this is when I realised That this company doesn’t appreciate me at all Or anything I stand for *Ending – Mother 2 begins in the background*
I think multiplayer games should reward the time and practice You put into them And you should be able to call the people scumfuck bastards And connect with your friends and have fun playing with them. And League of Legends offers none of these things So I’m done with it. I’m done playing League of Legends I’ll continue to play videogames and make videos because it’s my passion. I love to make you guys laugh. I wanna keep making better videos . And I wanna represent games that I truly enjoy And League has lost my respect And it’s lost that magic that used to make so fun for me And it’s lost its soul *Ending Theme – Super Mario World begins playing* Oh this looks really interesting Mhm, mhm. Yeah yea yeah yeah I have now mastered Riven. I’m trying to remember the song I made for Akali And No! Not a sexy song. Thinks he’s winning. Thinks he’s real good. And then i go BADABOOM! BADA… *explosion sound* And this guy doesn’t like to bring any quints No masteries, no moves. I am not here to learn you how to play Xin Zhao. We are you Chinese father
*laughter* Oh he put something- I am going to see you grandpa. *laughter* *inaudible slowed speech* I need Papa John’s. I need one… “This is not Papa Johns.” I need four pizzas I need QUAD pizzas. [Pizza Butt]: This is not Papa John’s!
[Dunkey]: Papa John I need you!!! There is a girl in League of Legends and she makes more money than all of us! Wow! She is a graphic designer that works for School of Rock! Woahhh! What’s wrong with his leg? I think it’s back leg broke off *laughter* Hey Shrek go over there. Shrek: Wah! Woo-shu, woo-shu! WALL-E: WALL-E! It’s level 3 here. Ugh, they found us! It was a sting operation. It was a trap! We’ve been set up! Gay mouse in position. IT’LL BE YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- *Inhales* -EARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR [Thanks Dunkey for all the laughs over the years]