Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Ivanka Trump Doesn’t Understand Words


SPEAKING OF REPUBLICAN DYNASTIES, THERE’S ONE MEMBER OF
THE TRUMP FAMILY PEOPLE RESPECT: IVANKA. SHE’S GOTTEN A TON OF PRAISE
FROM THE RIGHT FOR HER POISE AND INTELLIGENCE. AT THE SAME TIME, IT TURNS OUT,
SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT WORDS MEAN. THIS WEEK, ON TWITTER, VICE
WRITER EVE PEYSER COMPILED A LIST OF ALL THE WORDS IVANKA HAS
USED INCORRECTLY, AND IT’S A REAL FORTNIGHT. ( LAUGHTER )
FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN TALKING ABOUT HER AND JARED’S MORNING ROUTINE
SHE SAID, “MY HUSBAND HAS INCREDIBLY LONG HOURS, SO I TRY
TO KEEP MINE ON A RELATIVE BASIS.” ( LAUGHTER )
YOU THINK SHE’D KNOW HOW TO USE “RELATIVE,” BECAUSE HER WHOLE
CAREER IS ON “A RELATIVE BASIS.” ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: OH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: TURNS OUT — AND WE’VE KNOWN THIS FOR A LITTLE
WHILE — SHE ALSO DOESN’T HAVE THE
STRONGEST GRASP OF THE WORD “COMPLICIT.”>>IF BEING COMPLICIT IS WANTING
TO BE A FORCE FOR GOOD AND TO MAKE A POSITIVE IMPACT, THEN
I’M COMPLICIT.>>STEPHEN: IT DOESN’T MEAN
THAT. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT, BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, SHE MIGHT’VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO
MAKE A POINT AND ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE COMPLICIT.>>I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO
BE COMPLICIT.>>STEPHEN: OKAY. HERE’S ONE FROM TWITTER: “I
CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEODORE IS EIGHT MONTHS OLD TODAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY.”>>STEPHEN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY? HE’S EIGHT MONTHS OLD! ( APPLAUSE )
EITHER IVANKA DOESN’T GET HOW BIRTHDAYS WORK, OR DO RICH
PEOPLE GET MORE BIRTHDAYS THAN WE DO? ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) AND THEN THERE’S THIS GEM. “CUDDLING MY LITTLE NEPHEW LUKE,
THE BEST PART OF AN OTHERWISE INCREDIBLE DAY!”
( LAUGHTER ) THAT IS A DUMB STATEMENT IN AN
OTHERWISE STUPID TWEET. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE MADE
FUN OF IVANKA ONLINE FOR THIS, BUT I’D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING
IN HER DEFENSE. JIM. I’M A LITTLE BIT COMPLICIT WITH
IVANKA HERE. IF COMPLICIT IS HERETOFORE
DEFINED AS “I SUPPORT HER,” WHICH IT TIMELESSLY DOESN’T. LAUGH
I KNOW THIS ALL SEEMS HUMOROUS BUT, ALBEIT, IT IS NOT. IVANKA RISES AT THE APEX OF
SUNSHINE AND DOES A LOT OF GOOD ON A RELATIVE BASIS. IN FACT, THE ENTIRE TRUMP FAMILY
IS A BIG PART OF AN OTHERWISE GREAT COUNTRY. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. AND, IN CONCLUSION, I MIGHT ADD,
SUMMARIZING LASTLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

100 thoughts on “Ivanka Trump Doesn’t Understand Words

  1. Colbert is turning into a joke. He’s now picking on Trumps daughter. What a sexist little punk. He’s not mildly amusing anymore.

  2. All the Trumps were educated at the best schools in all the world.
    Why do they sometimes seem really uneducated?

  3. Yea…she does not understand words….whoa..rich coming from you! You're just a BS spitter!

  4. I somehow missed this show, glad I got to see this video. And Ivanka is supposed to be the smart one?

  5. Colbert is the biggest deusch bag ever wouldnt have a show if trump wasnt president bring back letterman

  6. Stephen , you should get down on your knees and THANK GOD Trump WON otherwise you be OUTTA a job.

  7. Show is dumb jokes are dumb and people are dumb for laughing and clapping when the sign comes on. Lame

  8. One blond in the family is already a trouble but if there is two blonds in one House this is Double trouble sorry for America.

  9. Oooooh Stevie – you're so shmart – I can hardly catch my breath!
    FACT IS Colbert – you're an unimaginItive DUNCE – a clod-hopper – if you had HALF the intelligence that Ivanka had you could get off that stooopid show and do something VALUABLE with your life.

  10. Is this PENETRATING WIT your own Stevie – or do you have dictionary-reading "writers" laying it all OUT for you?

  11. Steve – There are many WRITERS – James Joyce for one – who have become FAMOUS for their imaginative use of LANGUAGE –
    they take words ordinary people use in a predictable way and somehow magically CHANGE one's understanding of that "word".
    I'm not suggesting that Ivanka rises to the level of a James Joyce – but THINK (if you can) along those lines.

  12. Im European, and honestly hope USA votes better next time , then for this disgraceful hustler family . No country deserves such humiliating leadership.

  13. The video of Ivanka at the GQ was just so embarrassing😳😰😵. What she said didn't make any sense and didn't have anything to do with what they were talking about!
    https://youtu.be/tf20wypum5o

  14. "In fact, the intrigue Trump family is a big part of an otherwise great country…." 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  15. you fools lost the election because of stupidity like this …..this is not comedy , this is desperation…..

  16. Her mother Ivana is not exactly the brainy kind.. her father, has nothing to be desired, brains department and all therefore what would anyone expect from Ivanka?:)

  17. if IVANAKA DO NOT UNDERSTAND WORD THEN SHE UNDERSTANDS JESTURES she usually understand her father better than her cute jewish husband whoimis trying toi make peace betweenthe jews and the ARABS WHIM BITH WIL WILLRIP HIS FATHERIN LAW IN SOIME GRANTS AND MIONEY LIKE USUL FOR YEARS THEY ARABS ANDTHE JEWS ARE IN KHIOITS TO STEAL FOMR U S A ILEGALLY AND ILLGELAY THAT THE MIDDLE EATS MMENTALIOTY IT IS USALY JEWIS ORIGINATED AND JEW S MADE IDEAS TO STEAL U S A $$$

  18. Hey Stephen, I don't want to learn wrong english from the americans. well speaking an average american speaks poor english compared to real english

  19. Poor girl tries to project an image of intellect when she is evidently ignorant about building a sentence with appropriate words. Just like her dad. It's in the DNA or they went to the same schools.

  20. Genius report. Simple, like a bayonet thrust. The point comes through, with the least words. " otherwise" great job !

  21. Respect, An Ode to my Aid

    Love you Stephen
    So much
    You make even dead People laugh …
    After they wake up ~ for cash?
    When that happens, is it –
    Happy Birthday they say?

  22. Sometimes when kids are molested by a parent starting from a very early age…they think that it's normal behavior…that everyone experiences the same thing with an abuser in their homes.

  23. Ought that not be 'based on her relatives'?
    She does not know the meaning of the word collusion.
    AND by 'incredible' she obviously means she is not credible, you incredulous Fool.

  24. Colbert,. you'll never make up for the asshole you made of yourself when you took such joy in mocking Trump. This all looks like cry baby revenge. Imagine this; President Trump did nothing to people like this guy. They made a living mocking and laughing at him when he announced his candidacy. Then he won and made fools of them all. By simply winning, they target him again. They attacked him for running, then they attack him after he wins. What gives them the right? They're losers, cowards and traitors. It's bordering on treason to mindlessly attack the President for 5 years running. How about you lefties grow up, go to confession, and Colbert you need have another half of an ear sewn on before you talk any more shit.
    How many Hillary voters know that she worships at a witches church? She belongs to a witches church in Los Angeles. She worships the devil, is that who you wanted in the White House? President Trump is a God fearing Christian, but all of you fools voted for a devil worshipper. The former right hand man for the Clinton's exposed this information. He was with them for more then 10 years so he should know. Look it up for yourself, then realize how ignorant you are.

  25. Laugh all you want, that’s why stupids make jokes! I bet you don’t understand what he is saying! Ivanka studied at an Ivy League with honors! So who is stupid! Hahahaha!

  26. Donny you got more ice omg eight months old ? There's no birthday duh ! What's happening at that White House ? That place needs to get raided ! Send in the feds ! Get the communication ! ASAP ! Can't use those positions for personal gains or use of federal communications ! That's been the problem there's no separation ! That's bullshit ! And those security clearances are bogus the entire intelligence community said no – so if Donny days that two unqualified people should get them then it's ok ! America doesn't work like that ! This is a democracy ! Not a dictatorship ! Go to Russia ! Go underground like you said you were gonna so two or actually 958 days ago ! Beat it !

  27. Than you, thank you, thank for so thoroughly exposing this vapid, air headed wannabe for the intellectually deficient fraud she is. Happy birthday.

  28. I just don't understand. If all these Americans can't stand the trumps how is he the president. Unless he is put on the top by the Zionist. Zionist biggest puppet

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