Laughter is the Best Medicine

Jeff Dunham – Controlled Chaos – Love That City

Your wife’s quite beautiful. You saw an old photo. Yeah, I’m kidding, I know. I married a petite,
young, beautiful thing. Yeah.
She was eventually eaten by the woman I live with now. (à la Fat Albert):
Hey, hey, hey! You’re just flat-out saying
your wife’s overweight. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. She’s under-tall. Have you ever had
a weight problem? Only when she sat on me.
Will you…? Aah! Get off of me! Actually, it’s more like this: (imitating an echo)
Hello? …o…o…o… It’s dark in here!
…here…ere…ere… I found your keys!
…keys…keys…keys… I am not kidding. Then she farted and
unlocked the car doors. What does your wife think
when you do things like this? I don’t care. Well, I know you care
enough about your wife to take her on some
of these trips.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she loves
going on these trips. I know she loves
window shopping. Not in Amsterdam, she didn’t. (cackles) Ha! Because in Amsterdam, there’s hookers in the windows! I love that city. Did you
know that in Amsterdam, you can legally
purchase marijuana? I, uh… yeah… I did know that. Do you know where?
Coffeehouses. Coffeehouses! It’s my favorite
coffee place ever! I’d like a latte and a doobie. And 19 dozen donuts,
thank you. (laughter) (applause) Not long after that,
we went to the UK. You enjoyed it there.
Yeah. Did you like the
city of London? I don’t know,
I got confused one day standing in our hotel lobby.
Why? Some big old black guy
walked in to me and started speaking English
with a British accent. I thought I was in
the Twilight Zone. I swear, some big old black guy
walks up to me and goes, (posh British accent):
“Oh, good afternoon, sir!” I’m like, who the hell is making
you talk? What the hell?

100 thoughts on “Jeff Dunham – Controlled Chaos – Love That City

  1. HELLO O O O O O O O(fades out)
    ITS DARK IN HERE HERE HERE HERE(fades out again)
    I FOUND UR KEYS KEYS KEYS KEYS(fades out just one more time)
    i lost it there

  2. F*** them British people destroy the Buckingham Palace I should hijack a plane in the destroy Buckingham Palace burn it all to the ground the queen of England and nobody else the Royal Family die die die

  3. I see a generous seargent in YouTube veterans you supposed to help people when there stuff fall on purpose I'm disabled not un purpose I really I'm young dead disabled from social security now everything about swords hit my eye

  4. Welcome to the new Comedy Central Stand-Up YouTube channel! Hit subscribe for new, exclusive stand-up videos every week.

  5. My friend told me this joke

    Me:Hey wanna hear a joke

    Other guy:Sure

    Me:Why did the chicken cross the road

    Other guy:I don't know why

    Me:to get to the retards house

    Me:knock knock

    Other guy:who's there

    Me:The chicken

  6. "She's not overweight, she's undertall." I've had that problem my whole life. I've been trying to put on a little height; but so far, it's not happening.

  7. Sir Jeff Dunham. Com…

    You need to make Walter's wife!!!!

    Aye, might offend people,.. but, you do that anyways. 😉

  8. Qustion form 2018, is Amsterdan still selling the good stuff in cofe shops? And are there still hockers in windows? This is VITAL, waiting for a response.

  9. I absolutely love Walter. He never fails to make me laugh so hard that I have tears running down my face and getting waaay lightheaded.

  10. I Sooooo LOVE Walter/Jeff!! ALWAYS makes me laugh & have a 😁 on my face no matter how bad day gets! My 1 suggestion? Team up with Darcy Lynn Farmer & Edna😉

  11. Walter looks like Joe Biden ! They are both dummies and Biden was Obama's puppet ! I like Walter a lot. Joe Biden ? Not so much-

  12. Jeff. U are absolutely great.. I started watching an haven't stopped laughing yet. And all the puppets. Walter's the man. I really hope u can come to Knoxville tn…. would love to see all of u in person.. when I'm having a bad. Day. Just watch uall do ur stuff. great.. 😂 doesn't get any better……..

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