Laughter is the Best Medicine

Jeff Goldblum Reads Hilarious Thirst Tweets

– I’m Jeff Goldblum and
these are thirst tweets. (upbeat music) You, oh my god, Chris Hemsworth is so hot. Me, being intellectual, I would
let Jeff Goldblum murder me. Murder, of course, being… That’s the poetical way of
saying you kill me, baby, you kill me, baby. I would let Jeff Goldblum (laughter) redacted my redacted. You have to fill in your own redactions. I’m thinking of something. I would let Jeff Goldblum… Wow, geez. I would let Jeff Goldblum
rearrange my guts any day. That man exudes sexy and expensive. (laughter) I exude sexy and expensive. What the heck’s that mean? Any affection that I come
to exchange has never been for recompense. I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you that. It says no offense, in capitals,
but I would pay millions of dollars to have Jeff
Goldblum sit on my face exactly like this. Exactly like that. I’d be like this, I’d
be like this, you know. Things I want in a man. Six foot four, that’s exactly
my height, libra, Jewish, you want a Jewish man,
oscar nominated actor, yes, I was nominated. Oh, and is Jeff Goldblum. Oh, that’s me, so it is me. So that’s what she wants in a man. That’s sweet. It’s a lovely thing to be
appreciated in any way. Jeff Goldblum’s voice
could wake me from a coma. Mal, come back to us, Mal. Mal? She’s back! Jeff Goldblud always looks
like he’d listen deeply to your sorrows and let you have his
most expensive bottle of wine to make you feel better. The word daddy was made to
be used on Jeff Goldblum and him alone. Don’t at me? What’s that mean? – [Cameraman] If you at someone– &- Yes?
– –you’re calling them out. – Oh, don’t at me, don’t at me. Okay, I accept it, I accept it. Why is Jeff Goldblum so attractive? He’s 30 or so years older
than me and I’m a lesbian but he gets me hot and bothered. Bothered is trademarked. (laughter) Why is bothered trademarked? (laughter) Sitting in the back of this
Uber on the 134 thinking about my sexual awakening, AKA
Jeff Goldblum wearing those leather pants in Jurassic Park. You like leather clothing? Eh, sure. I don’t know you well enough, nevermind. (laughter) God, I want Jeff Goldblum to
stroke my hand and talk about microscopic variations in
the skin, like he did with Laura Dern’s character in Jurassic Park. Oh, and look at the tiny
hairs in your hands. Imperfections, imperfections? Not, nothing, not that way, imperfections. Look at that, look at that. That was the most fun I
ever had in my whole life. I mean, golly. Very, very flattering. (bright ukulele music) (squeak)

100 thoughts on “Jeff Goldblum Reads Hilarious Thirst Tweets

  1. Almost watched this video, but then i saw it was Buzzfeed and i told youtube not to recommend this channel ever again. Lol

  2. Luv this guy! I fell in luv with him in the fly he's a great actor he draws you in with every character that he plays & still looks great!

  3. The reason Jeff Goldblum got that 30 year old lesbian hot and bothered is because he looks like a 50 year old lesbian

  4. I fell in lust with him watching "Earth Girls are Easy". I think he's even sexier now.
    The man is so damn sexy.

  5. I was infatuated with him when I was younger, after watching him in Jurassic Park….
    And all I can say is, damnnn he looks even sexier now 😏😍😘

  6. I've had a crush on Jeff since I was I little girl and my bf makes fun of me , he just dont get it ! Jeff exudes sex big dick vibes 💜💜

  7. Omg i love this guy GUYS TELL HIM I LOVE HIS FILMS!! Not as in i like him as in crush but i like him in a friend way DONT COME AT ME!! 🤣🤣🤣

  8. Its funny how people keep saying how hot he was in JP but i feel he's actually far more handsome now that hes older 😂 hes got a silver fox type of thing goin on

  9. If I ever met him, I would say something wildly explicit and inappropriate.
    I humbly apologize in advance Mr. Goldblum 😍

  10. I would take any kind of company Jeff Goldblum is willing to offer me as a blessing. Sex? Companionship? Comrades in the hard-fought overthrow of late-stage capitalism? It's all on the table, baby 😉

  11. Jeff Goldblum in The Fly…. Sexy and to die for! I'd morph in a blink to be in him. A part of him… Yassss!!!👨‍👩‍👧

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